by Virlyce
“When the banquet’s over, can you tell me about your past?”
“Huh?” Lucia stared at me. “It’s not that exciting, but okay.”
My father’s voice rang out before I could speak. “And now, if you’d so kindly turn your attention towards the stage. I’d like to introduce you to the youngest fifth-circle magician in history, my daughter, Ilya!”
I took in a deep breath and held my head high while Lucia took a few steps back and whispered, “Relax, if anyone makes fun of you today, I’ll beat them up for you.” With those reassuring words behind me, the curtains rose.
***
Wow. That’s a lot more people than what I was expecting. The whole dining room is filled and I already elaborated on huge it was before, so I won’t do it again. Most likely all the servants are working right now because there’s no way the usual number can service this many people. It’s almost like being in the streets of the capital again. Oh, and they’re all staring at me. Why me!? It’s Ilya’s birthday; stare at her!
“Good evening, everyone,” Ilya said and curtsied. Wasn’t she supposed to be nervous? She’s really good at hiding it. “I’d like to thank you all for attending my birthday banquet.”
Why am I up here again? Ilya said it was to prevent assassins from targeting her or something along those lines. Then, I guess, that makes me a bodyguard. An underpaid one, that is. Why do I feel like I’m a slave to nobles again? Hmm. Well, Ilya doesn’t treat me like a slave at all, so it doesn’t matter. What are we anyways? Traveling companions? Friends? Is this what friends do? I’ve never had any before, so I wouldn’t know. I thought Snow was a friend, but that bastard poisoned me. Ah, like I thought, the path of a genius is a lonely one.
“Aren’t you going to introduce the esteemed guest behind you?” Ilya’s dad asked. He was holding something in front of his mouth that caused his voice to echo through the whole room without shouting. I wonder how it works. Magic? It would’ve been so much easier to sell those penises if I had one of those things.
Ilya glanced at me, her brow crinkling for a second. Her expression returned back to normal as she faced the crowd. “This is Lucia Fluffytail. For the Godking’s Brawl, she will be representing the Pentorn family. She is also my good friend, so please treat her as you would treat me.”
“My lord, she’s a masochist,” a voice whispered from my socks.
“Shut up, Puppers. No one cares about your opinion.” I made sure to whisper so no one in the crowd could hear me. I wonder if Ilya thinks of me as her friend or if she’s just saying that. Then again, I did save her life, so she should have a positive impression of me. And I feed her! I tried to give her lots of head pats and teach her tricks too, but she gets offended when I do that, so I stopped.
“Lucia,” Ilya whispered. “Say something to the crowd.”
Great, everyone’s staring at me again. What do I say? I was never taught any noble etiquette. Ilya, help!
“Say it’s my honor to be here tonight,” Ilya whispered.
Thanks for the help, but don’t read my mind! “It’s my honor to be here tonight.”
“And lower your head,” Ilya whispered.
I lowered my head. Ilya’s dad clapped, and a round of applause soon followed. “Let the banquet begin,” Ilya’s dad said and walked towards an empty table. He gestured for Ilya and me to follow after him. The center of the dining room was left empty with the tables close to the walls. Servants strode through the doors on either side of the dining room, bringing in trays with glasses and bowls.
I took the seat next to Ilya, who sat beside her father. It was a round table with twelve chairs, and the other nine chairs were occupied by demons wearing purple clothes. …Their fashion sense sucks. Their skin is purple, but they’re wearing the same exact shade of purple for their clothes? I almost thought they were nude.
“Welcome, Your Majesty,” Ilya’s father said to the man sitting beside him. So the naked-but-not-really man with wisps of white hair was the emperor. Interesting. Huh? You’re wondering why I’m not scared of him? Obviously, it’s because I’m not a demon. I don’t have to abide by his laws. …That’s how diplomacy works, right? Yeah, I’m positive that’s how it works; if I’m not his subject, I don’t have to respect him.
“Duke Pentorn,” the emperor nodded at Ilya’s dad. His attention turned towards Ilya, and he smiled at her. “So this is your daughter.” His eyes narrowed before widening. “She really is a fifth-circle magician.”
“Greetings, Your Majesty,” Ilya said and lowered her head, staring at the empty space on the table where her plate should’ve been. Why aren’t there any plates? Wasn’t this supposed to be a place with a lot of food?
“Mm,” the emperor nodded and Ilya raised her head. The emperor put his hand on the shoulder of the demon sitting next to him. “I presume you already know who this is? Daniel, I think you’ll get along well with Ilya, don’t you think?”
This person? He looks older than me! Then again, everyone looks older than me because I’m super-duper young. Mhm. Ilya nodded at Daniel. “Greetings, First Prince.”
“Miss Pentorn,” Daniel said and nodded back. His red eyes shifted and stared at me. What kind of look is that? You want to fight, old man? I’ll take you on any day!
Someone tugged on my sleeve. “Please don’t growl at him,” Ilya whispered to me. Was I growling? I didn’t even notice.
“I’m unable to sense any magical fluctuations from you, Miss Fluffytail,” Daniel said. “Could it be your attainments in magic are higher than mine? No wonder why the duke has chosen you to represent his family.”
Mm. Misunderstandings are the best understandings especially when it comes to people overestimating me. “That’s right. I bet I could teach you a thing or two.”
Daniel smiled while Ilya’s expression paled. “Please,” Daniel said and stood up while cupping his hands. “It’s always an honor to receive the guidance of an elder.”
Huh? Ow! Why did Ilya pinch me?
“You just offered to have a magical duel with him. He’s a seventh-circle magician,” Ilya whispered and bit her lower lip.
…Why did I act so arrogantly a few seconds ago?
“Oh, Lucia, please demonstrate your skills,” Ilya’s dad said, his eyes twinkling. “In magic.”
Damn it, old man! You’re just upset I beat you in a duel!
“Go on, what are you waiting for?” Ilya’s dad said and gestured towards the center of the dining room. “Usually the demonstrations are reserved for after the meal, but I’m sure no one would mind one match before.”
“Father…,” Ilya said. “I think—”
Wait! I still have Rogath’s ribbon with his four skills inside of it. I’ll just use that and make it quick. “It’s fine, Ilya.” I patted her head to stop her from speaking and gave her a thumbs up. “I got this.”
“Ladies and gentlemen!” Ilya’s dad said through his magical talking device. I followed after Daniel to the center of the dining room. “It’s a bit early, but these two couldn’t wait to begin the demonstrations! The meal will proceed after the conclusion of this duel.”
I stood opposite of the first prince. “What are the rules?”
“The loser surrenders,” Daniel said. “Please, take it easy on me.”
“The two contenders are the first prince and Lucia! Please don’t destroy my dining room again, Lucia. Ready, set, begin!”
I raised my hand and pointed at Daniel and shouted before he could react, “Topsy-Turvy, Upsy-Daisy, Twisty-Turny, Wishy-Washy!” The ribbon attached to my tail nearly scorched my butt from the heat that came off of it, but thankfully, nothing caught fire.
Daniel’s eyes widened and rolled up to the top of his head. Then he fell backwards like a log and started frothing from his mouth. …Was that supposed to happen? That didn’t happen to me when Rogath did it…. Maybe if I tiptoe away, no one will notice. …And everyone’s staring at me. Well, this is awkward. “So, uh, did I win?”
No one answered.
***
In complete silence, Lucia squatted next to the first prince, heaved him over her shoulder, and walked back to us. She pulled out the seat beside the emperor and placed Daniel onto the chair before dusting off his suit. The prince’s head lolled to the side with froth still leaking out of his mouth and dripping onto the floor. Lucia nodded and dusted her hands off before sitting beside me and smiling sweetly at the emperor. Then she turned her gaze towards me. “Can we start eating yet?”
I turned towards my father, who turned towards the emperor, who turned towards his son. I hope the first prince doesn’t turn into an imbecile. I forgot Lucia had my teacher’s spells stored inside her ribbon, and I didn’t expect her to use all four of them at once. Topsy-Turvy scrambles the target’s senses. Upsy-Daisy randomly changes the force of gravity on different parts of the target’s body. Twisty-Turny temporarily rewires the target’s nerves, ruining their motor functions. And Wishy-Washy reverses the flow of qi and mana in the target’s body. A combination of all four is enough to fry someone’s brain, turning them into a vegetable with no hope of recovery. That’s actually why Teacher Rogath can own such a massive property without having a noble title; no one wants to provoke him lest they live a life worse than death.
“Will he be alright?” the emperor asked Lucia.
Lucia nodded. “Definitely! They were four harmless spells anyways. They’re just minor inconveniences.”
Right, Lucia almost had the same exact thing done to her. Maybe she wasn’t as badly affected by the spells because there isn’t anything in her head to target.
“Minor inconveniences…,” the emperor muttered and looked at his son again. He closed his eyes and shook his head before sighing. He met my father’s gaze. “The banquet may begin.”
My father cleared his throat, breaking the unnatural silence pervading the room. “Wasn’t that quite unexpected? Sorry for the delay; the banquet will now proceed.” As soon as my father finished speaking, the servants bustled and passed out plates along with glasses and bottles.
The old butler, Matthew, was servicing our table. “Is there anything you’d like to drink, Your Majesty,” he said and bowed at the emperor while keeping the tray in his left hand perfectly steady. “A cocktail or a glass of wine, perhaps?”
“The wine,” the emperor said. The rest of the royal family echoed his choice, and their drinks were served.
“I’ll also have a glass of wine,” my father said. He rarely drank, but it would’ve been rude of him to not accompany the emperor’s choice. Oh, I should tell Lucia to get the wine too; she has no idea how etiquette works.
“Lucia—”
“Hot chocolate!” Lucia said, her eyes round and bright and practically shining at Matthew. The butler gave her a wry smile before taking out a steaming mug of hot chocolate from an interspacial ring. Evidently, Lucia had gotten along really well with him in the kitchen over the past few weeks. “Thanks!” She looked at me, her tail twitching back and forth. “Were you saying something?”
“No, it’s nothing.” Well, too late to salvage that. “I’ll have a glass of wine as well.”
“Half a glass,” my father said to Matthew.
So I’m old enough to be considered for marriage, but not old enough to drink a glass of alcohol? How does that even make sense? Even the youngest princess has a glass of wine.
“I’m curious, Lucia,” the emperor said from across the table. Lucia’s tail perked up, her face still attached to her mug of chocolate. “Where did you learn those spells? And to be able to cast them all instantaneously with a simple incantation, your attainment in magic must be high indeed.”
“I got them from Rogath, the old drunkard,” Lucia said. Is that how she thinks of Teacher? Well, it is accurate, I must say. He’s drunk more often than not.
“As I suspected,” the emperor said with a nod. “Is he here today?”
Lucia looked at me, clearly indicating she wanted me to answer. So I did. “Teacher is in the middle of a crucial experiment right now, and he wasn’t able to attend.” That’s a lie. Teacher was actually just too lazy to come, and he doesn’t get along well with nobles. He calls them prudish twits with paper livers.
“How unfortunate,” the emperor said without any sincerity. He smiled at Lucia. Was he hoping to rope her into his faction? “How come I’ve never heard of you before? If you don’t mind me asking, how many circles have you established?”
I sipped on my glass and waited for Lucia’s answer. But it didn’t come. Lucia? …And she wasn’t paying attention. Her head was facing away from me, staring at the steaming tray of food a servant was carrying over. I pinched her tail, causing her to flinch. “Huh!?”
The emperor’s gaze seemed to pierce through Lucia as her head whipped from side to side. He cleared his throat, attracting Lucia’s attention. “How come I’ve never”—Lucia tilted her head up and sniffed the air before turning back towards the approaching tray—“of you before…?”
“My apologies,” I said. If I didn’t say anything, I think the emperor would have her executed for not showing proper manners. “Lucia tends to get easily distracted. It’s a side effect of being her.”
“I see…,” the emperor said and turned his gaze back onto Lucia. She wasn’t paying attention to us at all. What was even being served for dinner? Is that … divine beast meat? There’s no way my father could’ve afforded enough for all the guests. If anything, it should just be limited to this table. As for the divine beast corpses Lucia and I had gathered during our time in the desolate mountains…, we already ate them all.
“This is the meat of a divine three-headed snake,” my father said as the tray was placed in the center of the table. It filled up the majority of the space, not leaving any room for anything else.
“Where did you get it?” the emperor asked. His eyes flashed as Lucia’s utensils struck the meat like lightning, taking a massive chunk for herself.
“Lucia brought it,” my father said.
“Huh?” Lucia asked through a mouth full of meat. “Me?”
“Right,” my father said with a nod. “I replaced the one in your interspacial ring. Just think of it as rental fees.” He beamed at Lucia, who started making strange clicking noises.
“Scoot over, Ilya,” Lucia said. “I’m going to smack him.”
I firmly approve of Lucia’s decision. This snake was ours—yes, I’m taking credit even though Lucia was the one that killed it. I knew that snake we ate a week ago wasn’t as tasty as a divine beast should’ve been. I moved my seat back, making space for Lucia to lean over and reach my father.
“Ow! Not in front of all these people, please!”
***
Ilya’s dad is a thief! He stole my divine beast corpse and replaced it with, with…, I’m not sure what he replaced it with. How did he even find my interspacial ring? That’s the biggest issue! I hide my rings in a very personal place. That pervert. How did he raise someone like Ilya? She’s so much easier to get along with, jeez.
“Is that true, Lucia?” the emperor asked. “You killed this divine beast?”
“That’s right. It’s mine.” Back off! This whole thing belongs to me. I risked my life for this; well, not really because it was kind of weak. But still!
“Please, feel free to dig in,” Ilya’s dad said through swollen cheeks. “A dish made out of a divine beast is the only meal appropriate to serve at my daughter’s birthday banquet.”
The emperor and the rest of the royal family, except Daniel, turned to stare at me. …Were they asking for permission? Gah! Don’t poke me, Ilya. And stop looking at me like that. Fine, okay? “Yeah, sure. Dig in.”
After I said that, they pounced on the dead snake like hungry demons. …No one said I was good at similes, okay? I’m a warrior, not a bard. Ilya did say divine beasts weren’t that easy to obtain because they were expensive, but I didn’t think even the royal family would turn into savages when given the chance to eat some. Couldn’t I become a legen
d by hunting divine beasts and selling their corpses to the nobles? I’d become super rich too…. Yeah, Durandal wanted me to be a legend, but he never said how. This is a totally legitimate path I can take.
“Delicious,” the emperor said and wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin. “Simply amazing.” He smiled at me. “Was it difficult to kill this beast? I’ve never seen one as intact as this. It’s almost as if magic hadn’t been used at all.”
Right, Ilya did say most divine beast corpses were charred beyond recognition by magic. “It was pretty easy.” Should I make the offer to sell divine beasts right now? Obviously! I’m in front of the emperor, I don’t think there’s any chance better than this. “If you want, I can go hunting and bring some back for you—for a price, of course.”
“Oh?” The emperor raised an eyebrow. “How many could you hunt in a month?”
I’m not sure. “Hey, Ilya.” I poked her side because she always did that to me. She choked for a while before finally glaring at me. “How long did it take to get to that academy base after meeting … that teacher guy whose name I can’t remember?”
“Teacher Shinx? About a week,” Ilya said. She glanced at her food before looking back at me.
“Mm, okay.” I wasn’t going to poke her again. I’m not as mean as her. The emperor was still staring at me with that strange smile on his face. Kind of like a pervert, but isn’t he, like, really old? Maybe it’s in a grandfatherly way. Not like my grandfather who tried to drown me in a barrel, but an actual nice one. “So I killed 33 divine beasts in a week. And there’s four weeks in a month. So … around 130 beasts a month?”
The emperor’s eyes widened as dozens of utensils hit the table at the same time. The whole royal family—and Ilya’s dad—had dropped their forks and knives. One of them, I think the empress, even spilled wine all over herself. “One, one hundred beasts a month?” the emperor asked. Wow, now he’s looking at me like those people did back in the southern pass when I still wore my bones like armor. “You’re serious?”
