Oh, she remembered all right, even though she’d been doing her best to forget. For the past several centuries, members of the royal family had spent their wedding night out in the desert. She knew that somewhere a large tent had been set up. Not just any tent, but a white one, filled with pillows and tapestries and a big bed on a dais. There would be trays of food, bottles of champagne and wine, scented oils, and who knows what other items to delight the senses.
“Here we go,” Jamal said as he stopped in front of two carved double doors.
Heidi stared, then licked her lips. “These would be, ah, your rooms?”
“Our rooms now. When we get back tomorrow, we’ll have your things moved here from the harem.”
They were going to share rooms…and a bed. A strangled cry caught in her throat. She did her best to hold it back, and if her new husband heard the squeak that escaped, he didn’t comment.
“Fatima told me you were taking riding lessons,” he said as he pushed the right-hand door open and led the way inside. “She said you wanted to be able to ride to our marriage tent. Do you feel ready, or would you rather take a Jeep?”
It was a reasonable question, she thought as she took in the large open living room with its magnificent view of the Arabian Sea. She had a brief impression of comfortable furniture and lots of artwork before she forced herself to concentrate on the question.
“I can ride a horse,” she said, hoping her voice wasn’t shaking too much. “I’ve been practicing. I’m not ready to race or take on one of the stallions, but with a well-tempered gelding and a not-too-fast pace, I’ll be fine.”
Jamal reached up and lifted the veil off her face. Then he tugged off her headpiece and tossed it on a nearby chair.
“Tell me again that you’ll be fine,” he said.
He, too, wore ceremonial robes. His were the same thick creamy, white material, although not decorated. His formal headdress made him look dangerous and uncivilized, which didn’t help her frame of mind at all. She was going to have to take her clothes off and let this man touch her and do those other things with her. Since she’d agreed to the marriage, she’d tried to ignore that reality, but that was impossible when it was standing right in front of her, so to speak.
“Everything is wonderful,” she said through gritted teeth.
He smiled. “You’re not a good liar, which is a positive quality in one’s spouse.” He jerked his head to the right. “You’ll find your riding clothes in there. Go on and get changed. I’ll meet you at the stable in fifteen minutes.”
She did as he requested. The room she entered was small—obviously a dressing room. Her riding clothes and boots waited for her on a small table. There was also a brush and ribbon with which to secure her hair. She stared at the items. Jamal had thought of everything. He’d even left her alone to gather her composure, which was very nice of him. Obviously he was trying to put her at her ease. She wished it wasn’t going to be such an uphill battle.
Heidi walked into the stable like a martyr approaching the stake. She held her head high, but Jamal could see she was shaking, and there was an air of panic about her, as if she might bolt at any moment.
He wanted to tell her that there wasn’t all that much to fear, but he wasn’t sure she would believe him. There was no delicate way to explain that while he fully intended to begin their journey toward intimacy, he didn’t plan on them becoming lovers that night. Heidi was obviously inexperienced. He found her appealing enough that he wanted to make love with her, but there wasn’t any rush. They were married—they would have the rest of their lives together.
He stayed quiet, giving her a few minutes to gather her composure. He took the time to study her. He’d only ever seen her in shapeless dresses. He was pleasantly surprised by the curvy shape her tailored blouse and riding breeches exposed.
She had the full breasts and hips of a woman born to please a man. Her waist was small, her legs long enough to make her both elegant and appealing. She was also wearing makeup for the first time he could remember. Her eyes looked larger, even with her glasses, and a dark stain emphasized her mouth.
He’d thought of Heidi as pleasant, intelligent and funny, but this was the first time he’d thought of her as sexy. He could imagine her naked, and the image pleased him.
“How are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m ready,” she said, sounding as if she were preparing for an execution.
“Take you now, and get it over with?” he teased, meaning her death sentence.
Heidi paled and took a step back. “Here? In the stable?”
She looked around frantically. He wasn’t sure if she was checking to see if they were alone, or searching for a way out.
“Calm down,” he told her. “That isn’t what I meant.”
He motioned for one of the grooms to bring out their horses. After she’d mounted and adjusted her seat, he did the same, then led the way around the rear of the stable. There a dozen soldiers sat on their horses. The men were armed as if going into combat. Several held torches to illuminate their way in the early-evening darkness. As he and Heidi approached, they parted, making room for them in the middle of their group.
Heidi looked around in amazement. “You really were worried that I’d run away.”
“Not exactly. Tradition dictates that we spend our first night out in the desert. But we’re both members of the royal family. It makes sense to have a little protection.”
She glanced at the men and swallowed. “You don’t do anything by halves, do you?”
She’d given him a great opportunity to tease her about wanting to finish every job he started. But he didn’t. For one thing, she wouldn’t get the joke. For another, she was already so skittish that she might make good on her desire to take off running.
He called out to the men, then released his tight hold on his stallion’s reins. Immediately the large black horse began to trot. The animal shook his head, trying to get Jamal to let him streak across the desert as they did most mornings on their ride, but Jamal was careful to keep him under control. Heidi might have been taking riding lessons so that she was reasonably comfortable in the saddle, but he knew she wasn’t ready for a mad dash at a full gallop.
She kept pace with him, and the soldiers fanned out around them. The early-evening air was still stiflingly hot.
“Can you talk and ride?” he asked. “Or do you need to concentrate?”
“I’m a woman,” she called to him. “I was born to multitask.”
Jamal grinned. “We’re going to have to work on your prejudices. It’s bad form to hate an entire gender.”
“I don’t hate men,” she said, giving him a quick glance before returning her attention to keeping her horse in line. “I think you’re a bit overrated, but that’s not hating. Men have ruled women and the world by virtue of their gender for several hundred years.”
“Cream always rises to the top,” he replied.
“This isn’t about cream. It’s about ruling through physical and mental intimidation. We all have strengths and weaknesses. The difference is, most women are willing to discuss both, while most men only want to talk about their strengths.”
“That’s because we don’t have any weaknesses. We’re perfect.”
She rolled her eyes. “Give me a break. If you’re so perfect, how come your gender hasn’t figured out a way to have children on your own. Then you could free yourself from the weaker sex.”
“You shouldn’t say such negative things about yourself. I don’t think of you as weak…or unintelligent.”
She lunged for him, which made her horse shy. Heidi yelped, then got back her control.
“You didn’t answer the question,” she said.
“Why would men want to do without women? We adore women.”
“Because they serve you,” she grumbled.
“No. Because they complement us. And I mean complement with an e, not an i. Women are our other halves. Men need women.”
Heidi
looked at him. “I wouldn’t have thought of you as needing anyone.”
He didn’t. He never had. For a brief time he’d thought he might want to love a woman, but Yasmin had taught him the error of his ways.
They crested the hill leading into the valley where they would make camp. Instead of responding, he pointed to the large white tent in the distance.
“Want to race?” he asked.
“Only if I get a significant head start. You’re a better rider, and I suspect your horse is faster.”
“How much of one do you want?”
She laughed. “Why don’t you stay here until I get to the tent? Then you can start.”
Before he could answer her challenge, she’d urged her horse into a canter, then a gallop. She leaned down, hugging the animal’s neck. Her shirt billowed out around her, and her braid snapped like a flag.
Jamal watched her for a few seconds, then decided he was less concerned about keeping to her rules than having her break her neck. He let his stallion have its head and went streaking after her.
He caught up with her nearly halfway to the tent, and they rode into camp together. Heidi laughed as she reined in her horse and slid to the ground.
“That was great,” she said. “I’ve been practicing, but only in a ring. I haven’t been out in the desert since I was twelve or thirteen. I’d forgotten how much fun it was.”
Torches encircled the camp. Their flickering light illuminated the high color on her face and the pleasure in her eyes. She’d forgotten to be nervous, he thought, pleased that she was relaxed.
“I go riding most mornings,” he said, motioning for her to precede him. “You’re welcome to join me whenever you would like.”
She smiled at him over her shoulder. “That would be very nice. Thank you.”
She pushed through the main entrance into the tent. A smaller structure stood inside the larger. She made her way into the second tent and stopped. Jamal followed her.
The preparations were much as he expected. Tapestries lined the walls, and thick rugs covered the canvas floor. There were stacks of pillows, a large bed on a dais, and trays of food on low tables. Rose petals had been scattered all over the room, and an open bottle of champagne awaited them. It was romantic, private and unique.
Heidi hadn’t moved since she’d walked into the tent. He circled around until he was in front of her, then saw that her good spirits had faded. The color had fled from her face, and she was shaking again.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
She shook her head. “I really think I’m going to be sick.”
Chapter 5
“Words every bridegroom longs to hear,” Jamal said lightly.
Heidi clamped her hand over her mouth and moaned. “I’m sorry. I can’t believe I said that. How horrible.”
“Don’t worry about it,” her new husband told her.
Heidi wanted to believe him…desperately. Her plan had not been to get it all wrong, but here she was—messing up at every opportunity.
Jamal crossed to the low table by the bed and picked up one of the champagne glasses. He held it out to her. When she shook her head in refusal, he downed the bubbly liquid in one large gulp. Oh, great. She’d been married for all of three hours, and she was already driving her husband to drink.
She twisted her fingers together and tried not to notice how very large the bed was or how there wasn’t much other furniture in the tent. They couldn’t have made it more clear with a neon sign proclaiming Ritual Deflowering—One Night Only.”
She drew in a deep breath, then pressed her hands against her writhing stomach. “We have to talk,” she said. “You know, about something innocuous. So I can relax.”
Jamal poured himself another glass of champagne. “You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. I’m not going to attack you. In fact, I won’t do anything you don’t want to do.”
“Oh.”
She wanted to believe. Deep down inside, she really wanted to know that he was telling the truth. Except she didn’t. In her limited experience with men—as in both her dates—the guys had only been interested in one thing. She knew too many women who had been forced into sexual relationships they didn’t want. The good news was, Jamal was trying to be gentlemanly about it.
He sat on the edge of the bed. “All right. Innocuous conversation. Aside from riding, what other princess activities did you study while in the harem?”
A vision of the rather racy books Fatima had left on her nightstand filled her mind. She’d never actually read one, although she had glanced at a few of the pictures…and had been horrified. Everyone was so naked and doing things together. To be honest, some of the positions had terrified her. She wasn’t that flexible and if she was, wouldn’t they put a strain on her back?
“I—I didn’t study anything else,” she said, backing away from him. Her leg hit a low table, and she found herself stumbling back as she lost her balance. She landed on a pile of cushions.
She pushed herself into a kneeling position and fought back the tears burning in her eyes. “Look, we have to talk about it,” she said.
“What it are you referring to?”
“That ‘it.”’ She pointed to the bed on which he sat. “I can’t do this. I can’t have sex with a stranger.”
“I told you, that’s not expected.”
“Good, because I really need to get to know you better.” Like for the next five years, she thought.
“Fine.” He drew in a deep breath. “Heidi, I’m not interested in terrifying you. This isn’t going to be horrible.”
“I appreciate your faith in me, but I think it’s a little misplaced.” She steeled herself to speak the absolute truth. He was her husband, and he deserved that much from her. “I don’t plan to enjoy sex. I mean, I’ve never understood the point of it. To me, marriage is more a spiritual and mental union between two people.”
Jamal stared at her without saying a word. His expression tightened a little, but otherwise he seemed fine. Maybe he would understand, she thought hopefully.
She swallowed, then continued. “I’ve always believed that any physical passion is highly overrated. There was a show on cable a few years back. They remade Pride and Prejudice, which is this terrific book. Anyway, the hero, Mr. Darcy, is the most wonderfully kind man and perfect husband. He really respects the heroine. He’s gracious and well mannered and restrained.” She smiled at the memory of how he looked at Elisabeth Bennett—complete infatuation combined with great longing. “He was fabulous and all I’ve ever wanted in man.”
“You’re in love with a character in a book?”
His voice didn’t exactly thunder in the tent, but it was close enough to make Heidi shiver.
“No, of course not. He’s just different from other men.”
“That could be because he’s not real.”
She shook her head. “You’re missing my point.”
“Oh, please. Enlighten me.”
Heidi tried to figure out what Jamal was thinking, but his face was completely blank.
“I absolutely intend to respect your animal passions,” she assured him. “But I’m hoping that we can eventually rise above them to a higher form of marriage.”
Jamal rose slowly to his feet. He carefully set the champagne glass on the table, then turned to the bed. In one quickly powerful movement, he stripped away the top layer of covers.
“Worry not, my good wife,” he growled as he turned to face her. “I promise not to offend you with my animal passions or any other part of myself. I’ll sleep on the floor tonight, and when we return to the palace in the morning, I will be most careful to stay out of your way.”
Heidi supervised the last of her belongings as they were transferred into Jamal’s suite. At first she’d thought it might be better to stay in the harem but that would have required explanations she was not prepared to make.
As far as wedding nights went, theirs had been less than perfect. The worst part was, she
couldn’t figure out what exactly had gone wrong.
Obviously Jamal had been angered by her talk of Mr. Darcy and her hopes that their marriage would move to a higher plane…one that didn’t involve physical intimacy. But she wasn’t talking about now. Maybe she hadn’t made it clear that she intended to do her wifely duty for as long as it took for him to be satisfied. Surely in a year or two he would be willing to put all that behind him. But Jamal had overreacted to her thoughts on the subject, and now they weren’t even speaking.
She sighed as she remembered the silent ride back to the palace. His simmering hostility had been a painful contrast to the gentle teasing of the evening before. Once in the palace, he grabbed her arm, hustled her into their suite and pointed out the spare bedroom.
“You’ll be happier in here,” he’d told her, and then had left.
Heidi stood in the center of that room now, looking at the lace-covered bed. The mattress was full-sized but still much smaller than the one in the main bedroom of the suite. There wasn’t a balcony, but she did have a lovely view of the gardens, and the private bathroom was more than adequate. To be honest, the room was nicer than any she’d had while at school. She should be very happy here.
Except…
Heidi walked back into the living room. Rihana and the other servants had finished moving her clothes. In truth, that hadn’t taken very long—she didn’t have many things and as Jamal’s new wife, she would be expected to upgrade her wardrobe, as befitted a new princess. Which meant a shopping trip to Paris and London. But the thought of shopping didn’t thrill her. She didn’t have much in the way of fashion sense. For a while she’d thought Jamal might come with her and help. After all, he’d had all those lovely women in his life, and most of them had dressed beautifully. However, she doubted that he would be willing to accompany her anywhere now.
Heidi looked at the long, light green sofa, the comfortable club chairs and the low coffee table. There were colorful paintings on the wall by the small dining alcove and a mural of a forest against the back wall. Opposite the sofa were the French doors leading out to the main balcony and beyond them a view of the sea.
The Sheik's Arranged Marriage Page 6
