by Pamela Bauer
But he’d wanted her. Ever since the first day he’d met her he’d fantasized as to what it would be like to be her lover. The night of the hospital ball he’d been given a chance to fulfill that fantasy and he’d taken it. It hadn’t mattered that she was only with him because she’d been hurt by the man she loved. It had been a night of passion for pleasure’s sake only. A night they both agreed they would forget ever happened.
Only now there would be a permanent reminder. No matter how emotional she was, he needed to be rational. “Okay. What’s done is done. Let’s not dwell on that. Can we try to discuss this calmly?”
She nodded and he mentally calculated how long it had been since the hospital ball. “So you’re what? Fifteen, sixteen weeks?”
“Sixteen,” she confirmed.
He tried to look at her as if she were his patient, but he couldn’t. She wasn’t someone who’d come to the clinic to see him. She was the woman who’d conceived his child.
“Are you sure about the conception date?”
That raised her hackles again. “Do you think I’m lying to you?”
“No, I don’t,” he said on a note of frustration. “Would you stop reading something into my words that isn’t there?”
He hated how adversarial their relationship had become in such a short time. “I’m trying to think but it’s difficult to do with you throwing accusations at me.”
“I’m sorry,” she said on a sniffle.
“I’m in shock here. You’ve had some time to get used to the idea. I’ve had about ten minutes.”
“I’m sorry,” she repeated on another sniffle.
“It’s all right,” he said, raising his hands. “I would appreciate it if you could try not to cry quite so much. I know this is a difficult situation for you, but you getting so emotional that we can’t have a rational discussion isn’t doing us any good, either.”
“It’s my hor-hormones,” she said on a hiccup. “They’re wacko.”
Seeing her looking so vulnerable made him soften his tone. “I know they are.” He led her over to the bed where he sat her down. “Just sit there quietly for a minute while I think, okay?”
She nodded and didn’t say a word. All he heard was an occasional sniffle.
His insides were churning, his body begging him to run. It’s what he usually did to relieve stress—take a run either at the gym or on the street. He paced the narrow confines of her apartment.
He should have known she couldn’t sit quietly for very long. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before now.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to spoil Dena’s wedding. You can imagine what this kind of news would have done to the atmosphere in this house. I wanted it to be a happy time for her.”
“We could have kept it between us.”
She nodded and bit down on her upper lip. “Maybe I didn’t want you to be your usual analytical self and present all my options to me.”
“There is only one option, right?”
She nodded. “I’m having this baby.”
It was what he wanted to hear. What he’d expected to hear from her. “Who knows you’re pregnant?”
“No one in your family except Maddie.”
He didn’t think it was necessary to reveal that Maddie had accidentally told him.
“What about your family?” he asked.
She nodded. “Carly and my mom both know. Oh, and Dena and Quinn found out by accident and I told Shannon.”
All of them knew before he did. It didn’t make him happy.
“Other than the morning sickness, have you had any problems?”
“Mmm-hmm. My feet are swelling, my back aches, and look at my skin.” She thrust her chin up so that he could get a closer look at her face. “I have acne.”
He moved closer to her to get a better look. “That’s not acne. It’s a couple of pimples.”
“They look awful. Luckily Shannon is a makeup artist and could cover them for the wedding. The worst part though is that I’m emotional.”
“You’re always emotional.”
“Not like this.”
“No, never quite as bad as this,” he agreed. He paced some more, his mind trying to absorb what she’d told him. With two words his well-planned, orderly life had been thrown off course and he wasn’t sure it would ever be set straight again.
“Now what happens?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he answered the only way he could. “This is the last thing I ever expected would happen to me.”
“I know. I feel the same way.”
He wanted to go over and take her in his arms and hold her, but something stopped him. Maybe it was the knowledge that sympathy wasn’t the sole motivation for wanting to be close to her. Ever since they’d made love he’d been having trouble forgetting how good it had been between them. Knowing that she was carrying his child only made her more desirable.
“It’s late,” he said on a sigh. “I’d better go.”
She nodded, her arms wrapped around her midsection. “I am truly sorry that whole night backfired on us, Garret. I only wanted to help a friend.”
He didn’t need to be reminded of why she’d gone out with him. Or why she went to bed with him. She couldn’t have Roy so she’d settled for him, and he, in seeking his fantasy, hadn’t hesitated to take advantage of the situation. The irony of it all was enough to make him want to grab a stiff drink.
“None of that matters now, Krystal.” He walked over to the door, pausing before he opened it to say, “I’ll call you when I’ve had time to process all of this.”
She simply nodded and showed him the door.
KRYSTAL AWOKE THE following morning and stared at the ceiling. Before she even lifted her head she reached for the soda crackers next to her bed. She didn’t need them, however. No queasy tummy, just hunger. She carefully climbed out of bed and padded about her room. Still nothing.
She closed her eyes and said a brief prayer of thanks. Lately she had no clue as to when or where she’d have an attack of morning sickness. She wondered if she dared hope that her bout with it was coming to an end. It would certainly make life a lot easier.
Not that she expected her troubles would disappear with the absence of morning sickness. It was trivial compared to some of the issues facing her. Like what was going to happen now that Garret knew she was pregnant.
A knock on her door raised the hairs on the back of her neck. Her first thought was that Leonie had heard she was pregnant and had come to confront her about it. She glanced at the clock and saw it was after ten. She knew Leonie had arranged to meet her children for brunch this morning. The house should be empty.
The knocking became louder and steadier. Krystal could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She took a deep breath and pulled the door open. “Carly!” She stared at her sister in disbelief. She looked as if she’d been up all night and had left the house in a hurry. Next to her was four-year-old Emily, who didn’t look much better. Her hair hadn’t been combed and both looked as if they’d slept in their clothes. Behind them were two of the biggest suitcases Krystal had ever seen.
“What are you doing here?” A sinking feeling in her stomach warned her she wasn’t going to like the answer.
“You said I could always come to you in a time of need.” There was no emotion in her sister’s voice. She looked as if she could collapse any moment, her face pale, her eyes rimmed with dark circles.
“Of course you can. Come on inside.” She smiled at Emily and ruffled the little girl’s hair as she said hello. Then she gave each of them a gentle shove, urging them to step inside the apartment while she dragged the suitcases in behind her.
As soon as they were all inside and the door was closed, she said,
“If I didn’t know you were so happy with Joe I’d think you’d left him.”
“I did leave him,” Carly said quietly.
The sinking feeling in Krystal’s stomach plunged all the way to
her toes. “But you love him. So does Emily.” She glanced at her niece, who stood clutching a soft furry pig close to her chest.
“But he doesn’t love me.”
“Of course he does. Look, if you’ve had a fight…” she began but her sister interrupted her.
“It wasn’t a fight. He doesn’t want me anymore.” Her voice was a hollow echo of its usual cheery tone. “It’s over. Everything. Our marriage…my life…” she said despondently, paying no attention to the fact that Emily was wide-eyed and taking in every word she said.
“You look awfully tired. Why don’t I make the futon into a bed and you can lie down for a while,” Krystal suggested, putting her hand on her arm.
She shook her head. “It’s no good. I can’t sleep. I have to think.”
“Carly, you need rest.”
“What I need is Joe but I can’t have him,” she said on a frantic whisper, then burst into tears, flinging herself facedown on the futon. It was the worst crying Krystal had ever heard from her sister. Before she could console her, Emily let out a wail and began to cry at the top of her lungs, too.
Krystal scooped the four-year-old into her arms and comforted her. “Shh. It’s okay, Emily. Don’t cry. Your mommy’s going to be okay.”
The little girl hiccuped. “N-No, she’s not. She hates my daddy.”
Krystal carried her over to her bed and set her down. “She doesn’t hate your daddy. She’s just angry at him, but everything’s going to be okay. Now can you sit here for a few minutes and let me talk to your mommy?”
The little girl shook her head and bawled even louder. “I want to go h-home.”
“I know you do and you will, but first everybody has to stop crying…including your mommy. I’m going to help her do that, but I need you to be a big girl and put on a happy face. Can you do that for me?”
She nodded but continued to cry.
Krystal walked over to the portable TV and turned it on. “Look. You can watch a movie. I have Shrek. You like Shrek, right?” She put a DVD in the player.
The little girl nodded but continued to cry.
“What if I told you I’d paint your fingernails if you could sit quietly for a few minutes.” She held up her hands. “Wouldn’t you like to have pretty polish on them?”
Krystal could see she was interested. “Do you have purple?” Emily asked on a hiccup.
“Yes, and it has sparkles in it. It’s really pretty. Does your mom ever paint your toenails?” When she shook her head, Krystal went on, “I can do both your fingers and your toes, but only if you have a smile on your face. What do you think?”
The weakest of smiles slowly appeared, accompanied by several sniffles.
Krystal kissed her on the forehead. “Beautiful. Now you hold on to that smile and I’ll see if I can make your mommy feel better, okay?”
She went over to the futon and sat down beside her sister. “Carly, you’ve got to pull yourself together. You’re upsetting Emily,” she said in a gentle but firm tone.
Her sister continued to sob. “I can’t help it. It hurts so bad.”
“I’m sure it does, but this isn’t just about you. It’s about Emily, too.” She deliberately kept her voice low as she talked. “You’re frightening her. You don’t want to do that, do you? Try to keep your voice down.”
As if suddenly aware of the emotional impact she was having on her daughter, Carly sat up, swiping at her tearstained face with the backs of her hands. “I don’t know what I’m going to do,” she said softly. “He doesn’t want me, Krys.”
“I think you’re wrong, Carly. Joe’s crazy about you. He always has been.”
She shook her head. “He wants someone else.”
Anger toward her brother-in-law erupted inside Krystal. “Are you sure about that?”
She nodded miserably. “He’s been cheating on me. He admitted it.”
Krystal felt sick and it had nothing to do with being pregnant. She didn’t understand how her brother-in-law could be unfaithful to her sister. They had always seemed so happy together.
“What a no-good, low-down…” She almost uttered an expletive until she remembered her niece was sitting not more than ten feet away. “How could he do such a thing?”
“It’s my fault. I should have watched my weight more carefully. I knew fat was a turnoff for him.”
The notion that her sister felt responsible for his sordid behavior sparked Krystal’s anger. “For Pete’s sake, Carly, you are not fat! And even if you were, that doesn’t give him the right to cheat on you. He’s your husband and he took a vow to be faithful.”
“Every man wants a wife he can be proud of.” Her voice had a defeated tone Krystal had never heard before. Usually her sister was the steady, confident one in the family. It was one of the reasons why, even though Krystal was older, their roles had reversed, with Carly acting like the big sister.
“There’s no reason why Joe shouldn’t be proud of you,” Krystal insisted. “Carly, you are a lovely person and you’re a good wife and mother. I’m not going to let you take the blame for this,” she said on a fierce whisper.
She might as well have been talking to the wall. It didn’t matter what she said, her sister had already accepted the blame for her husband falling in love with another woman.
“He wanted me to take golf lessons, but I didn’t think it would be any fun,” she said in this tiny voice that sounded nothing like the Carly she knew.
“What does golf have to do with anything?” Krystal demanded.
“She golfs. And she’s skinny.”
“You’ve seen her?”
Carly bit down on her lower lip and nodded. As her eyes pooled with tears, she looked up at Krystal and asked, “What am I going to do?”
Krystal hugged her. “The first thing you’re going to do is get some rest. You need sleep.”
“Mommy, are you crying again?” Emily’s little voice could be heard above the sound of the TV.
Carly managed to swallow back the tears, but she couldn’t stop the trembling in her shoulders. “Mommy’s okay, sweetie,” she called out in a broken voice. She forced a smile that Krystal thought was the most pathetic excuse for a grin that she’d ever seen, but Emily didn’t seem to mind.
She climbed down from the bed and came running over to throw herself at her mother. “Can we go home now, Mommy?”
“Not just yet,” Carly said gently, meeting Krystal’s gaze over the small blond head.
“But I’m hungry,” the four-year-old whined.
Krystal reached for a box of tissues and shoved it on to her sister’s lap. “Mop up and we’ll go downstairs. I could use some breakfast, too.”
Carly looked at her daughter. “Emily, you already ate breakfast.”
“She can have more.” Krystal looked at her niece and asked, “What do you like to eat?”
“Froot Loops.”
Krystal frowned. “Oh, we don’t have any Froot Loops. But I can make you pancakes. Would you like that?”
“Yes, please,” the tiny voice answered. “Can Mommy come, too?”
“Mommy’s not going to go with you,” Carly answered, then looked at Krystal. “I don’t want to see anybody. I look a mess.”
“You don’t need to worry. The Donovans all went to brunch this morning,” Krystal assured her. “We’ll have the kitchen to ourselves.”
Carly shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not hungry and I couldn’t eat anything even if I tried.”
No, Krystal didn’t suppose she could. Seeing how pale and exhausted her sister was, she decided not to press the issue. “All right. You stay up here and get some rest. We won’t be long. Promise.”
She knew it was a promise that wouldn’t be difficult to keep. Krystal wanted to get in and get out of the kitchen before any of the Donovans returned. She shivered as she thought about their family gathering together, wondering if Garret was telling them the news this very minute.
It was an unsettling thought. One that was so
unsettling she found her appetite had vanished by the time she’d made the pancakes. She fed Emily and hurried back upstairs.
GARRET WAS RESTLESS. The others had noticed and commented on it, but he’d allowed them to believe the reason he’d left the table four times was to check in on a patient of his in the hospital. The truth was he’d gone outside to pace the parking lot. He did his best thinking when he was alone and he definitely needed to think.
He wouldn’t have come to the family brunch if it wasn’t for the fact that Dylan and Maddie would only be visiting a short while before they returned to France. He would have preferred to eat a stale piece of toast in the privacy of his own apartment where he could pace the floor and try to figure out what the best course of action was regarding Krystal.
Every time he thought about her his insides became all jumbled. He still couldn’t believe she was carrying his child, yet he knew it was true. Krystal was not the kind of woman to lie about such a thing. And if she were going to lie about the paternity of the baby, she would have said it belonged to Roy. He was, after all, the man of her dreams. The one she’d been trying to forget the night she’d slept with Garret.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Maddie broke into his thoughts. “You’re not just a little bit hungover, are you?” she asked with a twinkle in her eye.
“No, you saw how little I had to drink last night,” he answered.
“Then it must be those phone calls you made to the hospital. You’re worried about a patient, aren’t you?”
Before he could answer, Dylan leaned closer and said, “Maybe he wasn’t calling the hospital because of a patient. Could be he was speaking to one lady doctor who has his stomach all tied up in knots?”
Maddie elbowed her husband. “Stop teasing.” To Garret she said, “Tell me more about this Doctors Without Borders program. Have you heard when you’ll be leaving?”
“I’m not sure.” It was one of the things that was on hold at the moment—as well as the rest of his life. If he left in January to go overseas to work, it meant he’d be gone when Krystal had her baby. He frowned.
