by Virlyce
“I hate this job,” the man in the sky said. “The world should just burn. Let the plant devils overrun everything, I don’t care. Next generation? Forget it.” He exhaled. “Calm down, Cain. Calm down. It’s just a stupid chipmunk”—
“Squirrel.”
—“lady. A stupid squirrel lady. You don’t have to let her get under your skin like this, yeah? Okay. Great. You’re doing great, Cain.”
Wait, didn’t he say something super ominous just now. Something about plant devils? But that’s not even the most pressing issue! “The leaderboar—dgh!?”
Ilya stuffed something in my mouth! “Please, stop talking.”
This, this—! Oh, it’s a cookie. Is it made with acorn flour? When did Ilya get something like this and how come she hasn’t been sharing it with me? It’s not bad at all—pretty tasty. I deserve it after all that hard work I did during that last test. I sent out over two thousand Breaking Blades, not counting Durandal’s.
“In one minute, the fourth part of the competition will begin,” the man in the sky said. “It’s a simple test of comprehension. No attacking allowed! Instant disqualification for anyone who breaks the rules, understood!?”
Comprehension? Like learning a new skill? I’m good at that; this should be easy. A tablet fell from the sky and landed by my feet. What’s this?
“The technique you’ll be comprehending is written down on the tablet in front of you. There must be utter silence; anyone who speaks will be disqualified. You have one hour. Begin.”
What’s with the impossible exams!? I can’t read!
***
This tablet … makes no sense whatsoever. What the heck is this language? Is there even anyone here that can read this? Judging by the looks on people’s faces, they can’t decipher it either. What’s Lucia doing? Is, is she licking it? Did she figure something out? I have reservations about eating food that fell on the ground, but for the sake of this exam…. Who am I kidding? There’s no way I’m going to lick this tablet. Absolutely none.
Ah! Daniel’s licking the tablet! And now Mirta! Everyone’s gone crazy! Sounds of slurping and disgust filled the air. Don’t tell me this is how you’re actually supposed to comprehend the tablet. There’s no way Cain would test us like this, right? And I refuse to believe Lucia figured something out! But … everyone else is licking it. …Just one taste won’t hurt. Blech, it tastes like cabbage.
Crunch.
What was that? It sounds like rocks being ground up. Wasn’t there supposed to be utter silence? Of course, it’s Lucia. She’s eating the tablet now!? And Cain’s acting like this is perfectly normal! Could comprehension be digestion? Did Lucia actually figure out the exam before anyone else in this room? Let’s try reading the words one more time. This character with the squiggly part, I’ve seen it before, but where? Doesn’t it resemble the way mana flows through my heart transformation point if it’s the third part of a spell? If each of these characters are pictures of mana flows, then—
Crunch.
Utter silence, people. Utter silence! Why the heck is that lionkin eating the tablet too!? Calm down, Ilya. If each of these characters are pictures of mana flows, then this could represent the fire attribute. This one would be wind. Would this be light? It kind of feels similar to the way mana flows in my head. Now that I think about it, does mana flow the same way for everyone? What about the people who fight with qi? How are they supposed to figure this out? I’m not sure if I’m on the right track anymore. But—
Crunch.
Daniel too!?
Crunch.
Mirta, you’ll break your teeth if you eat that! It can’t be that I’ve fallen under an illusion spell, right? Is this the actual test of comprehension, whether or not you can see through an illusion? Maybe I—
“I understand!” someone shouted and stood up. “This is an illusion! There’s—”
“Disqualified,” Cain said. He flicked his finger and the man who had just shouted disappeared.
…Was that also part of the illusion? To throw me off track? Am I thinking about this too much? It’s okay, Ilya. Trust in your senses. Follow the previous train of thought with the images and mana flows. …But it’s very hard to do that with everyone eating their tablet! It’s like studying in a room full of people chewing with their mouths open. This is absolutely infuriating. What happened to the utter silence rule? Ugh, whatever. I’ll just circulate my mana in accordance to the pictures.
But how is it read? Left to right like human books, top to bottom like the fae’s, or right to left like demons’? It’s possible that it’s not even read in either of those manners; then I’ll plot out every one of those paths for my mana to flow and pick the one that makes the most sense. Left to right requires mana to flow from the head directly to the toes which seems highly inefficient. That automatically filters out right to left as well. Top to bottom then? Or bottom to top. There’s still fifty minutes left according to the timer in the sky that Cain created. I’ll definitely comprehend this tablet!
Crunch.
And people are still eating their tablets. Ignore everyone else, I have to believe in myself! …But a quick check on what Lucia’s doing wouldn’t hurt. …She’s sitting on a couch and drinking hot chocolate while Puppers is massaging her feet. Unbelievable. Forget it, maybe this really is an illusion and comprehending the tablet will reveal a spell that dispels it.
Twenty minutes later, I figured out the most efficient route. But there was a slight problem with it. The spell requires someone to have at least six circles since it circulates through the head six times. Is it possible everyone was given a different tablet suitable for their level of cultivation? I’d check someone else’s, but everyone ate theirs! Literally every single person except for me ate their tablet; and it looks like they’re meditating while trying to hold down vomit. This vaguely reminds me of the time I took a test with my peers and everyone took out measuring tools, but I had no idea what they were using them for. I don’t want to talk about the results of that test.
Ah, forget it. With my results in the first part of the competition, I’ll definitely be in the top hundred even if I get zero points on this portion. I’ll just try to cast the spell. It seems like I’ll have to rely on some bones of strength. It’s a good thing I didn’t use all of them while attacking the pillar. I had wanted to, but I felt like I’d die if I stacked anymore of those spells. Actually, maybe I shouldn’t cast it right now. This is just comprehension. Surely Cain will ask us to demonstrate what we comprehended. Then I’ll just memorize and simulate the mana flow until time’s up.
Thirty minutes later, Cain clapped his hands. Everyone opened their eyes and looked up. “Alright,” Cain said, “I’m extremely curious. Why the hell did all of you eat your tablets?”
Everyone turned their heads to stare at Lucia, but she had her eyes closed with a line of drool leaking out of her mouth. …She’s asleep.
“You,” Cain said and pointed at a random man. “Tell me.”
“W-well,” the man said and swallowed. “I’m just a commoner, sir. I can’t read, so there was no way for me to comprehend anything on the tablet. But that girl, she got first place in the attack and defense portions, so I copied her. And everyone else was doing it, so if I didn’t, then wouldn’t I fall behind?”
Lucia sat up the instant the man pointed at her. She blinked and looked around before looking at Puppers. It seemed like they were communicating silently.
“And how was it? Did you comprehend anything?” Cain asked. Was it just me, or did he look like he wanted to murder someone?
“N-no, sir,” the man said and lowered his head.
Cain snorted and glared at Lucia. “It’s you again. Why is it always you?” he asked. “Tell me, why did you eat your tablet? You’re the one who started it. If it weren’t for your actions, no one else would have the moronic thought to actually eat their tablets!” His head swiveled to meet everyone’s gazes. “That’s right. Each and every one of you is an idiot.” T
hen he glanced at me. “Except for you.”
It’s a really, really good thing I didn’t fall for the peer pressure.
“So what do you have to say for yourself, Lucia Fluffytail?”
“The thing vaguely smelled like acorn flour, so I licked it, and it actually tasted like acorn flour!” Lucia nodded. “So I ate it.”
Cain’s eye twitched. “And did you comprehend anything?”
“Yes!” Lucia said, bobbing her head up and down. She actually did!?
Cain waited, but Lucia didn’t say anything. “And?” he asked. “What was it?”
Lucia stuck her chest out as if she were proud of her actions. “I realized the acorn flour was actually on my fingers from before and had nothing to do with the tablet!” Oh my lord. I knew she was a simple person, but … this is going a little too far. “But since I ate the tablet, there was nothing I could do to change that. And you already said that there’s no way I’d lose first place in the preliminary, so I decided to take a nap.”
Cain’s expression darkened. He looked at me. “For not being an idiot, you get three thousand points. It doesn’t matter if you actually comprehended anything or not; apparently, you’re a goddam genius compared to everyone else here.”
Lucia’s eyes widened as my name appeared on top of hers on the leaderboard. “Ah! You lied! You said I would be first!”
I won by default? “C-can I try casting the spell I comprehended?” I’m ashamed to win this way. I have to prove myself legitimately!
Cain furrowed his brow. “You actually figured out a spell?”
Was I not supposed to? Is this an example of keeping your mouth shut to not seem like a fool? “Y-yes. At least, I think I did.”
“Go on then,” Cain said. “I’m curious.”
Alright, here goes nothing! I’ve simulated it thirty times and nothing seemed wrong, so it should definitely bring about a result. Two bones of strength should be enough. Follow the flow, keep it steady, consume a bone, reverse this portion of mana, circulate it back towards my head, consume another bone, circulate it down to my hands, then back to the head, then back to my hands, and I’m done! Like I thought, it’s a spell that requires the use of my palms related to the light element. “Light, don’t fail me now, show me your power!”
Mana surged through my body as I pointed my hands at the sky. Two beams of light shot out of my palms, creating massive white pillars that extended as far as the eye could see. Cain moved forward and approached the beams. He placed a black stick halfway into one of the pillars. When he withdrew the stick, half of it was gone. Well, I expected the spell to be more than just a giant flashlight. Four circles of fire and five circles of lightning were necessary to create this!
“Not bad, not bad at all,” Cain said once the pillars disappeared. “This concludes the preliminary rounds. These are the final results.” He gestured towards the scoreboard. I’m first place? “Everyone with more than zero points have the right to participate in the Godking’s Brawl. The top hundred people…, I promised rewards, didn’t I? Your reward is simple: You’ll be given seeded positions in the upcoming brawl like the sixty people with guaranteed spots.”
“That’s it?” Lucia asked. “What the heck?”
“You were expecting more?” Cain asked. “Why did you even participate in the preliminary if you were guaranteed a spot?”
“I wasn’t paying attention and came here instead of the spectator’s area,” Lucia said with a nod.
Cain took in a deep breath through his nose. Then he exhaled a breath of black smoke through his mouth. “Everyone’s dismissed. The Godking’s Brawl will begin tomorrow at noon.”
20
That was a total waste of time! There weren’t even any rewards. I feel cheated. And Ilya looks exhausted after today’s events. When the man in the sky said the preliminary was over, the plane had dissolved, and we were back inside the city. Ilya got a message from her father telling her to go back to the inn since it would’ve been too hard to find people in the crowd. A lot of people stared at us, but no one got in our way. Even the lionkin from the acorn stew incident avoided me after I made eye contact with him. Does this count as becoming a legend? Mm, even if it does, that doesn’t matter because I have to ascend higher than the divine realm to achieve my dreams. Ah, speaking of dreams, that reminds me of my deal with Albert…? Algar? The human crown prince. It’s still a secret though!
“So,” Ilya said. I was holding onto her hand because she’s super tiny and would probably get lost in the crowd if I let her go. “Why is she with us?”
In my other hand, I was holding Ilya Number Two by the back of her belt—kind of like a shopping bag. Her arms and legs dangled uselessly in the air; she had stopped struggling a while ago. Obviously I have a reason to bring her along. “We’re friends!”
“Friends,” Ilya said. “Right. I’m pretty sure her grandmother’s a high elf. I’m not sure how strong she is though.”
“Nine circles,” Ilya Number Two said. She raised her head, which was a bit red from all the blood rushing to it, and flailed her arms and legs a bit. “She’ll rescue me! You better let me go right now.”
A voice shouted above the din of the crowd, “Mirta! Where are you!?”
“Gran—” Before Ilya Number Two could give away our position, I stuffed her face into Ilya’s shoulder to prevent her from making a sound. The little elf girl struggled a lot, and Ilya also tried to run away, but I wasn’t going to let that happen! I was curious about the enchanting process, and Ilya Number Two told me weapons can be upgraded by a whole grade. I’m not sure what a grade was, but I decided I had to kidnap the elf in front of me right away! If I reached the peak of divine realm, and then had Ilya Number Two’s grandmother enchant mini-DalDal, wouldn’t Durandal directly step into the legendary realm? That saves me a whole lot of work! That’s why I have to bring Ilya Number Two away. If I can’t befriend her, then I can always hold her hostage. Hah? Someone will accuse me of kidnapping a child? Well, they’d be wrong! This is called pursuing one’s dreams.
“Mirta!?”
The voice is getting further away. Nice! Let’s hurry back to the inn before the grandmother can track us down. Ilya frowned. “I really don’t think this is a good idea.”
“Nonsense! All my ideas are good ideas. When have I ever gotten the short end of the stick for one of my choices?” Other than trusting Snow. That was a bad idea, a really, really bad one. I still haven’t seen him around. Is Ilya’s dad really sure about his participation? Snow doesn’t seem like the person to compete for prizes fairly. He’d probably steal it from the winner.
“Well….” Ilya’s brow furrowed. “Does almost dying count?”
“No. Only actual dying.” Keyword, almost. And Ilya’s only almost died around three or four times since she’s met me. That’s nothing!
“Then I really can’t think of a time you’ve been punished for making a dumb decision,” Ilya said and bit her lower lip. “Is that true? Why does that feel wrong on so many levels? No, that’s impossible. Someone like you should definitely get your just deserts with all the bad karma you’ve accumulated. Ah! Being punished by my teacher! Falling for his trap was definitely a bad idea on your part.”
“But then I met you?” I don’t really think of meeting Rogath as a misfortune. If anything, I got a super-powerful magic tool and a handy-dandy encyclopedia to boot.
Ilya’s expression darkened. “You’re right.” She sighed and hung her head. “There is no god.”
Don’t equate my lack of divine punishment to the lack of a god! I’m sure there’s someone out there plotting out our lives as we speak. Oh, we’ve arrived back to the inn. That was quick. I need to take a nap and relax. I already finished my daily one thousand swings of my sword while attacking the man in the sky. And I get to sleep in since the competition starts at noon. Life is great!
“Um, Ilya,” Ilya’s dad said when we entered the suite. He pointed at the bundle I dropped on the ground. “Who’s t
hat? A guest?”
“This is Mirta,” Ilya said. “Lucia kidnapped her.”
“Help!” Ilya Number Two shouted. “Hel—” She stopped shouting when I placed a mug of hot chocolate in front of her on the ground. “For me?”
“Yup!” The easiest way to placate someone is with good food. The second easiest way is to cut their head off, but that’d ruin the whole point of me kidnapping Ilya Number Two. You can’t ransom off a dead hostage! …Well, you can, but you wouldn’t get as much. “We’re friends, right?”
Ilya Number Two stared at the cup. Her lips quivered before she lifted her head and stared at me. I did my best to smile at her. So why did she look so scared? I’m not scary! Didn’t we already establish our friendship during the competition? Ilya Number Two’s stomach growled. She swallowed her saliva as she grabbed the hot chocolate. “Right, we’re friends.”
“You’re just like Roland,” Durandal said from mini-DalDal. “I’m starting to wonder if it’s an issue with me.”
“I’m just like the Godking?” That’s right! Aren’t I? I’m the strongest warrior in the world, and I own Durandal! If I fought with the Godking in his prime as I am right now, I’d definitely kick his ass. At least I think I’m the strongest warrior in the world. Ilya’s never heard of a divine warrior except for me, and she’s super well informed.
“I’m pretty sure Durandal was saying that as a criticism,” Ilya said and pursed her lips.
“That’s right!” Ilya Number Two said. “The Godking kidnapped my grandmother, and now you kidnapped me!” Then she glanced at the hot chocolate in her hands. “But we’re friends…. Then is it really kidnapping?”
My face is turning red from all these compliments. I’m an incredible person now; it’s unbelievable. Just a few years ago, I was a punching bag for the army. A few years before that, I was a slave. My life’s really changed after meeting Durandal. That’s why I love him! “You’re the best, Durandal!”
