“Hotter than fuck, though,” Gia inserted. “But he’s right. I’ll be feeling that for a day or two.” Both she and Luke laughed when Josh’s chest suddenly stuck out. “Don’t preen, peacock,” she mocked playfully.
“Why not?” He winked. “Means I’ve done my job right.” As he spoke, he rounded the bed and approached his side, carefully climbing onto the overlarge mattress so as not to unsettle them.
“Since when are we all sleeping together, anyway?” Gia asked, interestedly.
“Since a few days after you went away.”
“Should I be insulted? It took me leaving to get you on the same mattress?”
Luke grunted. “No. Neither of us liked sleeping separately when you weren’t here.” He wrinkled his nose. “It sucks without you, Gia. Don’t ever leave us.”
At his suddenly serious tone, she leaned up on an elbow, half expecting to see a teasing glint in his eye, but he was as deadly serious as he sounded. “Don’t be silly. Of course I won’t.”
“You say that now, but things change. Things happen.”
“Like what? You almost getting court-martialed, blown to bits, and footsteps away from being sent to jail? You think things can get much worse than that?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Look what life has thrown our way already. What else could it throw at us?”
“Well, I don’t care. Whatever it is, we’ll handle it as we always do. We’re a team, love. That’s how we work.”
“I know, but I don’t want you to forget that.”
“Why should I?”
“If I accept Jarvis’s offer, then things could get crazy around here again.”
“If it’s more than you can handle, then I don’t think you should do it. But you know that. We talked about it over dinner.”
He started to gnaw on his lower lip. “I know, but I have responsibilities. I can’t let them drop.”
“What responsibilities? Who do you owe your loyalty to, save the people on this bed? You need to do what you want to do, not what someone else wants. You said it yourself, Luke. You only enlisted because of your father. That’s not right. That’s not how it should be, sweetheart. I know you were good at what you did—freakin’ good if they want you back in a civilian capacity—but I thought you wanted to focus on tea roses.”
“Don’t encourage him, Gia,” Josh complained.
“Josh doesn’t like that I want to work in the garden,” Luke commented wryly.
She frowned at them both. “Why not?”
Luke shrugged, then lay back and, using his forearm, covered his eyes. “I don’t know. He just doesn’t approve.”
“It’s a waste of time.”
“Since when?” Gia snapped, rearing up onto her elbow to glower over Luke’s supine form at her other lover. “If it’s what he wants to do, then let him damn well do it.”
Josh narrowed his eyes at her. “You think a man with his talents should waste his hours in the garden?”
“Err, yeah, I do. Considering it’s helping him get through what happened in Libya, then it’s all for the good. He’s not a workhorse, Josh. He needs to recuperate first, and if tea roses enable him to do that, then that’s all for the good.”
“No, it isn’t. Tea roses aren’t going to pay the bills. Plus, you know what he’s like when he’s around his family—which is a natural extension if he’s going to be working there every day. It’s not healthy for him.”
“Bull. He’ll be with Lou most of the time. His brothers are hardly ever there, and Robert’s purely admin. He leaves it all with Lou. If it makes Luke happy, then that’s all that counts, because we don’t need to worry about the bills. And I’m the one in the know. You don’t pay them; I do.”
He gritted his teeth. “I can’t believe you’re happy for him to waste his days like that.”
“I want him to heal, to get better. I’ll do whatever I can to help him do that. Anyway, my royalties cover a lot. There’s no need to worry about money. I do because I’m naturally cautious, but still, I know how far we can stretch. With Luke’s pension coming now thanks to the change in his discharge…” When she saw Josh staring at her, a bizarre look on his face, she demanded, “What? What’s wrong?” Luke licked his lips, and the tiny movement caught her attention. She turned to look at him, saw he’d lowered his arm to gawk at her, and gritted out, “What the hell are you looking at? What have I said?”
“Royalties?” Josh murmured softly.
“Yeah, royalties.”
“Since when do any of us earn royalties?”
She blinked.
Fuck.
Talk about letting the cat out of the bag and not even friggin’ realizing it.
She licked her lips, trying to figure out how to limit the damage on this, and swiftly realized that wasn’t a possibility. Where Luke was concerned, she had wiggle room. With Josh, there was no wiggling. Only the truth would do.
“I’ve had a supplementary income for a while,” she murmured cautiously, still trying to feel Josh out.
“For a while? How long’s that?”
She looked away, down at the sheets, at her hands—anywhere but at him. “About four years.”
“You’ve had a job, for four years, and you didn’t tell us?” He curled into a sitting position, his abs rippling as he moved.
“It wasn’t a secret,” she defended. “It just never came up.”
He blinked, then repeated, “It just never came up.” Josh curled his fists into the bed linen. “Are you for real?”
“I-I didn’t want it to cause a problem with your work.”
“Why would your working do that?”
“Because I write books.”
“That’s not illegal.”
“No, it isn’t, but I write for the LGBT genre… I know how many problems you and Luke have run across. I didn’t want to add to them.”
“It’s one thing to keep it from the goddamn Armed Forces but another to keep it from us.” He looked down at Luke. “Aren’t you angry as well? She’s been lying to us for four fucking years.”
“I-I told him before he left for Libya.” She ducked her head. “It just popped out. Apparently I suck at keeping things on the down-low.”
“I don’t know about that,” Josh snarled. “You’ve done a pretty fucking good job so far.”
“This is what I wanted to avoid,” she snarled back. “I didn’t want to cause arguments, and I knew it would have. When I first got the contract, it didn’t matter. It was small fry, so I kept it quiet in case you didn’t approve. But then when the contracts got better, it was too hard to tell you everything. I didn’t want you to stop me from doing it, and I know you, Josh. You’d have tried.
“Look at this with Luke and his tea roses. You’re not the most supportive of partners.”
His eyes widened at her attack. “I always support you. Both of you.”
“No, you support choices you approve of. There’s a difference.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it?” Gia started to look at Luke, then purposely turned her head away. She didn’t want to drag him into this, not when it was her secret, her fight. “It seems like that to me.”
“You’re twisting this around. You’re the one who’s been hiding this from us. What else have you been keeping us in the dark about? What the hell’s in Lafayette? Why did you even go there?”
“What does Lafayette matter?” she screeched. “It has nothing to do with this.”
“No, it doesn’t, but I want to know what was there. What else are you hiding?”
“Nothing! There was a motel. It was cheap.”
“There are cheap motels in state.”
“I was in the mood for a long drive.”
“Bullshit. What the hell’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Why are you lying?”
“I’m not.”
“Like we can trust you now. Four years, you’ve hidden the fact you’re a writer from us. I
can’t understand why you’d do something like that. It’s bullshit that I’d have stopped you. I’d have been proud.”
“It’s all right for you to say that now. But you’re forceful, Josh. It’s different today to what it was four years ago. I’m different. I’m stronger. I can handle you. I couldn’t before. You intimidated me.”
“If I was so fucking scary, then why the hell did you want to be with me?”
“Just because you were forbidding didn’t mean I didn’t want to fuck your brains out,” she shrieked, rolling upward into a kneeling position. “Attraction and sense don’t go hand in hand, you know.”
“Well, thanks. That makes me feel great.”
“You wanted the truth. Well, that’s the fucking truth. You scared me then. You don’t scare me now. Regardless, I wanted you. I’ve always wanted you. Since that first interview when I wasn’t sure if you were going to hire me or not as your surrogate, when I was so nervous I thought I was going to wet myself, I’ve wanted you.”
He folded his arms across his chest. “Wanting me hasn’t stopped you from keeping secrets from me.”
“Loving you hasn’t stopped it. I wanted to write, but I wanted to do it my way. No fuss. Nothing. I want to keep it simple—it’s always been like that. No fuss. That’s how I wanted it.”
“There’s keeping it simple, and there’s keeping it from us.”
Luke sighed, finally wading into the fray. “He’s right, Gia. You didn’t have to keep it a secret.”
For a second, Gia felt like she could explode. Her frustration had tears pricking her eyes, and she wanted to scream at the weakness. Why did she have to cry when she reached overload?
Tensing every muscle in her body, ignoring the onset of cramp, she bit off, “You dare to tell me that I’m the one keeping secrets? Who’s the one who flits off at all hours godsend and I can’t ask a single question as to why or where he’s going? Who’s the one who works like a madman and I don’t even know which department in the Armed Forces he works for? You two do nothing but keep secrets, and I have to put up and shut up. And guess what, I do.
“I respect your need to keep things quiet. I don’t push. I don’t prod. I want the same courtesy that I’ve shown you.”
“We pledged vows to our country, Gia,” Josh snapped. “This is different. You didn’t.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s my choice. There are things you could tell me, regardless of whether it was breaking some secrecy act. Maybe not major things but small things. Yet you don’t. I wouldn’t tell a soul, and you know that. I’d never do anything to harm either of you or Lexi. But you still don’t tell me.
“I don’t get offended. I don’t get angry. You should afford me the same privilege.”
She leaped off the bed and headed for the bathroom. Any peace she’d found from her orgasms had disappeared. She slammed the door shut and locked it, doing something she hadn’t done for years: barring their access to her.
“Open the damned door, Gia,” Josh bit off, sounding inches away.
“No, I won’t. Privacy—it’s something you two need to learn.”
The sound of a shoulder slamming into the door had her twisting around and staring at the entrance in horror. “What the hell are you doing? Stop that!”
“Josh, stop it. You’re going too far, you idiot,” Luke yelled.
“Open the door, Gia. Open it now, or I’ll knock this damn thing down.” He was panting, the effort from smashing into the door twice draining his energy. When she remained silent, refusing to answer, he went back to work.
Narrowing her eyes, she approached the doorjamb and listened to him as he ran at the piece of wood. The sound of it splintering throttled her with fury, but she timed it. Waiting for him to run at the door and counting how long it took. As he stepped back, intent on hitting it once more, she quietly unlatched the lock. As she heard him charge forward, she jerked on the handle and let it swing wide.
He let out a yell as he ran through the door and went straight into the vanities opposite.
His grunt of pain, an hour ago, would have made her wince in sympathy. Instead, satisfaction flooded her. “You deserved that, Joshua.”
Another grunt escaped him, but she turned away and trawled back into the bedroom. Opposite the bed, there was an armchair onto which they usually threw the day’s clothes, and she collected them in the morning. She threw them onto the floor and took a seat.
Luke, who’d sat up on his elbows, sighed. “Was that necessary?”
“Very necessary, Luke.” She crossed her legs and sat there, as regal as a queen in her nudity. “I wanted a moment’s privacy, and he wouldn’t let me have that. Sometimes people need to be taught lessons.”
Josh made a snarling sound as he staggered into the room. His stomach and shoulder were already bright red from the surface contact with the door and the vanity. They’d bruise like a bitch within hours.
“You should put some ice on your belly and arm, Josh,” Luke remarked calmly. He sat up, leaning against the pillows and watching over the two of them as though he were in state.
In fact, the least emotional of them all, the one who had the most control, was the one in an absolute rage.
It was a rather impressive sight and sexy as hell to boot.
Not that she wanted to make such an admission, not when she was furious with him.
“No more secrets. Do you hear me, Gia?”
His grunt had her back stiffening with more anger. Secrets were the foundation of her world. They kept her and her mother safe. Without secrets, the two of them could die. Murdered at the hand of the people they’d been running from for the past decade and a half.
“You don’t know what that means, Josh,” she stated. “You don’t know what you’re asking from me.”
He frowned at her, and that frown told her he’d expected a blank “Yes, Josh” for an answer. That he hadn’t earned her immediate agreement obviously didn’t sit well with him. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“There are certain things I can’t tell you. Certain things I won’t tell you because they’re not my secrets to tell.”
The tips of his ears started to turn red. “Are you being serious?”
“Deadly.” She pursed her lips. “I’m certain if you can hack into army bases and records, then you can hack into mine. In fact, I’m certain you already ran a security check on me when you selected me as your surrogate.” She had her answer when the upper curves of his cheekbones turned a dull red. “But you can hack away, because there’s nothing to find.”
“Gia?” Luke butted in. “What are you talking about?”
She’d have loved to hurl the truth at them both, to tell them just why some secrets had to be kept. But she couldn’t. Instead, she firmed her jaw and told them, “I trust in you. I have faith in you both. I know you’ll tell me what you can and that what you can’t, there must be a reason for it.
“I need you to show me the same courtesy. I didn’t tell you about the writing, because I was protecting you. It was still very much, ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell.’ In fact, they repealed the act that year, but I knew the attitude was in force. I wasn’t putting you in a position where you had to further excuse me. It was weird enough you having your surrogate live in with you.”
“We’re big boys, Gia,” Luke replied. “We could have handled it.”
“I’m certain you could, but remember, I didn’t know you then.”
“No, but you know us now. And the act was repealed, as you said,” Josh bit off. “There’s been nothing keeping you from telling us in all the years since.”
She jerked a shoulder. “Habit.”
“Habit?” The sound was almost a squeak. Josh was at the end of his tether. He turned to Luke and snapped, “Am I going insane here?”
“No. You’re not, but what’s done is done.”
“That’s no excuse.”
“Maybe not, but she did what she did to protect us, and that’s a hard habit to break
, I’m sure.”
Josh shook his head. The movement was sharp, jerky, like he was trying to throw off his anger and irritation. “I’m going to the base. I’ll sleep there tonight.”
Luke frowned. “Don’t be stupid, Josh.”
“There’s work to be done, Luke,” Gia mocked. “Work we’re never allowed to know. But that’s okay. Because Josh is the big bad brigadier general.”
“Don’t start, Gia.” Josh hissed, striding to the closet and pulling on some clean BDUs.
“I’m not starting anything, simply saying it how it is.”
“Leave it, Gia. Let him cool off.”
She started to sneer, then, realizing her fight wasn’t with Luke, turned her head away and stared out the window. When Josh stalked out of the room, without a farewell to either of his partners, she turned back to look at the remaining lover, who was staring straight at her.
His face was blank, but his eyes were stormy.
“I won’t say sorry.”
“You should. That was totally unnecessary,” he remarked quietly.
“You might think so, but I don’t. I’m tired of being questioned, of having my actions judged. I’m an adult, a grown woman. I can do what I want to do.”
“Who the hell has been questioning you, judging you?” he demanded.
She pursed her lips. “My mother.”
“Your mother?” He blinked. “Wha…? When?”
“This past week.”
He studied her for a second. “She was why you went to Lafayette?”
A single nod was her answer.
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Because it wasn’t on a need-to-know basis.” When his lips tightened, she got to her feet and strode over to the bathroom. “I’m having a bath.”
“You can’t leave it like that, Gia.”
“Oh, yes, I can,” she hollered, and she damn well intended to have the last word too.
Chapter Ten
Josh smashed his fists into the punching bag. One-two, one-two. Sweat flecked the leathery surface and dotted the floor around him. He was improperly suited up for this impromptu workout, and his fingers would pay for it in the morning, but he didn’t care. His aggression was over the top, and he needed to burn it off because if he didn’t, he’d stay in this bad mood for hours. Days, even.
The Strength of Love Page 12
