by BJ Phillips
“Shawn said she has one of her pictures, too,” Carrie volunteered.
“Yes, I do. Tracy is quite talented.” Shawn nodded in Tracy’s direction and smiled.
“Well, you guys are really great for my ego, that’s for sure. Now if I could just get the rest of the world to see how great I am.” Tracy chuckled. “I could quit my day job at Picture World in the mall.”
“Keep at it, Tracy. You have talent, that’s for sure. Now, how about a round of something to drink here? My treat,” Greg said.
As they went around the table ordering drinks, Carrie realized she might be a little out of her element with this group. Carrie suddenly felt a little insecure and a bit jealous. Greg owned his own IT company, Shawn was a well-known writer, Kelly renovated houses for fun, and Tracy was a photographer. Carrie knew she didn’t have any kind of talent like that. She suddenly saw herself as just an office worker. Not that she wasn’t a valued person to her boss. She knew she was and she also knew she was good at what she did. Still, she didn’t have any kind of talent like the others. Then she found out Shawn and Greg each had one of Tracy’s pictures on their walls.
As their drinks arrived, the waiter put her and Shawn’s drinks down next to each other. They both reached for them at the same time, their hands touched just for a second, and Carrie felt something akin to a leap of fire from Shawn to her. They both must have felt it at the same time, because they both looked up and into each other’s eyes immediately.
Carrie was sure Shawn felt it, and when Shawn squeezed her hand her suspicion was confirmed. But when Shawn went right back into the conversation, she thought maybe it wasn’t what she thought. Shawn’s eyes didn’t betray anything when she looked up at her. Just the friendly smile Carrie always saw.
***
Greg watched the interaction between his cousin and Carrie. Well, well…what do you know? Not just a friend. Shawn had said she was just looking for someplace to take some friends out for a fun dinner at the beach. She didn’t mention anything about a girlfriend
“Carrie, would you care to dance with me?” Greg asked when the next song started.
“I’d love to,” Carrie said, glancing at Shawn, who just smiled back.
Greg noticed Shawn’s eyes were glued to Carrie as he led her out to the dance floor for a slow dance. He kept her at some length away. All the same, he could tell Shawn couldn’t stop watching.
“So Carrie, are you and Shawn serious?” Greg asked.
“Well, you’d have to ask her. I’d like it to be serious, but to tell you the truth this is only our second real date.”
“Really? Just watching the two of you, one would think it was farther along than that. My cousin is a little gun-shy currently, but you probably already know that.”
“I do know,” Carrie sighed. “I couldn’t help noticing. I really like her a lot. You two seem very close. Got any suggestions?”
“Just hang in there. I’d say she really likes you too, from what I can see. She doesn’t give her heart easily. The last time she did, it got stomped on pretty hard. She won’t want to take a chance on having that happen again right away. She’s one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever known, even if she is my own cousin. She just needs kid gloves right now.”
“Thanks Greg. I really am trying.”
***
Shawn watched them dancing and chatting like old friends out on the dance floor. She would’ve given anything to find out what they were talking about, but she knew she wouldn’t ask. She also wished she was the one holding Carrie and dancing with her.
Just then she noticed a couple of women dancing together. No one seemed to notice or care, and the floor was fairly crowded. Just as Shawn decided to get up and cut in on her cousin and Carrie, the song ended and the band took a break. Carrie and Greg came back to the table, Greg with Carrie on his arm.
“See, I brought her back. I saw you watching us. Did you think I was going to try to run away with her?” Greg swatted Shawn on the shoulder like they had done when they were kids.
“I guess that would’ve been up to Carrie, now, wouldn’t it?” Shawn swatted him back as Carrie took her seat next to Shawn.
Greg leaned over to Shawn. “I like her. And guess what, she really likes you.”
“Yeah, I know. I like her too,” Shawn said. “I just…”
“Well, don’t ‘I just’ too long, girl, or you might find yourself alone. She’s sweet and very pretty. You can bet we aren’t the only ones in the world who’ve noticed that, either.”
“I know, I know.”
Shawn turned around and put her arm across the back of Carrie’s chair. She leaned in and whispered to Carrie, “Greg likes you.”
“I like him, too. Since I worked with him on our computer system, I already knew how nice he is. He sure cares a lot for you. Have you always been very close?”
“Since I was little. He’s ten years older than I am, but you would never know it to look at him, would you?” They both turned and looked at Greg at the same time.
“What?” he said.
“Nothing,” Carrie and Shawn said in unison, and then laughed. Shawn’s arm moved to around Carrie’s shoulders seemingly of its own accord and stayed there.
***
Carrie leaned into Shawn’s closeness and smiled as she enjoyed every minute of it. She breathed in Shawn’s fragrance of green tea and lemon grass. Clean and yet sexy. Sweet but yet … something. She felt she could drown in it, yet didn’t feel like drowning. She wanted to nuzzle her neck. She wanted to…do inappropriate things in a straight bar and right in front of Shawn’s friend and Shawn’s cousin. Heady with Shawn’s nearness, she could feel herself getting quite warm and damp and decided she needed to make a trip to the ladies’ room. She excused herself and Tracy got up to accompany her. Minutes later, they were in the women’s room, standing in front of the mirror brushing their hair.
“So how long have you known Shawn? She seems very nice. She’s definitely cute.”
“Not long. Just a month or so. How long have you known Kelly?”
“Same. Just a month or so. Are you and Shawn a couple or just friends?” Carrie noticed Tracy glance at her in the mirror as she returned her brush to her bag.
“We’re just friends, pretty much. We’re also neighbors. I live just down the street from her.” Carrie picked up her bag. “What about you and Kelly…anything serious there?”
“No, just good friends.” Tracy winked at Carrie. “With benefits, if you know what I mean. So you and Shawn aren’t involved? I mean, if I asked her out, you wouldn’t mind?”
Carrie felt a sick feeling form in the pit of her stomach. “Well, I’d say that’s up to Shawn. We’ve only been out a couple of times. I don’t think anyone could say we have any claim on each other at this point. Anyway, she stays pretty busy with her writing.”
“You know, they say all work and no play…” Tracy laughed and tossed her auburn curls. She put her arm through Carrie’s like they were old buddies, and they went out the ladies’ room door together.
As they walked back to the table, Carrie played with the idea of socking Tracy in the mouth or yanking out some of that red hair. Just as suddenly she felt pretty silly about both options. She and Shawn had nothing exclusive going on. If Shawn wanted to date Tracy, it was her right. But maybe, Carrie decided, she needed to give Tracy a run for her money.
Carrie sat back down beside Shawn and pulled her chair a little closer to Shawn’s and whispered in her ear, “Did you miss me?” After Shawn grinned back at her, Carrie glanced over at Tracy, who smiled back, raised eyebrow in response.
***
Shawn caught the short exchange between Carrie and Tracy out of the corner of her eye and wondered what was going on. Whatever it was, she decided it couldn’t possibly have anything to do with her, so she let it go.
“You up for a walk on the beach?” Shawn asked, looking at Carrie.
“A sunset walk on the sand sounds like a great idea.”
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Shawn looked at Kelly and Tracy. “What do you think? You guys up for it?”
A few minutes later, sandals in hand, the four of them were strolling barefoot in the sugary sand, still warm from the day’s sun, the outgoing tide lapping softly at their feet. Even without touching, Shawn could feel Carrie close to her and heard her talking about something, but barely heard what she said. Every time she looked over at her, Carrie’s face appeared to be lit from the sunset, making her look like some kind of golden goddess with her hair moving in the evening sea breeze. She had to look away to breathe.
“Hey Shawn,” Kelly called out from behind them. “You guys go on ahead. We’ll sit here and catch you on your way back, okay?”
Shawn waved at her in response, reached for Carrie’s hand, holding it tightly for a few seconds as Carrie smiled at her, before letting their clasped hands drop between them. As the sunset deepened they passed the wide public beach area in silence and strolled farther to where the beach scrub came within a few yards of the waves. Realizing they were nearly alone finally, they stopped.
“Shawn?”
Shawn realized Carrie had caught her staring at her. “You look beautiful tonight.” Golden goddess Carrie smiled back at her and Shawn realized she had been holding her breath. Without thinking, her hand stroked Carrie’s cheek and she softly kissed the goddess’ yielding lips. She felt a sensation of floating. She shook her head in an attempt to clear it, turned them around, and headed back up the beach.
***
Later, as they drove back to Kelly’s, Tracy asked Shawn what kind of writing she did. Shawn happily explained that while she wrote novels, she also wrote magazine articles and some other things occasionally.
“I was just wondering if you might be interested in working on a photography book,” Tracy said from the back seat. “I’ve always wanted to put something together but I don’t have the talent for prose. I’m looking for a co-author.”
“I’d have to think about that,” Shawn said. “It’s out of my usual repertoire but we could talk about it.”
“Well, how about if I give you one of my cards? If you’re interested, you can call me later.”
Carrie didn’t say anything. It was none of her business if Shawn wanted to work with Tracy. After all, Tracy was a talented photographer and Shawn was a talented writer. This kind of thing probably happened all the time–collaborations, that is, business collaborations.
Tracy had fished out a business card, written something on the back, and handed it to Shawn. Carrie noticed Tracy had lingered a bit while handing it to her, pointing out her cell number written on the back. Well, at least Shawn didn’t give Tracy a business card in return.
“Call me,” Tracy said to Shawn. “I’d love to talk about it more, if you’re at all interested. Maybe we could discuss it over dinner together some time.”
“Um, well, I’ll think about it,” Shawn said, shoving the card into her shorts pocket. She turned to Carrie. “Ready to head home?”
“Sure, any time you are.”
Tracy hugged a surprised Carrie. “I’m so glad we met. I hope we’ll see more of each other.” She went to Shawn and hugged her as well. “And I definitely hope to hear from you, too. Don’t lose that card.”
Shawn and Kelly gave each other a brief hug. Afterward, Kelly took Carrie’s hand once again and kissed the back of her fingers. “And you, fair lady, I’m very happy to see again. I hope to see a lot more of you now that you and Shawn are friends. I hope you’ll consider me a friend as well.”
“Of course, Kelly. I hope I’ll see more of you, too.”
Shawn claimed Carrie’s hand. “All right, Kelly. That’s enough for tonight. See you guys later.”
Carrie hoped that meant that Shawn was a little possessive of her, but it could just mean she was ready to go home. At Carrie’s place, Shawn walked her up to her door, waiting while she unlocked it. Carrie reached for Shawn’s hand. “Would you like to come in for a bit?”
“Sure.” Shawn smiled.
They stepped inside and the front door closed. They were still in semi-darkness when Shawn put her arm around Carrie and kissed her. Carrie could feel her insides starting to turn to gelatin as she wrapped her arms around Shawn’s neck and deepened the kiss.
Shawn pulled Carrie closer, their breasts touching. Carrie ran her fingers through Shawn’s wavy hair, pulling her closer as their tongues danced together. Shawn broke the kiss. Carrie felt Shawn’s breathing in her ear, and then her neck, as Shawn trailed small kisses from Carrie’s earlobe to her collarbone. Carrie released a small moan, along with Shawn’s name, as she leaned into those kisses. She heard Shawn’s breathing quicken. She already felt a throbbing and wetness, nearly having an orgasm from just Shawn’s kisses. What would it be like if they made love?
Carrie felt as if she might explode this time if something else didn’t happen. But it was not to be. Shawn backed away and kissed her one more time softly on the lips. She said goodnight, and was gone.
Crap! I don’t believe it. Is she playing with me? Once again, Carrie watched the front light come on as Shawn got back into her Jeep and drove into the night. Damn! Carrie knew she was going to slip between the sheets naked tonight and ease that ache between her legs herself, just as she had done on several occasions in the past. One of these days, Shawn was not going to run away. One of these nights, she hoped, Shawn would not stop with kisses. One of these nights… Well, it was not going to be tonight.
***
Shawn was also ready to slide between the sheets to ease her own ache. She knew Carrie wanted her. She knew she wanted Carrie. She came very close tonight to taking her to bed. Damn, Carrie feels so good. She knew in her soul that making love to Carrie would be mind-blowing. But she also knew if she slept with Carrie it would mean more to Carrie than she was ready to give her right now. So she left before it went any further.
Shawn felt bad about leaving Carrie like that, but she didn’t know what else to do. She didn’t want to lose Carrie—they were already friends and had a great time together. She loved being around her. She loved talking to her. Hell, she loved kissing her. But she just wasn’t ready yet for the rest. She didn’t know when she would be ready. She wasn’t even sure how she’d know if she was ready. Stupid. This is just awful.
Well, you keep putting yourself and Carrie into this position. You know you want her. She thought about trailing those kisses farther down onto the swell of Carrie’s breast, cupping her breast with her hand and hearing her moan again. Hearing her name. Knowing Carrie wanted her. She almost got back out of bed, put on her clothes, ran down to Carrie’s house and banged on the door begging to be let in. But she didn’t.
Shawn sighed. She knew she shouldn’t be doing this to Carrie or herself. She shouldn’t make herself crazy wanting her. She shouldn’t be playing the “come here, go away” game with her. Maybe she should stop now with Carrie. Maybe she should try to hook Carrie up with Kelly. They seemed to hit it off. Kelly was also obviously taken with Carrie. Shawn knew the only thing stopping Kelly from asking Carrie out was their friendship. Kelly didn’t seem to be involved with Tracy and Tracy definitely didn’t seem that attached to Kelly much more than just friends.
But could she stand by and watch someone else kissing Carrie or holding Carrie’s hand or putting her arm around her or touching her? Hell, she nearly went crazy when she thought Carrie and Jess had something going on again. Well, that was just wrong. Those two just didn’t belong together. Kelly might make Carrie happy. Maybe she should step back and let that situation evolve? She didn’t know what she was going to do about this. Sleep on it, Shawn, old girl. Something will work out tomorrow or the next day. It had to. She couldn’t keep on like this. For Carrie’s sake and her own, she had to do something. It just wasn’t fair to either of them.
Chapter Nineteen
AS SHAWN SORTED LAUNDRY a few days later, she put her hand in each of the pockets to check them as usual. There was Tracy’s card, bent up from b
eing wadded into the laundry. She groaned inwardly and started to toss it in the trash. Something stopped her from letting go of it, so she laid it on the top of the dresser and went on sorting laundry. She had not called or seen Carrie. She knew she was an idiot, but she didn’t know what to say to her.
Later, when she picked up Tracy’s card again, she noticed something else written on it besides Tracy’s cell number. Call me. I’ll make it worth your while. She toyed with the idea of calling Tracy and finding out more about this photography book she was planning. She wasn’t blind. She could tell Tracy was flirting with her. She also knew that Tracy was no romance novel romantic. She was just out to have a good time. As crass as it sounded, even thinking of it, a fun evening in bed with Tracy didn’t sound that bad. She and Carrie were not a couple, no commitments of any kind. Heck she didn’t even know if Carrie had another girlfriend. It had never occurred to her to ask. If Tracy really was planning a book, it might be fun to work on something different than her usual novels and magazine articles. Shawn picked up the phone and dialed Tracy’s cell number.
“Hi, you’ve reached Creamer Photography,” Tracy’s recorded voice said brightly. “Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message. I’ll call you back shortly. Thanks!” When the beep sounded, Shawn changed her mind and ended the call.
Well that was stupid, Shawn. Are you going to call her or not? It’s a business call. But before she could hit redial, her phone announced an incoming call. The Caller ID said Creamer Photography.
“This is Shawn.”
“Well, hi there. I saw your number in my phone as a hang up. Forget what you called about?”
“Uh, no. I had another call come in and figured I’d call you back,” Shawn lied.
“Since you didn‘t leave a message, I thought I’d call you.”
There was a brief silence. “Well, I thought about what you said about putting a book together, and it might be fun to work on something like that. I haven’t done anything along those lines, but we could talk about it.”
