Undisclosed Desire (The Complete Box Set

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Undisclosed Desire (The Complete Box Set Page 11

by Falon Gold


  I stand up to take my haul back into my room. Apollo appears at the bottom of the steps, in the corner of my eye. I turn my head and get the full effect of him waiting just for me. My feet glue themselves to the floor, giving him the chance to roam his eyes over me, with my stupid heart calling out to him.

  The next seven months are going to be hell.

  “Sweetheart, how long is it going to take you to get ready?” he asks quietly.

  I realize that his time here with me is taking away from his hectic schedule in Utah, and then I realize that’s he’s here with me, just when he shouldn’t be. Were we ever going to get things right between us?

  “Ah… I… I’m…” I realize I’m stammering like an idiot. “I’ll be down ASAP, Apollo…” I clear my throat. “I mean, Mr. Ford.”

  He grins.

  “Calling me Apollo is fine… Malisa.”

  Suddenly, it’s weird to hear the correct pronunciation of my name from his mouth.

  I wasn’t sure what was okay between us anymore.

  “Fine, Apollo, I’ll…” I point behind me. “…go get ready.”

  He cocks his head to the side. “Hurry up.”

  I spin away, stumble into my room, then shut the door behind me. There’s no point in locking it, but I have to press my back to it, needing a stable link to this earth and time for my knees to become steady again. I decide the next seven months in Apollo’s employ are going to be worse than hell. I push off the door to drop my clothes on the bed then take my clothes off. Leaving them in a puddle on the tan carpet, I enter my bathroom and take as quick a shower as possible.

  Everything is just where I left it in the bathroom, too bad the same can’t be said about my love life. Twenty minutes pass before I’ve dressed, flat-ironed my hair, applied a layer of mascara and gloss to my face and my clothes to my body. I like what I see in the full-length mirror that’s sitting in the corner of my room between the window beside my bed and the dresser pushed against the wall. After a quick clean up, I open the bedroom door, as ready as I’ll ever be, with an audience.

  The aroma of searing bacon assaults my nose, making my stomach grumble. I descend the stairs, and stop dead in my tracks. Apollo and Derek are sitting on each side of the great room on my mother’s Victorian furniture. They stand up. I groan, and lean against the edge of the end of the staircase’s banister.

  “My mother is going to kill everybody.”

  Lydia laughs, from behind Derek, who was sitting with his back to the wide doorway leading into the kitchen. “I put them in here, Malisa, where the guests go. Calm down before you have them thinking I’m a raging monster most of the time.”

  I scoff, bravely and disrespectfully, because I’m standing several feet away and out of the reach of her open palm. “You are a raging monster when it comes to this room.” And her family.

  “That’s because it wasn’t for you and Blake to play in and destroy, baby girl.”

  “Or sit in,” Blake adds, materializing behind her, with a platter of bacon pressed to his chest, which is now wrapped in a hunter green sweater above khaki pants and camel-colored boots.

  He’s dressed almost identical to Derek, who’s wearing his aviator’s jacket over his sweater with leather patches.

  Lydia cranes her neck to look back at Blake. “Is that all the bacon I cooked?”

  He grins and stuffs a piece in his mouth. “Yep. I’m saving it from Uncle Tommy.”

  She smirks. “You’re saving it for yourself. You have to share.”

  “Why, Mama O? You’ll just give it to me if I ask for it, and Pop's off pork. Lisa Poo is a model now, so she can’t have any either, and I’m a big man.”

  “What about the rest of us, Blake?” Chrysalis asks in her sultry tone that meshes well with her femme fatale personality and looks. She’s well aware that she’s entering into the middle a middle of a battle while walking up behind Blake.

  She’s also beautiful, single, childless, and a much shorter and softer version of my father, with big, bouncy curls that reach to the arch in her back, wide curvy hips, and a small everything else clothed in a black, velvet cat suit and stiletto knee boots. Derek’s head turns to acknowledge my aunt and never turns back around. My eyes roam to Apollo, wondering if he’s enjoying Chrysalis’ beauty, too. But his eyes are stuck to my face, and I can’t look away.

  Apollo reaches over, lets his fingers find the edge of his white-bubble coat resting on the back of the couch, and then motions with the tilt of his head toward the front door beside me. It takes strength that I have to dig deep to find just to turn away from him. It takes even more to move towards where he wants me to be, outside, where we’ll get the only privacy available. I palm the knob. Another hand palms mine, before I can open the door.

  I look up into Apollo’s face, his eyes aglow with indignance. I’ve insulted him again, just by not letting him open the door for me.

  Well, if he wants to open it that badly. I remove my hand from beneath his and step back, happy to avoid another argument that will have him hopping the next thing smoking back to Utah. I’m conflicted about how much damage he is doing to me by just being in the same room, but I still want him near. My world just isn’t right when he isn’t close. He smiles, the turmoil in his eyes fading away as he opens the door, allowing frigid air to rush us. I wonder if it is really this easy to make this man happy, while hugging myself to keep the cold at bay.

  “Thank you,” he says softly beside me.

  “I think that’s my line, Apollo.”

  I step out onto the porch then walk to the opposite end, where there’s wicker rocking chairs and benches to choose from. I stop at the railing that’s circling the porch, and look out into the open twenty acres surrounding my parents’ house. The same cars that were hogging the driveway yesterday are back, along with a black truck with extended cab parked at the end of it. I would rather count the cars than have the talk that’s incoming. Whether Apollo wants me back or not, both could prove to be disastrous for me, more so for my heart. But I put my big girl panties on and wait for Apollo to be the first to speak, intending to be fine with whichever way this conversation goes.

  The air grows stiff as if it’s waiting for something, or maybe it’s just me waiting and I’m stiff. He closes the door back, gently, and then walks up behind me, his breath fanning the hair on my neck. His closeness alone is enough to keep me warm, and yet I shiver when it washes over me.

  “I’m sorry.” His soft baritone runs through me.

  I tremble, again, as he drapes his coat over my shoulders. I pull it tight around me, letting his scent waft off the material into my senses.

  “I think ‘I’m sorry’ is my line, too, Apollo. You know I didn’t want you to leave Vegas or me at the store. I just wanted you to calm down, so you would hear me when I explained that I don’t need to be taken care of. It’s first nature to do it myself, if I can. I have done it for so long; it’s all I know. Thank you for bringing the boxes up to my room. That I most certainly couldn’t have done myself.”

  “It was my pleasure, Malisa. It’s always been my pleasure to do anything for you, but I may have gotten too comfortable with doing things for you behind the scenes. To you, it may have felt like I was springing something on you that you aren’t used to in Vegas. I shouldn’t have sat back so long and loved you from a distance. Now, I get to regret getting angry with you and leaving you in Vegas for as long as I live. I won’t do either again, if that’s what you’re worried about. But don’t punish me for wanting to do things for you by telling me you can do everything for you yourself. It hurts.”

  “I realized too late that maybe I was hurting you, Apollo, but that was never my intention. I would have explained that if you had just waited for me. You’re not the only one that got comfortable with doing things behind the scenes. Somehow, we got our wires crossed when we both stepped up. But I have to admit, you do the most serene and beautiful angry that I’ve ever seen.”

  That earns me a few lau
ghs from him. The tension eases around us, and the world grows a little brighter and more beautiful, which means my happiness is tied to his. It probably always has been. All the more reason to fear losing him.

  “If it makes things a little clearer between us, my Lisa. I have never met a woman like you who didn’t want everything handed to them. I didn’t calm down until I got here this morning and knew you were safe for myself.” He exhales. “I have something else to confess.”

  “Well, I know you don’t have my phone because I have it, so what could you have possibly done now?” I jab.

  “Turn around and look at me, and I’ll tell you.”

  I turn, placing my ass against the railing and spreading my feet wide apart to brace myself for whatever he is about to say before making eye contact with him. It’s sizzling. More warmth swamps me. I no longer need to hug myself or Apollo’s coat to keep warm. The cold air is suddenly a welcomed caress on whatever heated skin it can reach, mostly my face. It takes everything within me not to wrap my arms around Apollo, just to be closer. I’m not sure what he’s about to say, and touching him may be the last thing he wants me to do, after he’s said his piece.

  He steps closer anyway, making me crane my neck to look up at him. “I’ve been sleeping at your apartment since Sunday night.”

  I blink.

  That’s all he had to confess? I take immense comfort in him being in my space, even if he didn’t want me in his. He had to be missing me as much I missed him.

  “You could’ve gotten in trouble for that, even if you have a key to my place, Apollo, which you still have because I never got it off the table in Vegas. You didn’t have my permission to be there.”

  His hands drop down on my hips, making my breath rattle in my lungs.

  “I wouldn’t get in trouble if I owned the building and was keeping an eye on my tenant’s place,” he adds with a smug grin. “It’s perfectly within my landlord’s rights to make sure your home is secure while you’re gone.”

  My knees wobble beneath me, and my eyes begin to bulge out of my head.

  His smile evaporates. “But seriously, your apartment was all I had of you in Utah at the time, and I wanted it.” His eyes lower to my mouth, distracting me. “Your smell was everywhere. It was as much torture as it was comforting.”

  “My smell should’ve been everywhere, Apollo, because it’s my apartment,” I whisper, and then, his words sink in. “Did you just say you bought my building?” I think my body registered what he said before my mind did, and I’m still not sure if I heard him right.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Yes, I bought your building. I counted on your landlord being tired of maintaining thirty apartments after twenty years and greed helped, as well. I approached him with cash for the building on good faith that he’ll take care of the switching of the names on the deed. If he doesn’t, who gives a shit right now? But I think he cleared out of his apartment the same day.”

  “When did you buy the building?”

  His forehead dips, until it’s flush with mine. “Monday. I spent two hours of my day at the bank, waiting for them to count a million dollars, while they tried to talk me out of walking out of there with cash. Banks can’t use the money to extend credit to suckers if it’s in my briefcase, but I can’t sleep or work without you near. It was stupid enough to tell you to stay in Vegas another night just because I was angry, but I didn’t want to say something stupid while I was there, so I left. We both know that didn’t work out well. When you didn’t follow me home, I was still too angry to call you and beg you to come home. So I called the hotel instead, to check on you. You were still there. I went to the one place I knew you’d come back to, if not me... your home.”

  I giggle. “That didn’t work out well either, did it?”

  “No,” he says promptly. “I stayed at your place, hoping you would ignore my instructions and show up before work Monday. You didn’t. I called the hotel, again. You were still there. I knew I’d lost you, and tried to accept that you may have been right about us risking everything we already had to be together, so I tried go to work as usual Monday morning. I couldn’t focus. I wanted to be wherever you were, except I still had to deal with the stupid meetings that I’d put off till Monday. I stayed at the office long enough to call my clients and investors just to cancel, again, before I went back to your apartment where I ran into your landlord first in the hallway. He was looking at me like I was going to steal something. I didn’t like it, so, on a whim, I decide to buy the building.”

  I can imagine Mr. Crowder limping down the hallway of my floor on his bad knee that detests cold weather to get a good view of the man he’d never seen in the building before. I shake my head and try not to laugh.

  “That had to be weird, since Mr. Crowder is a black man. But I highly doubt you were experiencing reversed racism, just him being protective. But apparently, everyone has a price.”

  Apollo chuckles dryly. “We do, and it’s safe to say that I haven’t made any money since you left Friday, but that’s not what I care about most right now. We need to get to know each other, Malisa. I told you I wasn’t letting you go, and I meant it. I told you if you needed more time to live, I’d give it, and I meant that, too. But you have to choose where we go from here because I’d glue you to my side if it was up to me, but I don’t think that’ll work for you. I hate that we don’t know each other well enough to predict the other’s mood outside of the office or what to do about them, even after working together for years.”

  My eyes drift closed, heartrate picking up speed. He’d put the burden on me to decide our fate, and it is a much heavier load than I’ve ever had to carry before. I’ve never loved anyone like this before, wholeheartedly. My heart clanging inside my chest like there’s a major emergency somewhere is giving me an idea of what to do though. Follow its lead, by taking this opportunity to be back in Apollo’s arms and running with it.

  I don’t think he needs a crystal ball to know my mood right now or what to do about it. My body is humming, and my mind fuzzy. He’s standing too close for me to think straight and not want him. There’s no way in hell we’re going to be able to work together if I have immediate access to his body during working hours. Some days never stop at Global Ford Enterprises. I’m not sure if I won’t try tricking him into the copy room beside his office, just to take what I want from him.

  Just keep talking, Malisa. You’re not in danger of taking anything from him if you’re running your mouth, I think.

  “You got one thing right, Apollo. We both reacted wrong Sunday. I really wasn’t trying to hurt you or make you feel useless, but some things are just hard to change. Being independent is one of them, and I like it, which may be hard for you to believe after the type of women you’ve dated. I’m not saying all socialites are gold diggers, but I didn’t think you’d ever see me as someone you could date either. And I didn’t come back to Utah because you’d broken my heart. It had nothing to do with you doing things for me. You don’t have to go out of your way, either. That was what I wanted to explain to you. I came here because I thought it was already too late to explain or get to know you better, and I needed to regroup. If I had come back to work Monday, I would’ve just cried all day. We both wouldn’t have gotten anything done.”

  Apollo’s hands slide from my hips to my waist. The physical contact, even with my sweater between our skin, rocks my world on its axis. My hands grab for his forearms, looking for an anchor to his world, since mine had flipped upside down.

  “Look at me, my Lisa.”

  I open my eyes, slowly. They’re weighted down with desire, which is threatening to overwhelm me. I get the urge to strip him of his clothes right here on the front porch. Looking into Apollo’s eyes flooded with craving isn’t making it any easier to resist it either. I’m warm enough to make love to him, right now, outside, but we have bigger problems like figuring out how not to kill one another as a couple.

  “Do you still need to regroup, sweeth
eart?” he asks, while I try to cool down, mentally and physically.

  “God yes. Just looking at you makes me scatterbrained, and I can’t figure out what to do next to save us both from each other. All I know is I want you, even when I know it’ll cost me dearly to lose you for any reason. That is still my main concern.”

  He smiles down on me, reminding me of the sunlight that nourishes my mother’s plants. They could live without the light, but their growth would suffer tremendously. Apollo and I need to grow, and I need him to be my sunlight. My heart just refuses to let him go.

  “Then let me save us,” he whispers.

  I grin, needing his help more than I ever had anyone’s, to keep us together. “Take your best shot, Apollo.”

  “We stay here for another few days. It’s what you need, love, after being away for so long. It’s what your family needs after not seeing you, which is my fault. What better way to get to know someone than to be around the people that molded and shaped them? I just need to know if I’ll be sharing rooms with Derek.”

  I begin to stare at him as if he’s grown two heads. “Apollo, first off, I didn’t take you for being suicidal. My mother, alone, will eat us alive. We won’t have any time together, not to mention privacy, and you still have a business to run. Second, Derek is here because he only wanted to make sure I was okay. I explained to him yesterday that you had broken my heart and I just couldn’t be anything more than a friend to him.”

  Apollo begins to laugh, and I think I’ve eased his mind about Derek’s presence here.

 

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