They blinked at me, looking down and noticing our hands still linked together.
“Who is this?” his dad asked.
“This is my boyfriend.” Gavin’s voice did not shake, but there was a tone of defiance in it. I was holding my breath, waiting for the inevitable explosion. His hand was hot in mine, wet with fear sweat, but I didn’t care.
Silence.
It stretched uncomfortably.
And then, “Don’t be ridiculous, Gavin,” his mother said. “Come along, we need to get your things.”
“No,” Gavin said. “I don’t think you understand.” He held up our hands, still joined and shook them a little. “I’m gay. Do you get it? This is my boyfriend.”
Her face went pale, and that was saying something since she was already so fair. His dad though, reddened until he looked something like a tomato, and he blurted out, “Not here, Gavin, not here. Let’s talk about this later.” He looked around furtively, as though terrified of being overheard. I had to resist the urge to shout at him about how queer we were.
“No,” Gavin said, breathlessly. “We’ll talk about it here. You haven’t said hello to Casey.”
It was like a standoff. Gavin and me on one side, his parents on the other, neither speaking, neither giving ground.
“Gavin,” I said, seeing Ella’s parents driving up. And mine, too, as I recognized our van.
“No, Casey. They’re going to have to deal with it now.”
I was starting to be uncomfortable, but I knew what Gavin was going through. I would stay by him.
My parents parked next to Ella’s. I needed to have my coming-out moment with them, too. I almost wished they’d walk over, so they’d be around in case Gavin’s parents had a meltdown.
His mother started to fidget, looking everywhere but at us. But his dad deflated. “Is this really what you want?” he asked in a resigned tone.
Gavin relaxed a tiny bit. “Yes. Casey is my boyfriend. I’m gay. So I won’t be dating any girls. Ever.” He put a heavy stress on the last word, as though daring them to think I was anything other than a boy.
His mother looked like she’d swallowed a lemon whole, tasting it all the way down. But finally, she faced me and said stiffly, “It’s nice to meet you, Casey.” She didn’t really sound like she meant it, but Gavin let out a breath next to me. I felt him release all his anxiety. He stopped squeezing my hand so hard, and I could feel my fingers again.
“Thank you, Mom,” he said.
His dad nodded to me but couldn’t bring himself to say anything.
Gavin nodded at them both and said, “I’m going to go say goodbye to Casey.”
They looked both worried and relieved.
“Mine next,” I breathed, seeing my parents looking this way and that, trying to spot me among all the other cars and campers.
My mom caught sight of me and waved, and I waved back. “We can do this,” I said.
“Yours should be easy, right?” Gavin asked, putting his arm around me.
“Maybe. My dad will be the holdout.”
“I thought mine would be, too.”
My mom pulled me into a big hug, forcing me to drop Gavin’s hand. “How was it?” she asked as she finally let me go.
She noticed Gavin and smiled. I went back to him and took his hand in my own.
“Casey?”
“Hi, Mom. Dad. Um. This is Gavin. My boyfriend.”
My mom only blinked and then immediately beamed at him before crushing Gavin in a hug just as confining as the one she’d given me. He even oofed as she pulled him close. My dad watched us, his face neutral.
“This is wonderful news, Casey,” Mom said. “You didn’t tell us you were gay.” Her tone was carefully neutral. I knew her. She was hurt I hadn’t confided in her but didn’t want it to come across as disapproval.
“Well, bi, actually,” I said.
“Oh, okay.” And just like that, she was okay with it all.
Some of my own tension drained away, but not all of it. My dad still hadn’t said anything.
He walked over to me, his hands in his pockets, looking down at me with an expression I couldn’t read. Then he stuck his hand out for Gavin to shake, which he did eagerly. My dad speared Gavin with a stern eye, still gripping his hand, and said, “Keep my son safe, okay?”
Before I knew it, tears were spilling down my cheeks.
He had called me son.
Arms were around me as I collapsed into sobs, and I didn’t know whose they were. But there were many, and when I finally got control over myself, I saw we’d been in a huge group hug. When my parents let me go, Gavin kept his arm around me.
My dad gripped my shoulders in his hands. “I’m just glad you’re safe,” he said. “I’m glad you’re my son. I’m glad you’re still here.” His voice was gruff from holding back the tears I could see threatening to spill down his cheeks. Mom had started to cry and was hugging him from the side.
“Thanks, Dad,” I said. “I’m glad I’m your son.”
His lips trembled as he pulled me into another hug.
Ella was behind us, bouncing up and down in excitement, her parents grinning behind her.
We all stepped away from one another and awkwardly introduced ourselves around. Gavin’s parents had come over, cautiously, to shake hands and exchange phone numbers.
During the hubbub, Gavin was able to pull me off to one side. Now the session was over, we got out our phones and hoped we had enough charge left in them to swap numbers and profiles.
Once that was done, he drew me into another kiss. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Me, too. I’m sorry we didn’t have more time. That was my fault.”
“No apology needed. I should have stood up to Ryan long before I even got here. I’m sorry for what almost happened to you. I’m sorry for not defending you from Ryan, for letting it get so far.”
“I understand,” I said, reassuring him. Ryan’s plan had never happened, and that was what mattered. I hadn’t yet been beaten up for being trans, but I’d been teased and threatened. I was kind of used to it, though that was a sad thought.
We kissed again, pressing our lips together for as long as we could before we had to breathe. His hands were all over my back, not even hesitating over the binder’s edges. Finally, his arms went around my waist, and he picked me up as we kissed. I squealed a little in fear as I felt him waver, and we collapsed onto the soft grass in an undignified heap, laughing.
I was the first to recover, and I sat on him, my legs on either side of his chest. We paused, realizing what sort of position we were in. There was a shy moment, and then we were kissing again, his hands on my butt, mine on his face.
“Casey!” came my mom’s call, and we hastily pulled apart. I helped him stand, and we went back to join our parents.
Mom was eyeing me, but I knew it wasn’t because I was with Gavin. It was me making out with him so publicly. She’d have done the same if Gavin had been a girl. I’d probably get yelled at later, but it was all worth it.
“We need to get your things,” she said when we joined them.
“They’re up in the cabin,” I said. “The trunk’s too big to carry it down the mountain.”
This was it. This was goodbye.
I could feel tears gathering in my eyes. Gavin touched my cheek, and I nuzzled into his hand. “I’m sorry we have to leave.”
“Me, too,” he whispered. He kissed my forehead, and then my lips, and then pulled me into another hug. “We’ll convince our parents to let us visit sometime. Maybe before school?”
We still had several weeks before my school started. That was a long time, but it was better than nothing. “Yeah. I hope you can convince your parents.”
“I’ll run away if it comes to that.”
“You can live with us!” I said, not caring that my parents would probably vehemently disagree.
He laughed, knowing it was an empty promise. “I…I think I love you, Casey.”
My breath caught. I never expected to hear those words together so soon, not even from Gavin. But, it was something I’d wanted to hear for so long. Those words, to that name, from someone other than my parents.
“I think I love you, too.” The words hung between us, almost visible in their intensity, even though I only whispered mine. I’d never said them to anyone else before, not like this. But it felt right.
One last sweet kiss, and then he left.
I watched him go, and he looked back once, his hands thrust in his pockets, his shoulders hunched against the inevitable fight with his parents.
My heart ached for him. Already my skin cried out to be touched by him again. I only turned away when he’d finally gotten into the car, and they’d driven away up the mountain.
I returned to my parents and Ella. They were watching me as though they knew what had passed between us. Ella hugged me, understanding, and when we pulled apart she said, “I’ll do whatever I can to help you two. You know that.”
“I know that. Love you, Ella.”
She smiled and said, “Love you, too, Casey.” It was different with us, and I felt that difference now. She did love me, but not the way Gavin did, or even the way my parents did. But it was love, and I loved her back. My sister, my best friend.
By the time we were checked out and said all the other goodbyes—to Wade, to Alex, to Lily and Nick, and everyone else—Gavin was long gone from the cabin. My parents wanted a tour, so I gave them a quick one. And then all my stuff got loaded into the car, and it was time to go.
I hugged Ella one last time, promising to text her later, once my phone was charged up.
After one last look around the camp, I got into the car.
I looked toward cabin one, the forbidden cabin, but where so many memories had been made, both good and bad. I looked toward Lincoln Lodge, where Gavin first put his hand on my leg. Even to the latrines where I discovered Ryan on the verge of beating up my boyfriend.
My boyfriend.
My heart glowed at the word, and I felt a little dizzy with it. This was love, I told myself.
I got in the car but didn’t belt in. As my dad drove us down the mountain, I twisted in my seat to gaze out the back window. So many memories. I’d thought it would be the first and only time I’d be able to come here, but now I knew I could come back. And I would.
I finally sat back properly as we passed the sign that read Ankley Springs.
Mom glanced back and saw that I was belted in. She smiled at me. “So tell me all about it!”
I did. I told her everything, all the way home.
The last thing I told her was how much I wanted to go back.
“We’ll make sure of it,” she confirmed.
My phone buzzed, and it was Gavin. I had just enough charge to check it. It was a snap of him—a selfie of him blowing a kiss at me. Just wanted to tell you I love you again. See you soon.
I took a quick picture of me doing the same, with the message: Love you, too. I’m coming back, and so are you.
I had to turn the phone off then, but I knew what his response would be. We would be together again. Soon.
About the Author
Gabriel D. Vidrine is a trans masculine scientist, dancer, and writer but is working towards reversing that order. They teach and perform belly dance all over the country, but still manage to cram in writing time whenever and wherever possible.
They are an avid reader and writer, and love science fiction, fantasy, horror, and paranormal romance, but will give any genre a try.
Gabriel lives with their husband, video game systems, and ridiculous cat, Selina, in Chicago, IL.
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: www.facebook.com/GDVidrine
Twitter: @MxEmber
Website: www.vidrinegabriel.wixsite.com/fiction
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On a Summer Night Page 17
