But that would be rude. And Gary didn't tolerate rudeness. Even from an ex-wife.
So, Allie swallowed hard, squared her shoulders, and nodded. "Yes." It came out a faint whisper.
Paige didn't look convinced. "Alright," she said. "I'll be just through there if you need me."
Allie nodded, grateful that her sister wasn't going to leave her completely alone.
"Aren't you going to introduce us?" Gary asked, looking to Paige as though she were something he would scrape off the bottom of his shoe.
"Paige Greene," Paige said, thrusting a hand toward Gary. Allie could almost see Gary physically recoil at the gesture before he tentatively gripped her hand in his. "Allie's sister."
"Sister?" Gary said, eyes widening as he glanced back to Allie.
"Guess Mom didn't tell you everything, then," Allie said, feeling just the tiniest bit triumphant. Though she didn't know why.
Gary turned his attention back to Paige, his smile warming. Just like him. "Gary Crawford. Allie's husband."
Paige gasped, dropping his hand as though he had burned her.
Allie glared at Gary. "Ex-husband." She put as much emphasis being the "ex" as she could.
Gary shrugged. "Semantics."
Paige looked back and forth between the two of them. "I'll just be right through there." Then she bolted.
Sucking in a deep breath, Allie tried to gain control over herself, over her rampant emotions.
"Why are you here?" she asked, her voice low. She tightened her fists at her sides in an effort to maintain calm and collected in front of him.
"You've put on weight," Gary noted, giving a slight tsk in disapproval. Allie stiffened. "I'm here because you haven't been returning my messages. And you haven't reached out to your mother."
"Excuse me?" Allie burst out. "I did to reach out. I called her just two days ago. She never answered and she never called back. And I've responded to all of your messages, thank you. There is no reason for you to be here, unless you're actually trying to control my life. Which, I will remind you, you don't have the right to do anymore. You never had the right to control me."
"What on earth has gotten into you?" Gary asked, his eyes round with surprise.
At the question, Allie deflated. She was behaving like a child. Just because she didn't like somebody didn't give her the right to behave in such a way.
"I'm sorry," she said, wrapping her arms around herself. "I just needed some time to myself and I wasn't expecting you to show up."
"Don't fall back on excuses, Allison," Gary said, his voice hard. Allie winced. The use of her full name made her feel as though she were in trouble. And maybe she was.
"Why are you here?" Allie tried again.
"I think it's time you come home. I don't know what you're looking for, but I assure you, it's back home in New York. You don't need to be... roughing it out here anymore. You and I can work things out."
Allie felt glued to the floor. Funny, not even thirty minutes ago, she felt as though she could fly, only to be knocked right back down onto the cold, hard ground.
"I didn't fly all the way out here to say hello, then leave. I'm here to take you home."
The words made Allie freeze. She didn't want to go back. She didn't think she ever wanted to go back. And it wasn't until that moment that she realized why.
There was nothing for her in New York.
But Gary was right. She couldn't pretend any longer. She needed to go back to New York, to continue her life. It was a pipe dream to think she could start over in a new place, with a new family, as though she belonged.
So, she nodded. She lowered her head, tears weighing heavy in her eyes. She didn't want Gary to see them. To tease her for them, or worse, to try to hug her because of them.
"I'll," she began, her throat choking on the words. "I'll just go pack my belongings. Then we can go."
"Excellent. I'll be right here."
Allie headed for the staircase. Her feet felt heavy as she climbed the steps, as though trying to convince her to just go back down, tell Gary no, and demand that he leave.
She wasn't as brave and courageous as Morris had believed.
At the thought, the tears broke free on a quiet sob. Allie raced up the stairs, desperate to get away before she lost all control.
Morris.
Her heart broke over the thought of leaving him. So soon.
Allie burst into her room, shutting the door quietly behind her. She didn't need anybody else to worry over her.
Tears flowed freely. As she packed up her belongings, she prayed. Long, desperate prayers that she wasn't sure would ever be answered. She wasn't even sure what she was praying for. She thought of Morris, of Max and the family, of the foal, Chip, of Maribel and Daisy. She had only been here a week, and it had been the best week of her life.
Only for all of it to crash down on top of her.
She had just finished packing the rest of her things when a soft knock sounded on the door.
Shame and embarrassment filled her. She shouldn't allow anybody to see her in this condition. She was expected to keep up appearances for appearances’ sake. She had been hoping to just slip away into the night and never come back and face this sort of humiliation again.
"Allie?" the deep voice called through the door. Max. The father she had come all this way to see.
"Come in," she said, frantically wiping away the tears on her face.
The door swung open, revealing a man who looked older than Allie had ever seen him. His mouth turned downward, his eyebrows heavy, the wrinkles around his eyes and mouth deeper than before. But it was more than that. His shoulders slumped forward, as though carrying too much weight. And his hair, usually combed back, was tousled.
Max stepped into the room and closed it behind him. Then he stood there, observing Allie and the suitcase that she was just about to close.
"Would you tell me what's going on?" he asked, though he seemed to have a pretty good idea of it. Still, Allie appreciated the effort he made to allow her to talk. To explain.
"I have to go," Allie said after long moments searching for the right thing to say. "You and I both know I don't belong here."
"Is that what he said to you?" Max asked, anger coloring his face. Allie was taken aback, having never seen Max like this before.
"I…" Allie hesitated. She didn't want to hurt Max. "It's true. I should go back to New York."
Max turned away then, raising his hands up to his face and rubbing it vigorously. Allie waited, wondered what he would say.
"Of course," Max said after a moment. "New York is your home. We all knew that."
Allie's heart finished breaking completely in two. For one brief moment, she had hoped that Max would have put his foot down, that he would say no, she wasn't going anywhere, and to unpack her things while he sent Gary on his way.
But that was just a fantasy.
She understood that Max probably thought he was doing what was best. After all, he hadn't even been the one to reach out to her for fear of disturbing her life in New York.
It still didn't hurt any less.
Allie swallowed the fresh wave of tears, looking back down to her suitcase as Max turned back to her.
"Can I just say," Max began, then hesitated. Allie looked back up to him, watched him square his shoulders. "It was an honor and a pleasure to finally meet you. I understand you have your life in New York, but you are more than welcome to come back to Greene Pastures anytime you want."
Allie nodded, then squeezed her eyes shut. "Thank you for welcoming me here. I knew it wasn't the most conventional meeting, but I'm glad it happened."
Max smiled then. "That Paige. She knows what she's doing some of the time." Then Max turned back to the door. Casting a look over his shoulder, he added, "You'll keep in touch?"
The nod happened before Allie to stop herself. "Of course," she added. "I'll continue to help with the finance side of things, too, don't worry."
"I'm not worr
ied about that," Max said, opening the door. "Have a safe trip."
Then the door shut behind him and Max was gone.
Allie stood there, just trying to catch her breath between sobs until she could breathe easily. Then she zipped up her suitcase, grabbed her purse, and left the bedroom.
Gary was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, looking impatient and bored. None of the rest of the family was in sight. Allie didn't know why that hurt as much as it did. She was leaving them. Of course they wouldn't want to say goodbye.
"Ah, finally," Gary said. "Let's go."
He didn't take Allie's suitcase. He opened the door so he could see himself through, leaving Allie to close it behind her. He opened the trunk of the car, leaving Allie to heft her suitcase into it.
Before, Allie would have been just fine with all of that behavior, knowing she was more than capable of taking care of herself. But now, after a week of kind gestures, Allie only found herself growing more and more irritated at Gary's actions, or inaction.
It was only when Gary pulled away from the house that Allie noticed Paige's car was missing.
____________
Morris supervised the unloading of the cattle he had purchased earlier during the day's auction. Jake had been with him during the event, offering insight for which would be a good addition to the ranch. Morris knew all of this from years working with his father, but it was nice to have a second mind to bounce his ideas off of.
He really should offer Jake the position of Foreman to the ranch. He had more than earned it over the past few months. Sure, he had left and gone to college for a short time, but Jake had been working on the ranch off and on for over eight years. It was time that kind of loyalty, and his positive “can do” attitude, were rewarded.
Especially if he and Allie were going to try for some sort of relationship. They hadn’t talked about it yet, but that kiss on the Ferris wheel told Morris all he needed to know.
He loved Allie and he was going to do anything he could to keep her.
Morris began to make plans for what he could show Allie this next week. It would be a good trial run for Jake, too, provided that the calves would hold out just a little bit longer.
"Boss?" Jake called from just outside the barn. "I think it's time."
Morris' stomach dropped.
So much for those plans.
“Jake, take Dave and Kyle. I want the three of you to make sure we cut out the heavies and start moving them into the calving shed if necessary. I’m going to call Cam so he’s on standby in case we need him. I’ll join you in a moment. The rest of you, hurry up and get some sleep. You’re going to need it.”
His men nodded. Jake, Dave, and Kyle raced off to the stables. Cutting the heavies from the herd was best done on horseback. The rest quickly finished the offload of the new cows and bulls. Then they hightailed it out of there. Many of them had been through a birthing season before, and they knew it would be their last chance at any shut-eye for a good while.
Not for the first time, Morris thought he was a lucky man to have such loyal friends and employees.
Morris had finished his call to Cam and was examining a few of the heavies, estimating how much time they had before the calves began to drop, when Paige ran into the shed.
"Paige?" Morris said, startled. He straightened and rushed toward her. "What's wrong?"
Frustration and worry played on Paige’s face. She looked near tears. "It's Allie. You need to stop her," she said.
Morris felt his insides grow cold. "What are you talking about?"
"Allie. She..." Paige sucked in a deep breath to try to calm herself. "Her husband, ex-husband I guess, just showed up at Greene Pastures and is taking Allie back to New York."
"Right now?" Morris asked, head spinning.
Husband? Ex-husband?
Why hadn't Allie mentioned that little important detail to him before?
"Yes, they’re probably already gone by now." Paige grabbed his hand and began to tug him out of the barn.
"I can't."
Paige stopped and whipped around. "What do you mean, 'you can't?'"
Morris gestured toward the cows. "Calving. Several heavies are already in labor."
Paige deflated. Then she looked up at Morris as though she had expected him to do better.
But he couldn't. He couldn't do better. This was his life and he had hoped that Allie could have accepted that.
Something clearly had happened after Morris had left Allie at the fair. She must have changed her mind about them.
Just like Stacie.
He should have insisted on taking her home. Maybe then he could have convinced her to stay.
No, no don't get stuck down that rabbit hole.
He wouldn't be selfish. After all, isn’t that exactly what Stacie had accused him of so long ago? Allie had decided to leave, for whatever reason. To chase her down, beg her to stop, would only create more heartache for both of them. She had a life in New York. A life she had built for herself. A life he couldn't be a part of.
He had already told himself that if he never got the chance to hold her again, their afternoon together would be enough. Had to be enough.
So why did it feel as though his heart had been ripped out and thrown onto the dirty, dusty ground?
"If she really wants to go back to New York, I can't stop her," Morris said, turning back to the cows. "I just have to let her go."
Silence lay thick between them. Morris wished Paige would just leave him in his misery.
"You love her," Paige whispered.
Morris didn't acknowledge her. He stared out into the darkness.
"Well, you're wrong," Paige said harshly. "She doesn't want to go back to New York. She just doesn't know it yet."
And with that, Paige stormed right back out of the shed and into the night.
Morris didn't move for long moments, and when he did, it was only to brace himself against the gate of one of the pens. Then he did the only thing he felt he could do in his situation.
He bowed his head and prayed.
____________
Calving season wasn't for the feint of heart, Morris reminded himself when he woke up a couple days later, body aching in places he forgot he had. It was something his father had always told him. In his mind, it was perhaps the most difficult time to be a cattle rancher. All those new calves. Some would live, others would not. And all of his cowhands worked themselves raw to insure most of the births went right.
Most of the time was spent segregating the heavies to an area closest to the birthing shed. It was called a shed but “small stables” was a more accurate term. Then came observing and stepping in when necessary. It was long, hard hours during a time of year when the cold hadn't quite let the world loose from its icy grip. The rain had started up again, making the entire process just that much more miserable with its chilling presence.
It looked like the end of the first wave of births would wrap up soon. They always came in waves. He supposed it was God's way of giving man a break.
After working for more than forty-eight hours straight, Morris had showered, eaten enough food for three meals, then collapsed onto his bed where dreams met him.
He dreamed of Allie, of their time together. The horseback riding lessons, the ride from the airport, naming Chip. Their last time together at the fair. Sharing food. The Ferris wheel.
What would their time together have looked like if she had stayed? He would have taken her riding on his land, brought a picnic along. He would have taken her hiking up into the mountains. Perhaps even cooked a meal or two with her.
He never wanted to wake up from those dreams.
But he did, only to feel more miserable than before he had fallen asleep. His heart ached. His head hurt. And that was on top of the state of his aching body.
The work had been enough to distract Morris from the pain, from the inevitable "what-ifs" that plagued him. The moments where he ate, attempted sleep, or showered were the hardest.
What had Allie been thinking when she left? Had she thought, "Oh, well, that was fun. Back to real life now." He refused to believe that.
He wondered what she thought of him. Of all of them. What was it that had made her feel like she had to leave so quickly? Without saying goodbye?
Morris pulled on his clothes, intent on making a large pot of coffee for his men. A large basket of muffins had arrived yesterday afternoon, with explicit instructions to not eat until morning. Morris had grinned at the missive from Eleanor, grateful for her thoughtfulness, until he was reminded of the apple pie Paige and Allie had made for him.
A Delivered Heart Page 15
