“So let’s talk sleeping arrangements. Who sleeps where?” Diane asked, directing the question to Mark as she had most of the others, like Mark was the only functional adult in the room. Like at the hospital, the social workers kept calling Mark the next of kin and kept minimizing Isaiah’s role, despite him producing the petition for guardianship, which they barely glanced at.
And wasn’t sleeping arrangements a dicey question. Mark had slept with him most of the past week. Which Isaiah had loved. But all he needed now was one of the kids to share that fact and Mark to adamantly deny it. He didn’t think the social workers would hold his sexual orientation against him, as he had plenty of friends in same-sex relationships raising kids, like Dylan. But lying or seeming like they were hiding something was sure to be frowned on.
“Mark’s down here.” He gestured at the back of the house before Mark could answer. “I’m in the guest room upstairs. Liam has the nursery, and the girls share a room.”
“Okay. Any girlfriends, boyfriends, other adults who come and go?” Diane took copious notes.
“Nope. Kids are our first priority.” And didn’t he need to remember that. The kids were everything, not whatever he and Mark had had going. Not when he couldn’t be sure that Mark valued it too.
“Yes, ma’am.” Mark echoed him, turning the military charm up to eleven and flashing his dimples. “That and work. I’m a SEAL instructor right now, and Isaiah’s got his own landscaping company.”
Was it possible that Mark sounded a little...proud? Isaiah had half expected him to share that detail with the sort exacerbated tone Dad would take. That was the real reason he hadn’t shared his business idea with Mark—he was worried he’d just see it as another Isaiah phase or more evidence that he was flighty and couldn’t stick with “real” jobs. But Mark was nudging him to share a business card, expression supportive. Isaiah handed one over, and the questions continued, covering childcare arrangements, discipline strategies, and even bedtime routines.
“Uncle Mark does the best voices,” Daphne shared. She’d been pretty quiet up until that point.
“I bet he does,” Diane gave her an encouraging smile. “Now, we’re going to mark the hospital’s concern closed, but it’s possible that when the court hears the guardianship petition that they’ll order a full formal home study at that point. The court investigator will be in touch about that, but there’s always the chance that the court investigator will refer the case back to us for further action. That happens sometimes.”
Isaiah did not like the sound of further action at all, but Mark was smiling and nodding and finally showing them to the door, so he tried to mimic his easy attitude. He hadn’t realized that the court could order a home study. He needed to get serious about making a post-Mark-selling-the-house plan. The court was going to want some specifics, which weren’t always his strong suit. Fuck. He’d gotten too comfortable with Mark and this arrangement.
“Well that’s over.” Mark shut the door and turned back to him. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Isaiah headed for the kitchen.
“Liar.” Mark stopped him with a hand on his arm. “I would never let them take the kids. Not without a fight. I was ready to get a lawyer here if things took an unpleasant turn.”
Unpleasant turn. Isaiah snorted. “Sometimes lawyers aren’t enough.”
“Ike. Talk to me. Did something happen when you were younger? Is that why you get so jittery around social workers?”
“Yeah.” Isaiah nodded. He’d never talked about this with anyone outside of the family before, and even there, it was one of those things his father never liked to refer to. “I broke my arm at school. Bad break. Needed surgery to set it. Dad was on one of his research trips, out in the Chilean Mountains, and he’d never done a formal guardianship with Aunt Cecily. She didn’t even have a letter from him explaining the situation. The hospital wouldn’t let her give permission to treat. Instead I ended up spending a week in foster care while she got an emergency message to my dad and got a lawyer. I hated it. I was so scared every night that I’d never get to go home again.”
“Oh, Ike.” Mark wrapped him up in a hug. “That must have sucked.”
“Yeah.” Isaiah still hadn’t entirely forgiven his father for not having his affairs better in order. He was not going to be that guy for the kids. He’d get his shit together. Make plans. Not rely so much on Mark. If he’d learned anything in his life, it was that the only person he could truly count on was himself.
Chapter Seventeen
“Who wants a story?” Mark was eager to get the bedtime show on the road because that meant he could talk more with Isaiah after the kids were asleep. And they did need to talk. It had been a hell of a day between the egg hunt debacle and the social worker.
“I can do bedtime.” Isaiah headed him off at the stairs. He’d been in this strange self-sufficient mood all evening, refusing help with dinner, giving Mark clipped answers when he’d asked if Isaiah needed him to distract the kids so he could work on his website. Now, he looked utterly wrung out—slumped shoulders, dark eyes, deep lines around his mouth.
“Nope.” Mark used the same voice he trotted out for recruits who wanted to argue with him about the need for medical attention. “You’re going to take a bath. A long one. You’ve had a crappy day. Let me do this.”
“But—”
“I doubt I make it back in time for bedtime much the next few days. Long shifts again. Use me while you got me.” He tried for a smile, but the one Isaiah gave him in return was seriously weak.
“At least let me do Liam—”
“Go.” Mark used his instructor voice again, which got a slow blink from Isaiah. And got him moving, eyes going from tired to something more heated. He’d noticed that Isaiah liked it when he got bossy in the bedroom. Which was kind of funny, because he was so take-charge and staunchly independent ordinarily, but it seemed to turn him on when Mark took over whatever they were doing in private.
And if bossiness got him listening to Mark when he tried to apologize again, well then, he wasn’t above using it there either.
Luckily, Liam was fairly sleepy thanks to his lost nap earlier in the day, and went down without much fuss. Mark rocked him while reading to the girls. Multitasking for the win.
“I like your voice for Goose best of all.” Daphne sighed as she cuddled into her blanket.
“Thanks.” Mark’s sinuses burned. Whatever it takes. I’m keeping this family together.
Finally, he crept from the room, gently depositing sleeping Liam in his crib. Now onto operation Make Isaiah Happy Again. Thinking fast, he grabbed two beers from the fridge and went to knock on the master bath’s door.
“Yeah?”
“Can I come in?” Mark stuck his head in. “I brought you a beer.”
“Okay.” Isaiah had used the light dimmers, giving the room a pale glow, augmented by the candles. He was submerged up to his neck in sudsy water, but he stretched out an arm for the drink. Some female singer Mark didn’t recognize was crooning out of the speakers.
He brought Isaiah the beer, crouching next to the tub. A month ago, hanging out like this, Isaiah naked in the tub, would have made him uncomfortable, but now it just felt...normal. Something they did. Intimate, but not awkward.
“I’m sorry.” He tried again, hoping he could do a better job this try. “For at the egg hunt. And also for the social workers. I didn’t mean to trivialize your worries there.”
“You didn’t.” Isaiah took a long sip of his beer. “But at the hunt...” He shook his head, damp curls bouncing.
“I could have handled it better,” Mark admitted.
“Do you want Mary Ellen to set you up with her sister?” Isaiah studied the mosaic tiles, not Mark’s face.
“What? God no.” A second, less palatable thought occurred to him. “Why? Did you want Blondie’s number?”
“Blondie huh?” Isaiah chuckled. “No, not even tempted. He was a kid. And, in case, you hadn’t noticed, I’m kind of busy with you.”
“And the kids,” Mark added automatically.
“No, with you. We’ve got something going here, or at least I thought we did. Was I wrong?” Isaiah said the last piece so softly that Mark had to strain to hear. “And maybe it doesn’t matter—”
“Of course it matters.” Reaching out, Mark patted his arm. “And yes. We do have something going. But it scares me, trying to figure out what it is.”
“You? Big bad SEAL medic scared?” Isaiah gave him a considering stare.
“I don’t know what to call us. Mary Ellen asked her question and I just froze,” Mark admitted. “I know you’re big on labels. Titles. But I’m still working out me. Be patient with me? Just a little?”
“Okay.” Isaiah nodded, but didn’t look particularly happy about it. “I just don’t want to be a dirty secret. Or some sort of afterthought in your life—”
“Ike. You are my life. You. The kids. You’re the thing keeping me sane as I deal with the mess of my life. I’m not sure what I’d do without you. I mean that.” Mark squeezed his hand. “I’m just here trying to make sense of everything that’s happened in the last month and half or so. Everything’s changed.”
“I know.” Isaiah squeezed his hand back. “It has been fast. And we’re both dealing with a lot of shit.”
“I don’t want to stop this.” Mark gestured between them. “Us. Whatever we’ve got going on. This is the best thing I’ve got right now.”
“Really?” Isaiah gave him a smile that seemed more genuine.
“Really.” Mark kissed his hand.
“It’s just... I know part of it is that I’m a guy, right? And people reading you as gay if we’re together. But Mark, is that really so terrible?”
Mark had to think for a long second. This wasn’t a simple answer. “No. Of course not. Tovey—Ben—is one of my best friends. I’ve got other out friends too. But...it’s just not...”
“It’s not what you expected for yourself?” Isaiah’s voice was gentle, but Mark could hear the hurt there too.
“Honestly, I expected to be alone. I tried dating. It didn’t work. I wasn’t going to keep trying something that made me miserable. I felt...broken. Like I was missing something that all other men had. Like I was on the outside of the best inside secret ever.”
“Aww. That sucks.” Isaiah’s face softened. “You’re not broken—you’re pretty amazing exactly as you are.”
“Thanks.” Mark could feel his skin heating. “I still worry that maybe...maybe I’m not cut out for a relationship.”
“Which is a shame because you’re such a romantic guy.” Isaiah laughed, then quickly added, “No sarcasm there. You are.”
“I guess.” Mark shrugged and took a sip of his beer. “I do like being...affectionate. A lot more than I thought I did, actually. And I like having someone around. But the process of getting there seemed so hard and uncertain before.”
“But if you don’t have to be alone, don’t you think you deserve that? With whatever gender?”
“You know, I really wish you’d skipped the psych classes,” Mark grumbled. “I get what you’re saying, but I keep thinking about how my dad would have hated me with another guy, how my uncle will pitch a shit fit, how he could hold up the will stuff, how it could affect my career, how the other guys see me... Yeah. I’m struggling.” He hated admitting that.
“Your uncle could keep your money from you?” Isaiah frowned.
“He could make it not easy. I’m entitled to certain things because of my parents, but he could certainly make it complicated.” And right now, Mark’s priority had to be the kids, not what his uncle would think of his personal life. But he couldn’t deny that there was a lot of money at stake too—and not just for him. He wasn’t sure he wanted to risk his uncle taking out his ire on the kids. And a small part of him, the part of his heart that still hadn’t recovered from the loss of his parents, also wasn’t looking forward to pissing off one of his last few relatives.
“Fuck.”
“It’s just a lot to think about.” Mark squeezed his hand again. “Would it help if I said I do want to get there for you? I’m working on my issues. I wish it were as easy as getting a rainbow flag T-shirt and being done with it, but my head is still a jumbled mess.”
“Well, I like you, mess and all. And the T-shirt better have a sparkly unicorn on it.” Isaiah grinned at him. “I didn’t know about the money part. I’ll work on my patience.”
The grim set to his jaw, however, said that patience wasn’t infinite, and Mark’s gut wobbled. He couldn’t lose this man. “I won’t make you wait forever,” he promised.
“Good. I better rinse off. You want to shower with me?” Isaiah offered. His eyes were wary, like he was expecting Mark to turn him down, but Mark nodded, not wanting to disappoint him yet again. He stripped off his clothes while Isaiah got out of the tub and headed for the large shower. Isaiah had the water blissfully steamy, and he groaned as he got under the spray.
Rinsing off the soap bubbles that clung to his skin, Isaiah turned this way and that. It was fun, watching him. “You’re cute.”
“So are you.” Isaiah grabbed the soap. “Can I wash you? Would that be okay? Not a s—”
“Ike. I’ll tell you when something’s not okay. I trust you.” Mark tugged him closer. He meant it. Isaiah had never once pressured him for more than Mark wanted to give, had always been respectful of Mark’s limits. Isaiah made him feel safer than anyone else ever had. More connected. “And sometimes, I like turning you on. I like making you happy. It can’t all be about me and what I need—if you’d enjoy washing me, go for it.”
“You do make me happy.” Isaiah gave him a soft kiss on the mouth. “And yeah, Muscles, I’d like touching you.”
To that end, Isaiah soaped him up slowly. Chest. Back. Arms. It was kind of like a massage and nice, almost relaxing.
“Feels good,” he groaned.
“Rinse,” Isaiah commanded.
“Thought I was supposed to be the one giving orders.” Mark gave him a pointed look as he stepped under the spray, washing away the soap.
“Oh, you got requests?” Isaiah’s eyes sparkled.
“Maybe.” Mark winked at him, then turned off the water. Thinking about how to best drive Isaiah nuts was fun. Tossing Isaiah a towel, he quickly dried himself. As Isaiah finished toweling off, Mark pulled him close. “Kiss me.”
“Oh yeah.” Letting the towel fall, Isaiah stretched, looping his arms around Mark’s neck. His kiss was cautious at first, but Mark could still sense the hunger there. It had been a day, and Isaiah really needed this to reconnect. Maybe they both did. Mark took over the kiss, getting aggressive with his nips and licks, exploiting his knowledge of what Isaiah liked with a new confidence. He liked being able to do this for his guy, loved the moans and gasps Isaiah made, loved the way he clung to Mark.
The height difference limited Mark’s ability to plunder Isaiah’s mouth as fully as he wanted, so Mark backed him against the counter. “Wrap your legs around me.” He made it an order, not a suggestion, just to see Isaiah shiver.
“Fuck yes.” Isaiah let him boost him up, let Mark shoulder his weight. And that was heady, the way Isaiah trusted him. He resumed the kiss, harder now, making Isaiah clutch at his shoulders. Their cocks were tightly pressed together, and Isaiah was rocking against him.
“That’s it. Let me hold you.” Surprisingly, Mark liked using his strength this way, loved taking over, knowing that he was responsible for Isaiah’s pleasure.
“Fuck.” Isaiah’s head fell back letting Mark attack his neck. His cock painted a wet stripe across Mark’s stomach, and he made desperate noises. Greedy for more noises like those, Mark fumbled for the bottle of lotion on the counter near t
he speakers. Getting his hand slick, he adjusted his stance so that he could get a grip on Isaiah’s dick. “Oh. Fuck. Fuck me. So good.”
Oh there was an idea, one maybe even better than the lotion if it got Isaiah off. “Is that what you want?” Mark growled in his ear. “Me to fuck you?”
Isaiah’s eyes popped open. “You don’t—”
“Nuh-uh. No more arguing. I know I don’t. But if you’re going to be all ‘whatever you want, Mark,’ what I want is to make you totally lose control. Come undone for me. I want to get you off so hard you see stars.”
“Hell, you keep talking like that and I’m not gonna last—”
“You’re going to wait. You’re going to come when I say.” Mark already knew that Isaiah could pretty much come on command, something he loved, and he planned to make the most of that knowledge.
“Oh fuck. I love it when you get like this.” Eyes glassy with pleasure, Isaiah rocked up into his grip. “Yeah. Whatever you want. I’m tested for everything and haven’t fucked since my last test. Totally good with rubbing though—”
“I. Want. To. Share. This.” Mark punctuated each word with nips at Isaiah’s jaw. “Want to try.”
Everything thus far with Isaiah had been so different from what he’d tried before that he really did want to see what this was like. And he meant it about sharing it—the more Isaiah let go with him, the more he let Mark take control, the closer Mark felt to him. And yeah, this wasn’t necessarily something Mark had given much thought to in the past, but the more he thought about the sounds Isaiah might make, how his face might look, his body got more into the idea.
Getting more lotion on his hand, he got his cock slick, then adjusted Isaiah so he could reach below his balls, tease him with slick fingers. And oh yes, Isaiah whimpered and rocked toward his fingers. If he was this eager, this was gonna be good. Mark chuckled. “Want something?”
“In me. Now.”
“Thought I was in charge?” Mark took his sweet time, getting him good and lubed up. Discomfort was not on his agenda, and besides it was awesome, the way Isaiah moaned with each touch, the way he went all pliant in Mark’s arms.
Squared Away Page 16
