The strangest thing of all was that I didn't feel elements as intensely as before. Tentatively I grazed the surface of the mirror with my fingertips. It felt cold, but I couldn't find the device that could have created the ice. Someone banged on the door, startling me.
"Five minutes!" I yelled, annoyed that they didn't even want to give me a proper break. The moronic guard outside tried the door handle, and I wished the handle would freeze so he wouldn't be able to rattle it. The air suddenly became so cold that I shivered. What the fuck? Rubbing my arms, I checked for any ventilation system that could be letting out the chilly air. Nothing. Huh.
I went into one of the stalls and wished for the air to become cold. A very light tingling sensation filled me from the inside, and elements blurred out of existence for a moment. Cold air burst out of me and completely enveloped me. I almost laughed out loud, but I didn't want to alert the guards outside. No one had heard me laugh or saw me smile for weeks, so they'd only torture me until I confessed what had made me happy. It was their mission to keep me miserable all the time.
Backing out of the stall, I tried to freeze something, but my element wasn't listening to me. Wait, did I really have an element? It acted like an element, but it wasn't like any of the four main elements. I knew people with fire element could warm up the air, but I didn't know about any element that could make the air colder. Maybe I had some combination of air and water, but no one had heard about that either. I wasn't even sure if such a thing was possible. I still had the disease, which didn't make any sense. Magic disease carriers couldn't have an element. That was the whole point of the disease. But how...
The banging on the door became louder, accompanied by threats and curses. I yelled back that I was coming and turned on the faucet. Both of my parents had the disease and I had it too, so it wasn't possible that I wasn't infected. But my disease should have blocked any element from forming. My parents would have mentioned me something about a special element if they suspected I had one. I splashed some water on my face and took a deep breath.
I had to figure out what this element-like thing was, but I had to make sure no one found out I had it. My ice was my secret. A secret no one should ever uncover.
Chapter 15
Now
A gasp brought me back to reality and drew my attention to the blond girl in white overalls. Even after all this time, Thea's first reaction to me walking freely was to flinch. How strangely satisfying. She recovered quickly, and gazed at me with her big light blue eyes.
"What are you doing here? Did Alan bring you back to us?" Her lips widened into a smile.
"I thought you got transferred to a better lab." I grinned. "Apparently, your dreams to become an important scientist didn't come true."
"Yet," she said through her teeth, her smile melting away.
"I won't hold my breath."
"I miss the cute, shy boy you used to be." She reached behind her and untied her ponytail, so her thick blond hair spilled around her shoulders. Four years ago that action would have rendered me speechless, but not now. Not ever again.
"Weird. I didn't miss you at all." I turned around and started walking away, but her hand on my arm stopped me. Ice began to form all over my sleeve until she let go.
"Don't touch me." I didn't bother to shake off the ice because I didn't feel its frosty cold as strongly as I used to back at the time when I couldn't control my element properly.
"Sorry." It had to be the first time I heard her apologize, and it was for a completely wrong thing. "I only wanted to talk to you for a minute longer. It was brave of you to demonstrate your sub-element in front of everyone on that stage, but I do wonder what the president was thinking when she revealed so many secrets."
"The president and the government do whatever they want." I wasn't about to let the bitch assume there was something between Ria and me. And while Alan could reveal that particular detail to anyone he wanted, he wouldn't do it because he couldn't quite prove it and he certainly wouldn't get anything out of it.
"So, did Alan bring you here to let us test your sub-element?"
I narrowed my eyes on her. "I'm not anyone's lab rat anymore."
Despite looking uneasy, she didn't back down. She was always foolishly brave, or maybe she was plain crazy. "We did let Alan and you leave for an experiment and now... The experiment partly failed, but we got an important insight into your other abilities. Now we could test those abilities."
"Then I'm sorry to tell you that your new test will fail too because I don't plan on staying here."
"What did you come for?"
"That's none of your business."
"I hope Alan will enlighten me. Things usually happen without your knowledge anyway." A ghost of a smile traced her lips. That annoying, manipulative, lying bitch! I had to refrain myself from freezing her to death.
"Fuck you." I had to walk away from her before I lost my mind.
"You enjoyed fucking me, remember?" She batted her eyelashes at me, pressing her middle finger to her full lips.
"And wouldn't you just love to repeat it?" I chuckled. "The only problem is that I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole right now."
Her face twisted into an ugly grimace. "Say what you want, but what I told you four years ago was the truth."
"You wish," I mumbled and stormed down the hall, hoping to get as far as possible from Thea and her schemes.
Chapter 16
4 years ago
Thea and I had been seeing each other for a couple of weeks. Whenever she was sure we were alone and no one could see us, she'd steal a kiss from me or draw me away to some hidden place. I'd stopped caring about the experiments or anything as long as I knew she'd come to visit me. She was my light in all the darkness. I would have never believed a girl would be willing to risk getting the disease, but somehow she was. She was special.
My heart was thudding loudly in my chest when the door of the room opened. Thea appeared in the doorway, looking like a goddess. Her face was serious, and she played her role of a detached nurse perfectly. We couldn't let anyone know about us because she would get in trouble or lose her job for getting close to me. I didn't really care what they'd do to me if our secret was revealed, but I didn't know how I would survive being away from Thea.
She unlocked my chains and let me up, supposedly to take me to my bathroom break. Once we were out of the sight of cameras, she pulled me into one of the empty rooms. But instead of throwing herself at me, kissing me and trying to rip my clothes to shreds like she usually did, this time she turned her back to me and strolled to the bed.
"Is something wrong?" I asked in confusion.
"I can't do this anymore." She sat on the bed and looked up at me, her face grave.
"What are you talking about?" I didn't dare to go closer to her. There was something in her blue eyes that was cold and unfamiliar.
"I'm getting transferred to another lab."
Suddenly it was hard to breathe and a knot formed in my throat. What was she saying? She couldn't leave me. Not now. She was the main reason I hadn't given up on my life already. "Why?" It was all I managed to say without my voice cracking.
"What do you think?" She crossed her long legs and watched me expectantly. I didn't like the tone of her voice at all. It seemed like she was mocking me, but that didn't make any sense.
I shrugged, trying to appear as nonchalant about it as she did. Thea was a good actress, so maybe she was doing her best to control her true emotions. Maybe it did hurt her to tell me she was leaving, but she didn't know how to deal with it. Maybe.
"Oh, my poor, naive, little Adrian!" She laughed, curling her lip at me. "Did you really think I cared for you?"
I felt as if someone had ripped my heart out and crushed it into pieces. She was lying. She had to be. But I should have known better, shouldn't I? A girl as beautiful as she wouldn't have fallen for a magic disease carrier. "At least you can't deny the sex was good." I didn't want her to know what she was doing to
me with her words, so I kept my face blank.
"Yes, it was good, but it was useless! You're useless," she yelled, glaring at me. "I slept with you to find out more about the disease, but it all led me to nothing. You didn't even lose fucking control of yourself!"
"Would you prefer that I killed you?" I frowned, hardly believing what she was telling me.
"Oh, please. You wouldn't have killed me. This was my job. Everything was monitored, but you never relaxed enough. I only had to push a button and the guards would be in the room." She reached for something in the pocket of her coat, but didn't take it out. She was warning me that she had the device with her right now and someone was outside ready to barge in if I attacked her. This was her last attempt to piss me off and force me to give in to the disease. The scientists had been trying to do that for weeks, but I never gave them what they wanted. I wouldn't give Thea what she wanted either.
"You're crazy." No matter how much I wanted to freeze Thea to death, I knew I couldn't do it because that would be a win for her too.
"Perhaps." She grinned, but her smile disappeared twenty seconds later. "But you're crazy if you think a girl could really like you." She stood up and strolled over to me, swinging her hips seductively. Stopping only a couple of inches from me, she got into my face. "Listen to me carefully, Adrian. No matter what you do, you will still be a carrier. No one will ever touch you without flinching, no one will ever hold you without being tense and rigid, and no one will ever love you. No one." She whispered the last words, her eyes boring into mine.
As she tried to walk past me, her shoulder brushing mine, I turned around with astonishing speed and grabbed her wrist. Her shoulders tensed, but she didn't try to pull away as she looked back at me. "Thea, I promise you one thing. When I get out of here, I'm going to seduce and sleep with as many girls as I can, and I'll find the one who will love me and who won't be afraid of me."
"Good luck with that." She snorted, and I let go of her. I ran my hand through my hair as she closed the door behind her, and I realized that even though I felt angry and hurt, part of me was relieved too. I wanted someone to love me so desperately that I'd been willing to believe Thea's lies and pretend that we didn't hold back every time we were together.
No one could ever like or love a magic disease carrier. Everyone either wanted to experiment on me or hated my guts. At least Thea was right about one thing. No one would ever be with me unless they wanted something. And since I was never going to leave the lab, I wouldn't be able to prove Thea wrong. I took small comfort in the fact that I wouldn't be seeing her again. I wouldn't stand it if she stayed here and watched the others torture me.
Chapter 17
Now
"Do you need help?" A girl with curly black hair approached me, a shy smile on her face. She clearly had no clue who I was or she wouldn't have looked so friendly. Judging by her long white coat and a tag attached to it, she was a newbie scientist. Gears started spinning in my mind and I put on my most charming smile, the one that girls simply couldn't resist. It was unlikely my old friends would tell me anything without getting something in return, so I had to find other options.
"Clary." I exaggeratedly glanced at the name on the tag. "I'd really appreciate your help with something. Can we talk somewhere private?"
"Sure." Clary cleared her throat, her cheeks turning pink. "My office is just around the corner."
"Good." I followed her down the hall, accidentally brushing my hand against her bottom when she stopped in front of the gray, metallic door.
"Are you one of the new scientists who arrived yesterday?" Clary narrowed her dark brown eyes at me, trying to hide her discomfort. She stepped aside and let me in her small, boring, gray office. Her desk was overflowing with papers, charts and documents. She hadn't recognized me, which meant that she was one of those people who paid little attention to things unrelated to her job. It was possible she'd only heard or read about Ria's announcement, so she hadn't seen an image of me while I was demonstrating my sub-element. Anyhow, she wasn't stupid, and I couldn't exactly pretend I was one of the scientists here when I didn't have an identification card. Besides, I hardly looked like a scientist on his job.
"No." I shook my head, extending my hand to her. "I'm so sorry. Where are my manners? I'm Robert Winston. I was in the area, so I thought I could discuss some ideas with my colleagues here. Unfortunately everyone is busy." The lie slipped out of my mouth easily, and I caressed her hand with my thumb before I let go. She pulled back, flustered, nearly knocking down a couple of books from her desk.
"I'd be happy to help you if I can, but I'm new here. I'm not sure I have the necessary knowledge to..."
"I'm sure you do," I interrupted. It had been a long time since I tried to seduce a girl, but I didn't have time for that. Alan could find me any moment and ruin my pretense. I had to find out what I needed and get out of the damn place. The corners of Clary's lips quirked up. I could tell that she liked me. The poor thing would be horrified if she knew that I was one of the monsters, not one of her people. It always amazed me how much nicer people were to those who were like them.
"I have a new carrier in my lab. She spent a lot of time with another carrier and now she can't control herself at all. I was wondering if she could get back in control and continue touching the other carrier." I leaned on the wall, meeting Clary's eyes.
"Why don't you try it out? Put them back together and observe them. I'm sure you can get other carriers if your test fails and you have to finish off the girl."
I could swear the room got colder without me using my element. That fucking bitch. I exhaled and did my best to remember that I was talking to real monsters. Spending a lot of time among carriers and carriers-friendly scientists made me believe there could be good people in the world. But not here. Never here.
"I don't want to bother with the testing if you have done it here already." It took every ounce of my strength to keep a smile on my face.
"We haven't done it here, but I've met someone who did." Clary focused on the papers on her desk and started flipping through them. "As far as I can remember, the new carrier couldn't function without the touch of the other carrier. He was like a rabid animal, snapping at people with elements."
Fuck. That didn't sound good at all. "Did they manage to stabilize him?"
"Eventually." Clary looked up. "But he was isolated from others for a whole year, I believe."
"Did they try to put them back together once the carrier was in control again?"
Clary's face brightened as she found the paper she was looking for. "Yeah. It didn't go well. The carrier kept losing control and they had to isolate him all over again."
"Can I see the file?" I approached the desk, my eyes never leaving Clary's, my lips slightly parted.
"Of course." She handed me the file, watching me expectantly. I snatched the file and skimmed through it. The list of things they'd done to the carrier during the test made me sick, but I focused on what I wanted to know. Ah, yes. It said the carrier was fine for a couple of hours when he was completely in control and it was safe for him to touch another carrier. Things were suddenly looking up for me.
This meant Ria could touch me only for a short time while she was fully in control of herself. The only problem was that the test subject didn't have elements like Ria. "Do you think it would be easier for the carrier to stay in control if he had an element?"
"Not necessarily, but we can't know." Annoyance flashed across Clary's face. "Those carriers with elements somehow managed to avoid us because we can't tell if they are carriers or regular people. I wish we could catch one of them."
"Me too." I lied, giving her a broad smile. "I have to go. Thank you for your help. It was nice to meet you."
"You're welcome." She snatched a card off her desk and offered it to me. "Call me or send me an email if you want to discuss some other ideas, especially if you get a carrier with an element."
"Will do." I took the card and strode to the door.
As I closed the door behind me, I crumpled the card in my fist and threw it in the nearest trash can. Lily's team thought people would realize carriers weren't a danger now that they knew the truth about elements and sub-elements, but it seemed like nothing changed. Scientists still wanted to catch one of the improved carriers and do experiments on him.
Someone grabbed me by the arm and pushed me against the wall so hard that my breath was knocked out of me. Alan's face appeared in front of me, his fingers digging into my arm. For a moment, I forgot that I wasn't a helpless boy anymore.
"Let go of me before I kill you," I sneered at him.
"Where did you go? Are you out of your mind?" Alan hissed, stepping away from me. "What if someone recognizes you and I'm not nearby?"
"I can take care of myself." I rolled my eyes. It was ridiculous when Alan got all protective of me as if he hadn't let the scientists do to me whatever they wanted.
"Not in here." Alan placed his hand on my back and guided me down the hall. "Did you forget how hard it was for both of us to get out of here the last time?"
I met his brown eyes and nodded. Oh, I remembered. I remembered it way too well.
Chapter 18
4 years ago
Only a week had gone by since Thea left, never to return. The scientists became extra annoying because their plan with Thea had failed, so they had to invent new ways to torture me. Starvation, sleep deprivation and beatings were among their favorite methods, and I was getting weaker by each day. My element was the only thing that kept me alive, even though it was harder and harder to use it and control it. I barely had enough energy to breathe. And even breathing hurt since two or three of my ribs were either bruised or broken.
I was sitting on the floor. The cuffs tied to the wall were the only thing holding me upward. Pain shot through me every time I moved, but I still closed my eyes and tried to reach my element. The air around me went cold just as someone opened the door of the room. Quinn frowned, and I was afraid he could tell something was wrong, but he shook his head and approached me. I tended to use my element only when no one was in the room with me or when I was about to lose control. The scientists were suspicious, but so far they hadn't managed to prove anything.
No One (Element Preservers, #3.5) Page 4
