by Virlyce
Barbeque! Clean! Mini-Map! Barrier! Why isn’t anything working!? Stupid fraudulent sellers! I’ll destroy that town, just you wait! But first, I’ll send a hateful message to Liana for selling me broken goods and then dismantle all of this crap by hand. So much blood and gore and intestines and gross smells. Oh wells. And I can’t even have a feast since barbeque isn’t working. My life is tragic.
Take out the core, carve some runes, set aside the hides and pelts. Throw the meat in a pile to act as bait for more beasts and pray nothing too dangerous comes out to kill me. I wonder how normal mercenaries do this work. It can’t be that all of them have interspacial rings that let them carry things around, right? That thing costs 10,000 gold after all. You could buy a mansion in the capital for that much! Maybe they just don’t hunt as many as I do in one go. Yeah, that must be it.
Ding!
Oh, Liana responded? Let’s see, how do I, oh, there we go. Her handwriting’s super neat! Too bad I can’t read! Thankfully, there’s an audio playback function.
Dear Lucia Fluffytail,
I’ve sent out people to apprehend the salesmen of the magic tools, but if they really were scammers, then the possibility of finding them will be low. But, with all due respect, I don’t think anyone would sell a fake ring for a single gold. Perhaps it’s been a while since you’ve used magic tools and forgot to tell your apprentice the rules? I’ve sent you them, so you can easily copy and send them to your apprentice.
1. Every tool can only be used a certain number of times per day.
2. Breaking rule 1 in any way will decrease the durability of the item: this includes sending your own mana into it, replenishing it with beast cores.
3. All magic tools share the same mana around you. If multiple tools are used in the same vicinity, the mana will be used up. This is also why beast cores are necessary for magical warfare.
4. If the array inside of the tool is tampered with, the tool may explode. Be wary.
Sincerely,
Liana Noctis
Hm. Maybe I don’t have to destroy Wilderness Town. At least the rules are helpful; why didn’t Snow tell me about them? And it seems like Liana still thinks I’m a fourth-circle magician. I’m never going to correct that misunderstanding. Anyways, there’s only like four dozen more beasts to dismember….
Three dozen….
Two dozen….
One dozen….
Half a…, oh god. It’s the ferocious monkeys that suspiciously look like humans. Do I…, do I dismantle them too? They’re a rare breed of spirit beasts, right…? I’ve dismantled all the beasts so far, it’d be a waste to dispose of these. After all, they aren’t human. Yeah. If I don’t dismantle them, then that’s admitting they were humans and not beasts. I’m not a murderer. They’re already half torn apart anyway. You can do this, Lucia! Sing a song—sing a happy song. A nice cheerful tune to distract yourself as you check their brains for beast cores.
“Food is great. Food is tasty.
I like my bread, nice and pasty.
Porridge is bland. Peppers are sweet.
But my favorite … is a cut of meat!”
All done! And there were no beast cores, but that’s perfectly normal! Not all spirit beasts have beast cores! These ferocious monkeys were not humans, not humans at all!
“Oh my god.”
Eh!? Who!? Someone snuck up on me? I must’ve been too distracted by the dismantling process. It’s a shirtless human and a wolf-headed man…? The human looks a little familiar….
9
“Oh my god.”
Those were the first words out of my mouth when I saw Durandal’s new master. After a year of tracking Durandal down with Gae Bulg’s sometimes faulty sense of smell, cutting down dozens upon dozens of ferocious beasts, and living a lifestyle more suited to a vagrant than a prince, we finally caught up to the culprit who allegedly caused Bryant’s death and claimed Durandal as his, no, her own. A beastkin with docile traits. How did she manage to overpower Bryant and his entourage to claim Durandal? I’d understand if she were a lion or a wolf or even a crow, but a squirrel? And what was she doing? Dismembering a group of mercenaries while singing a song about food?
“…You look familiar. Have I met you before?” The beastkin lowered the skull that was in her hands and placed it on the ground. Half of a rune was engraved on it. A rune of focus, perhaps?
“Lan.” Gae Bulg’s rough voice drew my attention away from the macabre sight of the squirrelkin girl covered in blood and gore. “The sword in her hand. It’s Durandal’s weapon body.”
The squirrelkin girl’s tail stiffened. No, her whole body stiffened. She slowly stood up and brushed aside the dead mercenaries with the sword in her hand. “Who are you?”
“I am Lan Ravenwood. I believe you killed my brother.” It seems like a fight is inevitable. I didn’t want to clash with Durandal’s new owner, but she doesn’t seem like the type of person to communicate through words. Her body’s drenched in blood, and there are corpses by her feet. I don’t have to be paranoid to know she’s going to try to kill me as well, especially since Gae Bulg mentioned Durandal’s name.
“Lan Ravenwood? Your brother? I have no idea what you’re talking about. None at all. Nope.” The squirrelkin girl shook her head repeatedly. “I think you have the wrong person. And what was that bit about Durandal? This sword? This is just a cheap iron sword I bought from a street vendor in Wilderness Town. If this were Durandal, the legendary sword of the Godking, would I be using it to dismantle spirit beasts?”
Oi. Spirit beasts? You’re not dismantling spirit beasts at all. “Those are humans.”
“Huh? These things?” The squirrelkin girl bent over and picked up the skull she was engraving. “This is a spirit beast. Well, it was a spirit beast. It’s just a corpse now.”
Was she serious? Delusional? Or did she think I was a fool? “What kind of spirit beasts are those? I’ve never seen any with a skeletal structure like that.”
“A super-duper rare species of monkey! They imitate humans, but they’re actually beasts in disguise!” The squirrelkin girl nodded her head. “It’s very dangerous in the southern pass. There’s even crows that pretend to be human to lure you to your death.”
That was true. The first time I heard one of those crows speak, I really thought a little girl was dying. “Then … disregarding the spirit beasts.” I glanced at Gae Bulg. His eyes were red and saliva dripped from his partially open mouth. “Are you sure that’s Durandal?”
“I will never forget his scent,” Gae Bulg said and reached into his bag. He opened his mouth wide and roared in a voice I never heard from him before. “Durandal! Come out here and face me like a man! I demand a rematch!”
The squirrelkin girl and Gae Bulg stared at each other. The squirrelkin girl cleared her throat and asked me, “Is your companion right in the head? I know wolfkin men are a bit challenged up there”—she pointed at her skull—“but isn’t it obvious that there’s no one else here?”
I frowned at her. “Roland’s Authentic Ice Cream Shop.”
The squirrelkin girl flinched.
“So it really was you.” As I thought. Gae Bulg’s nose was on point. She was trying to deceive us.
“N-no. I have no idea what you’re talking about. I only flinched because you spoke in a really intimidating manner!”
“With the authority bestowed to me by the king, I, Lan Ravenwood, declare you a criminal and put you under arrest!” I can’t believe she had me fooled even if it was for a brief moment. I’m embarrassed. How can I proclaim to be paranoid if I almost trust the words of a stranger no matter how persuasive they are? “Gae! Help me subdue her.”
“Don’t underestimate me! I, Snow Flopsy, will never yield to the likes of you!” the squirrelkin girl shouted out her name before dashing towards us. “Breaking Blaaaaade!”
Weak! A spear will always beat a sword! It’s a simple matter of distance and force! “Path of the Spear: Piercing Thrust!” I concentrated my qi i
nto the tip of my spear and followed the blue trajectory painted out in front of my eyes. There was no way I was going to lose to a beastkin as a mid-ranked spirit warrior! I’ll pretend to aim for the tip of her sword and dive down to pierce her thigh. Even the most skilled generals can’t evade my feints! “Huh?”
Snow Flopsy used her sword tip to follow my spear, positioning her blade in front of her leg. How sharp was her dynamic vision? But that didn’t matter. “Pierce through, Gae Bulg!” Even if her blade is blocking my spear from stabbing her leg, she has no leverage to stop my force. My spearhead struck the side of her blade and pierced…, eh, stopped? She blocked my strike?
The muscles on the squirrelkin girl’s arm bulged as veins popped up on the surface of her skin. She gritted her teeth. “Ten, ton, swing!”
I held onto my spear and pushed against her blade as she lifted her arms, but it didn’t do anything. I was lifted off the ground and blown backwards. Her sword didn’t touch me, but the pressure against my spear and the resulting gust of air managed to throw me above the surrounding treetops.
“Lan!” Gae Bulg shouted from down below, but he faded into mist as his spirit body left the allowable range of his weapon body. How far was I going to be launched? Snow Flopsy…, I’ll remember this.
***
Run away! I almost lost my leg there! If it weren’t for the fact that Durandal fought me with a spear in all our spars, I probably wouldn’t have been able to react to that strike. Durandal’s foresight is amazing. I wonder how I’d fare against a sword user…. Anyways, it seems like I’ve finally been tracked down. And by the sixth prince, the man known as the training freak. Why the heck did he leave the palace? I thought he was one of those people who never left their rooms except to eat and use the bathroom. I’ve only heard rumors about him from the army members. On the days the generals had to spar against him, they always had a bad mood afterwards when commanding the army, which, of course, led to bad moods from everyone all around. It’s all his fault I suffered in the army! I should beat him up! …But he has a spirit weapon, and Durandal’s out of commission. Fine. Guess I’ll just have to keep running. And I forgot to gather those super-rare corpses of the not humans before I left. Oops.
But this is a really big problem, isn’t it? If the prince is chasing me, the royal family has to know about Durandal’s existence. Gah! Stupid Snow! Why’d you have to betray me at a time like this!? Couldn’t you have waited, you bastard? I have to get stronger, a lot stronger if I want to survive. I’m lucky it was the sixth prince that chased after me and not the others. I’ve heard the first prince is a sixth-circle magician, which would’ve been a lot harder to deal with than Lan. I guess Lan and I are pretty similar, huh?
“Snow. Flopsy! Get back here!”
Gah! Didn’t I launch him really far away!? How did he catch up so quickly? Haste! …Darn. My magic tools still aren’t working. How much of the surrounding mana did I use up while dismantling those bodies?
“Gae! Chase her down!”
Large crashing noises came from behind me. Eep! Run faster, legs, run faster! Let’s use a bone engraved with speed while I’m at it. I almost forgot I had these. Maybe I should continue wearing them around my body so I never forget. A large boulder flew past my head and crashed into a tree, breaking the trunk and causing it to topple over. What the heck!? If that hit my head, I definitely would’ve died. I peeked behind myself and saw a rabid wolfkin lunging after me on all fours. “Gah! Breaking Blade!”
The lunging wolfkin collided against my sword with the spear he held in his mouth. How strong are his jaws? Isn’t that a bit too excessive? His eyes widen as a shockwave rippled outwards, blowing away the dirt and pebbles by my feet. Then, he flew into the air much like Lan had when I struck his spear.
“Gae! Return!” The wolfkin’s body disappeared mid-flight as Lan continued to run after me. Why was a human so fast? He was almost as fast as me! But I suppose princes get all the resources required to raise them. While I only started to use beast cores when I obtained Durandal, the sixth prince was probably eating them right out of the womb. That’s not fair. “Gae! Chase her down!”
Doesn’t he get tired of repeating the same commands? Jeez. The wolfkin sprung out of his spear and lunged towards me again like a hound chasing a hare. “Breaking Blade!”
Our weapons collided once again and he was launched—“Gae! Return! Gae! Chase her down!”—and instantly lunged at me again. What the hell is this infinite respawn cheat!?
Try respawning after I break your face! “Breaking Blade!” I avoided the wolfkin’s spear and struck towards his ugly mug. He turned his head away and my blade collided with the shaft of the spear in his mouth. This time, my sword cut deep into his shoulder after forcing his spear back. Suck it! That should definitely slow his respawn time.
“Path of the Spear: 1,000 Talons!”
Gah! Lan caught up while I was dealing with his stupid spirit! My vision was filled with hundreds of spearheads flying towards me, each one attacking from a different angle. Durandal’s training never prepared me for this! “Barrier!”
…And there was still no mana in the vicinity to use my magical bracelet. I’m throwing these stupid dismantling and barbequing rings away! I did my best to block the strikes while retreating, lowering mini-DalDal’s weight to maneuver it as fast as possible, but dozens of cuts appeared on my skin and dress. Dammit! I liked this dress too. At least I’m able to keep my vital spots safe. Durandal drilled protecting my organs and joints into me through lots of pain and head pats. I can’t disappoint him!
Lan’s expression turned fierce like a constipated tiger as he stopped his attacks. “Path of the Spear: Mirage Thrusts!” His spear disappeared and reappeared in front of my face.
“Not the face!” I barely managed to avoid it while shouting. What kind of prince was he!? Doesn’t he know a woman’s most important part is her face!? This bastard…. I didn’t even do anything to you except kill your brother! …Which is pretty bad I guess, but it was totally Durandal’s fault. Speaking of Durandal, can he please deus ex machina and save my ass sometime soon?
No.
Dammit, Durandal! Don’t answer me when you’re supposed to be asleep! What other attacks do I have? “Flying Qi Blade!” I fired a blade of qi towards Lan, but his weapon spirit lunged forward and absorbed it with his chest. A bloody line appeared. His shoulder hadn’t even recovered, but he didn’t seem hurt at all. The wolfkin’s eyes were red and staring at me and—gah! Another invisible spear to the face! “W-wait, dammit! What do you want from me!?”
“Stop resisting arrest!” Lan shouted and stabbed another vanishing spear strike at me.
Arrest!? You’re trying to kill me! “I’m resisting my death!”
“Then die peacefully!”
Fuck. My shoulder. Why did he aim there when the last three strikes were at my face? A hole in my shoulder dripped blood as my left arm went limp. The wolfkin lunged at me, stabbing his spear towards my chest. I barely managed to block it with mini-DalDal, raising its weight to my limit of 13 tons. The wolfkin bounced off the sword, but he also knocked me off my feet. Damn. This isn’t good. This isn’t good at all. Consume a bone of strength to recover!
Oddly enough, Lan didn’t stop me from using a consumable. Instead, he ran over to his weapon spirit and poured a red liquid onto the spirit’s wounds. …Well, I guess I’m not the only one with recovery items. “Can we, uh, talk about this?”
“I don’t trust savages!” Lan’s voice rose as he thrust forward with his spear. Kuh, why is his range so much longer than mine? It’s not fair at all. I can’t win if I can’t hurt him…. Then I just have to get close?
Dammit. I really didn’t want to do this. “Unrelenting Path of Slaughter!”
***
“Unrelenting Path of Slaughter!” Snow Flopsy shouted and raised her sword into the air. She was actually a spirit warrior? It did make sense considering Bryant was a high-ranked warrior. But judging by the usage of her path,
she was only a low-ranked spirit warrior at most. She hadn’t incorporated any of her techniques with it, but it was a bit unnerving an unknown beastkin had a prefix attached to her path. Even I didn’t have one.
“Lan, be careful,” Gae Bulg said as he took the spear out of his mouth and stood up on two legs. Though he didn’t show it, he must’ve been sore from the repeated unsummoning and summoning. But it was worth it to catch up to the prey. “She’s extremely strong. I think her body may be a divine one.” Gea Bulg’s hackles were raised, but his eyes were clear. How strong was she? It took a lot to smack Gae Bulg out of his berserk state.
The squirrelkin girl’s expression turned from one filled with desperation to a calm one. Her eyes became completely white as she exhaled, lifting her sword. Her posture, which was slouched over before, relaxed even further as her knees and elbows bent while she leaned forward. Why was I giving her time to adjust to her path? Strike while the iron is hot! “Path of the Spear: Lightning Stab!”
Lightning Stab, my fastest long-ranged attack, combined with Gae Bulg’s harassment from the side, I don’t believe she can defend herself from this—path or not! But she didn’t even try to defend. Snow Flopsy charged forwards with no regard to her life, narrowly evading my spear qi. The tip cut off some of her hairs as it brushed by her head, but her expression remained unchanged. Gae Bulg moved in front of her way and thrust his spear downwards, aiming at her abdomen. She didn’t flinch as the spear pierced through her stomach, and she exchanged blows with Gae Bulg, swinging her sword diagonally upwards, cutting off Gae’s left arm and head.
“Gae!” My weapon spirit dissolved into mist before flowing back into the shaft of my spear. He wouldn’t die from something like that, but he’d be out of commission for at least a month—most likely more. How dare she! “I’ll kill you!” Since Gae disappeared, his spear embedded in Snow’s stomach had disappeared as well, but there was no way she was fine after taking a blow like that. Gae gave up a month of his time for my victory, I won’t let him down.
