by Z. Allora
TIAN DI had arranged for their group to have a private room so they could enjoy a meal in peace.
After they ordered, Dusty asked, “What the hell did you think when Angel joined you onstage?”
Tian Di grinned. “I’ll never know how he learned the words. Though at the time, I was too stunned to think. I just sang.”
“Damn good thing you did. I heard Megan barely got ahead of the media storm.” Zack chuckled.
“It’s good to know Angel still has some influence.” Dusty chortled, and he began tapping out a soft beat on the table.
Tian Di toyed with his napkin. “I’m very grateful to Angel and all of the Dark Angels for using your power to assist Made in China.”
Dusty stopped drumming. “Oh, I almost forgot. Tian Di, Megan asked me to pass on to expect a text tomorrow morning. She’d like you to go back to Suzhou for a few days. For some promo shoots of Made in China before you head to Singapore.”
“Oh… really.” Tian Di looked at Jordon.
“Really. You’d be surprised what she’s capable of doing. Made in China made a great decision taking on Megan as your manager.”
“I guess.” Tian Di took a drink of tea.
Dusty clapped Jordon on the shoulder. “And, Jordon, no worries if you want to go with Made in China. We’ll catch up with you in Singapore. Oh, but seriously, make sure you read the travel notes on Singapore. I don’t want you getting caned.”
Zack snapped to attention. “Caned?”
“Not in a good way.” Andrew arched his eyebrow, then whispered into Zack’s ear until he fanned himself.
“You promise?” Zack demanded.
Andrew gave a single nod.
Jordon didn’t want to put those puzzle pieces together, so he glanced around the table filled with some of the best people in his world.
After a while, his brothers and their partners were laughing and enjoying the evening together.
As the evening progressed, Jordon felt an enormous wave of happiness. Maybe it was the sips of beer he was stealing from Zack’s bottle.
Boundaries didn’t have to mean walls. If anything, the ones he’d set with his brothers allowed him to have more freedom. He didn’t feel trapped by their protectiveness anymore, only cared for.
He loved the people around the table so much, and as an adult, he needed to tell them. Tapping on his teacup with a chopstick focused everyone’s attention on him.
Jordon raised his cup of tea. “I want to thank everyone here for being a part of my life. Dusty, you always took care of me and Zack, especially after Mom didn’t want us. Hell, even before that, you practically raised me. Thank you for always being there for us.”
“Always, you know that,” Dusty reassured him.
“Justin, you may be Dusty’s fiancé and my writing partner, but you’re more like a brother to me… just much less annoying than the two I have.”
Everyone laughed.
Jordon continued, “You brought happiness to the Davis clan… as well as your own brother, Andrew. Andrew, I know you and I haven’t always gotten along—”
Zack snorted. “Understatement.”
Jordon ignored the peanut gallery. “But you truly are specially made for Zack, and I’m grateful to you. Besides, you might be growing on me.”
“Thank you, Jordon.” Andrew gave him a warm smile.
“Zack, I can’t thank you enough for all the rescuing you’ve done, and all the museums you’ve gone to with me over the years. Thank you for being one of my best friends.”
Nodding, Zack fist-bumped with him. “Don’t mention it. No, seriously, if that gets around, I’ll lose my roadie street credit.”
Jordon laughed. “Cute how you assume you have street credit.”
Zack gave him the middle finger.
Turning to the love of his life, Jordon held out his hand.
Tian Di grabbed on and rubbed their palms together.
“I saw my brothers find their other halves, but I never thought I’d find mine. Tian Di, you fit me perfectly. I can’t even begin to tell you how much you mean to me. I just plan to show you over the next hundred or so years. Your love has let all my reds and oranges shine through. I love you. I love all of you.”
Everyone hugged and drank tea.
“Búyào mógu,” Zack whispered to Andrew.
“Um, Jordon, why does Zack keep whispering no mushrooms in Mandarin to Andrew?”
“No reason we want to figure out. Trust me. It would then require brain bleach.” Jordon grinned.
Chapter 20
AFTER THE Suzhou promo photo session was complete, Made in China had a few days before they needed to head to Singapore. Tian Di suggested Jordon take another class with Chin Yu Fan. This time the first hour was a pure battle of wills between Jordon and Chin Yu. Neither wanted to give a centimeter.
“No, no, no.” Chin Yu Fan clapped her hands.
Jordon jumped away from his painting, almost losing one of the paintbrushes he clutched in his fingers. “What?”
Tian Di steadied Jordon and wished he could do more than watch the struggle.
“You.” She took away both his paintbrushes and drew a free-form lotus. It looked nothing like the picture she’d wanted Jordon to copy.
Jordon smiled, pointed to her proving-a-point version, and then gave her a thumbs-up. “Well done, Fan lăoshī.”
“No.” Chin Yu X-ed out her drawing.
Jordon turned to Tian Di. “I need you to translate.”
“Sure. Go ahead.”
“Fan lăoshī, I respect you as a teacher and a new friend, but most of all as an artist. I want to learn, but I need to do some things my way.”
Tian Di wasn’t sure of the reception Jordon’s remarks would get, but he translated faithfully.
Chin Yu glared at Tian Di like it was his fault. She said in English, “Americans have too much freedom.”
Jordon cocked his head. “Please tell Fan lăoshī I can work within limits. I’ve learned boundaries can allow me to find more freedom and happiness, but I want to help set the limits.”
Tian Di translated because he didn’t know how much English Chin Yu Fan understood.
She shook her head and then stared at Jordon. In Mandarin she said, “I don’t know how to teach someone so independent.”
Translation duties completed, Tian Di added, “This is really new for her.”
Jordon nodded. “Please tell her I appreciate all she’s taught me so far, and I’m honored she’s willing to share her talent with me. Try to explain I’m not looking for independence so much as… respectful interdependence.”
For Tian Di, that drove home the point of everything Jordon was doing with his brothers. The boundaries weren’t to keep them out, but to allow Jordon freedom to do his own thing without being smothered.
Chin Yu Fan stared at both of them longer than was comfortable, but finally gave a nod and resumed the lesson.
Tian Di was impressed with the agreement Jordon struck with Chin Yu. She expected Jordon to draw something her way until the image was flawless, and then on a separate sheet of paper, she allowed him to outline the picture with his unique flair. Over the next two hours, Jordon created one reproduction of a dragonfly landing on a fully opened lotus and another with two dragonflies and two lotuses partially closed. He painstakingly applied color and water to the page.
Chin Yu Fan sang a never-ending chorus of “gānzào” and “bú ganzao” as she micromanaged the amount of water Jordon used.
But in the end, Jordon had created two gorgeous pieces.
“Xiè xie, Fan lăoshī.” Jordon shook Chin Yu’s hand.
“Anytime, Jordon,” Chin Yu said with much sincerity. To Tian Di she demanded, “You bring him back. He’s a good student. I have more to teach him.”
LATER WHEN they were recovering from what Jordon had called a bout of afternoon delight, Tian Di contemplated how Jordon worked hard to be the man worthy of him. But what about him? “You said you loved that I allowe
d you to become a phoenix.”
Using strands of Tian Di’s hair, Jordon painted invisible designs over his naked chest. “Yes, I appreciated you seeing me for me.”
Maybe it was dumb, but Tian Di was glad he could be stupid in front of Jordon without losing face. He needed to say what he was thinking. “Well, you’ve always been a phoenix, but I love watching you spread your wings. Seeing you has inspired me. I want to become the dragon you deserve.”
Jordon groaned and struggled to sit upright. “What do you mean? Is this a sex position? Because I’m still recovering, but—”
Tian Di laughed. “Jordon, I love you. You’re so silly. It is not a sex position, but later we can find one, and you can name it the dragon.”
Jordon held his hands up as if speaking to a crowd. “I am the phoenix, namer of sex acts.”
“That’s right, you are.” Tian Di just wanted to tickle him, then slip back into a nice, slow round of loving him, but he should do this while he had strong intentions.
Probably reading the change in Tian Di’s expression, Jordon asked, “So how are you going to become the dragon? Sounds serious.”
“I watched you change how you interacted with your brothers and even Fan lăoshī. I need to alter how I interact with my mother.”
Jordon’s emerald eyes widened. “What do you mean? You can’t change her.”
Tian Di pushed himself to a seated position. “You’re correct. I can only change how I interact with her, and what I’m willing to tolerate to do so. A dragon is persistent and bold.”
“Dragons are also heroic, noble, intelligent, and filled with goodness. All of which describe you. You’re already a dragon. Sounds like you need to let her know who you are.” Jordon gave him an affectionate kiss, then pulled on his jeans. “I’ll hang out in the living room.”
“You don’t have to go.”
“Oh, I’m not going. I’m looking forward to naming the Dragon with you. I’ll do a bit of drawing while you work on changing the tone of your interaction with her.” Jordon pulled on a T-shirt and shut the door behind him.
Jordon was right. This needed to be done alone. Tian Di found his discarded clothes and slipped them on. He made his bed, then skyped his mother’s number.
“Tian Di? Is everything okay?” Her surprise at the call reinforced that he didn’t reach out to her often.
“Everything is fine. I wanted to check in.” He pushed away the guilt.
She tilted her head and stared at the screen. “That’s kind of you. I’m fine.”
“Good. Good.”
His mother touched her heart. “Oh, wait! Are you calling to tell me you’ve found a girl you want to marry?”
Anger knocked guilt out of the way. “Mother, I’m gay.”
“I know you say that, but—”
“There is no but! I’ve always liked guys. I will always be homosexual, meaning I am attracted to men.” Tian Di growled. Maybe this was hopeless.
There was a long pause, and he expected she would say she had to stir the dumplings or check on something. Instead she proclaimed, “I like Jordon. He’s a nice boy.”
“He’s a man. I love him, and he’s it for me, so I’m happy you like him.”
She couldn’t have stared at him harder if he had erupted into spontaneous dance. Granted, he’d rarely been so bold and direct with his words to her. A shiver of fear slipped through him, but he didn’t let her reaction stop him.
He asked, “Do you think it was right his mother kicked him out of the house at sixteen?”
She gasped, and her hand fluttered, then came to rest over her heart. “No, of course not. Do you think I’m a monster?”
He didn’t answer, even though he thought no such thing. She was set in her ways, but she wouldn’t abandon him… completely.
His silence kept her on the defensive. “It’s terrible, a mother doing that to her son. That poor boy. Thankfully he had brothers. By the way, your sister showed me a movie where that happened. The poor child was so distraught he took his own life.”
Score for Zhang Min. She always helped him by paving the way with their parents.
Though he couldn’t let his mother distract him from his point. “Do you realize why I don’t come home much or call?”
She hesitated. The knowledge was there in her hurt expression but was quickly replaced with pretend understanding. “You’re busy. Trying to be a singer… with your band.”
“Mother, I have to deny who I am in order for you to see me and to spend time with me. I need to stop doing that.”
His mother shook her head as if she could prevent his words from penetrating into her brain. “What do you mean? I don’t—”
“By asking if I found a girl. When you complain about my hair and my appearance, it hurts me. You have never supported my singing.”
“I’m just trying to make you better.”
“That’s what I’m talking about! You can’t justify this behavior. It’s simply not right.”
She waved him off. “You’re overreacting. You always tend to do that.”
He clenched his fists in order to keep his voice controlled. “Only because you push and push, hoping I will break. Well, I won’t, and you can’t bully me into the family business, and your criticisms of me don’t convince me; they only slice and make me feel terrible.”
“I don’t want you to feel bad. I want to encourage you to have a better life. That’s all I’ve ever done with you and your sister.” She sighed with her burden of being the unappreciated parent.
Tian Di growled. He wouldn’t let her muddy the water by bringing Zhang Min into the conversation. “Finding a girl won’t make me better. Picking on my appearance won’t make me different. I’ve let your harmful criticism go for a long time, but I won’t do that anymore. I can’t do that to Jordon. It’s not right.”
“What are you saying?” His mother glared at the screen, but her voice broke.
This was it. It might not be what he intended, but he’d worked himself up, and there was no turning back. He was exhausted dealing with his family’s treatment. No more.
“Mother, you have a choice. Either you can accept I’m gay and Jordon is my boyfriend, or you can pretend I’m dead.”
A sharp intake of her breath wheezed over his speakers. “Tian Di, never say that. There is no choice.”
“Yes, there is, and it’s yours to make.”
“You are my sweet little boy who loved rose tea and cookies….” She covered her face.
“Is this goodbye, then?” His heart would break if she said yes, but so be it. He could no longer endure a thousand cuts a call and tens of thousands during a visit. The abuse needed to stop one way or another.
“No. Never.” She shook her head.
Inside him was the little boy who craved her acceptance and would settle for a single serving, but the man he wanted to be for Jordon had to have more. “Then I need you to start accepting me for who I am.”
She shifted away from the computer and stared at him as if seeing him for the first time, or maybe looking for a loophole.
He would show her no weakness in his resolve.
“I hope you and Jordon come home for the Spring Festival.” She looked right and left, then whispered, “Your father quite likes Jordon. He says he has fire like a Zhao.”
High praise. Tian Di could only agree. “He does.”
“You know your father and I were younger than you when we had Zhang Min?”
What? Did she not hear anything—
“Jordon mentioned surrogacy. He will make a good father. Do you suppose he would let me help interview the surrogates with you? There’s a good clinic here in Hong Kong, and—”
Tian Di’s head hit the desk. Indigo would say out of the pot and into the fire.
“Tian Di. Tian Di? Tian Di!”
He raised his head. “Yes, Mother?”
“Even though Hong Kong doesn’t allow two men to get married, if you were married overseas and came back to live
in Hong Kong, the government would recognize your marriage. Jordon would be allowed your benefits.”
His benefits… right. If Tian Di worked for his father. “I will not be joining the family business. I—”
She waved him off. “Fine, but after you marry, we could come back to Hong Kong for a reception, and—”
“In one call you’ve gone from pushing women on me to planning my wedding reception with Jordon?”
“I only want your happiness.” She tapped her finger against her chin. “Never mind, Tian Di. I can probably discuss this directly with Jordon. He’s quite reasonable and, I bet, has an eye for detail. Artists are special that way.”
“Mother.” Drowning in love was still drowning.
She smiled sweetly. “No worries, my darling boy. There is no rush. The waitlists are quite long at the suitable reception venues anyway.”
Tian Di stared at the insanity that was his mother. “I love you, Mother.”
“I look forward to seeing you in a few weeks.”
“A few weeks?” So soon?
“Yes, your father is taking me and your sister to one of your shows.” She touched the screen. “Thank you for calling me. I look forward to hearing from you… and Jordon, soon.”
The chat ended. What had he done? Some dragon he was!
He powered down his computer and went into the living room.
Jordon sat cross-legged with his sketch pad amid a rainbow of colored pencils.
“Can I see?” Tian Di pointed to the picture.
“Of course. It’s not done yet.” Jordon handed him the sketch pad.
A multicolored dragon with shimmering scales curled around a tree. He cuddled a long-tailed rainbow bird perched on the branch. The dragon held a fishing pole and was reeling in two fat goldfish. In the corner of the picture, black letters scrolled in English.
Dear Tian Di,
I used to write to my future husband, but since I now know your name….
We will find the right tree to fish from
And we’ll live happily ever after.
Your Future Husband,
Jordon
Tian Di pulled Jordon off the floor and into his arms. “I love you so much.”
