by Becky Black
But as the game began and the chatting ended, Raine felt the unmistakable hostility coming from Parker. He couldn’t be sulking, could he? Okay, he’d wanted Kit, might even have had him once—Raine felt a stab of jealousy when he thought of that—but Kit had chosen Raine. No need for a grown man to get so bent out of shape about it; they weren’t teenagers.
It didn’t help his concentration, and he needed to concentrate. He hadn’t played in some time and knew the more serious players in the group would be watching him closely. They’d want to assess if he was a serious player too or only here for the networking.
Parker played badly, perhaps too busy giving Raine the evil eye to concentrate on his game, and his stack of chips went down fast. Raine’s fell too initially, but, as Parker folded more and more often, Raine got a second wind and began to regain his momentum. The old tactics came back to him. By the time they finished up for the night, he’d nearly doubled his money.
“You’ve been holding out on me, Chief,” Dryden said. “You told me you’re not much of a player, but I see you’re going home richer tonight.”
“Yes, the chief is good at holding out,” Parker muttered, attracting a few curious glances. He stood and moved away from the table. The others followed, but Parker didn’t head for the drinks like the rest; instead he strode out of the room. Raine followed him. If attending these games would do him good on the ship, then he didn’t need to have any complications thrown in to mess it up. He caught up a few meters away, taking Parker’s arm to stop him.
“Parker, can we talk?”
“Take your hand off me.” Parker pulled his arm away. “I’ve nothing to say to you.”
“Look, I appreciate you have a problem with me and Kit being together.”
“What, you think this is jealousy? I don’t give a flying fuck about you and Miller. And I have no problem with him. I have a problem with you being a hypocritical bastard.”
Raine saw it then. He’d warned Parker off because he’d been jealous. The man had even thanked him, like Raine had prevented him making a big mistake. He must think Raine had it planned all along—warn off anyone he saw as a rival, to clear the field for himself.
“I’m sorry. I know I told you—”
“You told me an officer of this ship shouldn’t get involved with a stowaway, and now you are involved with him. That’s hypocrisy.”
“I didn’t plan it this way.”
“I used to think you were an honest man. Straight dealing. I won’t make the mistake of trusting you again.” He turned to go but stopped and looked back. “And let me put you on notice. I do still want him, and I see no reason to back off and let you have the field to yourself.”
Raine clenched his fists and came close to knocking Parker the length of the corridor but kept hold of enough control not to give in to the urge. He’d end up in the brig, lose his job and his pension, and might never see Kit again. Parker turned to walk away.
“Did you have him before?” The question was ripped from an uncontrolled and primitive part of Raine’s mind.
Parker turned back, smiling, losing the anger when he saw he had something he could hold over Raine. “Wouldn’t you like to know? Perhaps you should ask him. Good night.” He delivered the last words in the same tone a man might say “fuck you.”
Raine watched him stride off and wondered what to do now. He could go back to the ready room and have a couple of drinks and network with the captain and other officers. Or he could grow wings and fly. About as likely. He checked the time. Barely 2200. Kit might still be working. He’d come to Raine’s cabin when he finished. It had become their usual routine.
Screw routine. He wanted to see Kit now.
* * *
Raine found Kit sweeping the kitchen floor when he arrived—usually the final job of the cleanup evolution.
“Hey, handsome, come to walk me home? How was the game?” Kit grinned. “Were you corporate? Did you score a load of points?”
“Had a few scored against me.”
Kit looked curious, but Raine didn’t explain. He had to put the picture of Kit with Jon Parker out of his mind. He could think of only one way to blank his mind out enough to eliminate the image.
Kit gasped when Raine grabbed him around the waist and pushed him back against the nearest bulkhead. Raine swallowed the gasp, mouth on Kit’s, tongue in deep, demanding more of him. He ran his hands over Kit’s slim waist, on down to his hips. Too damn bony, should get you in the gym, my boy. Get him in and have him over a weights bench…
Kit pulled back, laughing, joyful, surprised.
“Let me guess—the captain put the whole ship into the pot, and you won it?”
“Stop talking.” Raine covered Kit’s too busy mouth again. Talks too much. Better things to do with his beautiful mouth. But he broke the kiss first this time, because he wanted to taste Kit’s skin. He kissed an ear, down his neck, feeling the hot racing pulse under his lips, smelling the lingering scents of cleaning fluids and cooking trapped in Kit’s hair and clothes.
“Oh God, you’re driving me crazy, Raine.”
“Say my name. Say Dan.”
“Dan. Dan!” He laughed, joy in it again. “My man Dan. Oh! Fuck!” Raine had reached down inside Kit’s baggy pants and taken hold of his growing cock. “Raine, Raine, slow down.”
“I want you.”
“Trish is still here.”
“Screw Trish.”
“She’s not my type. Let’s go to your cabin.”
They should. Raine knew he was letting his lust control him, letting it mix with the wasted adrenaline from the confrontation with Parker, anger and jealousy adding a garnish. But he couldn’t wait. He couldn’t. He needed Kit here. Now. He wanted Kit’s cock in his mouth, wanted to make him come hard, harder than Parker had—might have. Raine could never ask Kit if he and Parker had… Too humiliating to ask. Kit would either tell him or would tell him to mind his own damn business, and Raine would make the worst of either answer. Better not to know. Better to prove himself the better lover, better man.
“Okay,” Kit said as if hearing an answer from Raine, though he hadn’t spoken. His begging lips and demanding hands said everything Raine couldn’t say in words. “This way.”
He led Raine into a cooler. A cooler, of all things.
“What is this, revenge for my hot cabin?”
“Something like that. Shut the door and keep quiet, for fuck’s sake.”
“I’ll keep quiet,” Raine said, backing him up in the dim interior, only an emergency light above them. “My mouth will be full.” They went around behind shelves, invisible from the door. “You, on the other hand, might need something to bite down on.”
“Dan…” Kit’s back hit the wall, and he grabbed at it to steady himself while Raine dropped instantly to his knees. The frigid floor bit through the fabric of his pants. The chilly air was already affecting him; his nipples were painfully erect with the combination of desire and cold. But the cold wasn’t giving Kit any trouble. He fumbled off his apron, and Raine pulled down the baggy, elastic-waisted pants, revealing his cock, turned livid red by the emergency light.
Like blood. As if the hot blood within showed on the outside. The blood roused by Raine’s kisses and touch. And by his lips as he dipped his head and engulfed it, the flesh so hot he felt it warmed him through, counteracting the cold.
Kit moaned and grabbed Raine’s head on both sides, something he didn’t normally do, usually too much in control. Did he feel as out of control as Raine? Out of control and yet loving it. Loving the rush of it as he took Kit in deeper, deeper than he normally dared, feeling a new confidence. Was beyond the boundaries of control where confidence and courage came from? Was staying in control just another way of being afraid?
Like combat. He’d felt like this in combat. His body took the lead. But not quite like combat, no fear of death, only anticipation, need, mounting need for completion—for both of them. Kit ground his hips and moaned softly, restrained
only by the need for quiet, something Raine didn’t even care about in this strange moment. Let them be heard, let everyone know he called this beautiful man his lover. Be proud of making him cry out with ecstasy.
If Trish Ellis was still out there in her office, she must have heard the shout Kit gave as he climaxed. Raine had started shivering, despite his mounting excitement, and Kit’s cum felt like drinking from the hot faucet. Burned like brandy for a freezing man. He took it all before he stood, catching the panting and wobbly-legged Kit in his arms.
“My God, Raine… Dan. That was intense.”
“I need…”
But Kit needed no prompting, already unzipping Raine’s pants, reaching inside. The cold hand on his cock made Raine bite down an oath. But nothing short of packing it in ice could have made his erection wilt.
“Quickly…cold…” Raine’s teeth began to chatter. If they’d gone into a freezer, he’d have hypothermia already. Kit just kept rubbing Raine’s cock, hand inside his pants. Good. Keep it in the warm. Kit’s hand warmed up quick enough, as it pumped in a faster and faster rhythm.
“Yes,” Raine moaned out. He kissed Kit again, hard, tongue probing, invading. “Oh God, Kit.”
“What’s with you tonight?” Kit said. “You’re so noisy. You’re crazed.”
“Can’t help it.” Raine moaned against Kit’s neck. “You do this to me. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, did I say you needed to apologize?” Raine felt the laugh in the movement of Kit’s throat, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Don’t apologize. I love it.”
“I love you.”
Oh no, that wasn’t what he’d meant to say. Kit’s body tensed against his, and Raine wanted to say something, but his climax broke over him, engulfing his mind, scouring his thoughts from the surface.
By the time he came back to reality, Kit had zipped him up. The tension remained in his body, even though he smiled at Raine.
“We should get out of here before you freeze to death, you big lizard you.”
“Good idea.” Raine felt dull and sluggish already, though this could be the reaction to the orgasm. He wanted to sleep. A standing-up knee-trembler might be nice, but it didn’t give you the option of a refreshing nap afterward.
“If Trish has locked the coolers, we’re kind of screwed,” Kit said, putting his apron back on.
“I have my Link. We’d just call someone.”
“Fine.” Kit grinned, face positively demonic in the red light. “So will you explain what we were doing in here, or should I?”
“Oh.” Thinking of the knowing grin he’d see on the face of whoever let them out made Raine break out in a cold sweat, despite the temperature in here. And only a few minutes ago, he’d been thinking he didn’t care if someone saw them doing it. Desire must be a kind of madness. He’d never think that way when in his right mind.
When Kit pulled the handle and the door opened, Raine sighed with relief. They went out into the galley, dim with only the emergency light on. A piece of sticky paper clung to the door of the cooler.
Lock up before you leave.
Trish Ellis knew, Raine thought. She knew they were in there, and she had to know Kit wasn’t giving him a tour of the galley’s coolers.
“You’re blushing,” Kit said as he locked the cooler.
“Can you blame me?”
“Aw, just when I was bringing out the wild man in you.” There was silence for a moment. “It’s late. I think, ah, I’d better go back to the bunk room. You know, spend a night in my own bed, for appearance’s sake.”
“Kit, I—”
“I’d invite you to join me, but I don’t think your team needs to see your naked ass. It could undermine your authority.”
Talks too much. Talking to avoid talking. To avoid talking about what Raine had said.
I love you.
Could he claim he’d said it in the madness of desire? Claim it meant nothing?
“Okay,” Raine said. “I’m tired anyway.”
“Your bunk isn’t big enough for two. Not to mention either I’m frying or you’re freezing. Come on, hustle it, so I can lock the kitchen door.”
Raine hustled it, and they went out through the galley into the corridor.
“See you tomorrow.” Raine didn’t claim a kiss. He turned away and headed for officer country, the opposite way to the direction Kit would take.
“Good night, Raine.”
Raine, not Dan, and Raine heard some tension in his voice. He glanced back, but Kit was already walking away.
Chapter Thirteen
“Come to the galley late tonight,” Kit said at the end of his daily check-in on the day after Raine practically dragged him into the cooler.
“Why? Do you intend to lure me into a freezer and make my dick freeze off entirely?”
Kit grinned. He couldn’t imagine what incentive he’d have to do that. “Hey, I was the one who wanted to go back to your sauna of a cabin. You were the one who insisted we stay there.”
“More fool me. I still haven’t warmed up.” Raine held up his gloved hands.
“I suppose you’re wearing long winter underwear too?”
“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
“Ooh, the sexy image of that is going to keep me hard all day. Just come to the galley. Late, after 2300. And keep your pants zipped; we won’t be alone.” He turned and left, smirking at the puzzled expression on Raine’s face, not giving him time to ask what Kit’s scheme might be. He’d find out.
Raine being Raine, he turned up at 2300 on the dot. From the galley, Kit heard the door into the mess deck open and Raine call out, “Hello?” He hurried out there.
“Keep it down, big mouth. Come on through here.” Crew members standing watch popped into the mess deck throughout the night to grab coffee and snacks. Kit didn’t want them seeing any activity, so he’d rolled the shutter down over the serving counter. He locked the door behind them when Raine followed him into the galley.
“Hi, Chief,” Gracie said from one of the prep tables, working on filling bowls of vegetables and other ingredients. “Thanks for agreeing to this.”
“He doesn’t know what he’s agreed to yet,” Kit said. “I was, hah, mysterious.” He led Raine to a table set up for one person. “Sit. You’re going to be the guinea pig.”
“For what?” Raine asked suspiciously.
“Gracie’s recipe. She’s thinking of taking the cook’s exams and wants to try some stuff out.”
“You’re going for food-handler rating?” Raine sounded surprised, and Kit scowled at him. Idiot. “Ah, that’s great,” he added quickly.
“She’s wasted here,” Kit said, joining her at the prep table and bumping his hip with hers, making her giggle.
“It was Kit’s idea.”
“Oh, nonsense, you said the captain suggested it. I just encouraged you a bit. You can do it, Gracie. Just gotta have the confidence.”
“Anything I can do to help?” Raine asked from the table.
“Make yummy noises,” Kit told him, and Gracie giggled again.
Raine rolled his eyes. “I meant to help you make it.”
“No, no, you sit there looking sexy, and we’ll wait on you. People pay for service like that.” He winked at Gracie. “Come on, hon. Let’s show lizard boy what you can do. And you’re in charge. Treat me as your personal slave.”
“People pay for service like that too,” Raine said.
“Chief!” Gracie put on an expression of shock, and Kit threw a dried mushroom at Raine.
“Behave. We’re working here.”
They worked, Kit encouraging her to boss him around as much as she liked, which she eventually started to get the hang of. He called her ma’am. Raine watched them, not saying much, a smile on his face as if he was enjoying the show. Kit prided himself on always putting on a good show.
But the banter and kidding around couldn’t make him forget what his every glance at the cooler door forcibly reminded him of. “I love you.
” Had Raine been carried away by the passion of the moment? Kit had heard plenty of men say “I love you” when they were having an orgasm. It didn’t usually stick afterward. But Raine was different, as Kit kept being reminded. He might mean it. And if he did? Kit hadn’t said it back. His mind had frozen with shock when he heard it, in fact. But did not saying it mean he didn’t feel it?
He looked at Raine—Dan—sitting there with an amused look, patiently suffering their teasing. He’d agreed to be the taste-tester for Gracie. Most of the other men Kit had been involved with wouldn’t bother to make the time to help someone like Gracie. She’d be beneath their notice. But Raine was making the time, for Gracie and for Kit. Was Raine a man Kit could love? His hotness and the great sex were factors too.
“What are you grinning about?” Gracie said, catching him looking at Raine with a sappy expression.
“Nothing, sorry, ma’am.”
He had nothing to grin about. Falling in love with Raine would be a huge mistake. And letting Raine fall in love with him would be nothing short of cruel. It would lead only to misery, and Raine seemed like the sort of man for whom pain embedded deep and never healed. Raine couldn’t shake off the hurt the way Kit had over Jeff. Jeff. What a dick. What had Kit ever seen in him?
He’d ignore the “I love you,” Kit decided. Raine wouldn’t say it again without Kit saying it first—far too macho. He probably wanted to forget it too. Heat of the moment. Nothing more to it.
“Get the vegetables!” Gracie ordered, sounding a bit panicky as she dealt with the pan with the beef in it.
Kit quickly plated up the vegetables, and Gracie added the meat, groaning when she spilled a drop of the sauce on the table. “It’s ready.”
They served Raine with a lot of fussing around him, then stood and watched him eat until he got self-conscious and asked if they minded not doing that, please.
“Come on, let’s clean up and let him enjoy it,” Kit said. He hoped the look he gave Raine conveyed quite clearly that he’d better enjoy it or there’d be hell to pay later. Raine got it. He had cleared his plate by the time they came back to bus his table.
“Was it okay?” Gracie asked nervously.
