“Do you remember what you did?”
“Yeah. The kid was no threat.”
Anna watched Aidan’s expression, wondering if he would explain what had happened next. When he didn’t say anything more, she had no problem describing what she had witnessed.
“You went to your knees, put the gun on the ground, and held out your hands. I couldn’t hear what you said to him. Do you remember?”
“No.”
The answer wasn’t abrupt, so she thought maybe he didn’t remember. And even though she hadn’t been able to hear his words, witnessing that one moment of kindness had given her the warmth she had been seeking.
“Whatever you said made a remarkable impression on him.”
Anna saw the scene as if it had happened yesterday. The little boy had dropped the knife on the ground and had thrown himself into Aidan’s arms. They’d stayed like that for several moments, and Aidan had talked to him the whole time. Then Aidan had picked up his gun and the knife, and holding the little boy’s hand, he’d led him away.
Other than her rescue, that was the best memory she had of those horrific days.
“He was just a kid.”
He didn’t get it. Probably because he hadn’t seen his actions as anything more than doing his job and being the man he was. Anna had seen a tough, strong man with a compassionate heart. She had seen a hero.
“When I saw how you were with him, I thought you probably had kids of your own.”
A cool light entered his eyes, and with regret she recognized that the conversation was over. Whatever was in Aidan’s past wasn’t something he was willing to share with her. That made her sad, not only because she wanted to know him better, but because whatever had happened to him must have been incredibly painful. After all these years, he was still hurting.
“If your feet are dry enough, you might want to get your socks on. The rain should be ending soon.”
Anna pulled socks from her backpack, put them on, and then slipped her feet into her boots. She glanced over at Aidan, surprised to see that he was looking at her, an unusual consternation on his handsome face.
“What?”
“I don’t dislike you.”
She flashed him a lighthearted grin. “I thought we already established that.”
“It’s important that you understand that.”
Her heart turned over at his concern. Aidan cared about hurting her feelings. She was about to tell him that he really was a nice guy, when he opened his mouth and spoiled the nice moment.
“But you need to understand that there can never be anything between us. Not even friendship.”
Her hackles rose. He didn’t even want to be her friend? Eyes narrowed with temper, she didn’t hold back her thoughts. “If I’m not mistaken, you’re the one who’s kissed me. Twice! I neither initiated, nor did I enjoy your mauling.”
Okay, so the last part was a bald-faced lie, but a girl had her pride, didn’t she?
“The first kiss was to save your life. I had to make sure those assholes knew you were under my protection.”
“Oh, right. And the second kiss? The one in the Land Rover before we got started? What was it for? Was there a snake or a poisonous spider outside the car window that had its evil eye on me? You wanted to make sure they knew not to mess with me, too? Give it up, Aidan. I know you—”
“Dammit, Bradford. Shut up.”
“What?”
Grabbing her by the shoulders, he pulled her to him and growled, “Just. Shut. Up.” And then his mouth was on hers.
While her mind was telling her to struggle in his arms and demand he let her go, her body said what he was doing was just fine with her. Deciding she could let her mind chastise her later, she went with what the rest of her wanted. Wrapping her arms around Aidan’s waist, she gave herself up to the glorious sensation of being exactly where she wanted to be.
Had he ever tasted anything sweeter? Aidan couldn’t get enough of her, would never get enough of her. His conscience was blaring a warning in his head. It told him to let her go. Told him to apologize for being a jerk and try to pretend this craziness had never happened. It was too late for that. Way too late.
He pushed Anna until she was lying on her back, and then he was over her, tasting, devouring. Seemed like he’d been dreaming of this forever. His body screamed with the need to be inside her. His hands ached to touch every silken inch of her. He wanted to spend hours exploring what turned her on, what she liked, what would drive her crazy.
Even while he told himself this was not the best place to do all the things he dreamed of doing to her, his hand delved into her shirt, palming her full, round breast. Then, as if it had a will all its own, his hand left her breast and slid beneath the waistband of her pants, gliding over a silken stomach as it headed to paradise.
Anna’s mouth was open as she accepted and dueled with his tongue. Her hands were beneath his shirt, caressing his back, pressing his body harder against hers. He didn’t want to stop kissing her, but he wanted to see her, had to see her.
Lifting his head, his breath rasping from his lungs, body heavy with need, Aidan looked down at the beautifully aroused woman beneath him. Brown eyes were open, simmering with fire, luscious mouth wet and swollen from his kiss. Her face was flushed, her entire body arched upward in need, acceptance. Surrender.
The hand that had been lying dormant against her belly slid lower. His finger tangled with tight curls, and Aidan had to grit his teeth to keep from ripping her pants down and taking her here and now. His timing was lousy as usual, so while he couldn’t do the one thing his body throbbed, demanded, and wanted more than anything, he could at least give them this.
Aidan slipped his fingers into her crease and groaned at the wet heat he found there. He went farther, found her opening, and slid one finger, then two, inside. At first, he just held them there, allowing her to feel the invasion, allowing himself to savor the heat. She was already throbbing. Already on edge. His eyes locked with hers as his fingers began to move, first slowly, easily, and then when she gasped, spread her legs wider for him, his touch was firmer, harder.
The only sounds were her heavy breaths, his pounding heart, and the torrential rain around them. They were alone in this intimate, sensual moment, surrounded by nature and need. He watched as she reached for satisfaction. Her face was flushed, her eyes glittering with heat. Her entire body arched up from the ground, and she gave a half gasp, half scream.
Aidan felt a moment of intense satisfaction. He hadn’t found release himself, but seeing Anna let go and lose herself in a sensual moment was mind-blowingly fulfilling. He refused to ask himself why that was.
He lowered his head, kissing her again as his fingers slowed, allowing her to ride out her peak a little longer. She shuddered one last time, and then her body went limp, quiescent.
Her entire body felt floaty, wondrously dreamy. Aidan’s kiss, now slow and languorous, was both sweet and sexy. His mouth was soft, coaxing, gentle, almost as if they’d both achieved satisfaction. Anna’s mind, blurred from pleasure, could still recognize the signs of a man who, though on the edge of physical pain, could give her this, easing her down to earth.
She could barely comprehend what had happened. One minute, she’d been snarling at Aidan, and the next, he was kissing her like he couldn’t get enough of her.
Finally, he raised his head. A part of her told her she should be embarrassed, but Anna never had been, never would be, a shrinking violet. This man, mysterious, sexy, gorgeous, and heroic, had given her something beautiful. She wasn’t about to pretend it hadn’t happened, or that she didn’t want it to happen again.
She could, however, joke with him. “I’m glad you like me.”
His smile was almost sad as he sat back and looked around them. “The rain has stopped.”
She had noted the cessation of sound. The birds were singing once again. Within a span of a few moments, the world had gone through a metamorphosis. And so had she.
&n
bsp; “You ready to go?”
She sat up and adjusted her clothing. Just like that, the moment was over. They dropped onto the damp ground, slipped on their backpacks, and started walking again.
Anna couldn’t decide whether she was disappointed in his behavior or not. She couldn’t say she was surprised. Aidan had made it clear that, though he liked her, nothing could happen between them. One orgasm, no matter how spectacular, did not make a relationship. It had been a few minutes out of a lifetime. Extremely glorious minutes, but it was over. Now she needed to decide how to move forward.
She shot a sideways glance at the silent man beside her. There was no doubt how he intended to move forward. His blank expression said it all. If anyone saw them now, no one would guess that only a few moments ago, they’d been so immersed in each other that an earthquake couldn’t have pulled them apart. Now, although she knew he was aware of everything around them, he acted as if she weren’t there. As if she didn’t exist.
She reminded herself once again that this was not the time for a confrontation. Rescuing Carrie had to take precedence over everything else. But if Aidan thought he could give her just that much of himself and no more, he was wrong. Whether he wanted it or not, she was going to be part of his life. Just as he was already part of hers.
It was way too late for them both.
Chapter Eleven
Other than telling her to watch her step on a large slippery rock, Aidan hadn’t said a word in almost an hour. What could he say that wouldn’t make the situation worse? What he had done was incomprehensible and contemptible. For the first time in thirty-three years, he had let his body overrule his brain. He’d done the difficult thing and told her nothing could happen between them, and then he’d done a great job of convincing her by making out with her.
Real smart, Thorne. All those years he’d spent in school meant nothing when it came to doing the smart thing with Anna Bradford.
“Aidan, you don’t have to look so morose. I don’t expect a marriage proposal, you know.”
“Good to know, since I don’t do marriage.”
“You don’t believe in marriage?”
“For the right person, yeah.”
“So you don’t see yourself ever settling down?”
His chest went tight. Yeah, at one time, that was exactly who he’d been. Mr. Stable. Mr. Reliable. Mr. I Have My Shit Together Thorne. Mr. So Much In Love With His Wife He Couldn’t See Straight. He’d had it all. He was the golden boy with the perfect, untouchable life. Nothing bad ever happened to charmed people like him. Until the day it had, and everything had been destroyed.
“Aidan? You didn’t answer. You don’t plan to ever marry?”
“Never again.”
“You’ve been married?”
“Once. It was enough.”
“You’re divorced?”
“No.”
Surprising the hell out of him, she touched his hand and said, “I’m sorry. How did she die?”
“It was a long time ago. I don’t like to talk about it.”
“Of course. I understand. If you ever do, though, I’ll be glad to listen.”
His chest went even tighter, and Aidan had to fight every instinct to haul her back into his arms. Why did she have to be so damned sweet?
The farther up the mountain, the denser the jungle. Aidan was grateful for the distraction of the heavy growth. Using the machete to clear a path for them kept his mind off the physical ache he could do nothing to assuage. If he thought that those intimate moments they’d shared would make things awkward, he was right. Going from an arousal so intense he wanted to howl with need to pretending that nothing had happened was out of his realm of expertise.
He wanted her. He couldn’t have her. Damned if he would be happy about it.
Even though they had barely spoken in the last two hours, Aidan knew she was right on his heels. If anything threatened her—some wild animal sprang out of nowhere—he’d only have to take one step back. Protecting her was his highest priority. A snarling whisper in his head reminded him that what he had done back there on that rock was the very opposite of protecting Anna. He had indulged himself. Yes, he had given her pleasure. Big damn deal. He was smart enough to know that what he had done was pure selfishness on his part.
“Can we stop for a moment?”
The breathless woman behind him was a reminder that they hadn’t stopped in almost three hours.
“Yeah, let me find a place.”
“This will do, won’t it?”
He turned to see her sitting on an old, fallen tree. “Just be careful of insects and snakes.”
Lifting her legs, she looked around her and, seeing nothing threatening, lowered her feet to the ground.
In silence, Aidan sat down on the other end of the tree.
“I won’t bite you, Aidan.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. Anna Bradford was not the type to sweep something under the rug and pretend it hadn’t happened. Taking the easy way out was not who she was. It wasn’t Aidan’s way either, but damned if he could figure out a way to explain his actions without sounding like an idiot.
He had to address it, though, so he took a breath and tried to explain the unexplainable. “Anna, first of all, I’m—
She held up her hand. “Wait. If you apologize, I will not be responsible for my actions.”
“I wasn’t going to apologize.”
“Oh.” She frowned, and he wanted to smile at the temper simmering behind her calm façade. “Continue on, then.”
“Thank you,” Aidan said dryly. “As I was saying, I’m not the type of guy to send mixed messages, but that’s exactly what I’ve been doing for the last two days. I am attracted to you…guess I’ve made that obvious.”
“Aidan…really. You don’t have to do this. I’m old enough to realize a heavy make-out session doesn’t have to mean anything. We were two healthy adults enjoying a sensual moment, nothing more.”
She was giving him an out. All he had to do was take it, tell her he was glad she understood, and that would be that. And he would be the lowest form of sleaze if he let her believe that.
Taking the hand she had fisted on her lap, he unclenched each finger and pressed his mouth against her palm. “It meant a lot to me, Anna. But I had no right to take things that far. You’re a beautiful, passionate, intelligent woman who deserves a man she can count on. I can’t be that man.”
She looked down at their joined hands, squeezed lightly, and removed hers from his grasp. “Thank you for your honesty.”
After taking a long swallow from her bottle of water, she stood. “Guess we’d better get going.”
Aidan went to his feet, unaccountably sad. He had known whatever he said to her wouldn’t make a difference. Telling her the real reason that they could have no relationship wouldn’t change anything. He couldn’t have her…could never have her.
As Anna followed Aidan, watching him cut a trail through the thick jungle foliage, she tried to convince herself she was glad he had been so forthright with her. Even though he hadn’t given her any reasons, he had been clear that there could be no relationship. She had dated guys before who’d said pretty words that meant nothing. At least with Aidan she was safe from the lies. Unfortunately, that didn’t help her bruised heart, because despite his blunt assertions, she couldn’t change her feelings for him.
She ground her teeth together in frustration. She was not going to be the type of woman to pine over a man. She had too much pride in herself to give anyone that much power over her.
Shoulders straight, chin lifted in a defiant stance, Anna took in a deep breath. She told herself the tears in her eyes were from allergies, not her hurt feelings.
Four hours later, her bruised heart was the least of her concerns. Every single muscle in her body was screaming with exhaustion. Aidan hadn’t mentioned stopping for the night. She knew he wanted to cover as much ground as possible. Her aching body was nothing compared to what Carrie might be goin
g through. What would happen to her friend if she couldn’t help Garcia’s pregnant wife? Was Julio Garcia the type of man to arbitrarily murder an innocent woman?
“Let’s stop here for the night.”
Her mind on the horrors of what Carrie might be enduring, Anna shook her head. “We can keep on for a few more hours.”
Aidan shrugged off his backpack. “You’re exhausted, and I’m getting tired, too. In another half hour, the jungle is going to be so dark, we’ll have to use our flashlights. If Garcia has guards patrolling around here, no way they won’t see the light. Getting shot isn’t going to get us to Carrie any faster.”
“I know you’re right. I just—” She shrugged, feeling helpless. “I’m so worried for her.”
Instead of answering right away, Aidan went around to her back and eased the backpack off her shoulders. Anna almost cried at the relief. When they’d started out this morning, she’d thought the bag was quite light. Now she felt as if a fifty-pound bag had been lifted from her.
Aidan dropped her pack on the ground and turned her around to face him. Hands on her shoulders, he bent his knees to make eye contact with her. “Julio may be a hothead, but he’s no idiot. Kidnapping an American citizen is already going to bring a world of hurt down on him. He knows that murdering one would be a million times more stupid.”
She let the truth of his words settle into her and felt the tension lessen. “You’re right. Thank you.”
He squeezed her shoulders lightly and stepped away. “Let’s get settled before it gets too dark. I don’t want to use the flashlight for long periods of time if we can help it.”
The place Aidan had chosen to stop was surprisingly inviting looking. The ground was covered with short, springy grass and only minimal twigs and branches. Anna cleared those off while Aidan cut down giant fronds from a large green plant.
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