by Lea Hart
He threw his hands up and let out a low growl. “The guy is a self-entitled, arrogant asshole who’s only ever thought about himself. He walks around this town like he fucking owns it and has no respect for anyone.”
She winced at the anger and vitriol coming out of his mouth. “That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is. When all the shit happened in high school, it reaffirmed my opinion about what kind of guy Rick is. I remember how torn up you were when the rumors started and he didn’t say anything in your defense. I saw you go from an open, laughing, happy girl to one that was on the verge of tears more often than not.”
Because I was torn up over a pregnancy scare and Rick walking out on me! Not that it was his or anyone else’s business. And knowing the truth wouldn’t calm him down anyway. “That was a long time ago and—”
“If you want to forget what part he played in what I’m assuming is the worst year of your life, then so be it. But I won’t.”
She looked down at her dog and felt a slice of sadness slide through her stomach. “I’m going to get back on the road. You take care of yourself.”
“Em…”
“Goodbye, Nash.” She turned and hustled out of the feed store with her dog and prayed her old friend found his way out of the mess he’d gotten himself into.
Once she’d climbed back in her truck, she glanced in the rearview mirror, seeing Nash stand in the doorway with a grim expression. A shiver ran down her back, and she felt every drop of regret and sadness because their friendship was well and truly over.
…
Rick walked into the Broken Spoke and looked around for Levi and Tim. They had agreed to grab some supper together, and once he checked his watch, he noticed he was ten minutes early. He grabbed a table toward the back and waved to Holly when she passed with a full tray.
Knowing it was just about time for Emily to be returning to the clinic, he checked his locator app and felt his heart settle when the blinking red light put her just at the spot she should be.
Was it wrong that he’d copied her phone and installed a GPS program? Absolutely.
Did he have a hell of shit storm in his future when she found out? No doubt.
Would he do anything differently? Not a chance in hell.
From what Weston and Willie had been able to rustle up so far, they were dealing with some dangerous folks. Until the threat was taken care of, there wasn’t a line Rick wouldn’t cross. He’d seen too much bad shit to take a measured approach and had to find a way to protect her without stomping all over her wants and desires.
Holly stopped at the table and tapped her tray against her hip. “You plan on behavin’ yourself?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Nash Pierce is talking trash about you on the other side of the bar.”
“Yeah? What’s he been saying?”
“Are you the last person in town to realize that he believes you stole his girl out from under him?”
“Excuse me?” he all but snarled.
“Nash has had a thing for Em since middle school. When you dumped her and left her to the wolves, he swooped in and became her defender and close friend. He’s been biding his time, hoping when the time was right she’d fall into his arms.”
“I never thought us breaking up would—”
Holly held up her hand and frowned. “But it did, Rick.”
He ran his hand over the scarred table and considered the veracity of Holly’s statement. “She was always my girl.”
“We talkin’ love or possession?”
“Meaning?” Leaning forward, he folded his hands and knew he’d go toe to toe with anyone who thought he and Em were not meant to be.
“Do you want her like a shiny trophy to keep on your mantle or do you love the flesh and blood woman who isn’t perfect? Can you handle her in good days and bad? How much are you going to want her when she’s six months pregnant and doesn’t want one of your fingers near her body? Can you handle a hangry, tired, less-than-perfect woman?”
Sitting back, he let out a short laugh. “I fell for Em long before I wanted to get my hands on her. I’ve been at her side through her most ornery, unpleasant phases and never thought for a minute that she wasn’t my best match. Believe you me, I’m not expecting a well-behaved, conciliatory woman.”
She blessed Rick with an approving smile. “Good!”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah, were you expecting another shiny medal to add to your collection?”
He rolled his eyes and then smiled. “No, it just seemed like there’d be a written test or something.”
“That comes along in phase two.”
“Well, I’ve got that to look forward to.” Didn’t matter what kind of hoops he had to jump through. Written, verbal, or obstacle course. There wasn’t a test he wouldn’t ace.
“You want a beer?”
“Yes, please. The Connor brothers will be here in a bit, and we’re having supper.”
“Family bonding?”
“God willing.”
Seeing Nash swagger around the far side of the bar set his teeth to grinding, and he knew that a confrontation would net him immediate satisfaction but not a long-term gain. Trying to keep his hands from fisting, he took several long breaths.
Unfortunately, the asshole seemed to be spoilin’ for a fight, because he flipped him the bird and sauntered over like the world was his fucking stage. Pushing himself out of the booth, Rick rolled his shoulders. “Not this time,” he muttered to himself as he waited for Nash to make his way across the bar.
“You too scared to win Em on your own?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Had a little convo with her today and she told me our friendship was done.” He took a menacing step forward. “What the hell have you been telling her?”
Stomping down the anger his words produced, Rick drug up years of combat experience and reminded himself there would be a time and place to address Em’s direct disobedience of an order. “I haven’t said anything she didn’t already know. It’s just about common knowledge that you and Owen have cozied up to the gangs and cartels. Honest work not good enough for you?”
“Fuck you, Rick Blakely. You don’t know shit.”
The man was halfway to being drunk, but Rick narrowed his eyes. “You tell whoever is interested that Em doesn’t have whatever dirty blackmail you and your brother have managed to get your hands on. Anyone who fucks with Em is fucking with me. I’m a deadly son of a bitch and won’t hesitate to start puttin’ people in the ground. That woman is more important than my next breath, so be advised there isn’t a line I won’t cross, a fight I won’t win, and a town I won’t decimate to protect her.”
“You’re a lot of bluster,” he spat out before stumbling backward.
“The hell I am.”
Nash caught his balance and shook out his hands. “You left her to the town buzzards when she was too young to defend herself. Why would she trust you to protect her now?”
Seeing red, he lost his control and closed the distance that separated them. He plowed his fist into Nash’s face and heard the satisfying crack of bone.
The last time he’d felt the same amount of anger, he was carrying his teammates’ dead bodies into a helo on the outskirts of Ramadi. “I will lay down my life for that woman, make no mistake.”
Nash pushed himself to his feet and swung wildly. “You don’t deserve her. She’s too fucking good for the likes of you.”
Leaning back, he avoided Nash’s fist. “Be that as it may, it’s not going to stop me.”
Blocking a cross shot, he knew it wouldn’t be long for the scuffle to be over. Seeing the manager approach, he tipped his chin. “Didn’t mean for this to happen inside.”
“Move it out to the parking lot.”
“Gladly,�
� Nash spit out. He wove through the tables and threw open the front door.
Following reluctantly, Rick knew he needed to end this shit once and for all and pushed through the front door. The sun was just about set, and he watched Nash wipe his T-shirt across his nose. “I’m not going to beat the shit out of you again. Call off the trash interested in Em and make sure they know she doesn’t have anything.”
“Fuck you,” Nash called out loudly.
“No, asshole. Fuck you for putting an innocent woman in danger.” He drove his fist into Nash’s gut and then hit him with a cross hook. The man tumbled to the ground, moaning and carrying on.
Rick heard a gasp and looked up. Em was standing next to her brothers, a look of horror and disgust on her face.
“I didn’t start this!”
“But you didn’t stop it,” she replied firmly before turning around and getting into her truck.
Dropping his shoulders, he kicked the ground and threw a disgusted look at Nash as he let out low, pitiful moans. “Damnit.”
Tim walked over with Levi at his side. “So, are we still eatin’ or what?”
“We’re definitely eating,” Rick said. “Because if Em is as mad as I think she is, this could be my last supper.”
“There is no if,” Levi replied as he walked around Nash. “That’s a definite.”
Rubbing his neck, he nodded and followed the Connor brothers in and hoped they’d at least have a few words of wisdom.
…
Emily stood at her kitchen sink and heard the front door open. Gearing herself up for the fight of the decade, she let out a breath. She picked up the dishcloth and began drying the dishes as the hard clip of Rick’s boots bounced against the walls.
She silently promised herself not to harm him in a way that would make mopping the floors necessary. Leaning forward, she studied the backyard and decided if she couldn’t find the right amount of control, she’d just take him out back and shoot him on the grass.
Feeling better for having her revenge plans properly in place, she turned when he walked in and gave him a slow once-over. “What brings you by?”
“I come by every night.” Holding his hands up, he gave her a hopeful smile.
“Well, you’re not welcome anymore, so go on home.”
“I’m the one who’s got dibs on righteous anger. You defied a direct order and went face-to-face with Nash.”
Sucking in a breath, she told herself anger was better than heartbreak. “I don’t take orders.”
“You just tryin’ to make me mad?”
“No, Rick. I’m conducting my life as I always have: as I see fit. You have crossed the very last line, and I don’t care to be in your company anymore.” Liking the small comfort the lie provided, she told her heart to keep its protest quiet.
“Well, too damn bad, because I’m protecting you whether you want it or not.”
She looked up at the ceiling. Rick’s determined refusal to do as she asked was the final straw. “I can call my brothers and have them haul you out of here.”
“Why are you so obstinate?”
She waved her arms at him. “Why are you messing with my life?”
“Because someone might want to end it. Nash and his brother are into some bad shit. You’re smart enough to know what the consequences of being around him might be and yet had a chat with him today.”
Confusion and aggravation filled his beautiful face. He honestly didn’t get it. He wasn’t bulldozing her wants and needs just to piss her off or show who was more in control. He was doing it because that’s who he was. A truth she couldn’t ignore. No matter how much a part of her heart wanted to. “Not that I owe you an explanation, but you should know that I ran into him at the feed store. I didn’t go lookin’, and it’s crushing that you don’t respect me enough to know I don’t make dumb decisions.” Seeing some of his piss and vinegar slide away, she let out a breath. “Maybe we were too ambitious.”
“Or not ambitious enough,” he said quietly.
“What does that mean?”
“I feel like you’re looking for the flaws and waiting for me to disappoint you. I know not all my ideas are winners, but my intentions are good.”
“I’m sorry, Rick.” And she was, because he was likely the love of her life. Allowing the crushing weight of their incompatibility to rest on her chest, she let her gaze fall to the floor. There was no happy ending for them after all. Her heart wanted his, but her mind and soul wouldn’t survive if she allowed him to continue to stomp all over her choices. Resolve seeped into the cracks of her soon-to-be-broken heart, and she looked up.
“What for?”
“I don’t have the stomach for this. You’ve come back into my life like a twenty-five-hundred pound Brahman bull, and you’re knocking over my china and messing with my life. I appreciate all that you’ve done, but if we spend any more time together, it will not likely end well.”
“You think that little of what we’ve got going on?”
“No, but I believe in self-preservation.”
Gusting out a discouraged breath, he folded his arms. “Which is exactly what I’m trying to do. I can’t let anything happen to you!”
“I can take care of myself and want a partner that understands that fact.”
“I do understand, it’s just that—”
She threw her hand up. “We’re at odds, and I know there’s no way you’ll back down. I can’t fight you and your ideas of how things should go and hold on to my sanity.”
“What we have is worth fighting for, so I’m going to give you a minute to remember that.”
“Go home, Rick.” She slumped against the counter and hoped he would take her at her word.
“For now.”
“For a good long while,” she said as he turned and stomped out of her house. The door slammed resolutely behind him, and she knew the right decision had been made.
Too bad it broke her heart in a hundred pieces.
Knowing she was making good choices was cold comfort when the person who she loved walked out the door. Intellectually, she had a dozen reasons for ending things, but the ache in her heart and the pain radiating through her bones wasn’t interested.
There was no way she could live with Rick’s high-handed, steam-rolling, overprotective, domineering ways. But Lord, she wanted to find a way to.
He was the love of her life and had been for as long as she could remember.
Didn’t matter if they quarreled, disagreed about inconsequential stuff, and generally bickered.
Rick Blakely was her heart.
Dropping to the floor, she pushed herself into the corner and wrapped her arms around her legs and let go of all the sadness and pain. Tears flowed down her cheeks, and she didn’t try and stop them because she would’ve cracked in two if she had.
Strength and resilience could wait for another day.
She wished that she was brave enough to stick it out and find a compromise that would work for both of them. But she didn’t know how to be that woman. All she knew was she was paying the price, because sending the man she loved away hurt more than she ever could have imagined.
Feeling her heart shatter for a second time, she accepted that some dreams just weren’t possible.
Chapter Twenty-One
Rick laid the reins over his horse’s neck and turned her toward the barn. He’d been running cattle for over a week and knew the physical exhaustion was the only thing preventing him from hightailing it to town and begging for Em’s mercy.
Something he didn’t think she was real interested in giving him, even if he dropped to his knees and stayed there. His best efforts had bombed, and now that he’d had some time to think, he realized that he’d let his fears get in the way of doing the right thing.
Rationally, he knew that steamrolling and dictating would never
stand, but he hadn’t been able to get his impulses under control. He had all kinds of excuses, of course, and some really impressive rationalizations for wanting to secure her, but none of them meant shit. Because, in the end, he hadn’t respected her boundaries. Instead, he listened to the old combat tapes in his head that told him to protect the target first and ask questions later.
Too many years of going after evil had blinded him to listening to anyone who hadn’t been on the front lines. After all, what did civilians really know about the dark side of humanity? Very little if they were lucky. There was no way he could’ve let anything taint her goodness and light. He’d believed that an alive, angry Em was better than the alternative. Which he still kind of did, even though he knew that it was wrong.
So, it was time.
To lay down his excuses and overcome and outwork his demons.
He wasn’t on the frontlines anymore, and his way wasn’t the only way. And as Em had pointed out a hundred times, he didn’t always know best. In fact, he knew hardly anything at all when it came to giving her what she needed. Unless it involved getting her fed, loving on her so good his name became her prayer, and protecting her with his last breath.
It was time to move beyond meeting her basic needs and level up his game, see how he could earn her trust, learn what made her happy, and step the fuck back and listen. If there was ever a fight worth his blood, sweat, and tears…it was this one.
Because not living up to the blessing he’d been given would be downright criminal.
He’d always taken full responsibility for his successes and failures and believed hard lessons provided the hard truths that were necessary to become a decent human. It was time he dealt with the big one he’d been served and grab as much as wisdom as he could.
Seeing Jack waiting under the big oak tree, he lifted his hand in greeting. “Why haven’t you headed home yet?”
“Because you’re grilling me a nice steak and offering me a meal.”
“I guess that’s not a bad idea.”
Dismounting, he gave his friend a grin and then tipped his hat back. “Nessa still ghosting your ass?”
