by Faust, Megan
“Hi, Alice, I’m Brant.”
“I know. That’s a romance novel you’re holding.”
He gave the book a sharp look and jammed it back on the shelf. When he looked back she had already slipped away.
* * * *
As soon as Brant had stormed away Seth moved closer to the window. The pale blonde intrigued him, if only because Brant seemed obsessed with her. She looks so frightened; I wonder what scared her so badly that she won’t even talk to anyone. He saw her jump and thought she’d seen him but then he noticed his brother. He wanted the scene unfold, without sound, and he wanted to reach through the window and tell his brother to piss off and leave the poor girl alone.
Doesn’t he see how scared she is? he thought as she hugged the book to her chest. She looks like she’s being attacked by the class bully.
When she finally managed to give Brant the slip Seth headed for the door with a sigh. Brant’s going to be twice as bitchy now.
But the Brant Seth found in the common room, headed for the stairs, didn’t look angry, he looked energetic and determined. “Seth, did you see her? Did she go your way?”
“Did I see who?” Seth asked though he was pretty sure he already knew.
“That blonde girl from the dining room this morning. Alice. Her name is Alice.”
“Brant, slow down. Dr. Hurd said no romantic or sexual relationships, remember?”
“I just want to talk to her, since when is that romantic or sexual? Can you help me find her?”
“If I were her I’d be in one of two places: the girls’ washroom or my bedroom.”
“Why?”
“Because those are the two places you can’t follow. Now give it a rest. Let’s go check out the entertainment room.”
“I just came from there. They have two treadmills, two stationary bikes, and two televisions, one of which is playing soap operas right now. I’m just going to look upstairs, okay?”
“Brant!” It was no use; he was already taking the stairs two at a time. Seth sighed and settled onto a vacant couch to wait.
The redhead came in from the garden and smiled at him. He smiled politely back and looked down at his watch. When he looked up again she had settled beside him on the couch. “Hi there, I’m Penny. Who’s the surly fellow I saw you with last night?”
“Uh, that’s my brother.”
“Oh good I thought maybe you two were a couple.”
“No, definitely not.”
“Relax, I’m just teasing. At least he’s not that bad looking. What brings your brother here?”
“Same as everyone else here—addiction.”
“It takes all types you know. What was it? Dope? Coke? Meth? I had a friend who was hooked on Meth, that’s not pretty. Poor thing looked like a skeleton, and she couldn’t stop shaking.”
“I think if he wants you to know that he’ll tell you about it. It’s really not my place, excuse me.”
She caught his arm. “Don’t go. I’ll stop prying, I promise. It’s just so nice to have a new face around here. That little mouse of a girl was the last one to check in. She showed up two weeks ago with nothing but the clothes on her back and they were shabby, like she was homeless or something disgusting like that. Once of the kitchen ladies had to bring her clothes.
“I don’t know how she can afford to be here but it wouldn’t surprise me if she was paying on her back. Those doctors make a big show of not staring at our curves, not that she has any to speak of, but that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t let a bed warmer like her in to spice up their working day. I’m not naïve; I know how the world works.”
“You don’t even know the poor woman’s name and you’re spreading this garbage around like it’s gospel. Maybe you know how this world works because you’ve paid your way on your back before but ….”
The slap across his face cut him short. “How dare you call me a whore?!”
“At least I said it to your face, which is more than I can say for you, Penny. Stop talking shit about people you don’t know.”
She laughed. “Why? Because your brother has his tail in a knot over her? I saw him talking to her at breakfast; good luck with that, she never talks to anyone. I’m outta here; you’re not worth my time. Maybe your brother will be more entertaining.”
Seth rubbed his cheek as he watched her disappear in to the television room. Some sense made him look over his shoulder. Alice stood with her back to the bathroom door. She smiled the tiniest of smiles at him. How long has she been standing there? God, how much of Penny’s crap did she hear? Fromm the hurt on her face I’d say most of it, poor girl. He started to stand, thinking maybe he could reassure her in some way, but the sound of footsteps had them both looking towards the stairs. Brant was at the top, scowling. Alice darted back into the bathroom and Seth moved to intercept his brother.
“I didn’t see her. I thought about knocking on doors but then I thought she probably wouldn’t answer if I did knock. I tried a few doorknobs but they were all locked.”
“You tried to open other people’s doors? Brant, there are cameras in the hallway; now the staff are going to think you’re a thief or something.”
“I didn’t go in anywhere, relax. You always overreact about these things.”
“I have to because you never think them through.”
“Did you see her?”
Seth stared straight at his brother and ignored the bathroom door completely. “No, I haven’t seen her at all. Come on, I want to catch the news.”
* * * *
Brant paid little attention to anything for the rest of the day. He kept scanning the room he was in, peering through doorways, and going for random walks. Each time he failed to locate Alice he’d come back angrier and more determined than ever.
He skipped lunch completely, choosing to hover near the dining room door from 11:30 until nearly two o’clock. He grudgingly sat and ate dinner only because he was tired of Seth’s pestering and he really was hungry. But he sat where he could see the door and ate so slowly that Seth actually had to poke him several times to make him take another bite. They stayed in the dining room until the kitchen staff had packed up and the cleaning crew arrived.
Brant stormed up to his room and dropped roughly into one of the chairs. “Where is she?”
“Brant, unless you want to starve the poor girl I suggest you give her some space. Just smile politely at her when you see her at breakfast tomorrow and don’t say anything. Dr. Hurd said some of the patients would rather be left alone. Maybe you should respect that, especially after the stink you kicked up yesterday about not getting to know anyone while you were here.”
“I can’t Seth. I have to talk to her.”
“Why? What are you going to say?”
“I don’t know. She sort of makes my mind go blank. But I’ll think of something.”
“Fine. You think. I’m going back to the hotel to call Mom. They’re an hour later than us.”
“Hmm? Okay, sure. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Seth paused at the door. “Promise me you’ll leave the poor girl alone, okay?”
Brant smiled as he closed the door. “Good night Seth.”
Chapter Three
Brant didn’t sleep well. Odd noises and strange dreams woke him at least every hour and at one point he’d sat staring at the glowing numbers on the clock for half an hour before swearing out loud and stubbornly rolling over. His only long stretch of sleep came when he drifted off at 6:30. Two hours later he was swearing and rushing to get ready before he missed breakfast.
He clambered down the stairs, tripping over the second last step and barely catching his balance before he ended up nose down on the carpet. He took a deep breath. Steady Brant, you’re not that tired.
Penny came out of the dining room and smiled seductively at him. “Dishevelled suits you.”
He didn’t reply but he did try to flatten his hair with one hand as he entered the dining room. He saw Alice and almost went over to talk t
o her but Seth’s advice made him pause. When she happened to look up he smiled, gave her a slight nod, and went to get a tray. When he was done paying he was surprised to find she was still there, and she was sneaking a glance at him. He smiled again and walked over to her table. “Good morning, Alice. I’m sorry if I startled you yesterday. Maybe I’ll see you later?”
When she looked to the door instead of answering he smiled again. “Enjoy the rest of your breakfast.” He moved on to another table and even waved to Seth when he came in.
“You look terrible,” Seth said as he sat down.
“I feel terrible. I hardly slept at all last night.”
“That can happen in a new place, you know. Tomorrow will be better.”
“Yesterday was fine. I don’t have trouble sleeping in new places, I never have.”
“All right, fine, I was just trying to be helpful. I see you left Alice alone this morning.”
“I already talked to her.”
“Brant!”
“Relax; I just said good morning, nothing to go freaking out about. And I apologized for yesterday.”
“Wait, you apologized? You never apologize. You never admit to being wrong!”
“I’ve been wrong before,” Brant said. He smiled and watched Alice leave the dining room, ignoring Seth’s snickering.
“Yeah, we all know you’ve been wrong before. We just weren’t sure you knew that.”
“Can it Seth. It’s not like I was an A plus student in school. I got lots of things wrong.”
“Forgetting the capital of Wyoming or adding before multiplying is not what I meant, Brant, and you know it.”
“Yeah, fine, I’ve made mistakes on the track. I’ve cost us a few races.”
“You’ve stepped on more than your fair share of toes, you leap to conclusions, you alienate people …”
“Bullshit.”
“Bullshit?”
“Yeah, bullshit. The only big mistake I ever made was taking the damn drugs and that wasn’t even my fault!”
“No one shoved the damn pills down your throat, Brant.”
“No one stepped in to stop my foot from getting broken that second time.”
“You’re twisting the past and you know it!”
“You still haven’t given me one concrete example of a time I was wrong.”
“What about Chloe?”
“What did you say?” Brant’s voice had dropped dangerously low.
“You were wrong about Chloe, in New York. You were wrong about Trey, too.”
“I was not wrong about Chloe. She betrayed me, the selfish little bitch, and I’m sure Trey was in on the whole thing from the start. He’s going to use Chloe to hurt me, or another driver, and then she’ll be sorry that she didn’t listen to me.”
As Brant shoved away from the table hard enough to spill his coffee and stormed out of the dining room Seth became painfully aware of the number of people who were staring at him. He forced a smile. “Sorry to interrupt your breakfast everyone.” He slipped from his seat and went in search of Brant.
* * * *
Doctor Keaton was doing his daily paperwork and mentally reviewing his list of appointments for the day. The knock on his door didn’t really startle him but it certainly jarred him out of his train of thought. He finished the sentence he was writing, capped his pen, and crossed to the door. “Alice? Did we have a meeting today?”
Alice smiled her sad smile. “No, we didn’t, but I was hoping, I mean if you’re not busy …”
“I have some time before my first appointment. Come in and get comfortable.” As she sat he said, “What can I do for you today?”
“You know I don’t like talking to people. Other patients, I mean. I don’t mind talking to you so much.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear that last part at least. Has someone been harassing you?”
“Yes, well, no, not really I guess.”
“Alice, did one of the other patients talk to you?”
She seemed to get smaller in the chair. “Yes.”
“Did you ask them to stop?”
“Yes.”
“Did they listen to you?”
“No.”
“Then we consider that harassment, you know that.”
“I know, I just … I didn’t come here to get anyone in trouble.”
You never do, he thought and waited for her to come around to whatever was troubling her.
“You know, Penny was talking about me again.”
“Oh, what was she saying?”
Alice shrugged. “The usual things. She called me a mouse, and a whore. I never sold myself for the drugs and she thinks I’m a whore.”
“We’ve talked about this, Alice. What other people say, it hurts, I won’t deny that. Names do hurt no matter what the nursery rhymes say. But they only have as much power over you as you give them. I’ve talked to Penny but if she hasn’t stopped then the next step is to ask her to leave.”
“She was showing off for the new patient and his friend.” Alice shrugged again.
“Was it Penny who talked to you?”
“No, it was Brant, the new patient.”
“What did he say?”
“He told me his name, and he wanted mine. He apologized for scaring me.”
“That sounds harmless enough. You’re okay?”
“Yeah, I am. I wouldn’t have been before but I think I am now.”
“Well, if it becomes harassment let me know, otherwise maybe you should give yourself permission to step outside your comfort zone, if only once a day. It might help your progress.”
“Maybe,” she said, standing. “Sorry to bother you.” She slipped away like mist in sunlight.
* * * *
Seth searched the entire main floor for Brant but his brother had disappeared. Of course the door to his room was locked so there was a good chance he was sulking in there even though no one answered when he knocked. Seth resigned himself to sitting on one of the couches in the common room until boredom or hunger brought Brant out again. He watched Penny talking with another patient in hushed voices. The other man wandered off, hands shoved deep in pants’ pockets. Penny smiled and winked at Seth before leaving.
The large hand on his shoulder made him jump. Seth looked up hoping to see Brant, but it was only Mr. Everett, the orderly.
Mr. Everett smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes and it faded fast. “Mr. Bye, is your brother in an appointment or the washroom?”
“No, he’s sulking in his room. Did you need him?”
“No. We don’t allow just anybody in here, for their safety and the security of our patients. If you’re not going to be with your brother I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
Seth nodded. “I don’t know how long he’ll be. It’s probably best if I go, I have errands to run. If he’s looking for me I’ll be back in the morning.”
“Thank you for your cooperation Mr. Bye.”
Brant sat in his room with the light off staring at the only thing of interest—the window. His window looked out over the parking lot and the busy street beyond. Between the two grey patches were a wide, well-kept patch of grass and a border of dark leafed shrubs. An orderly stepped out of one of the parked cars and snubbed a cigarette out on the pavement before heading for the door. “Pot, meet kettle,” Brant muttered and the phrase made him think of his no-nonsense mother. A pang of guilt sliced through him and he whispered, “I’ll pay her back for the pills, I swear it.”
The guilt abated but Brant wasn’t sure it was really gone. Refusing to play twenty questions with his emotions he turned his focus outwards to the parking lot. A familiar figure wandered across the lot with his head hung low and his shoulders up. Brant watched Seth get in the car and drive away. Anger was the easiest emotion to call up, the safest to deal with, and Brant felt his hands ball into fists.
“The little bastard, he could at least have come up and told me he was leaving. One fight and he bails on me. It just figures. I won’t
see him again, just wait. I don’t need him.”
He sighed and slumped back against the wall. His foot was suddenly aching.
* * * *
Alice waited until she was sure most of the other patients had gone down for lunch before making her way to the dining room. She paused in the doorway, took a deep breath, and went straight to the dwindling pile of trays. She could feel eyes burning into her back, whether they were really watching her or not didn’t matter, she felt like she was being watched. She took her full tray and walked with as much confidence as possible to towards Brant. She stopped beside his table and in a thin but clear voice said, “Thank you for the apology yesterday. I wanted to say sorry too, for running away in the library. I’m not good with people.”
Brant just stared for a moment, then he swallowed his half-chewed mouthful of sandwich and said, “No, it’s okay. Will you sit with me?”
“No. I don’t want friends right now.” She walked to an empty table behind him and sat before her knees gave out. Well, that will make Dr. Keaton happy but I am never doing that again. How does he expect me to go through this every day?
Brant stared at his lunch, his heart pounding. She talked to me, not much but it’s a start. She doesn’t want friends? Well, I’ll just have to convince her otherwise.
* * * *
Brant went from the dining room to the library and carefully picked out a police thriller with no hint of romance on the front cover or in the book’s description. He flipped idly through the pages stopping to read the occasional paragraph but mainly keeping his eye on the door.
A few people came and went, returning books or selecting magazines from the rack near the door.
It didn’t take long for his hunch to pay off. Alice came in walking so softly he almost didn’t notice her. She had a book in her hand and she went straight to the row of books closest to the window. Brant got up and came around the other side of the shelves. “Hello, Alice,” he said while he was still a fair ways back.
She startled and looked up at him. She swallowed hard. “Hello, Brant.”
“Do you like books?”
She shrugged.
“I never really had time for them, not as a pass-time activity. Sometimes I read the paper but that’s about it.”
