by Jessica Hart
He had got himself downstairs by the time they got back with the tree, so they had lunch together, and afterwards he insisted on watching as Sophie decorated the tree. Sophie didn’t want him there. She wanted Bram to help her carefully lift the shining baubles out of the box and hang them on the green branches. She wanted Bram to untangle the string of lights and straighten the trunk and enjoy the tangy fragrance of pine needles.
But when Nick had announced his intention of keeping Sophie company Bram had said that he would spend the afternoon catching up on paperwork, so she was left to decorate the tree with Nick’s hot eyes on her. Once, such time alone with him would have been her heart’s desire, Sophie thought bitterly. Be careful what you wish for—wasn’t that the old saying? How true it was.
It was almost as if Nick was determined to keep her and Bram apart. He monopolised the conversation all evening, quite unchastened by his experience.
Sophie listened with gritted teeth, increasingly embarrassed to think that she had been so in love with him for so long. When she looked back, her relationship with Nick had been very short and very intense. It had only been at the engagement dinner that she had glimpsed the obnoxious side to him. She was strongly tempted to point out how irresponsible he had been now, but she held her tongue for Melissa’s sake, afraid that it might escalate into a full-blown row. If she heard about it, her sister would be desperately upset, and Sophie didn’t want the atmosphere to be any tenser than it already was for her father’s birthday.
She suspected that even Bram’s famously calm temper was being strained by Nick’s behaviour, but that he too was thinking about Melissa and her parents as he let Nick talk on and accept being waited on hand and foot as his due.
It was a huge relief when Nick finally decided that he was tired and allowed Bram to help him upstairs to bed. At least now they might have some time alone, Sophie thought, hardly able to wait until she had seen that Nick had shut the door to his room. She and Bram could go to bed and snuggle down under the duvet to keep warm together, and surely then she would be able to talk to him at last.
But that was not to be either. Bram turned to her and nodded down the corridor. ‘I made up a bed for you in the other room while you were cooking supper. I thought you might be more comfortable in there tonight.’
So that was that. Sophie smiled brightly. ‘Great. Thanks.’
They were still getting married, she told herself as she lay cold and lonely in the spare room. The snow would melt, Nick would go, and then…then they would be alone and she could tell Bram how she felt.
It was time for the truth.
CHAPTER TEN
THERE was no sign of a thaw the next day. Bram busied himself with jobs in the farm sheds, and Nick decided that he had overdone it the day before and should rest his knee in bed. Sophie had to run up and downstairs, taking him cups of tea and breakfast and little snacks.
‘You’re an angel,’ Nick said as she put a cup of coffee and a couple of biscuits on the bedside table for him. He patted the side of the bed. ‘Sit down.’
‘I’ve got some soup on,’ Sophie prevaricated, but he wasn’t letting her slip away.
‘The soup can wait a bit, can’t it?’ he said plaintively. ‘It’s very lonely up here on my own!’
So much for the man who travelled fastest alone.
‘Come on,’ he coaxed as she hesitated still, and he smiled his most devastating smile. ‘It’s not like you don’t know me, is it?’
Unable to think of a reason to refuse immediately, Sophie perched reluctantly on the side of the bed.
‘You’re nervous of me,’ said Nick softly, but she had a feeling that he was secretly pleased. ‘You shouldn’t be. You know I’d never hurt you.’
But you did, thought Sophie. You hurt me terribly.
Nick’s voice deepened. ‘I know it’s hard for you to keep your feelings under control.’
Sophie looked at him and thought about Bram. ‘Yes, it is.’
‘That was one of the things I always loved about you,’ he went on, as if she hadn’t spoken. ‘You were so wild and passionate about everything. You seem to have lost that fire, Sophie,’ he said regretfully. ‘Was it me? Did I do that to you? I couldn’t help myself, you know,’ he tried to explain. ‘Melissa is so beautiful. She’s like a dream.’
Was that how Melissa seemed to Bram too? ‘I know,’ said Sophie dully.
Nick took her hand. ‘I still think of you, Sophie. I love Melissa, of course, but she doesn’t have your feistiness. When I saw you the other night wearing that dress, and yesterday when you came in from the snow…you looked so alive. You were glowing and your eyes were shining…I couldn’t help remembering the good times we had. You think of them too, don’t you?’
‘You’re married to my sister, Nick.’ She tried to pull her hand away, but he was holding it too tightly. ‘There’s no point in remembering them.’
‘But you do anyway.’ He smiled knowingly. ‘This is your room, isn’t it? I know you’re not sleeping with Bram, and I know that’s because you still have feelings for me. It’s all right, Sophie, I understand.’
Tugging her hand free at last, Sophie stood up. ‘Actually, Nick, I don’t think you do,’ she said.
‘Am I interrupting something?’ Bram’s voice from the doorway made them both start, and Sophie swung round to see him looking bleaker than she had ever seen him look before.
How long had he been there? Had he seen Nick holding her hand? In spite of herself, she flushed. ‘No,’ she said as she walked past him. ‘Nothing at all.’
‘Absolutely nothing,’ Nick agreed demurely.
Bram restrained the urge to wipe the complacent smile off the other man’s face. ‘I just came to ask if you wanted me to help you get downstairs,’ he said grittily. If he found that Nick had been upsetting Sophie by tantalising her with impossible dreams, he would…he would…Well, what could he do? Just be there to help pick up the pieces, as before.
‘That’s kind,’ said Nick, graciously accepting his offer, and apparently determined not to allow Sophie any time alone with Bram. ‘It’s such a bore losing the use of my knee like this.’
Bram thought of the blizzard, of Sophie’s white face and the exhaustion in her eyes. Of the terrible fear when he realised that she had left the wall and that he might not be able to find her.
‘Just be glad that’s all you lost,’ he said grimly.
The sun came out the next day, and with it the snow ploughs. Bram was able to get the tractor out and clear the track down to the road, and he had barely finished before Melissa appeared in a smart four-wheel-drive to take Nick to hospital for a check-up.
‘I don’t need to go to hospital,’ Nick said ungraciously. ‘I’m perfectly all right. I just need to rest my knee.’
It took Melissa ages to coax him into the car. When he was finally settled, she came back to say goodbye to Bram and Sophie, who were both trying hard not to show how relieved they felt to see the back of Nick.
Melissa hugged Bram tightly. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered.
‘I said I’d find him for you, didn’t I?’ said Bram, enfolding her in a comforting embrace.
‘You did,’ agreed Melissa, smiling through her tears. ‘That’s the wonderful thing about you, Bram. You always do what you say you’re going to do.’
He had said that he would love Melissa for ever, Sophie thought dully. Was he going to do that, too?
It was going to happen all over again. Sophie loved her sister dearly, and she didn’t want to resent her. She knew Melissa couldn’t help being beautiful. She would never deliberately try to steal any man from Sophie. It wasn’t Melissa’s fault that the only two men Sophie had ever loved were enthralled by her.
She shouldn’t be surprised, Sophie told herself, and she had no right to be hurt. She had always known what Bram felt about Melissa. She had had no trouble accepting it when she’d thought of him as a dear friend, but now that she loved him in a very different way it hurt mo
re than Sophie had thought possible to realise that once again she would have to take second place to her sister.
Still, she raised a smile as Melissa turned to her and hugged her.
‘Thank you too, Sophie,’ she said. ‘Nick says you were an absolute heroine.’
‘Not me,’ said Sophie. ‘Bess was the only heroine that night.’
‘Bess hasn’t been looking after him since,’ Melissa pointed out. ‘I’m just so grateful to you both,’ she said, including Bram in her glance as she turned for the car. ‘See you tonight, then.’
‘Tonight?’
‘It’s Dad’s birthday.’ Melissa stared at Sophie. ‘Surely you haven’t forgotten!’
‘Oh…no. No…of course not.’
‘And you’re getting married tomorrow. You do remember that, don’t you?’ said Melissa, only half joking.
‘Of course,’ said Sophie with dignity. Although in fact it was easy to lose track of the days when you were cut off by the snow. It was a bit like having jet lag, not being sure of what time it was or where you fitted into the daily routine. ‘I’m not likely to forget my own wedding, am I?’
‘You never know with you, Sophie,’ said Melissa with unaccustomed dryness. ‘You’re in a world of your own sometimes! Just to warn you, though, Mum’s expecting you to sleep at Glebe Farm tonight.’
Sophie looked at her sister in dismay. ‘Why?’
‘You know what she’s like about tradition. There’s no question of the bride and groom seeing each other before the wedding, so make sure you bring all your stuff with you when you come tonight. Otherwise there’ll just be a scene—and we don’t want that on Dad’s birthday, do we?’
Sophie was quiet as she got ready that evening. The next day was her wedding day, and she was marrying the man she loved. She should be on top of the world. But it was impossible to relax and enjoy it when she wasn’t sure how Bram really felt.
There never seemed to be an opportunity to sit down and talk properly. Nick had gone now, but Sophie didn’t want to force the issue just before her father’s party. Announcing that they weren’t getting married after all would put a dampener on the evening, to say the least.
And tomorrow it would be too late. It would be fine, Sophie tried to convince herself. She and Bram had talked about things. They were friends, and they could be honest with each other. If Bram didn’t want to marry her, he would say so.
Wouldn’t he?
For want of anything else to wear, Sophie put on the flame-coloured dress again. It was bitterly cold. In spite of the sun, the snow hadn’t melted at all, and the ground was icy beneath her feet as she walked towards the front door. At least there was no problem with mud tonight. No excuse for Bram to carry her again either.
This was her father’s night, Sophie told herself fiercely when they arrived at Glebe Farm, and she wasn’t going to think about anything else. So she smiled and laughed and made a fuss of him, and was pleased to see that he was enjoying himself, in his own taciturn way.
Her mother was in her element, of course. She loved having everybody there, and Sophie was touched at the effort she had made to make this a special day for Joe. Her parents were very different characters, but they understood each other and their marriage had endured. Would she and Bram still be married after thirty-three years?
Even if it didn’t work out she would always be glad that she’d been here tonight for her father. It was all very Christmassy, with the scent of pine cones burning on the open fire and carols playing in the background. They even had mulled wine.
‘Not too much for you two, though,’ Harriet said, wagging her finger jovially at Bram and Sophie. ‘It’s very potent, and we don’t want you with hangovers tomorrow!’
Sophie smiled and tried not to notice how close Melissa and Bram seemed to be. It wasn’t anything they said, or anything they did. It was just a feeling she had when she saw them together. Nick was moody, and Melissa had been on edge when they arrived, but her sister relaxed perceptibly as Bram teased her and made a point of drawing her into the conversation.
She shouldn’t be jealous because Bram was taking the trouble to make her sister feel better, Sophie told herself. Melissa had always brought out the protective instincts in Bram, and nothing was going to change that. It didn’t necessarily mean that he was still in love with her.
Sitting beside her father, Sophie reminded herself of what Bram had said about moving on. He wanted to forget the past, he had said. Melissa’s marriage to Nick, followed by his mother’s death, had convinced him to put his love for Melissa behind him and start afresh, make a new life with Sophie.
Sophie wanted to believe him—but how could he stop loving Melissa when Melissa was right there, so beautiful and so needy? It was too much to expect Bram to remember his determination to move on with Sophie when Melissa was gazing at him with her lovely violet eyes and blossoming at his attention.
‘You’re very quiet, love.’ Her father broke into Sophie’s thoughts. ‘Is everything all right?’
‘Of course.’ Sophie smiled brightly and squeezed his hand, hoping that her face hadn’t betrayed her as she watched Bram and her sister.
Joe’s gaze had followed hers, and his eyes rested thoughtfully on Melissa, who was laughing at something Bram had said.
‘I sometimes think you didn’t get all the attention you should have done when you were growing up,’ he said to Sophie. ‘Melissa was never as strong or as independent as you, and she seemed to need looking after in a way that you didn’t. You always looked out for her too, even when you were just a little girl yourself. Maybe we all looked after Melissa too much,’ said Joe. ‘It might have been better to let her find her own way sometimes, instead of always relying on someone else.’
‘She’s got Nick to look after her now.’
‘Ye-es.’ Joe sounded a bit doubtful as he glanced at Nick, who was talking to Harriet and shooting jealous glances in Melissa’s direction. It didn’t take much to guess that he suspected the closeness that Sophie had seen between his wife and Bram, and he didn’t care for it any more than she did.
‘I’m just glad you’re marrying Bram,’ Joe said to Sophie. ‘Now you’ll have someone to look after you for a change.’
Sophie smiled, but her heart twisted. She didn’t need Bram to look after her; she needed him to love her the way she loved him. But, seeing him with Melissa tonight, she was increasingly unsure that she was going to get what she wanted now more than anything else.
‘I’m fine, Dad,’ she said. ‘But we shouldn’t be talking about me anyway. Or Melissa. This is your night!’
‘Yes, and it means a lot to me that you and Melissa are here,’ Joe told her. ‘All your mother and I ever wanted was for you both to be happy.’
‘I know, Dad, and we are.’
‘Are you, Sophie? Really?’
‘Really,’ she said firmly. ‘I’m getting married tomorrow. I couldn’t be happier.’
This evening was to celebrate her father’s birthday, and she wasn’t going to spoil it by so much as a suggestion of any doubts.
To convince him, Sophie exerted herself to be on sparkling form for the rest of the evening. Bram helped her to keep the conversation light and cheerful, but Nick contributed little, and Melissa was suspiciously bright-eyed, with a feverish edge to her smile that worried Sophie.
‘I’ll clear away and make some coffee,’ Melissa said, jumping up at the end of the meal as if she couldn’t wait for a chance to get away. ‘No, Mum, you’ve done enough—and, Nick, you’d better stay off that knee.’
‘I’ll give you a hand,’ said Bram, and got to his feet before Sophie could offer.
Melissa smiled at him gratefully. ‘What would we do without you, Bram?’
There was a momentary silence after they had gathered up the pudding dishes and disappeared in the direction of the kitchen. Nick looked sour, and as if he were about to make some comment, but Sophie forestalled him, turning quickly to her mother with a question ab
out the catering arrangements for the next day.
As she had predicted, that kept Harriet occupied for some time, but eventually even her mother noticed how long Bram and Melissa were taking.
‘What are they doing in there? I hope they’re not doing all the washing up.’
‘I hope the washing up is all they’re doing,’ muttered Nick under his breath.
Hoping that her parents hadn’t heard, Sophie pushed back her chair abruptly. ‘I’ll go and see if they need a hand.’
The kitchen was empty when she walked in, but she could hear voices in the utility room. Without thinking, Sophie went over—only to stop dead in the doorway, her heart freezing at the sight of Bram holding Melissa in his arms, his brown head bent towards her golden one.
Bram had his back to the door, and neither of them was aware of Sophie watching, rigid with despair.
‘It’s not too late,’ he was saying. ‘Just tell him that you’ve changed your mind.’
‘I’m not sure I can,’ Melissa wept into his shoulder.
‘You can if you really want to,’ said Bram tenderly. ‘It’s never too late to say you’ve made a mistake.’
Sophie turned before she overheard any more, and walked back across the kitchen. ‘Hey, what are you two doing in here?’ she called from the door, as if she had just arrived from the dining room. She felt sick inside, but her voice sounded perfectly normal. She was not going to provoke a scene on her father’s birthday, whatever happened. ‘We’re gasping for our coffee!’
Bram appeared out of the utility room, and if Sophie hadn’t known better she would have sworn his expression was tinged with relief. ‘Just coming,’ he said cheerfully. ‘We’ve got everything in the dishwasher.’
‘Sorry we’ve been so long.’ Melissa appeared beside him. She looked as if she had been crying, but—typically—it only made her look more beautiful and fragile than ever. When Sophie cried her skin went red and blotchy, her eyes puffed up and she looked awful, but not Melissa.
