by Cross, Amy
"I think there's something out there," I reply. "I don't know what it is, and I'm not sure it's a person, but there's something. Either way, it's good to get away from the city. Like you said, that's not the best place to be right now. I don't think the people we left behind are going to last much longer. At least out here, we've still got a chance."
"I just don't want it to hurt," she continues. "When I die, I mean. It's inevitable that it's gonna happen. No matter how I try to stay alive, I'm not equipped for a world like this, so there's a part of me that's okay with getting it done as soon as possible, just so long as it doesn't hurt. Whenever I see a dead body, I kinda envy them, like they've already been through it all and now they're at peace. I want it to be painless."
"I don't think there are many painless ways to die," I tell her.
"But there have to be some, right? Like, maybe something that's so quick, your body doesn't even have time to send pain signals to your brain. Vaporization, or just getting blown to pieces in a fraction of a second. That can't hurt, can it? Or getting killed while you're asleep. You wouldn't even know! That'd be, like, heaven!"
"Maybe," I reply, "but I think I want to live. At least long enough to see if there's anyone else out there."
Although I've had a few moments when I've considered giving up, the truth is that there's some part of me, deep down, that keeps pushing onward. I guess I've got this feeling that somewhere there's still hope, and that there's still a chance that life could somehow become a little more normal. I'm also very aware that if Martha's dead, I'm the only member of my family left alive. If there's any chance for the human race at all, I want my family's bloodline to stay alive. Turning and looking toward the horizon, I realize that I'm never going to give up.
I'd rather die first.
Elizabeth
"Elizabeth, can you hear me?"
Of course I can hear him, why does he keep asking? All I want is to sleep, and to wait for the pain to go away.
"Elizabeth, if you can hear me, open your eyes."
I don't know why he keeps bothering me. Now that the pain has stopped, or at least shuffled to one side of my mind, I just want to stay perfectly still. Even breathing feels like an unnecessary risk, and I'm far too tired to respond to whatever the hell he wants me to do.
Suddenly I feel something against my face, and he uses his fingers to pull my eyelids open. I try to move my head away, but as light floods my vision, all I can do is stare as Toad's face peers down at me. It's as if he's looking for something, as if he's trying to see directly into my soul. It's annoying, but there's nothing I can do to stop him. I just wish he'd stop bothering me.
"Elizabeth, I need you to give me some kind of sign that you can hear me. Anything. Just something that lets me know you're okay in there."
He waits.
"Elizabeth?"
Finally, I let out a faint groan. It's not much, but it's all I can manage right now. I just hope it's enough for him.
"It's over," he continues. "The operation went as well as it could have done. I managed to remove the infected part and then seal up the wound, so now it's just a matter of waiting for everything to heal. The biggest danger is that the stitches could come loose, and then I'd have to try to put them back together. I don't have much spare material left over, so it's vital that we get it right the first time. There's still a danger of infection. Do you understand? You can't put pressure on your leg at all."
I try to blink, but he's still holding my eyelids open.
"Elizabeth, do you -"
I groan again, hoping that he'll take the hint and leave me alone. Something feels very wrong with my body, but I can't quite work out the problem. My leg hurts, but I feel as if the pain is far weaker than it was just a short time ago. I'm also very warm, but I'm too weak to wipe the sweat off my face.
"You need to sleep," he adds. "Don't worry, I've got everything under control. Rachel's fine, and we're just going to wait here until you wake up. There's not much further to go until we reach the Hodge place, but the most important thing is that you get some rest." He pauses, and then he lets my eyelids close again. I think maybe he says something else, but the words drift away.
I can hear him moving about, but I don't care what he's doing. All that matters right now is that I ensure I don't wake up fully. If I wake up, I'll have to deal with everything that's happened, and I'd rather just stay like this forever, in a kind of haze. I don't know if it's exhaustion or blood loss that's making me feel so weak, but either way, I don't even care. As I sink into a deep, blank sleep, the last thing I think about is Henry.
If he could see me now...
Thomas
"Fellow travelers," Quinn says, as we stand next to the truck on the side of a seemingly innocuous dirt road that runs between a pair of vast green fields, "we have reached the point of no return. We're on the cusp of the signal field, which means the source could be anywhere in the immediate vicinity. From this moment on, we are entrusted with the solemn task of connecting with whatever form our destiny has chosen to take."
She pauses, before lowering her head as if she's entering prayer.
"To any deities that might be listening," she continues, "we offer our profound thanks. We understand that we have been entrusted with a sacred honor, and we can only assure you that we will not let you down. Before this day is over, we will find the source of this signal, and we will take our rightful place at the heart of whatever plans you see fit to implement. Amen."
Another pause, and then she turns first to Kaylee and then to me.
"I don't believe in any gods," she adds with a smile, "but it's always better to be safe, right? Just in case."
We all stand in silence for a moment. The only sound comes from the wind, which is rustling through some bushes nearby and which seems determined to at least partially interrupt proceedings. After a few seconds, however, it becomes clear that Quinn is actually waiting for either Kaylee or me to respond to her little pronouncement, and with Kaylee having retreated back into her shell, I guess the pressure is on me.
"There's nothing here," I say eventually.
She frowns.
"There's nothing here," I say again. "Look around. We're in the middle of nowhere!"
"Maybe to the naked eye," she replies, as if she'd anticipated my comment, "but we must learn to look closer. I'm afraid this isn't something that has been hidden out in the open."
I turn and glance across the rolling fields that run to the horizon in all directions. It looks like we're in the middle of farming country, and as much as I want Quinn to be right about this signal, I can't help feeling that this is a very unpromising location. If someone was really going to set up a system for contacting other people following a huge apocalyptic event, I really don't think this is the spot they'd choose.
"No," I say eventually, turning back to her. "Still nothing."
"Maybe it's buried," Kaylee suggests.
"Exactly," Quinn says, pouncing on the idea. "Whatever we're looking for, it won't have been left out in the open so that just any old person can find it. This is part of a game, designed to ensure that only worthy individuals are able to locate the source. For that reason alone, we must exercise caution. We can't possibly imagine what we're dealing with here. A great intellect is reaching out and looking for others of its ilk, so we must expect the task to be difficult."
"So what's the plan?" I ask, still weary after only getting a few hours of sleep on the back of the truck. "Did anyone think to bring a metal detector? Or should we just shout and hope someone hears us?"
"The laptop can help us move in the right direction," Quinn replies. "The closer we get, the more accurate the signals should become, until finally we'll hopefully be standing right on top of the damn thing. We must all be aware, however, that we might be being observed. It would make sense for someone to keep an eye on us once they've managed to lure us to this area. We must also be aware that there's a small chance we might be joined by others who have
detected the signal."
"Or someone got here before us," I point out, "and we're too late."
"I doubt it," Quinn replies calmly.
"Why not?"
"Because it's highly, highly unlikely," she continues, and it's clear that she's straining to keep from letting her irritation show. "The vast majority of people are completely incapable of picking up this signal, given the way the world has fallen apart. Whoever set this up, they must have been aware that there was a danger of it never being located. I'm sure we'll be welcomed with open arms just as soon as we find the spot." She fiddles with the laptop for a moment. "I only have another hour's worth of battery left before I need to recharge it," she adds. "We should get moving. Any questions?"
I open my mouth to tell her that I've got nothing but questions, but at the last moment I realize that there's no point. She's off on her own little mission, and it's my fault that I allowed myself to be dragged along. I feel as if I've still got a little power, though, since the truck is mine and at the end of the day I can threaten to abandon them both if they don't come with me. To be honest, the idea is really tempting right now.
As we start walking away from the truck, Quinn stays out front and I find myself hanging back a little with Kaylee. Since our conversation on the back of the truck, she seems to have clammed up again, but I figure I can at least try to get her talking. Given that Quinn is clearly insane, I feel as if I want to try to get Kaylee on my side. Besides, I can't deny that she's very pretty, and even at a time like this, I want to get to know her better.
"What do you think?" I ask after a few minutes, keeping my voice low so that Quinn can't hear. "Are we gonna find anything apart from dirt and a bunch of bushes?"
"Maybe, I guess," she replies. "If the signal's real."
"You think it might not be?"
"I don't understand computers. I don't even know how she's got that one working."
"She wouldn't bring us out here for no reason," I reply. "One way or another, she definitely believes that it's real, and I saw the screen. It was picking up something, which means there's a server somewhere. I'm not sure how she's managed to narrow the source of the signal down, though. She was a bit vague when I asked."
"But what if it's, like, a crashed satellite or something?" she asks. "Or maybe a crashed plane, and the black box recorder is sending out a signal? If this turns out to be nothing, I'm not going back to Chicago. That place is like a giant cemetery."
"So where would you go?" I ask.
"There's nowhere. What about you?"
"No idea," I reply with a shrug. "I feel like I'm pretty much at the end of the road. I've never been this far from home in my whole life."
"Will you two cut it out?" Quinn says suddenly, turning to us. "What is this, a party? We're here to do some serious work, guys." She stares at us for a moment, as if she's genuinely annoyed by the fact that we've started to become a little friendly. "I need you to be constantly on the alert," she continues. "We could be within a few hundred meters of this thing, whatever it is, and I'm relying on you to be able to spot anything that's out of the ordinary. You're hardly going to be able to do that if you're joking around all the time."
"We were just talking," I reply.
"Sorry," Kaylee adds plaintively, like a schoolkid who's just been told off for speaking in class.
"Jesus Christ," Quinn mutters, turning and resuming the search. "Sometimes I wonder if I should have just come out here alone."
"With whose truck?" I mutter.
"I heard that!"
"What crawled up her ass and died?" I whisper to Kaylee, but Quinn's little outburst has clearly ended all hopes of a conversation. Looking distinctly embarrassed, Kaylee moves a few steps away from me and then makes sure to keep looking in the opposite direction, almost as if she's scared of pissing Quinn off again. All I can do is sigh and hope that eventually she'll come around, although it's going to be tiring if I have to coax her out every time I want to get more than a few works from her.
For the next hour or so, we keep walking through the undergrowth, while Quinn constantly checks things on the laptop. She seems to have everything under control, although there's a part of me that worries she might only have a tenuous grip on reality. I wouldn't mind taking a look at the screen myself, just to make sure that this isn't some kind of wild chase into nowhere, but I figure Quinn wouldn't react too well if she thought I was checking up on her. As my legs start to ache more and more, however, I can't help wondering how much longer we're going to spend out here.
"Wait a moment!" Quinn says eventually, stopping up ahead.
Kaylee and I come to a halt next to her.
As she adjusts some settings on the laptop, Quinn seems totally absorbed in whatever she's doing. After a moment, she turns toward the west, and the laptop lets out a couple of beeps. I'm not sure if it's genuinely picked something up, or the battery's just dying.
"I've re-calibrated the settings," she says finally. "According to the latest data, we need to be heading this way."
"Over there," Kaylee says suddenly, pointing in the opposite direction.
"No," Quinn says, "this way."
"Look!" Kaylee shouts, pointing the other way. "I see someone!"
Turning, I look toward the horizon. At first I don't see anything, but finally a moving figure catches my attention. A couple of hundred feet away, someone is running low, trying not to be seen and heading toward a small crest. It's hard to make out any details, but the person looks to be wearing ragged clothes.
"Hey!" Quinn shouts. "You!"
Without even glancing in our direction, the figure dips down over the crest of the hill, leaving behind nothing but a faint cloud of dust until this, too, drifts away.
"Who the hell was that?" I ask, stepping forward.
"Wait!" Quinn says, grabbing my arm and holding me back. "That's the wrong way, Thomas. The signal's coming from the east."
"But that was an actual person!" I point out, struggling to get free from her grip. "Didn't you see? Someone was over there!"
"It's probably just another starving loser," she replies, although I can tell she's worried. "We don't have time to worry about every dust devil we spot in the distance, okay? I'm sure there are plenty of scattered individuals in the wilderness, but they're none of our concern. We're on a mission."
"What if they know something?" I ask. "If people are living out here, they might have a better idea of what the hell's going on. Maybe they've picked up the signal too!"
"Or they might get in our way," she replies. "Think about it. If there's anyone living nearby, they're almost certainly no-hopers. They're probably living off the land, degenerating beyond the point of civilized society and..." She pauses. "My God, they could be cannibals for all we know. Think it through, Thomas. We need to hurry up with our work. In fact, we need to get back to the truck and get moving as fast as possible. I simply won't allow any distractions!"
"There's more of them," Kaylee says suddenly.
Turning, I watch for any further sign of movement, but I don't see anything.
"They were there a moment ago," she continues, pointing toward the spot where we saw the other figure a moment ago. "At the top of that hill, there were three of them. They were looking this way. I couldn't see them properly, but they've definitely noticed us. They moved out of sight, but I swear to you, I'm not making this up!"
"Get to the truck," Quinn says firmly, half dragging me back the way we came. "Come on, we might be in danger. We'll drive a little further to the east and then try again."
"You're not in charge!" I shout, pulling my arm free from her grip.
She turns to me with genuine anger in her eyes. "Excuse me?"
"I want to see who they are," I continue, standing my ground. "From the way that person was moving, they sure as hell don't seem like those creatures from back in the city. What if they're actual people who can help us? We can't just ignore everyone we meet along the way!"
"We sure a
s hell can," Quinn replies. "In fact, it's by far the best approach. You can't seriously want to go and poke every hornet's nest we come across, Thomas. Even if they're just regular people, they could still be dangerous. For all you know, they might steal the truck, take all our provisions, and then kill us where we stand! Human nature isn't always a good thing, especially when people are desperate."
"I'm going to see," I tell her, turning and walking toward the crest.
"Get back here!" Quinn calls after me. "Thomas! What the hell do you think you're doing? We're a team! You have to get back here immediately and stick to the original mission! That's an order!"
Ignoring her, I keep walking.
"We'll leave without you!" she shouts. "I swear to God, we'll just drive off and leave you here!"
"Good luck with that," I mutter, double-checking that I've got the truck keys in my pocket.
Up ahead, there's no sign of anyone near the crest of the hill, but I have no doubt that Kaylee was telling the truth when she said she saw three more people. Maybe Quinn's right and this is a dangerous move, but I'm sure as hell not about to let her tell me what to do, and I figure it'd be good to widen my circle of acquaintances a little. Anyway, whatever that signal is, I doubt it's going to vanish in the next few minutes. Scrambling up the side of the hill, I glance over my shoulder and see that Quinn and Kaylee are still standing and watching me. There's a part of me that really wants to find something useful, just so I can give Quinn something to chew on.
And that's when I get to the top of the hill and see what's on the other side.
The first thing I notice is the shore of Lake Erie, with the water stretching for miles ahead. It's a beautiful sight, and strangely calming after everything I've been through recently. More importantly, however, there are people, lots of people, maybe a couple of hundred. Tents have been erected here and there, and I watch with amazement as various distinct groups seem to be getting on with work. Some of them are carrying logs, others are working around small campfires, and another group is closer still, tending to what looks like some kind of allotment. As I take it all in, I can't help but notice that it seems like a fully-functioning community, with everyone working together. It's such a beautiful sight, and so hard to believe, that I almost want to drop to my knees and thank God.
