“Mr. Stinchfield is our teacher, Dorian,” whispered Lilly. Dorian flinched. “And the principal of our school. You’re lucky. You’re getting him in fifth grade. I’ve had him since kindergarten.”
“The same teacher every year?” said Dorian alarmed.
“From kindergarten to eighth grade,” said Lilly. “That’s the way they do it at our school.”
“We’re closing soon, Lilly,” called out Sally, the postmistress. Lilly and Dorian walked to the counter. “Don’t wish to rush you, dear, but I have to catch the train home.” She handed Lilly a stack of the sheriff’s MOST WANTED posters.
“Why do you get those?” asked Dorian.
“I collect them,” said Lilly. How could she explain that she wanted to have a collection but couldn’t afford sports cards or pictures of celebrities like some kids in her class? Lilly squirreled away posters of criminals because they were free and interesting to look at.
“Have you ever seen a real criminal here in the post office?” asked Dorian.
Sally answered with a chuckle. “No, but if I do I’ll use my secret weapon.”
“You have a weapon?” asked Lilly.
“Can you two keep a secret?” Sally whispered despite Lilly and Dorian being the only people in the post office. They nodded. “Under the counter here is an alarm that goes to the sheriff’s office. Any trouble, I hit the alarm.” She smiled.
“Wouldn’t a criminal hear the alarm go off?” asked Lilly.
“It doesn’t buzz here. It only buzzes in the sheriff’s office.” Sally smiled.
“We have one in the Garden Center,” said Dorian. “I’m Dorian Mynah. My mother is the new owner of the Garden Center.”
“Nice to meet you, Dorian. I’m Sally. Who’s your other friend, Lilly?” Sally looked at Tobias, who continued to march around her counter.
“This is Tobias,” said Lilly. “He’s my oldest friend.”
“He looks like a spring chicken to me,” laughed Sally. Tobias squawked agreeably. Lilly liked the way Sally’s smile softened her tired face.
“He is old. But I mean he’s been my friend for the longest time,” explained Lilly.
“In that case, why haven’t you brought him for a visit before?” asked Sally.
Lilly grinned awkwardly. She couldn’t tell Sally that today was the first day Tobias said he wanted to come along.
Dorian broke the silence. “Do you have any mail for the Garden Center, Sally?”
Sally closed inkpads and turned off small machines. “No, Dorian, your mother picked it up earlier.” Sally lowered her voice again. “She bumped into Mr. Stinchfield, too. He’s been in and out of here all day hoping for some package to arrive but it never did.”
Sally chuckled. “Your mother isn’t afraid to speak her mind, is she, Dorian?” Dorian didn’t answer but looked embarrassed. Sally continued, “A little boy pretending to ride a motorcycle ran over Mr. Stinchfield’s toes with his tricycle. Mr. Stinchfield blew his top and talked real mean to the boy. His mother tried to make the little boy apologize. Your mother tried to make Mr. Stinchfield apologize. What a sight! I’m not certain your mother realized that Mr. Stinchfield was the principal of your school, Dorian.”
Sally spoke while she slipped into her spring coat and turned the OPEN sign to CLOSED. They followed her out, then Sally waved goodbye and walked toward the train station.
Dorian frowned. “It wouldn’t have mattered if my mother did know Mr. Stinchfield was the principal. She’d have told him off anyway.”
Lilly smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry, Dorian, Mr. Stinchfield would hate you anyway. Except for Isadora, he hates everyone no matter what.”
As he started to walk home, Lilly thought for a moment then added, “Just the same, Dorian, I’d hide my tail at school, if I were you.”
Chapter 5
Lilly slipped over the windowsill. She wasn’t surprised to see Zelda waiting at the bedroom window with several envelopes in her mouth. Years ago, Lilly taught the rabbit to fetch mail from the front hallway, so crammed with broken furniture and trash only a small animal could make its way through. Lilly was accustomed to Zelda delivering the mail every day. What did surprise Lilly were all the others waiting with Zelda and the thunder of voices that greeted her.
Razz Ma Tazz puffed out his chest and emitted explosive rock-a-roo-roo-roos. Lady bounced from one webbed foot to the other shouting, “Quake quackers!” Janie led a parade of chattering guinea pigs, circling round Lilly’s feet.
Lilly took the mail and set it aside without looking at it. That’s why she missed the bold, red message on one envelope, ‘URGENT… IMPORTANT… PAY ATTENTION… NOW!’
“What’s going on?” asked Lilly when Tobias flew in.
“RRRUMORS!” shrieked Tobias above the din. “A rumor has spread from beast to beast while we were away.”
“What rumor?”
“SPRIEKENZEE!” whooped Tobias. “They think you can understand and speak all of their languages.”
Lilly’s eyes lit up. “I wish I could.”
“I’ll translate but first RRRULES! They’d best end this unruly behavior!” croaked Tobias. He squawked at the crowd in a surprisingly musical way. The animals hushed.
Tobias turned to Lilly. “I instructed them to speak one at a time. Janie is first.”
Lilly lifted Janie and looked into her very sincere, very pink guinea pig eyes. Janie’s teeth began to chatter, like a telegraph operator softly tapping. “It’s a marigold! It’s a marigold!” translated Tobias.
“Marigold?” laughed Lilly. “But I’m Lilly.”
They listened to Janie chatter again. “Yaya… timma-timma,”” laughed Tobias. “Janie didn’t mean, “It’s a marrrigold, she meant, ‘It’s a mirrracle.’”
Lilly’s roommates said a great deal about a great many topics. Then everyone quieted while the miniature shark with the flame-colored tail spoke. His words were nearly inaudible, softer than a whisper. Tobias perched on top of the tank to hear. Each word was carried in a bubble. When the bubble drifted to the surface and burst, the word popped out and floated up to Tobias.
“Pip… Tipple bop… Pippen dop…. Nibbler… “
“He doesn’t like the name Nibbler,” said Tobias.
More “pippen’s” and “tippen’s” ensued, followed by “dopplen top,” “dippen tobbler,” and “pop,” “ja-yuck,” and “mack-smack.”
“Well Lilly,” said Tobias “he said you named him Nibbler because those two fish disappeared. Remember the tetra fish, Pester and Jester?”
“Yes, they were funny,” said Lilly.
“Nibbler denies eating them,” explained Tobias. “He said and this is a quote, ‘I detest the taste of tetra – too bony -- and those two were especially crunchy.’ Timm-aha!” tittered Tobias gleefully. “We’ve caught him now!”
“Please ask how they disappeared, since he says he didn’t eat them.”
After consulting the shark, Tobias spoke. “He claims Pester and Jester ate each other.”
“That’s impossible!” Lilly exclaimed but Nibbler stuck to his story.
“Let’s change his name to Fibber!” suggested Tobias.
“What does he want us to call him?” asked Lilly.
“Valentine,” answered the shark through Tobias.
“Valentine. Why, Valentine?” asked Lilly.
“I’m very proud of my tail,” he answered with a swish of his flaming, red rudder. He spoke through Tobias, of course.
“Please tell him I like Valentine,” Lilly said to Tobias. “And even if I didn’t, it’s his name. I’ll call him whatever he likes.” The shark listened to Tobias and thanked Lilly with a somersault. Then Valentine hid in a corner admiring his heart-shaped tail.
A hullabaloo ensued. “Oh, piffle,” screeched Tobias after listening for a while. “Now they all want new names. Lady the Most Beautiful of All Chickens (I didn’t remind her she is a duck.)… King Reggie Most Rooster of All Roosters… Janie wants Gwendolyn
to change her name to Muffin and believe me that iguana is no muffin…! TIM—MAH—AWG!” Tobias screeched.
“I refuse to translate any more flummerous tripe until I’ve had my dinner!” demanded Tobias.
Lilly fed everyone in her room, Tobias first. She made a sandwich for her mother and put it on her mother’s bedside table with the mail. It had been such an exciting, red-letter day that again Lilly didn’t notice the special envelope with the red lettering ‘URGENT… IMPORTANT… PAY ATTENTION… NOW!’ Whatever was inside would have to wait because what Lilly wanted to pay attention to now was Tobias and rest of her animal family.
Chapter 6
Before dawn the next morning, Razz Ma Tazz marched to the foot of Lilly’s bed and screeched like a banshee. The bedroom sprang to life. Lilly jumped out of bed still asleep and woke up on her feet.
She looked at Tobias who had been sleeping peacefully with his head under his wing. Now he was awake and annoyed. “BALDERDASH! I wish that bird would get an alarm clock,” grumbled Tobias. “It is far too early for this nonsense. ‘Hello, new morning,’ my eye. The sky is as dark as night.”
Lilly took Zelda and sat in bed stroking the rabbit’s chocolate fur. “Timma-no… Timma-no,” warned Tobias, “I know what you’re thinking, Lilly.”
“You do?” asked Lilly excited. “You can talk and read my mind?”
“Timma, no, I simply know you inside-out,” he answered. Zelda stretched up over Lilly’s chest and allowed Lilly to stroke her soft bunny ears.
“SCHOOL!” screeched Tobias. “It’s all well and good to enjoy your newfound family, Lilly. But you must go to school.”
“I know but I wish I could take a day off,” said Lilly “and be with all of you.”
“And what about Dorian? It’s his first day at your school. And you’re the only person he knows.” Lilly knew Tobias was right. But Dorian wasn’t the only reason to go to school. Lilly didn’t want the truant officers or anyone else to check on her. Lilly worried that if they did, they would discover Lilly taking care of her mother instead of her mother taking care of her.
Lilly rubbed noses with Zelda, placed her on the floor and began her morning routine of feeding everyone and freshening a few of their beds. For Janie and her babies, bed was a wire cage filled with straw although they sometimes slept on the floor, a pile of guinea pigs. Zelda slept in a wooden crate lined with grass but during the day the bunny liked to nap in her litter box. Gwendolyn’s retreat was a very long log in the corner of the bedroom. Gwendolyn was an iguana. Lady who though she was a chicken and Razz who knew he was a rooster nested atop two dining room chairs while Tobias preferred the chandelier. Having glimpsed the fish at all hours, Lilly wasn’t convinced they did sleep.
After leaving breakfast for her mother in the kitchen and grabbing a bite herself, Lilly started to dress for school. As she pulled underwear from a laundry basket on the floor, Lilly felt awkward. What would Tobias think if he saw her without clothes? Lilly hesitated. “I’ll close my eyes,” said Tobias.
“Thanks,” said Lilly, hurriedly changing. “You can open your eyes now.”
Lilly picked up a shirt and pants from the floor and put them on. “WRRRINKLED!” exploded Tobias “Next!”
Lilly tried on outfits from her two categories of clothing: tight and very dirty or dirty and very tight. They were all wrinkled. After telling Lilly that Janie and Zelda said she looked beautiful in them all, Tobias dismissed their opinions with a loud, “IRRRELEVANT!” and vetoed every outfit.
Tobias paced atop the bed railing. Zelda called him a dictator while Janie tried to call a vote. “Vote on a winner,” insisted Janie.
“There are no winners,” groaned Tobias. “ATRROCIOUS! This clothing is atrocious. Lilly can’t wear any of it in public, and I’d prefer not to see it in prrrivate.”
“So sorry. So sorry,” apologized Zelda with a swish of her ears. She twitched her nose explaining to Tobias that a box from RC came in the mail the day before. She knew because she peeked through the front door mail slot every day, and she saw the package sitting outside just yesterday or the day before or maybe the day before that.
“EURRREKA!” proclaimed Tobias. “Lilly dear, a box from RC arrived yesterday.”
“New hand-me-downs!” shouted Lilly. She ran to retrieve the box. Over the years through trial and error, Lilly had figured out the exact spot between the house and hedges where a package would stay dry if it rained. Then Sally at the Post Office told every new delivery person to leave packages in that spot.
Lilly shoved the box over the windowsill and tore open the flaps. “RC! RC!” chanted Janie and Zelda, albeit in their own tongues and out-of-sync. RC stood for “rich cousin.” Lilly didn’t remember ever meeting RC but she’d been wearing her old clothes for years.
Janie, Zelda, and Tobias waited for another fashion show. Lilly pulled on a pink, fuzzy, short-sleeved sweater. Janie’s teeth chattered and Zelda’s whiskers danced. “Yes, I agree,” said Tobias.
“What?” asked Lilly.
“STILL TOO TIGHT! It is unfortunate your cousin hasn’t had a growth spurt, Lilly. Her clothes are still one size too small for you.”
“It’s better than two sizes too small. I can hardly breathe sometimes.” Lilly settled on a pair of pink plaid pants and the only matching top – the fuzzy pink sweater. Lilly pulled out the last item and gave a shriek that set the audience on its hind legs.
“Look at this!” Lilly held a two-piece, white bathing suit in front of her. Store tags dangled. Blue eyes flashed. “It’s brand new! And it’s beautiful. If I went shopping for a brand new bathing suit, this is exactly the one I would buy.”
Lilly and Tobias both knew Lilly never had been shopping for new clothes. Janie chattered. “According to Janie, your suit is RADISHES! RADISHES!” laughed Tobias. “She means RAVISHING! The suit is lovely, my dear. And you will look lovely wearing it.”
“I have swimming in gym class today!” Lilly dropped a towel and her new bathing suit into her backpack and left for school feeling buoyant. She had a beautiful new bathing suit and Tobias could talk, truly talk. Best of all, Lilly felt she was part of a family. A warm feeling swept through Lilly as she walked to school. Her smile grew wider.
“You must really like school to be smiling like that,” said Dorian, suddenly at her side. Lilly hadn’t noticed the Garden Center as she passed by.
“Oh, hi,” said Lilly, startled out of her daydream. “I was thinking about something else.” Lilly was happy to see Dorian and relieved not to see his tail. She noticed he was wearing the same oversized sweatshirt he’d worn the day before.
They walked toward school, an ugly cement building squatting at the edge of town. “Doesn’t it look like a giant Styrofoam, fast food container?” said Lilly cheerfully. Not only was she happy about Tobias talking, she’d never walked to school with anyone before.
“It looks like a giant Styrofoam, fast food container opened up and turned upside down,” said Dorian.
“Exactly,” agreed Lilly. “I’m glad you see it, too.” She lowered her voice. “Mr. Stinchfield just came out.” Dorian stiffened. Their principal stood in the doorway at the top of cement steps. Children filed past Mr. Stinchfield without looking up, and he did not look down at them. He was busy talking to a young woman.
“That’s Miss Brightman,” said Lilly. “He’s always bothering her probably because she’s so pretty.”
“Why doesn’t she tell him to bug off?” asked Dorian.
Lilly lowered her voice. “He’s her boss, Dorian. Miss Brightman is the librarian and the gym teacher. And she’s the nicest person in school.”
“She doesn’t have to be that nice to him,” commented Dorian.
Lilly looked at Miss Brightman smiling at Mr. Stinchfield. Her smile did seem more genuine than polite. An unpleasant thought popped into her head. Could Miss Brightman like Mr. Stinchfield? It was obvious Mr. Stinchfield liked Miss Brightman. Lilly always saw him touching her shoulder or arm and l
eaning his face in toward hers when he spoke to her. But would any genuinely nice person genuinely like Mr. Stinchfield? Lilly shuddered at the thought.
The alarm rang. “We have three minutes to get to class,” warned Lilly. They hurried along as Mr. Stinchfield and Miss Brightman disappeared into the school together.
“I forgot to tell you to bring a bathing suit for gym class. But it’s just as well,” said Lilly. She was thinking that he wouldn’t be able to hide his tail in a bathing suit. “You’ll play basketball in the gym with everyone who forgot their bathing suits on purpose, all the boys.”
Chapter 7
Lilly slipped into her new, shimmering white bathing suit. She stretched the straps up over her shoulders. While the other girls made their way to the pool, Lilly tried to look casual as she walked across the locker room and stood in front of a full-length mirror.
Tyger Lilly Page 3
