by Tasha Jones
Jackie rolled her eyes. “Oh calm down. The Upper East Side is so quiet you can hear a pin drop. Plus Brooklyn will always be home to New York's greatest artists,” she replied as she followed her into her own house.
Victoria dropped a bag onto the table and placed the coffee tumbler she had in her hand on the kitchen table. “What's all of this?” Jackie asked, picking up the warm tumbler.
Victoria shrugged, taking off her jean jacket and putting it on their dining room chair. She opened her mouth to respond, but just as words were about to come out of her mouth, Laila came running out towards them. “Tori!!” she screeched, charging right at Victoria.
Victoria squatted in front of her, holding her arms out in anticipation.
Jackie jumped out of the way as Laila bounded into her arms and Victoria swooped her up. She raised an eyebrow at the sight of her best friend see-sawing her daughter up and down and was overwhelmed with the feeling that nothing had changed. “You're spoiling my daughter lifting her up like that,” Jackie muttered.
Victoria giggled as she put Laila down. “I just made a painting!” she yelled excitedly.
Victoria's eyes went wide. “Oh you did?” she replied, hamming up her own excitement. “Well, go get it! Let me see it!” Laila nodded excitedly, and then ran back into the studio.
Once Laila had disappeared around the corner, Victoria turned back to Jackie, who had just picked up the mug and was beginning to unscrew it.
“I brought you a little bit of something old and a little bit of something new,” she explained.
But Jackie's eyes grew even wider as the smell of the house mix from Think Coffee reached her nose. It was her favorite coffee shop from downtown Manhattan. She used to go there to snag a quick cup before heading to the one politics class she had ever taken. It was more for her parents than anyone else as they were the ones who were convinced that she could do real academia beyond whatever schooling was required for her degree, but the truth was that she needed more coffee than an entire law firm to get through one stupid lecture. But she fell in love with Think. She sighed. “Oh, just the smell of this reminds me of a better time,” she murmured, her eyes watering with a strange melancholy.
Victoria shrugged. “Oh, come on!” she scolded. “How was greasy food and sneaking into clubs any better than a spacious loft in the most hipster spot on the planet?” she demanded as she made her way to the table. “Here. I got you something way better than 8 AM lectures,” she picked up the bag and sifted through it, pulling out a small packet of macaroons.
Jackie's eyes went wide. “From the Upper East Side?” she asked.
Victoria nodded. “From the Upper East Side,” she replied.
As Jackie sat down to open her new treats, Laila came back, this time walking, not running, with her canvas in hand. “Here it is!” she exclaimed, placing it on the table for Victoria to see.
Victoria took a look at it, and then raised an eyebrow. “It's a boy...?” she replied, glancing up at Jackie. “Does she have a crush?”
Jackie rolled her eyes. “Yes,” she replied in a short voice.
“Who is he?” she asked.
“Her doctor.” Jackie replied in a dry voice.
Victoria giggled, running her hands through Laila's wild hair. “Doctor Allan Chase,” she retorted.
“Don't do that. Don't say his name like he's Prince Charming.”
Victoria shrugged. “You made him sound like he was, over the phone,” she replied.
Jackie scoffed. “Yeah. He's just a god.”
She chuckled. “And you're just too angry,” she replied.
Jackie sat down at the table, putting her head in her hands. Her heart was pounding again and she felt like she was flying and falling all at the same time.
Victoria sighed. “Laila, honey, why don't you go catch up on SpongeBob,” she muttered as she leaned into Jackie.
Laila scoffed. “SpongeBob is for losers.”
Victoria's eyes went wide. “SpongeBob is Gospel. Now go. Mommy and I have to talk.”
Laila reluctantly got up and left the room, but not without leaving her canvas there for the two of them to look at.
Victoria wrapped her hands around Jackie's arm, forcing her to look at her. “All right, what's the real deal here?”
“He asked me to call him,” she replied.
Victoria shrugged. “So...”
“So, I've never wanted to do something so badly in my life,” she replied.
“So why don't you?” Victoria asked.
Jackie opened her mouth to respond, but then stopped herself. It was a fantastic question. Why didn't she just take that leap? What on earth was stopping her? “I just... I'm not the girl that I used to be,” she started a lump growing in her throat. “The girl that calls doctors and flirts with good-looking men is the girl that doesn't have a child... or nightmares for that matter. How could I even-”
“Single moms date all the time,” Victoria replied.
But Jackie just shook her head. “No. It’s not just Laila. It's me. I don't know how I would even begin to get to know him. I'm so damaged. I've got so much baggage, it's disgusting.”
Victoria gave her an even stare. “I completely agree with you. You have baggage. But so does everyone else. I know it just seems really hard right now but your life is still going. You aren't in some weird limbo waiting to send Laila to college. You've got to get back out there. If you don't, you might end up alone forever.”
Those words were enough to send Jackie's heart plummeting to her stomach like a dead rock. The thought of ending up alone, with a bunch of cats and her daughter's daily schedule engrained in her mind was a little too much to bear.
Victoria placed a hand over hers. “Are you all right?” she asked.
Jackie could feel the pity oozing out of her and the last thing she wanted was to drown in it. “Yes. I'm just fine,” she replied. She then tilted her head in the direction of the living room. “Laila!” she called. “Come get some macaroons!”
From the sound of Laila's footsteps rapidly approaching, Victoria could tell that the conversation was most definitely over.
Chapter Six
The next day, Jackie found herself on her couch with her Sunday morning date: Laila. She made four large pancakes and drowned them in syrup because it was the weekend and both of them really needed to splurge. She took a fork and cut her way through the cake, shoving the dripping thing in her mouth. The thick syrup coated her entire mouth and made her feel like she was in heaven. She glanced down at Laila, expecting her to be enjoying it just as much as she was, but she sat on the other side of the couch, guarding the remote with her life and not even looking at her plate of pancakes. Jackie took one look from her daughter, to the pancakes, to the thirtieth rerun of Scooby-Doo and realized that she just couldn't take it anymore. “Laila, why don't you eat your food? It's gonna get soaked,” she replied. She then watched expectantly as Laila struggled with the remote and picking up her plate.
Jackie raised an eyebrow. “Why don't you put the remote down and you can get your plate,” she suggested, waiting for her to finally let go of the remote.
“No,” Laila replied. “I can't let it go. I wanna finish watching,” she replied, shaking her head in a stubborn manner.
Jackie cocked her head to the side. It was almost noon and Laila hadn't had a thing to eat. It was way more about the pancakes than it was about the TV. “Look, if you don't start eating right now, I'm gonna unplug the television and conveniently forget how to reconnect it,” she replied in a harsh tone.
Laila's impish grin immediately disappeared and she set the remote down, replacing it with her plate of pancakes. “Here. Happy?” she snapped.
Jackie glowered at her. Something about Laila's attitude made Jackie want to smack her and hug her all at the same time. “You're lucky those are pancakes and not oatmeal,” she scolded.
Laila scrunched her nose in disgust. “I hate oatmeal,” she whined.
Jackie s
hrugged. “Which is why I won't give it to you... unless you give me a reason to,” she replied, wagging her finger.
Laila nodded. “Okay fine,” she replied as she shoved the pancake in her mouth.
Jackie grabbed the remote and immediately changed the channel.
“Momma!” Laila screeched.
But Jackie, for the most part unphased, turned to shoot her daughter an even stare. “We've been watching your cartoons for too long,” she retorted. “It's my turn.”
After that, Jackie commenced the long process of finding “something good,” on TV to watch. Thus, the next thirty minutes were spent flipping channels and consuming the rest of her breakfast. She never found anything good to settle on, so her mind began to wander beyond her control. She found herself thinking back to that Picasso her daughter had painted of Doctor Allan Chase. She had been toying with the idea of calling him over and over again ever since Victoria left. In fact, it was the one time talking to Victoria just made her more and more confused. She couldn't believe she had this beautiful man of an opportunity, but that she was forcing herself to ignore it. She thought she could have him if she would only go after him; if she could only stop holding herself back. Yet, that realization didn't help make anything easier. It only made her more frustrated with herself.
By the time she got through her plate and Laila got through as much of hers as she could possibly stomach, she was tired of watching the TV and forcing herself not to think about the doctor. “Okay,” she clicked off the television and stood up.
Laila flinched, confused as to why her entertainment was suddenly going away. “What?” she asked in a shrill voice.
Jackie just picked up her plate and made her way to the fridge. “It's time to do your homework,” she replied. “You have school tomorrow and it's well into the afternoon,” she explained.
Laila frowned, crossing her arms. “But I don't-”
But Jackie was not in the mood for dealing with her arguments. “No. Laila. No. You're going to do your homework, and if you behave through all of it then we will go paint for a little bit before I have to work.”
Laila grudgingly nodded then got up to go get her things. As Jackie put on one of her favorite tracks from the Del Fonics on her record player she heard someone call from downstairs. Jackie wasn't expecting anyone to visit so she was thoroughly confused. “Yes?” she called.
“Jackie?”
Jackie's heart stopped. “Doctor Chase?” she practically yelled this.
“What are you waiting for? Buzz me in!” he called.
Jackie pressed the button as if governed by some outside force. She stood with her forehead leaning against the door, her heart pounding against her chest as she waited for him to make it up the stairs. Her frown grew more and more pronounced as she realized her face was completely clear of makeup, her hair looked like she had lost a fight with a hair dryer, and all she had on was a torn pair of overalls over a sports bra so embarrassing she had stopped wearing it to the gym. She realized it was the universe punishing her for not calling, because if she had, he most certainly would not be stalking her.
The knock on the door wrenched her out of her lamenting. She yanked the door open and braced herself for impact.
Allan stood on the other side of the threshold wearing a pastel green cashmere sweater and dark pants. His eyes widened as he got a good look at Jackie in her home environment, but the way his lips folded into a half-smile let slip to Jackie that he liked what he was seeing.
“What the hell are you doing here?” she demanded. As each minute passed, she became more and more aware of how strange the fact that he was in her house was.
He shrugged, and then pushed past her into the short hallway that separated the front door from the kitchen and living room. “You never called me so I decided to hunt you down. This is a nice place you've got here,” he commented, running his perfect hands over her countertop.
Yet, all Jackie could think about were the bread crumbs that covered the other side of the counter top and how much she just was not prepared to have any visitors over, much less her model of a doctor. “How do you even know where I live?” she demanded.
He rested his forearms on the table, raising an eyebrow. “I'm your doctor. I know everything,” he replied, leaning in until less than a foot separated the two of them.
Jackie blinked twice in an effort to snatch her thoughts back from the oblivion that threatened to swallow them. The only thing she was consciously aware of was the doctor's frigid gaze and her own heart pounding in her ears. “No, you don't,” she replied, looking away from him and making her way back to her dining table.
“Oh really?” he asked as he followed her to her seat. “What, exactly am I missing so far?”
Jackie glowered at him. “You're missing the fact that I absolutely do not have visitors on Sundays,” she replied.
“No I got that.” He chuckled, the sound sending Jackie into a nearly uncontrollable frenzy.
She continued to glower at him even though she had no idea what to do next. “And how, exactly, did you know that?” she asked.
He shrugged. “You just look like you don't want to be bothered,” he replied, looking suggestively at her crazy overalls.
Jackie scoffed then stood up. Something about sitting across from the most beautiful man she had ever seen at her own dining table made her feel extremely self-conscious. She felt less vulnerable standing up, but even then, a strange kind of anxiety was beginning to build in the pit of her stomach. It was as if she was afraid of being caught with him or something. “Do you want a lemonade or something?” she asked, more than aware of how clichéd that offer was.
He raised an eyebrow, his eyes glowing with amusement. “Do you even have lemonade?” he teased.
Jackie couldn't help but to chuckle at this. “Maybe...” she trailed off, her mind working a mile a minute to find something else to change the subject to, because she did not, in fact, have any lemonade.
He laughed even harder as she opened her fridge to reveal the assortment of beers and fruit juices.
She shrugged, “I mean, do you want a Corona or something?” she asked.
He stood up and joined her in the kitchen, leaving less than a foot separating the two of them. Jackie took a generous whiff of his potent scent; that mixture of Calvin Klein and body odor that her nose had already grown accustomed to. “There's nothing I would like more,” he murmured.
Jackie had to rip her eyes away from him. She turned and grabbed a beer for him then, thinking again, she grabbed another one for herself. They had scarcely gotten them open before she heard, “Momma!” from in the other room. Her eyes went wide and she dropped the beer on the counter, brushing past the doctor to get to Laila before she came in the room. The last thing she wanted was for her daughter to see her doctor in their kitchen. That would immensely confuse her.
But in the next second, her call was echoed by the sound of her excited footsteps.
Jackie could think of nothing to do but to stand there, frozen on the spot and stunned, waiting for her to see him.
As she rounded the corner, her almond eyes went wide. “It's Doctor Chase!” she yelled as she ran across the room.
Acting on impulse, Jackie snatched her in mid-run, cutting her off from him and wrapped her arms around her to try to cover up that catastrophic display of her nervousness. “Babe!” she exclaimed, planting a harsh kiss on Laila's cheek.
She winced, shying away from her as much as she possibly could. “Momma!” she whined.
“The doctor and I are having a conversation,” she explained as she finally let her go.
Dr. Allan Chase crossed the room towards her. “How are you doing, Laila?” he asked, holding a hand up for a high five.
“I feel a lot better!” she exclaimed, twirling around as if to prove her point.
Jackie couldn't help but notice the way Allan's eyes lit up when their hands touched. He seemed to absolutely adore her daughter, which did nothing bu
t make him seem even more attractive. “That's great!” he replied.
“Okay. Okay,” Jackie muttered as she physically put herself in between Laila and the doctor. “This little altercation is over. The doctor has to go.”
She could see his face fall in her peripheral vision and that almost made her want to take back her statement.
“But he didn't see my painting!” Laila replied, tugging on a handful of Jackie's overalls.
“What painting?” the doctor quipped.
“Another time, honey,” Jackie replied as she gently motioned for her to move away.
But Laila wouldn't budge and the doctor seemed so intrigued, Jackie couldn't hope to get out of it without revealing her daughter's obvious liking for him. She knew that would only make him more and more confident. The prospect of having another mind-churning conversation with the doctor was a little bit more than Jackie could handle.
