Calla looked past Sam, out the kitchen window to the green paddocks of Roo’s Rest. That piece of her life felt like a million years ago. She took a deep breath. If she was going to simplify her life, she had better start by speaking her most painful truth.
‘I knew he was married and I knew it was wrong, but I fell really hard. I thought he was the one, tried to convince myself that he’d made a huge mistake by marrying someone else before he met me and that, when he realised it, he would leave her. I know how ridiculous and desperate that sounds now; I really do.’
Sam was quiet. His hands moved from her bum to her back and he moved them in reassuring circles. ‘I don’t think it’s ridiculous or desperate to want to be loved.’
‘Someone said once, I can’t remember who, that the heart wants what it wants. I wanted him.’
Sam seemed to be considering what she’d said. It was a moment before he spoke, his voice low and deep. ‘He sounds like a grade-A fuckwit to me.’
‘That’s hilarious,’ Calla said wryly. ‘I’ve spent all this time thinking I was the grade-A fuckwit.’
‘He was the one who lied and cheated. And he’s the one who had the chance to be with someone incredible and didn’t take it. Which means he didn’t really want you. And that, Red, is what makes him a fuckwit.’
Calla linked her fingers together at the back of Sam’s neck and pulled him down to her mouth. ‘I think I like you, Sam Hunter.’
‘I know I like you … what’s your name again? Callie? Calla?’
Sam brought his hands to her face, cupped her cheeks and kissed her again. It was gentle, tender, lovely. She would definitely remember this forever. He looked at her so openly that she didn’t dare blink in case it broke the spell of the moment.
‘Why don’t you stay?’
The spell was broken.
CHAPTER
37
Stay?
A buzz stronger than caffeine lit her up from her toes to the top of her head. ‘You mean here on the island?’
Sam ran his fingers through her hair. ‘I mean here with me. At Roo’s Rest. I’ve got another week’s leave up my sleeve and I figure I’ll need it get the old man sorted. And then, after all that’s done, you can come back to Adelaide with me.’
Another week with Sam. Another week of sex with Sam. There he was, spectacular Sam, his eyes on her like lasers, his fingers in her hair, his body pressed up against hers. He wanted her. No doubt about that. And she wanted him right back.
Why hadn’t she already said yes? Why was she hesitating? Because there was always a ‘but’. She wanted him right back but she was finally, determinedly giving up one night so she could have forever.
And everything about Sam seemed like one night. Or maybe three. A week at the most.
He wanted her to stay.
She wanted to say yes, desperately wanted to be in a place where saying yes seemed like the most sensible, logical thing in the world. But she couldn’t.
Her new and simplified life couldn’t involve a man, at least not in the foreseeable future.
‘Sam, I—’
He lifted his head, glanced over her shoulder. ‘That’s a mobile phone ringing. It’s not my ring tone. It must be yours.’
Calla let go of him and surveyed the room. Where was her bag? She spotted it on the floor over by the coffee table. By the time she crossed the room and stuck her hand inside, it had stopped ringing. She checked the display.
‘It’s Rose.’ Calla turned away from Sam’s gaze, relieved at the interruption. She was still a little crazy with lust and post-sex euphoria and didn’t know what she should say. She pressed the keypad. Within the pace of one ring, the call connected.
‘Hey, Rose. Sorry, I missed your call.’
A breathless voice answered, ‘It’s not Rose; it’s me, Calla.’
David. Calla stilled. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘The baby’s coming. We’re in hospital. Rose wants you and I’m not arguing with my wife when she’s in labour.’ His voice became distant. ‘Breathe, honey.’
‘Oh shit, David. I’m still on Kangaroo Island. In the middle of nowhere on Kangaroo Island. Tell Rose I’m coming as fast as I can. How dilated is she? What am I saying? I don’t even know what that means. Give her a kiss from me.’ Calla pocketed her phone, grabbed her bag and threw it over her shoulder. ‘I’ve got to go home.’
She didn’t have cats or pot plants but she had a sister who was having a baby. Rose was in labour and because of her hair-brained scheme to simplify her life, Calla was a million miles and god knows how many hours away.
‘I heard. Your sister’s having a baby?’
‘Yes. Three weeks early.’ Calla was frozen to the spot. Her mind was a jumble, her knees wobbled, she felt sick. ‘I … I need to get home. She’s having the HeSheIt baby. C’mon, professional hero. Do your thing. What do we do now?’
Sam reached into his jeans for his keys. ‘Write a note for Charlie. I’ll ring the airline and get you a seat on the next plane to Adelaide. I’m taking you straight to the airport. It’s only a thirty-five-minute flight. Much quicker than the boat.’
‘B-but …’ Calla stammered. ‘All my things. Back at Penneshaw. In the cabin.’
‘Stop talking and start writing.’ Sam walked back to the bedroom. He emerged ten seconds later, shoving his wallet in his pocket and pulling on his coat. He threw Calla’s coat around her shoulders.
Calla slammed the note on the big wooden table and read it aloud. ‘Charlie. I’ve had a family emergency. Sam’s driving me to the airport. He’ll be back. You will be back, right?’
‘Yes.’ He grabbed her hand.
‘Love from Sam’s friend Calla.’ She finished. She had to say that.
‘Let’s go.’
‘You’ve got to get on the plane, Calla.’
Calla looked around the terminal. They’d just made it. She was going to get back to Adelaide, hopefully in time to see her niece or nephew being born. She was almost the last one left. Part of the reason for that was the rush they’d had to get her to Kingscote Airport. The other delay was that she couldn’t quite say goodbye to Sam and walk through the glass sliding doors out onto the tarmac.
This all felt too sudden. This goodbye, this parting. Calla shoved her hands in her coat pockets. She was afraid they would betray her if they were free, if she could touch him. If she did, she was afraid she might not let go. Might hang on to him the way she had when they were in bed, skin to skin. She didn’t know what to say. Strangely, this rushed goodbye felt more intimate than sex. Sex had been about one night. But this, right now? It was about what came next and that was the hard part. Anything she said now was too loaded. There were words on the tip of her tongue that she wouldn’t be able to take back if they came out the wrong way.
She heard the announcement again, the airport making the final call. She needed one more look.
One more sniff at his jacket, to take in the scent of Roo’s Rest and the island.
Please god, one more kiss.
‘Thank you. For everything.’ Calla grabbed the edges of his jacket and pulled him close. She kissed him hard on the lips. ‘And I mean everything.’
Sam lifted his eyebrows and smiled his spectacular smile. It sent her pulse throbbing, and other parts of her too.
‘Nice running into you, Sam Hunter.’
‘Funny,’ he said, tangling a curl in his fingers as he gazed at her.
‘And Charlie. Make sure you tell him I said goodbye. And the dogs. Pat them for me, will you? And Ben. Tell him I said see you later.’
‘I’ve got it. The dogs. Ben. Charlie. Anyone else? There was the little old lady at the craft shop who sold you that ridiculous beanie. Shall I say goodbye to her on your behalf as well?’
‘Hey, watch your mouth. I love that beanie.’ Calla flicked through the faces of everyone she’d met while she’d been on the island. There were names missing from her list, with good reason. She hadn’t mentioned Jem and Jessie and Ella
. She doubted Sam would be running into them any time soon and, anyway, she’d said her goodbyes to them when she’d left Hidden Bay. They’d been her reason for embarking on this crazy adventure. She hadn’t managed to win them over, but look who else she’d met.
‘I think that’s it.’
‘See you back home.’
‘Be nice to him. Charlie, I mean.’ A shimmer of something flattened Sam’s smile. She was still carrying around Charlie’s secret and had planned to say something before she left. This was too rushed. She’d have to wait.
He slapped her on the bum. ‘Get on that plane. I’ll pack what’s left of your stuff from the cabin and bring it all home. One week.’
‘You’ve got my number. Ring me when you get back.’
‘You bet I will. See you round, Red.’
‘See you round, Crash.’
He leant down, kissed her again, his beautiful mouth on hers. Calla sighed, rearranged her bag on her shoulder and pressed her tongue to the roof of her mouth to see if it would stop the tears.
It didn’t work. It had never worked. Such a stupid theory.
‘Go,’ he said.
‘I’m going.’ She walked to the departure gate, stopped, turned back to him.
He was still there.
Watching over her.
Sam watched Calla’s plane take off from the front seat of his car. His hands gripped the steering wheel and he leant down to look out the front window. When the plane became small and then a silver light in the distant clouds, he sat back against the seat and allowed himself to think about the woman who’d just flown home.
He was disappointed for her, mostly. There were so many incredible sights she’d missed in her whirlwind trip. The island didn’t have big historic houses; there’d never been enough money around from farming for any of that. And maybe that had been for the best, because so much of what made the island incredible was unadorned nature. Remarkable Rocks. Seal Bay. Flinders Chase National Park. They’d only driven past American River in a hurry to get to the airport. They were all the places that the tourists loved. It was a popular destination and at different times of year you could play spot the language among the United Nations of visitors that crossed the water from Adelaide to see the rugged beauty of the place.
Sam figured Calla would like those spots, but there were other places he wanted to show her. The beach at Antechamber Bay where he and Andy used to swim. Northcott Beach, where his parents took them fishing. A million other memories of life on the island that a big-hearted city artist like Calla might enjoy.
He turned his key in the ignition and the four-wheel drive rumbled to life. He backed out, left the airport and began the drive back to Penneshaw. His plan was to pick up Calla’s things at the rented cabin, pack them in this car, then go back to Roo’s Rest.
It would have been easier to deal with Charlie if Calla was still there. She’d picked it. She could see it with her own eyes. But that wasn’t the reason he’d asked her to stay.
One night simply wasn’t enough of Calla Maloney.
He hit the speed limit, set the cruise control and cranked up his favourite music.
One week.
CHAPTER
38
‘What took you so long?’ Rose greeted her sister with an exhausted smile from her hospital bed. She looked pale, her hair was mussed up like she’d stepped into a cyclone, and she could barely manage more than a whisper. Yet Rose’s expression told Calla everything she needed to know about how happy she was to be a mother.
‘Are you okay?’ Calla leant over and kissed her on the forehead, unable to look in the plastic cradle until she’d checked on her beloved sister.
‘I’m sore and exhausted but thrilled.’
‘And the baby’s perfect,’ David said, his voice catching in his throat. Then he laughed and cried a little too, and Rose and Calla joined in with happy tears.
‘I’m sorry I missed all the action. It took me ages to get here.’
‘He came much quicker than we thought.’
‘He? It’s a boy?’ Calla’s heart thudded.
‘Meet your nephew, Auntie Calla.’
‘Oh my god.’ Calla peered into the crib pulled up alongside Rose’s bed. The baby was wrapped up in a soft cocoon of blanket, but Calla could see his tiny nose, full lips and sleepy eyes. It was a baby. Calla looked up at her sister then back down at this little miracle. How could that be possible? One week earlier, HeSheIt had been safely inside her. Now here he was, a little person. A new life. If only every baby in the world were welcomed with such love. Calla’s eyes filled with tears and her heart swelled with instant affection for this tiny new member of their family. And she wasn’t the only one. David sat next to his wife, clutching her hand, teary, thrilled and looking completely beside himself with joy.
‘Is everything all right? Does he have all his fingers and toes and the other important boy bits?’
‘He’s perfect,’ Rose said with a sigh.
‘Does our little angel have a name?’
Rose and David exchanged loving glances. ‘We’re calling him Flynn.’
‘How lovely. Flynn.’ Calla tried it on for size. Thought that it fit perfectly. ‘Congratulations.’
Calla pulled a spare chair over to the bed and sat down. She felt a wave of relief shimmer through her. She’d finally made it to the hospital, much more quickly and abruptly that she’d imagined. A hasty departure and a quick kiss at the airport. Sam waving to her with that sexy smile on his face as she crossed the tarmac and walked up the steps into the plane. A flight and a rushed taxi ride to the hospital later and she was plonked right back in the middle of her real life. It felt like a tornado had swept her up and returned her to Kansas.
‘Glad to be home?’ Rose asked.
‘Yes. I guess. Not everything went according to plan but it’s beautiful over there, it really is.’
Rose looked at her sister quizzically. ‘And what about …?’
Calla tried to find the words for what had happened to her on the island. The tourist brochures promised a place of constant change, of mystery, of the experience of bending to climate and latitude. She wanted to tell Rose everything that had happened, all the mysterious changes the trip had brought about in her, but that could wait. ‘It was amazing.’
‘You don’t regret going?’
‘No.’ Calla thought about the island. About meeting Sam and Charlie and even what seeing Jem again had meant to her. ‘It’s changed my life.’
Calla trudged through the front door, dropped her bag on her bedroom floor, and fell backwards onto her bed. She barely had the energy to turn on the light, much less kick off her shoes and crawl into bed. She wanted to lie there in the dark, to calm her racing mind and settle the million thoughts and ideas that were rushing around her head like it was a centrifuge.
She was home and her island adventure was over. Her quest to put her family back together was done. And her time with the firefighter with the hero complex was over too.
Looking back to that morning, she was glad the phone call from David had interrupted the conversation she and Sam had been about to have. It meant she hadn’t had to say no when he asked her to stay. It had made saying goodbye so much easier. It gave her space to take in the beautiful drive along the shaded road back to the airport, which was imprinted on her memory now. She’d watched Sam drive in his commanding way, and he’d glanced over to her every now and then. For a while, he’d rested a hand on her thigh and she’d covered it with hers, but he’d lifted it away to change gears and he hadn’t put it back.
What had they really shared, anyway? Five days together and one spectacular night. He’d been a diversion, an accident in more ways than one. And he’d turned out to be just what she needed to kickstart a new chapter in her life. For so long she’d felt unnoticed and unloved, somebody else’s consolation prize. Sam had made her feel wanted and desired, maybe for the first time in her life. She’d been with boys and, now that she’d had a m
an, she damn well knew the difference. A man who had come after her, let her know exactly what he wanted. And taken it.
She was forever changed for having met Sam Hunter.
Now she knew the kind of man she wanted, she’d have to trash all her preconceived notions about who she should fall in love with. She’d always gone for artistic, bookish, sensitive types. Dates were subtitled movies, followed by vegan dessert and intellectual sex. She’d thought those were the kind of men she should be with, had always figured they’d more easily buy into the façade she’d created — that she was all artistic and creative and just on the verge of starting that really important piece of work. And, to a man, they had.
Sam was the one who’d seen through her. Within two days, he’d picked her as a glass-half-empty girl. And instead of reeling from it, instead of finding the contradiction, he’d helped her. He’d been by her side, just as he’d promised.
And now, maybe, just maybe, she was a glass-half-full woman.
The next time she fell in love, she wanted it to be with a man like Sam. Oh, she definitely wanted to fall in love. But with someone who was free to be hers. She wanted all that came with it too. The physical craving for someone else, the giddiness in your head when you hear his voice, the wanting. That shimmer of awareness you feel when the other person is in your orbit. She wanted to feel that need, that insatiable need, to have him all to herself. Calla wanted that foundation that two people build when they get to know each other: every admission, every secret, every predilection, shared confidences and confessions — all those things that layer into honesty and love between two people. And that moment, when you realise you are in love, completely, madly gone? And when you are free to love with all your heart?
Calla wanted that moment.
Yeah, she wanted that.
And sex, of course. She wanted to find someone who could make her come like Sam had. Just thinking about how he’d sent her spinning on the veranda at Roo’s Rest had heat rising in her cheeks and a tingle stinging low in her belly. She wanted someone who was spectacular.
Only We Know Page 23
