by Sky Corgan
“I didn't do anything,” I replied.
“You helped me pick out clothes. I'm fashion stupid when it comes to this style.”
“It was nothing.”
“I feel like you've been molding me into a better person since I came to live here. I really appreciate it.”
“Don't thank me. Thank Dominick. It was his idea to bring you here.”
“I know, but he really hasn't spent the time with me like you have. He brought me here, but I feel like he just expected me to change on my own. You've actually put time in with me . . . like you care.”
“I do care.”
“I care about you too,” his voice softened, and he sat up.
When I felt his hand slid onto my thigh, my entire body tensed. Reflexively, I looked down, placing my hand on top of his to stop it from moving any closer to my nether region.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
He recoiled, though he didn't look hurt by my rejection. “I just wanted to touch you is all.”
“That wasn't very appropriate.”
“You like me, don't you?”
“I like you as a friend.”
Jeff furrowed his brow, staring down at the floor. “It's hard for me to understand.”
“What is?”
“You and cuz. He's so much older than you, and he's kind of boring.”
“He's a good man.”
“I know, but I don't feel like he's the right man for you.”
I couldn't help but smirk and roll my eyes. Add another one to the list of people who don't think that Dominick and I should be together.
Jeff continued, “I understand why he likes you. You're kind and amazing and beautiful. But, I don't understand why you like him.”
His words made me flush a little. It had been a while since I'd received such compliments, especially from someone so attractive. They didn't matter though. It wasn't Jeff who I wanted to hear them from. He was just a guest, nothing more. I had no feelings for him, and I never would.
“Dom is everything I've ever wanted. He still is. He's loving and selfless. I think I get a lot of my kindness from him. He makes me a better person, just as I've helped to make you a better person. And I help to make him a better person.”
“And I could help make you a better person,” he said.
“How?”
“Don't you want to enjoy life more, go out and have fun? You're so dedicated to school that you don't really make time for yourself to live.”
“School is important.”
“But so is enjoying your youth. You won't be young forever. Dominick is boring because he's older. Older people don't go out and do a lot of stuff. But he's making you older too.”
It was a strange thing to hear him say. Did being around Dominick make me seem more mature? In truth, we had both been treating Jeff like a kid. I thought of him as more of a responsibility than a friend. Was that something a nineteen-year-old should really be doing? Then again, my sister had done it with me. There was nothing wrong with it.
“I'm happy with my life.” I decided finally.
“Have you ever even been with a man your own age?” Jeff's words caught me off-guard.
“That's none of your business.”
“You haven't, have you? It's probably always been Dominick.”
“I've never felt the need to be with anyone else.”
“You don't know what you're missing out on.”
“I don't care what I'm missing out on,” my voice took an agitated turn. The conversation was pissing me off, though I wasn't sure why.
“You should try being with me. Just once.”
“Listen, Jeff, I'm not one of those little harlots you used to bang back home, okay. I value my relationship. And if you value my friendship, you'll put whatever perverted thoughts you're having out of mind. I'm sure Dominick wouldn't be pleased to know you're hitting on me.”
“How could he not expect it?” He smirked, which only pissed me off more.
“Well, he trusts me, so I doubt he's too worried about it.”
“But should he trust you is the question. I've seen the way you look at me. I know what I'm feeling isn't one-sided.”
“I'm sorry to inform you that it is. Now, will you just drop the subject?”
“For now.” Jeff leaned back with amusement lacing his voice.
The next few minutes were spent in tense silence. Stress built up inside of me to the point that I retreated to Dominick's room once the show was over, leaving Jeff alone to watch television until it was time to go to bed.
I took a long shower, thinking about the last thing he said. Surely, he knew better than to pursue me further. Up to that point, he had shown signs of being attracted to me, but he hadn't been so bold. His confidence at the end of that conversation made me fear that this truly wasn't over. What would I do if he hit on me again? What should I do now? Should I tell Dominick? It wouldn't be long before Jeff saved enough money to move out. Could I hold him off until then? I felt genuinely bad for his situation, and I wanted to help him. If he went back to Virginia now, everything we had done would be for nothing.
Just a few more weeks, I told myself. How much can possibly happen in a few weeks.
Chapter 11
Jeff hadn't been kidding when he said he was only going to drop the subject temporarily. The following days played out like a subtle game of cat and mouse. Jeff put his hands on me every chance he could, whispered inappropriate things in my ear. I was able to deflect most of his advances, but it seemed like the more I rejected him, the worse his behavior became. He began lashing out at Dominick, saying rude things to him, commenting snidely about our age difference and bluntly declaring I would be better off with someone else. Dominick just gritted his teeth, reminded Jeff of how hospitable he was being, and that he shouldn't press his luck. When Jeff asked what Dominick would do if he did press his luck, Dominick simply replied he would send him back home. That shut him up for a little while.
His behavior didn't really change though. It became a struggle to get him to go to work, and one day when I went to pick him up, he had disappeared. I asked his co-workers where he had gone, but none of them had a clue. They said he had just left with some guy. Part of me panicked, but another part of me hoped that someone from Virginia had picked him up and taken him back home. While Jeff's sudden acting out didn't really put a stress on my relationship with Dominick, it had put a stress on our lives, in general.
I thought to go out looking for Jeff, but I honestly didn't have any idea where to start, so I ended up waiting around at his work for an hour before returning to the condo. Dominick didn't seem particularly worried. He was every bit as fed up as I was.
“If he comes back, he comes back,” Dominick said.
“And if he doesn't?”
“Then there's nothing we can do. I'll call his father and tell him what happened. I doubt he'll be surprised or point fingers. We did the best we could for the kid.”
I nodded in agreement, thankful that Dominick wasn't upset with me. He could have easily blamed me, saying it was my idea for Jeff to get a job. But he didn't.
Hoping that Jeff wouldn't come back was wishful thinking. At around one o'clock in the morning, Dominick and I awoke to pounding on the front door. It was Jeff, and he was completely wasted, stumbling inside and grumbling at Dominick threateningly before collapsing onto one of the loveseats and almost instantly falling asleep. I could tell that Dominick was angry, but he was too tired to make a scene about it.
“We'll deal with him tomorrow,” he growled, gently grabbing my hand and guiding me back to the bedroom.
In the morning though, Jeff was gone again, and I internally sighed in relief. It was horrible for me to want him to disappear, but I felt like he was quickly becoming a lost cause. Better to be done with him than to keep trying.
The following night, it was the same thing. He banged on the door, and Dominick let him in. This time, Dominick was a lot more confrontational, d
emanding where he had been and launching into a lecture about how he should show us some respect.
“Shut it, pops.” Jeff threw his hand up dismissively in Dominick's direction.
I cowered at the word. It bothered me anytime anyone called Dominick old. Apparently, the term had gotten under Dominick's skin too.
“If you're going to treat me like an old man, then I'm going to treat you like a child,” he seethed, glaring down at Jeff, who had already seated himself on the loveseat and grabbed the television remote like he owned the place.
When he flicked on the television, Dominick ripped the remote out of his hand and threw it across the room with such force that it hit the wall and shattered. I'd seen Dominick pissed before, but never like this, and it actually frightened me. Jeff gave him a sarcastic look, but it quickly disappeared from his face when Dominick reached down and picked him up by the collar of his shirt, forcing him to stand.
“Listen to me, you little punk, you're here because I want to help you, but you're making it very difficult when you continue to act like a brat.”
“Let me go, man. I'm warning you.” Jeff clawed at Dominick's wrist.
“Warn me all you like.” Dominick threw him back against the loveseat, knocking the wind out of him. “If you want to go back home, let me know, and I'll have you on the next flight out. But if you want to stay, then you're going to behave. The next time you disappear, and we don't know where you're at, we're not letting you back in. Do you understand?”
Jeff sighed, and I couldn't tell if he was just so annoyed that he didn't feel like fighting anymore, or if he was actually defeated. Either way, he submitted, holding his hands up in surrender.
“Fine,” he huffed.
“Do you want to stay or do you want to go?”
“I'm staying.” Jeff glanced over at me, though his expression didn't change, as if I disgusted him just as much as Dominick did in that moment.
“Then take a shower and go to bed. You have work tomorrow, if you haven't been fired yet.”
“Yes, sir.”
Jeff sat there for a few moments while Dominick stood in front of him with his arms crossed over his chest. When he realized Dominick wasn't going anywhere, he pulled himself up and went into his bedroom. I walked over to where the broken remote was lying on the floor and picked up the pieces.
“I'm sorry about that,” Dominick said softly.
“Don't apologize. You were angry.”
“I know, but that was uncalled for.”
“It's not like they don't make universal remotes.” I returned to him with the pieces in hand and was surprised to find him gazing at me affectionately.
“I love you. You know that, right?”
“I do.” I smiled at him, standing up on my tip toes to give him a peck on the lips. “Let's go back to bed.”
Surprisingly, for the next few days, Jeff was on his best behavior. Apparently, Dominick's bad mood had frightened him. In truth, I wasn't sure if I was glad or not. It felt like we had been so close to getting rid of him. Maybe he had decided to go back on the straight and narrow though. Only time would tell.
A week passed without incident. Another paycheck rolled in, and Dominick confiscated it, announcing that he would start looking for Jeff an apartment whenever he got back from his upcoming business trip. Jeff was grateful, playing the perfect kid as if his unruly behavior had never occurred. Perhaps everything would be alright after all. One thing was certain, it wouldn't be much longer before we were rid of him, and that's all that mattered to me.
“I'm sorry this trip is so long,” Dominick told me as he gently rubbed my shoulder while we laid in bed together.
“It's going to be really strange without you here . . . and with him here,” I replied, staring up into the ceiling.
“If the thought of being alone with him makes you uncomfortable, you could have Tammy come stay with you a few nights.”
“Where would she sleep?”
“You could both sleep in here.”
“That would probably be awkward for her. No, I think I'll be fine. He's been really good lately. You got him that bus pass, so I expect he'll still go to work, and then I can pick him up in the afternoons. We'll get by without you.”
“Well, if you need anything, just call me. This trip is important, but you're more important.”
“Calm down. Everything will be alright.” I turned to kiss him, missing his lips in the darkness.
I woke up early the next morning to see him off. It was odd to think I'd be five nights without him. This was the longest business trip Dominick had gone on in a while, but apparently he had a lot of stuff to do in New York that would keep him occupied the entire time. He needed me to stay home and man the fort. To be honest, I still didn't trust Jeff, but I had high hopes that he'd behave while Dominick was away.
An almost tangible loneliness swept over me when Dominick walked out the door, and I was left standing in the living room alone. Jeff was still asleep, so it was just me, staring at the door as the early-morning sunlight streamed through the blinds. I wrapped my arms around myself, wondering if I'd really be alright without Dominick. Then I gave myself a pep talk and went about my business preparing breakfast and getting ready for school. The thought of leaving Jeff alone in the condo for even a few hours made me uneasy, but Dominick assured me it wouldn't be a big deal. There wasn't anything he could steal that Dominick couldn't replace, and out of caution, he took the hard drive from his computer with him.
That uneasiness followed me all the way to school and haunted me throughout the day. Victor offered to come stay with me, and to be honest, I half considered it, but that would probably be an even worse idea. Two guys who had a crush on me under the same roof. No, definitely not a good idea. And besides, Dominick would kill me.
After school, I cleaned the condo for a little while before I went to pick Jeff up from work. He was there as normal, waiting for me with a smile on his face. Almost as soon as he stepped inside my car though, the atmosphere changed.
“So, what are we going to do while Mister Stuffy Pants is away?” he asked.
“The same thing we've been doing,” I replied, staring straight out the front window.
“You don't want to go to the movies or something. It wouldn't kill you to have some fun, you know?”
My shoulders relaxed a bit. In all honesty, I had expected him to suggest something less innocent.
“Movies. Yeah. We could do that.”
“Awesome. Let's go back to the condo, so I can change and shower first though. I smell like pizza dough.” Jeff lounged back while I drove us to the condo.
Once we got there, he went to get freshened up, and then we headed out on the road again towards the movie theater. It admittedly felt good to get out of the house, though I was still uncomfortable around him. Every second we were together was filled with a strange sort of tension, and I was constantly on edge.
I let him pick the movie, and it ended up being an action flick with a gang theme to it. It took everything in me not to roll my eyes as he told the cashier what he wanted to see. Weren't you trying to get away from this stuff, I thought. In truth, there was a part of me that didn't believe he was. He had already managed to make some unsavory friends around the area.
We bought popcorn and sodas and then went into the theater. I held the popcorn between us, and Jeff dug in, talking through the previews. When the movie started, it became apparent that he wasn't going to shut up, and I sighed, sinking into my seat, hoping we weren't going to get kicked out. Throughout the entire movie, he talked too loud, laughed boisterously, made gestures at the screen, and flat out embarrassed me. You'd think the guy had no idea how to act in a theater. By some miracle, we didn't get kicked out, but by the end of the film, my nerves were completely frazzled. It was hard not to be grumpy, though he seemed as happy as a clam, talking about the movie as if he didn't even notice my crappy mood.
When we got back to the condo, all I wanted was to get awa
y from him. I used homework as an excuse, retreating to Dominick's office for some peace and quiet. It was going to be a long week.
The next afternoon, Jeff wanted to go out again. I entertained the idea for half a heartbeat before remembering my misery from the day before. When I told him that I had too much homework, he acted disappointed, but didn't press the subject.
For the most part, he was well behaved. The following two days went by without incident, and relief washed over me at the thought that everything was going to be alright. Friday rolled around, and I went to school with pep in my step, excited that Dominick would be coming home the next morning. Sadly, it seemed to be the only thing I had to look forward to now that Jeff was around.
Jeff got paid that afternoon, so he was unusually chipper too. Since Dominick wasn't there to confiscate his paycheck, it seemed to be burning a hole in his hand.
“You should take me to cash this,” he told me while we were pulling out of the pizza place parking lot.
“You're supposed to sign it over to Dominick,” I reminded him.
“I know, but Stuffy Pants won't be home until tomorrow. It wouldn't hurt for us to have a little fun tonight.”
“What's your idea of fun?” I asked, admittedly tempted by the idea of having him pay for something for once.
“We could go to Castles N' Coasters.”
I let out a short grunt, thinking about how long it had been since I'd gone to a theme park. Dominick told me we'd go to one together, but he hadn't lived up to his word. His idea of fun was more refined. Art galleries and museums. It would be nice to do something different for once.
“Alright,” I agreed, unable to resist.
“Awesome. Woohoo!” he hooted, and I couldn't help but smile at the excitement on his face as we drove to the bank to cash his check. Hopefully, Dominick wouldn't kill me for this. The money from Jeff's paychecks was supposed to be going towards his rent.
We went back to the condo to change and then headed out to the theme park. Jeff was so wound up when we got there that he was practically wiggling as we waited in line for our tickets. Once we got inside, he grabbed me by the hand and dragged me around the whole park.
