Adel nods his head in agreement. “It was one of the best moments in my life... and hopefully just the beginning of many more.”
They search each other's eyes and slowly they move closer, lips almost touching. Then Nora stops and whispers, “I can't...I'm...”
Adel whispers back, “Shhhh...” and then the two kiss a sweet long kiss.
As they pull away, Adel says softly, “I've kissed women...and some were good kissers...but I cannot describe how I feel when I am kissing you.”
Nora blushes. “I don't know if I should be jealous or flattered. Most guys I know would never admit anything so personal like that.”
“It is how I feel and I want to share this with you,” he says.
Nora nods. “Yes, I understand. I am just not used to it.”
He strokes her face and kisses her forehead. He knows that if he continues, it would take them beyond what they were ready for. Usually he would be at the next step of romancing a woman which usually meant getting under the sheets. But Nora was different and he did not want to scare her away. He tells himself… be patient… she’s worth waiting for.
Nora is relieved that Adel has not asked more from her. Logically she felt this was wrong but she wasn’t sure if she would be able to stop herself if he asked.
Quietly, they both begin putting things back into the basket. He watches Nora out of the side of his eye. On the drive back, she seems very distant in her thoughts as she looks out the window. Wordlessly, they both acknowledge that their brief moment together is now over and reality was waiting for them back at the university.
***
They arrive at the school and are walking outside the parkade. Nora takes out her business card, scribbles her number on the back and hands it to him.
“You'll remember to call this time?” she asks.
“Yes, I will,” he replies. “Of course, unless I get deported.” He grins.
Nora turns and lifts her hand to wave good-bye. “You can't use that same excuse this time, Mr. Emre.”
.
Chapter 27
Stirring the pot
Yonka is sitting in her living room on the couch staring at an ultrasound photo of her baby—a girl. Having the image of her baby in her hand made her determined to protect this precious life inside of her. Mario, the real father of her child, was unaware that his unborn daughter was inside of her. How would her parents take the news? More importantly, how would her grandfather react? What about Mario’s traditional Italian parents? No, staying in this arranged marriage was for the best, for herself and her unborn child.
She hears the front door open and Adel enters the room with his back pack on his shoulder. She tucks the photo into her purse.
Adel nods. “I'm glad you are home.”
She raises her eyebrows. “Really?”
He drops his keys on the table. “We need to talk,” he says.
She frowns as her heart skips a beat. Adel sits down unsure where to start. They sit in an awkward silence for some time. Finally, Adel clears his throat. “I think you probably know what I am going to say.”
She stares at him. “No, I am not a mind reader.”
He nods his head. “Well, this arrangement we have is not... not working,” he says. “I think that it is best if we annul this while it is still early.”
Yonka feels her face turn red. She fumbles with her words. “I don't understand. I thought we had an agreement. You live your life, I live mine and both our families will be happy.”
Adel leans forward, elbows on his knees and looks down into his folded hands. “I know. It seemed to make sense at the time. But things have changed for me. I—I need to get on with my life. I can't live like this.”
Yonka shakes her head, gets up and sits closer to him. “I still don't understand,” she says. “This will devastate our family. “
“I'm sorry.”
How could he do this to her? What was going on with him? “You can't do this,” she insists. “Our families made an agreement. This is bigger than you or me.”
He stands up annoyed now by her stubbornness. “There is no negotiation about this,” he says. “I have made up my mind. I will look for a place and move out by the end of this month.”
Yonka follows him down the hallway. She grabs his arm to stop him. “We can figure something out. If it's my smoking in the house, I can change that. I'll smoke outside on the balcony.”
Adel refuses to look at her. “No, it's not that.” He tries to walk past but Yonka steps in front of him.
“If it's smoking pot in the house, I won't do that anymore. I was planning to quit anyways. It's not good for the ba...” She stops herself.
“No, it's not that,” he says. “It's not anything you can do.” He walks around her and heads to his bedroom. His cell phone starts to ring. He checks and sees that it is Nora who is calling. His spirits begin to lift. He enters his room.
Yonka follows him and stops outside the doorway of his bedroom. “Adel, please.” She has never begged for anything before.
He answers his cell phone and starts to close the door in Yonka’s face. She pushes herself into the door frame to hold the door open.
Adel says into the phone, “Sorry, just a second.” Then he gives Yonka a look and pushes the door firmly shut as Yonka steps back somewhat startled.
Yonka, not used to being refused or denied her wishes, is completely stunned. She stands there staring at the closed door. She hears Adel talking softly behind the door. She realizes that whomever he was speaking to was not Kamil. Was it a woman who called him? Who could this be? Was this why he wanted to annul their marriage? Devastated, she runs to her bedroom and slams the door shut. Angry tears stream down her face. She picks up the telephone and quickly dials Kamil’s number. Kamil answers the phone.
“I need to talk with you,” she snaps.
Startled, Kamil says, “Hello Yonka. What is this about?”
He glances over at his wife who is seated at the other end of the sofa, watching episode sixty of “Fatmagülün Suçu Ne (What is Fatmagul’s Fault?)”. He half covers the phone. “I'm watching TV with Ayca right now.”
Yonka barks, “I want to know who’s the slut that Adel is seeing behind my back?”
Kamil's eyes widen and he coughs into his hand. “I don't know what you are talking about.”
“Like hell you don't!” she yells. “You know everything about him. Tell me the truth!”
“Like I said, I don't know what you mean,” he whispers into the phone. “I'm busy right now so I have to go.”
Ayca looks up from the TV, not pleased. “Kamil, who is that on the phone?” she asks.
He reassures his wife. “It's Yonka… She thought Adel was with us. She's looking for him.”
The last thing he needed tonight was Ayca nagging him about Adel again. The only way to keep her mouth shut was to make her happy and not to upset her. Keeping the peace in this house was difficult since his wife and his father-in-law had such volatile tempers. His wife was even more difficult to handle since she could easily go into a temper tantrum that could last for days and often ended with him on the living room sofa bed.
In a loud voice he says to Yonka, “If he comes by, I'll tell him to call you. Good night.” He hangs up the phone while Yonka is in mid-sentence.
***
Her anger is now bubbling to the boiling point. Forget about Kamil, she thinks to herself. He’s absolutely useless. She knows that the only person she can trust is her best friend Guy. He might have an answer for her. She quickly dials his number.
After a couple of rings, he answers, “Hey Yonka. What's up?”
“Adel is leaving me.”
Unsurprised he says, “Why? What happened?” Here was Yonka again with one of her drama queen phone calls.
“Well, he says he wants to move on with his life. He wants to get an annulment.”
Guy takes a sip from his latte which he was quietly enjoying before Yonka called. “And did he give you a reason?” he asks.
“Well, what do you think the reason would be?”
He replies, “He has a woman friend?” He pauses. “Or a guy friend?”
“Of course it’s a woman friend,” she snaps. She pauses and says, “Or that's what I am guessing.”
“Guessing? Did he tell you he has a woman friend? Or are you just being paranoid?” He turns the page of his magazine, admiring the grey pin stripe pant suit the super thin model is wearing.
“He's in his room now talking to her on his cell phone with the door closed,” she says. “Usually when he talks to anyone, he doesn't close his bedroom door.”
“Well, what do you care?” he asks. “You are “seeing” Mario and having a long distance relationship with him.” Yonka can be quite a hypocrite but that’s what he loved about her. Spoiled rotten and wicked with a vulnerable side which she revealed only to him. He was her only confidante and he enjoyed being that for her.
“You don't understand,” Yonka says. “It's not about that. It's about me being pregnant and the whole reason why I got into this whole arranged thing to begin with.”
Guy frowns. “Sorry, I don't get it.”
She continues in a hushed whisper. “I can't let my family find out that I got pregnant outside of marriage and to a non-Muslim man.”
Guy nods his head slowly. “I see.”
“I'm already three months pregnant,” she says. “If he leaves me now before we actually consummate our marriage, my whole family will find out.”
“Well, I doubt that he will be consummating with you anytime soon, dear,” Guy says. “You're going to have to deal with it.”
Yonka shakes her head and punches her hand into the pillow. “I can't “deal” with it!” she says. “My grandfather is the head of our family. He is the one who I run to when I need help financially. My parents are the same. If he finds out about this, he'll have me sent back to Turkey to live in the village with my distant cousins for the rest of my life.”
Now this part of Yonka’s culture was beyond him. The problems she encountered with her family seemed so backward. He says calmly, “But you are a grown woman. You have a fabulous career with a great salary. Why do you have to worry about your grandfather?”
“Because that is how it is. Unless I want him and my family to disown me, that is how things are.” It sounded strange to her to hear the truth out in the open.
“So what are you going to do?” Guy asks. “Get Adel drunk and take advantage of him and then make him believe that he got you pregnant and live happily ever after?”
Suddenly a smile creeps onto Yonka’s face as an idea pops into her head. “Thank you, Guy. You are a genius. I have to go,” she says.
“Thank you for what?” he asks.
“I'll call you tomorrow,” she says. “I really have to go.”
Chapter 28
Nora makes some changes
Nora stands in her kitchen, her back to the living room as she whispers on her cell phone with Adel. Michael sits on the couch watching television. He turns to look at her, wondering who she is talking to. “Sorry, Michael dropped by unexpectedly,” she says. “I can't really talk right now. “
“I understand,” Adel says. “I have something that I need to say to you face to face anyway.”
Nora frowns. “Is it something that I'm not going to like to hear, right?”
“Well, yes and no,” he says.
Nora nods. “Okay so I'll talk to you later. Thanks for calling.”
Adel can’t help himself. “I'll dream of you tonight,” he whispers.
She smiles. “Okay, that’s enough.”
“Really?” he asks.
She blushes. “No, I like it. It's nice.”
He says, “It's the truth.”
She smiles again. “Good night.” She puts her phone down and walks into the living room.
Michael stands up. “Is everything okay?” he asks.
Nora walks up slowly towards him. Her hands are clammy and her throat tight. Suddenly, she feels like she is fifteen years old again. The self-confidence she had learned to embrace during her adulthood suddenly slithered away out the back door like a thief in the night. She takes a deep breath. “I’m glad that you're here. We need to talk.”
Michael relaxes and smiles. “Is it wedding stuff? I'm afraid I'm not very good with organizing things like this. I was trusting that you would take care of everything.”
She bites her lip nervously. “Actually, no... It's not about that.”
His smile disappears. “I was hoping that it was something simple like that.”
“Let's sit down,” Nora says. She sits down on the couch. He sits beside her and loosens his tie.
She begins slowly. “I have been thinking a lot lately.” A cold sweat covers her neck.
“Okay...” He frowns, unsure of where this is going.
Nora starts to stammer. “I think we have been rushing things a bit. I don't know if getting married in three months is the right thing to do.”
Michael relaxes and sits back. “Well, is that all? Okay then, we can push the date to six months from now or twelve months. Whatever makes you feel good about it.”
She can’t believe that he was being so thick-headed. “Are you really ready to get married?”
Michael’s eyebrows go up, shocked to hear this. After all, their wedding day was in a month. “Yes, of course I am. I wouldn't have asked you if I wasn't. Why would you ask me this? Don't you know me by now?”
“Well, that's just it. We have been together for a few years but I don't think I really do know you.” She pauses knowing he will start in on her with his usual rant.
Michael shakes his head. “Here we go again...” He stands up and begins pacing slowly back and forth in front of her. Watching him was almost hypnotic. “Sure you know me. We've been together on and off since I was your prof in university. I don't know what you don't know about me.”
He stops and sits down abruptly turning to her. “The problem isn't what you don't know; it's what you won't accept.”
He grabs Nora’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “I am who I am,” he says. “I'm not a knight in shining armor ready to take you off on my white horse. I'm not this romantic ideal man you've dreamed about since you were a little girl. Trust me... There's no such thing.”
Nora’s face turns red with fury.
“What I am is a man who will be committed to working with you to make a family and home together. I will make sure that you get the things you need. And I will not give up on us.”
She blurts out, “You're right. You're absolutely right. It's not you... It's me. You have never pretended to be something you are not. You definitely are not the romantic but hey I knew that going in. The problem is... Is it enough?”
Michael rolls his eyes. “What do you want Nora? This is the real world we're living in. This isn't a romance novel or a movie. Men and women who are compatible with each other and who care about each other is what makes a good marriage.”
She says, “Logically, yes I agree, but...”
“But what?” Michael shouts unable to control his anger.
“I need time to think about things,” she says. “I think we got back together without resolving any of the issues before we broke up.” Her last words sound more like a shrill cry of despair. Whatever shred of composure she had, disappeared as it always did when she was with him.
Michael reaches out and pulls her close to him. He holds her chin up and looks into her eyes.
He says reassuringly, “It's normal to get cold feet before the wedding day.”
Repulsed, she pulls herself out of his embrace. She turns away from him in disbelief.
He continues unperturbed. “Hey, sometimes I get t
hat feeling too. But then I brush it away because I know deep in my heart that you are the one for me.”
The tears she promised not to cry, start burning her cheeks.
“I know you feel the same way,” he says. “I don't think that I need to give you flowers every day and recite poetry to you to convince you that I mean it when I say, I want to be with you. So if you want to take a short break to think. Sure, go ahead. I'll leave you alone for two weeks if that helps. Then we can talk again. How's that?”
Nora nods slowly almost robotically. It was like reliving their last “break up” all over again. She says, “Okay. Maybe you're right. Thank you for understanding what I'm going through.”
He smiles now relieved that his little Nora was back to her old self. He gives her a big hug. “Okay, so I'll let you be alone so that you can figure stuff out. We'll talk again exactly two weeks from now. Okay?”
She tries to smile. “Okay. Thanks.”
He gets up quickly, picks up his jacket and heads to the door. His mission is fait accompli, mission accomplished.
Nora slowly follows behind him. He turns around, leans over and gives her an obligatory kiss on the cheek as if nothing had happened. He opens the front door and walks to his black shiny BMW sport utility vehicle without looking back. She closes the door behind him. Her mind is numb with frustration and self-disgust. Why did she let him do this to her again?
Chapter 29
Never underestimate Yonka
Back home, Kamil watches Adel packing his sport bag. He is getting ready for the Whistler retreat. Kamil had packed his bag the night before—he wasn’t one to wait till the last minute. He was excited to be getting out of the house this weekend. His life at his wife’s parents’ home was always tense. He never felt at home there. His wife who is so insecure and over-protective literally is smothering the life out of him.
“If you weren't going on the retreat, Ayca would never let me go,” he says.
Adel smiles. “Glad to be of usefulness to you.”
“Lucky you and I don't have to share our room with Kenko,” Kamil says. “He thinks he's so smart just because he has a rich dad and he drives a Mercedes.”
Adel laughs. “You're just jealous.”
Kamil shakes his head. “No...I'm not.” They both laugh. It is just like old times before their arranged marriages. Life was so much simpler then.
There is a soft knock on the door. Kamil looks at Adel who raises his eyebrow. The door opens and Yonka enters, dressed in a respectable grey dress. Who is this standing before them? Her face has only a little bit of makeup unlike her usual “fashionista” diva face paint she puts on every morning. Her hair is tied back neatly. She almost resembles a respectable woman, Adel thinks to himself. Something fishy was going on.
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