“But it’s a scary story,” Amy whined and she gripped Winona’s hand.
“No, it’s not. It’s a beautiful story.” Thunder rumbled, then crashed. “Doesn’t that sound like a bowling alley to you?”
Amy shrugged.
“Sometimes, we’re scared of things we don’t know or understand,” Winona said. “So let’s watch the storm and get to know it. Of course, you always want to watch from indoors with the window down. Lightning can be very dangerous. But we’re safe inside like this.”
Lightning zigzagged down the sky and thunder boomed. Amy jumped, but before she could whimper, Winona exclaimed, “Wow! Did you see that?”
“Yeah,” Amy said reluctantly.
“Beautiful. Let’s watch for another.”
“There’s one!” Amy pointed, growing more enthusiastic.
“How long do you think before it thu—”
Boom.
Winona jumped. Amy giggled and snuggled closer.
“Which do you like the best?” Winona asked as they continued to watch flashes of light. “Lightning that flashes, or zigzags?”
Amy shrugged. “The zigzag is pretty cool.”
“Do you know the loud boom of thunder is only the sound of the lightning? And since light travels faster than sound, we see it before we hear it?”
Amy furrowed her brow and jumped at another crash.
“Seriously, watch for the next lightning. Then you’ll know to expect the loud boom.”
“It’s true.” Jake’s voice was like the deep sound of thunder, and Winona jumped again. She turned to him, her heart quickening. He walked in and sat beside Amy.
“Or maybe it really is the sound of angels bowling in heaven,” Winona said.
Amy giggled again. “That would be pretty cool.”
“That’s what I always believed when I was your age.”
They watched the storm as it faded and before long, Amy was sprawled across Winona’s lap, asleep. Winona’s heart swelled as a bond of kinship tightened around her. Sure, Amy knew her parents, but she was still somewhat orphaned, as Winona had been. Jake loved her like a father would; that much was obvious.
Still, as her bond for this child tightened, so did her objectivity. This was all temporary, and she couldn’t afford to love this little girl. Amy would be going home soon, Jake right along with her, and she’d have to pick up the pieces of her life when they were gone. It’d be easier if she remained neutral. She’d like to be a good influence, but she couldn’t fall in too deep.
“Thank you for that,” Jake said softly.
Winona caught his gaze as lightning flashed across his face. A dim light from the hall highlighted him and for a moment, she was hooked and couldn’t look away. But then she smiled and glanced out the window.
“Do you have any plans for tomorrow?” Winona asked in an attempt to not make this any more complicated than it already was.
“Not particularly. We went swimming and dirt biking today.”
“Yeah, I heard,” Winona said. She swept a finger across her brow where hair tickled and tucked it behind her ear. It didn’t stay and swooped to tickle her cheek. She ignored it, realizing her hair was a token of her feelings of vulnerability. She continued. “I was wondering if I could take her with me to the animal shelter sometime soon. I want to adopt a cat, and Reagan said it was okay since I’m staying in her condo. Reagan even said she might adopt one. I thought it’d be fun to take Amy. Then we can run to the store for a scratching post and food and stuff.”
Jake leaned over and kissed her cheek. “You’d make an excellent mother.”
Her heart pitter-pattered, her ears ringing with a warning. God, this felt good, being beside him, having Amy’s head on her lap. The bond of love and trust wrapping around her. She felt like she was part of a family.
“You’d make an excellent father,” she said, smiling at him. Her skin quivered as he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. Warmth spread over and under her skin, settling in her belly and tingling through her toes.
He kissed her briefly on the mouth and they remained huddled together for a while, watching the storm pass, the rain mellow, the lightning ease.
“Stay here tonight?” Jake asked. When she hesitated, he continued. “You don’t even have to stay with me. I just don’t want you out on your bike tonight. What if it storms again?”
“It won’t take me ten minutes to get home.”
“That’s too long. It’s after midnight. The streets are wet.”
“I don’t have clothes. A toothbrush.”
“So leave in the morning before we head to the animal shelter.”
“What would Reagan and Garret think?”
Jake chuckled. “Probably about the same thing they’ve been thinking the last three weeks when I stayed at your place. Besides, they did the same thing before they married.”
“What about Amy?”
“We’ll be up long before her.”
Winona studied outside, into the darkness, and felt lost and forlorn, as if blackness was all her future held. She wanted to be here, with Jake, with Amy, but she knew it couldn’t last. Just like everything in her life.
Placing his fingers under her chin, he turned her face to his. “Would you stop pushing me away?”
“I’m not,” she said. But maybe she was. Maybe she should. He would leave eventually, in the next week, so why not prepare herself emotionally now?
“Yeah, you are. I say one thing about marriage and you tense up. There. You’re doing it again. I wasn’t even talking about us.”
Her tension had nothing to do with him speaking of marriage, but she took a deep breath and tried to relax her shoulders. Still, discomfort lingered in her belly. Her heart ached. A residing ache of “what ifs” and “never wills.” Jake was here for one reason only: Amy. He’d wanted to hire Winona, and now he didn’t need to. Now he’d go back home, and she didn’t plan on following. This was her home, and it’d taken her almost her whole life to find it.
Jake dropped his hands, but she didn’t turn away. Though it was too dark for their eyes to meet, her gaze held onto his shadow. “And what if I was talking about us?” he asked after a silence that leapt through the walls like the thunder.
“Oh, Jake, don’t be silly. We’re way too different to be talking about things like that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I spent my life running and searching, and now I’m ready to settle in one spot. You have way too many opportunities to tie yourself down in a relationship.”
“You can have a relationship without being tied down.”
“Oh, like having your cake and eating it, too?”
“That’s not what I meant. And I’m not asking for forever with you or anyone else. I’m just asking for right now.”
“And you have right now. Don’t make any more of it than it is.”
Jake’s chest rose and he blinked hard. Winona knew she was the one complicating things, imagining a perfect life with this man and his goddaughter. She was the one making more of it than it should have been. And she was pushing him away. He’d admitted his addiction to sex, and she’d laughed and said she expected exclusive but didn’t push him for more. Didn’t push him to commit.
“Yeah. Okay. Well, good night.” Jake kissed her on the cheek, but the kiss was mild and left a trail of condescension with its heat. He rose and left the room, shutting the door softly behind him.
• • •
Jake almost nuzzled her neck and begged her to stay, but he froze. No way. He wouldn’t beg. He loved her with Amy, appreciated everything she and her family had done for Amy, but he couldn’t promise to settle or be here through the thick and thin of life. Not that she was asking.
He tried to convince her he’d never hurt her or leave her or take her for granted, but how could anyone predict the future? He’d done that before, and everything had come crashing down on him.
He stood and walked out the door without glanci
ng back. Amy was still in Winona’s lap, but she could shift Amy aside and sleep with her, or go home. It was her choice, and he wasn’t going to convince her otherwise.
Before Brandon’s death, his relationships with women had been flighty and shallow. He was too busy focusing his future on being the best triathlete he could be, and staying sober. Which wasn’t hard to do when he was training. But now he realized even with Brandon and Amy—he was lonely.
His parents had died young, but they’d died together and they’d died in love. He always hoped for the same. Well, not to die young, but to find a love as strong as theirs had been. That was why it’d been so tough to lose them, and why he’d covered his pain and grief with drugs and alcohol.
Their love for him and for each other was something most kids and most adults would never have a chance to experience. He felt sorry for those people. People like Winona, who had been abandoned to an orphanage, only now she was beginning to feel like part of a family with her brother and her brother’s family. Still, she had so much love in her heart. Enough love to go searching for a brother who may or may not want anything to do with her. Enough love to accept a man and a child into her heart and her life, all the while knowing she might lose them in the end.
Even if he never found the right woman, he would always have the memory of his parents’ love to fall back on. And Brandon’s love. And Amy.
And Winona.
He’d been so driven in life after his stupor that he never felt like he reached completion no matter what he did. He might win a meet, but he never felt good enough no matter how hard he tried. He might have a lot of friends and be able to open up to people, but he never allowed himself to feel this deep-seated fear of rejection.
Amy’s time here was fleeting, but his didn’t have to be. Winona was obviously scared of falling hard just as he was, but he didn’t want to push her. Her experiences were that love didn’t last. His experiences were that love could last if you found the right person.
After losing his parents, he never, ever thought he’d find the right person. He’d been searching for a patch to mend his broken heart, and it had come in the form of drugs, alcohol, women, and sports. Nothing had healed him like his sport had but he knew, from his relationship with his parents, the right woman could keep him sewn.
And that scared him. He didn’t—wouldn’t—depend on a woman to make him happy, but he’d like a woman to complete him. That was how his dad had explained his love for Jake’s mother, and what Jake had been searching for ever since. Winona completed him in a way no one ever had before.
He took a shower in the bedroom, grateful it had its own private bathroom so he could soak away his sorrows in privacy. Toweling off, he pulled on a pair of loose shorts and slipped into bed.
He jumped when the door opened with a click. He spotted Winona’s silhouette in the shadows of the hallway light before she shut the door. His heart pounded. His body immediately hardened.
The nightlight he’d kept on offered just enough light for him to see her disrobe. She slipped into bed beside him and put her arm over his chest and her head in the crook of his neck.
He shifted to face her. She moved aside to accommodate him. His lips met hers in an urgent need to take all that she would give. Their tongues tangled, breaths meshed, and as he made love to her and she responded to him, he recognized his feelings for this woman went way beyond lust.
She could be his final mend. Or, worse, his final end.
• • •
When Winona woke the next morning, Jake wasn’t in bed. She stretched and listened to the voices in the kitchen. She couldn’t make out the words, but it sounded like everyone was up but her.
She quickly showered and dressed, brushing her teeth as best she could with her finger. She’d have to go home before she did anything today, but coffee was the first thing on her agenda.
She found Jake and Amy in the kitchen, and Garret and Reagan at the kitchen table, watching the two prepare pancakes. With a small skillet in hand, Amy tossed and flipped a pancake.
“I did it!”
“Great job,” Jake said. Amy stood on a chair at the stove, Jake beside her.
“I can’t even do that,” Winona said as she shuffled to the coffee pot and poured herself a cup. “Morning, everyone.”
“Morning.” She caught Reagan’s eye and smiled, wondering when they’d discovered she’d stayed the night. Neither acted strangely.
“There’s cream and sugar by the coffee, or half-and-half in the fridge.”
“No, thanks. Black’s good. You investigate cases for a living and learn to like whatever coffee can be found.”
“Which is why I enjoy every bit of cream and sugar I can,” Garret said.
“I did it again,” Amy exclaimed, and Winona returned her attention to the stove. “There’s a few pancakes ready, guys,” she said, all adult like. “And fresh blueberries and strawberries if you want.”
Once all the pancakes were done, everyone sat together at the table to enjoy their meal.
“These are excellent, Amy,” Winona said.
Amy beamed. “Thanks. The mix is all homemade. Jake helped, of course.”
Dishes clashed and rattled as they ate breakfast, drank coffee, and discussed the day’s events.
“You wanna help me find a kitty to adopt?” Winona asked Amy after breakfast.
“Yes! Yes! Let’s go!”
“I want a cat, too,” Reagan said.
“And I want a dog,” Garret added.
“Yay!” Amy clapped her hands and performed a dance-jump. “Two kitties!”
Winona arched her brow, but didn’t bother mentioning it wouldn’t do to get a cat or a dog if Reagan was still planning on leaving. Now was not the time to broach the subject.
Winona ran home to brush her teeth and change. Jake and Amy came to pick her up and they met Garret and Reagan at the shelter.
Winona greeted Marybeth, the owner of the shelter, with a hug. “We’re here to adopt a couple of cats.”
“Wonderful. We have so many. I’m afraid we’re going to have to put some down.”
“No. You can’t do that.”
“We’re running out of funding. No one contributes anymore. No one volunteers anymore. And people are abandoning more and more animals these days.”
“We need to do something to make people more aware,” Winona said.
“I’m working on it. Mainly, it’s a funding problem. It’s so expensive running the place, keeping the electricity on, making sure we have the food we need.”
“We’ll talk about this later,” Winona said when Amy started pulling on her arm. “I want to do something to help.”
Winona took Amy to the cat room while Jake stayed behind. Jealousy slithered through her as she watched him with Marybeth. She would turn forty this year, and her cocoa-colored eyes and warm smile made everyone else around her feel dull.
“They’re all in cages,” Amy said, returning Winona to the matter at hand.
“Yes. Shelter kitties have to live in cages. We take them out to play with them, but this is where they have to stay.”
“That’s so sad.”
“It is sad. That’s why it’s so important to adopt only when you know you’re ready to take on the responsibility and never let them go. They become a part of your family. And that’s why it’s so important to make sure they are fixed so they can’t have more kittens.”
Amy’s face scrunched, as if she was trying to understand. And because Winona didn’t think she needed to understand, she opened the first cage.
“This is Snowbound. She’s the kitty I’m considering adopting.” Winona lifted the dirty white cat from the cage and handed her to Amy. She knew Amy was safe. Snowbound was four years old and looked like a brown cat dusted with snow, hence the name. She was older, which meant she was harder to adopt, and she’d lived in the shelter awhile. She’d been declawed by her previous owners, and Winona would like to declaw the owners who’d put her through
that kind of abuse. Didn’t they realize those claws were the cat’s defense mechanism should she ever get cornered or attacked? Didn’t they understand if a cat had plenty of scratch posts, she wouldn’t tear their furniture?
“She’s precious.” Amy cuddled Snowbound one last time before handing her to Winona. “But I want to see the kittens.”
Reagan cooed over two kittens who were inseparable, and finally decided to adopt both brother and sister.
Still holding Snowbound, Winona pulled her aside. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“Yes. Why wouldn’t it be?”
Winona glanced at Garret to make sure he wasn’t in hearing range, but he’d found the dogs in the other room. Jake was still talking to Marybeth and Amy was enthralled with peering through the cages. “Well, if you decide to leave.”
Reagan’s face fell. “It’d be stupid to leave the man I love and who loves me just because of a job. We had a good talk last night and I told him how I felt. Admitted how close to leaving I’d come. But I told him I’d support him in anything he decided to do, as long as he was honest with me about it.”
“That’s easy to say now. But what if he does decide to take the job?”
“We talked a lot about it, and I feel better about it. We’ll talk more, should he make that decision, but it’s not like he’s taking on the job of police chief in a huge town.”
Jake joined them and settled his hand on Winona’s back. “Did you find a cat?”
“Yes, this is Snowbound. She’ll let me hold her for hours. Where have you been? Did you get Marybeth’s number? Because I have it if you don’t.” She couldn’t keep the jealous twinge from her voice.
“Why do I need her number?”
“For a date.”
Jake chuckled as he petted Snowbound. “We were talking business.”
“Business?”
“Just ways to help the shelter.”
Marybeth approached with a gleam in her eye and they all checked out with their animals, including a dog for Garret. Marybeth was giddy with excitement the whole time. Her mood had taken a one-hundred-and-eighty-degree turn after her conversation with Jake. As Jake walked with Amy outside, carrying a box of food, Winona stayed behind.
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