by Marian Tee
Staffan jerked.
She quickly looked down, not wanting to see the look in Staffan’s eyes as she confessed the truth. “I gave her a check for a million dollars,” she admitted haltingly. “I wanted her to go – to never bother you again.”
Saffi’s head suddenly jerked up. “I won’t give you up to her. I know you hate my guts now – but Staffan, she doesn’t deserve you. You’re too good for her.” Saffi took deep gulps of air, trying to find a way to make it easier to breathe through the pain was choking her from the inside. “If you’re going to forgive – then forgive me instead. Forgive me and I promise I won’t ever hurt you again. I’ll always love you.” She looked at him with eyes that shamelessly begged. “Forgive me instead, Staffan.”
“That girl wants to love you to death. She wants to love you forever.”
“Tell me the truth.” The words felt like they had to be ripped out of him because it goddamn terrified him to do this again – to put his trust in Saffi when every instinct he possessed told him he was being stupid to even consider it.
“Tell me the truth and we’ll move on, we’ll never talk about it again.” He looked at her, not bothering to conceal how her betrayal had torn him to pieces, so much so that Staffan didn’t feel he could ever be complete again.
“We’ve only been married for just a few fucking days and you’re already tearing me apart. Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant? WHY?”
“I told you,” Saffi cried out. “It was because I was afraid you wouldn’t be happy---”
“That’s fucking bullshit and you know it!” Staffan roared. “How could you fucking think I wouldn’t be happy if we had a baby? I loved you, Saffi. I loved you so why the fuck wouldn’t I be happy to have another part of you that would always be mine?”
She sobbed so hard at his question that it drove Saffi to her knees. Oh, how easy Staffan made it sound! He had told her he loved her. He had made her feel like he loved her, but all these years she had learned to accept that no one outside her family could understand her – that no one would ever care to love her because she was too different.
How could she not think he wouldn’t be happy?
“I was young---”
“Stop with the fucking lies! Just because you’re young doesn’t make you stupid. You’re one of the goddamn smartest persons I know, Saffi!”
But she wasn’t smart where it counted. Saffi wasn’t smart at all because if she was, she would have trusted him, and then none of this would have happened.
“Why, Saffi, just tell me goddamn why…” Staffan sank to his knees in front of her, and the sight of him kneeling made Saffi want to cry endlessly.
Oh God, if only she had trusted him to love her and the baby!
“Why?” The sound of Staffan’s heart breaking with that one word was audible, and her heart splintered into pieces along with it.
Maybe, she thought dully, maybe…maybe some lies could have a good ending.
There was only one way out here, one way to have Staffan back in her life, and the price for it would have to be another lie.
“I’m sorry.” She forced herself to look at Staffan as she said tremulously, “I’m sorry I lied to you. I turned to Jeremy for comfort…it was just that one night. And I…I needed you so badly. So this baby could be his. But I promise if you take me back…I won’t ever lie to you again.”
She took his hand. “So please---” Her voice caught. “Please, please, please forgive me---”
Staffan hauled her to him, his lips covering hers. And as they kissed and tasted her tears in between, Saffi prayed that this time she was lying for all the right reasons – even if it didn’t feel like it.
Chapter Nine
I think I just saw Staffan Aehrenthal and his new wife in a cab and they were doing it hard.
Twitter: JessieBrient
“I can’t believe you ran halfway here.” Saffi was gawking at him.
“Don’t fucking bother to think about it,” he muttered. Still feeling her wide-eyed gaze at him, Staffan snarled, “I mean it. Don’t think about it.” The realization that he had been so uncool as to leave his car in the middle of the road – unlocked – just to run after his wife made Staffan shudder.
As they went past the revolving doors of March Enterprises, they came to an awkward stop.
“Do, uhh, you want to use one of Steel’s cars---” The cold look Staffan gave her made Saffi shut up.
Deciding it would take too long to have Bob drive over to fetch them, he said curtly, “Let’s just take a cab.” He didn’t wait for her answer. He nodded to one of the security men who was so obviously eavesdropping on their conversation and the younger man, now red-faced, quickly hailed one for them.
The first one that responded appeared more than a little old, with a broken fender and windows rolled down because – as the cab driver explained with a strong Creole accent – the air-conditioning unit was broken. He was also half deaf and looked over sixty. It was possible that he wasn’t even licensed and was moonlighting in a borrowed cab.
At this moment, though, Staffan didn’t give a fuck. All he wanted was to get Saffi home and have a chance for them to lose themselves in each other’s bodies.
Saffi gave him a dubious glance. “We could just wait…?”
He ushered her inside. He was done fucking waiting. He just wanted to take her in his arms and pretend the whole world didn’t exist. Whoever fucking said that it didn’t pay to be blind didn’t fucking know anything.
Saffi had to repeat their address thrice before the cab driver finally nodded and started driving. She settled back into her seat, with Staffan at the other end leaving a huge gap between them. She did her best not to fidget but it was hard. She couldn’t help remembering the look of cold disapproval on Steel’s face.
But she knew it wasn’t because he was furious. Steel was afraid for her, and she couldn’t blame him. But this was a risk Saffi had no choice but to take. It was the only way to have Staffan back and maybe, just maybe she would also soon have the chance to show Staffan that she had only ever loved him.
But whatever she had to do to make Staffan believe her, it would have to be done without words. Staffan had been adamant about it, harshly so. We won’t talk about it again, Saffi. We’ll wait until after the child comes out and we’ll decide then. But before that – we’ll just concentrate on you and me and finding our way back to each other.
Thinking hard of a way to start making Staffan trust in her again, she blurted out, “Let’s go away.” She was gazing fixedly at the scenery outside the cab. They were going too fast for the people outside to recognize her face or Staffan’s, but she was pretty sure a huge mob of fans would result if people figured out that Staffan Aehrenthal was now within their “reach”.
Staffan reached for her hand, and the touch made her shiver. She turned to him as he asked, “What about your classes?”
“I’ll take a leave of absence.” She couldn’t help rubbing her thumb over his knuckles, the way he liked to do with her. She needed this touch, needed like it was the only way to make her heart beat.
“But your grades---”
Saffi made a face. “I’m a nerd, remember? Not attending classes for a week won’t hurt my GPA.”
Slowly, Staffan found himself nodding. Yes, it did sound good. Perhaps time away from everything that was too familiar would help them recover. “What place do you have in mind?” He waited for Saffi to suggest something terribly romantic or perhaps a place where she could do more fangirling stuff, but her answer stunned him.
“Let’s go to New York.”
His eyebrow shot up. “What are you going to do there?” It was not exactly a place friendly to people like Saffi. She was too nice, too cheerful, too optimistic for the normally jaded New York crowd.
“I know,” she said guiltily, avoiding his eyes all of a sudden, “You had to postpone your meetings with the production companies who might be partnering with you for the 3D coverage of your tour
.”
“How did you know that?” Staffan was incredulous. Not even his parents had known about it until he had told them personally, hence the early Thanksgiving mass.
His tone made her smile. “Duh? Because I’m a fang---” Saffi’s voice trailed off.
Staffan said roughly, “You still are, Saffi. You’ll always only be my fangirl, won’t you, baby?”
Her head shot up at his words, her eyes filling up with tears. “I thought---” She choked back a sob. “I thought I would never hear you say that again…”
Why was it so damn easy for her to say things like that? Was it because they were still lies? Was it because she loved him that much? The way she looked at him was enough to have Staffan undone and he hauled her into his lap. “Always my fangirl, the only fangirl who’s just mine,” he whispered to her ears, knowing she would love them.
And she did. Saffi cried, cherishing the words, knowing how much Staffan was also risking for them to have another chance. She wanted to say something back, to make him realize just how much she was also willing to sacrifice for them, but then she felt it. Her eyes widened and she froze.
Her eyes met with those of the driver’s through the rearview mirror. Seeing her tense expression, he asked, “Something wrong?”
“Aaah…” Staffan had freed his dick from his pants and was now slipping his hand under her skirt. She managed a smile. “I’m okay.”
“What?”
“I…” She tried to swat Staffan’s hand away while keeping her gaze on the now-suspicious driver but Staffan only chuckled softly behind her as he easily eluded her grasp. Staffan pushed her panties to one side, and Saffi bit back a moan.
“Miss? You okay?”
She made herself open her eyes. “I’m---” Ah, shit, shit – she was so wet, making it wonderfully easy for Staffan to slip his dick into her wetness. Behind her, Staffan stiffened then let out a low, desire-filled groan.
Saffi cleared her throat. “OKAY.” She nearly shouted the word out, needing the driver to pay more attention to his driving and pay less attention to her.
The driver’s face cleared. “Okay.” His gaze left hers.
She collapsed against Staffan, not realizing that this would only make his dick dig deeper into her. Saffi swallowed back a whimper.
“You feel so fucking great,” Staffan whispered in her ear.
“This is so wrong,” she whispered back even as she could feel her hips moving on its own accord, meeting Staffan’s leisurely thrusts. Every cell inside Saffi was clamoring for more contact. She wanted his hands on her breasts, his mouth on her nipples, his fingers on her clit – she wanted more than the cock that was inside her now.
“Want more, don’t you?” he asked silkily.
She started to shake her head but then stopped herself. No more lies. She had promised that to both of them. Not bothering to conceal how much she needed him this time, she said in Swedish, “Yes. I want you so much it hurts. I think if I close my eyes, I’m going to come because I’m going to imagine you’re thrusting into me so hard, so fast---”
Saffi let out a little scream as Staffan surged forward, his cock surging up with him.
The driver’s gaze sought hers in the rearview mirror. “What happened?”
Staffan fumbled for his wallet, pulled out a hundred-dollar bill and nearly shoved it at the man’s face. “Take us to…Disneyland.” It was the first fucking thing that came to his mind. All he wanted was more time to fuck Saffi.”
The driver’s eyes nearly bulged. “Disneyland? At this time of the night?”
“Get us there as fast of you can,” Staffan growled, “and I’ll give you another hundred.”
The driver didn’t bother answering. As the car shot past the other vehicles, wriggling in and out of lanes, overtaking and cutting others, Staffan took advantage of every bump, using it to drive himself into Saffi harder.
Keeping one arm around her waist, he gritted out, also in Swedish, “Hold on to something.”
She gripped the edge of the door, feeling the top line of the window under her fingers.
Now that she was balanced on his lap, Staffan used his other hand to slip under her skirt and pull her panties just low enough for him to rip it off in one quick yank. Before Saffi could gasp, his hand was tracing its way back up, shaping her legs ever so softly and slowly, before trailing towards her sex.
Her head arched back as a silent moan slipped past her lips the moment his fingers found her clit. And then he was playing with her and fucking her at the same time, the rough movements of the car only allowing Staffan to drive into her more deeply.
Her fingers tightened around the handle as Staffan started pulling on her clit, teasing and tormenting her by slowing down his thrusts at the same time.
“Please!” The gasp escaped her.
The driver’s gaze went back to Saffi. “What?”
“NOTHING!” She yelled it out because Staffan had just pinched her clit hard between his fingers. When the driver looked away again, she choked out, “I’m coming.”
He bit Saffi’s shoulder. “Do you want to come now, Saffi?”
“Yes.”
“Then let’s come together.” Biting her shoulder, he pumped his hips up and down with all the speed he could manage in the confined restraints of the car. Soon, he started to feel Saffi’s body shuddering, and knew she was just one step away from her orgasm. He was near himself, and craving the same release just as desperately, Staffan lifted her hips all the way up until only the head of his dick was inside before pulling her back down as hard as he could, grinding his dick into her warmth.
Their orgasm hit them almost at the same time, and Staffan gritted, “Kiss me!”
With a choked sob, Saffi turned her head so their lips could meet. She used the kiss to drown her cries of pleasure as the orgasm took over her body completely. As wave upon wave of pleasure battered her body, the force of it centered at the triangle between her legs, she dug her nails deep into his legs, wishing she could keep him inside her forever.
Staffan continued surging in and out of Saffi as his dick shot its cum into her wet warmth. He could never get enough of this. Never. He had tried to get Saffi out of his system but it was fucking impossible. He wanted her, needed her – he loved her too fucking much to survive without this.
Saffi slowly returned to consciousness when she felt Staffan gently lifting her up so he could zip himself back in. She curled in his lap when he was done. She smiled at him sleepily. “Staffan, lo---”
The look of recoil on Staffan’s face brought her back to consciousness – and reality.
She swallowed back the rest of what she had to say.
They wouldn’t ever talk about it again.
Chapter Ten
Sapphire March-Aehrenthal checked in at the Aehrenthal Hotel, New York.
Foursquare: AehrenthalsGirl
New York hated her.
Staffan laughed at her grumbling revelation. Pulling her close to his side, he murmured soothingly, “Of course they don’t, koukla mou. You just have to give them time to get used to you.” They were walking towards the newly built finance center around the corner, where Staffan’s meeting with the interested producers was going to be held.
Saffi loved how all the locals took it in stride that Staffan Aehrenthal was walking next to them on the streets, looking – as always – like a god with the most impeccable taste in clothes. Only Staffan could get away with wearing a dark red blazer and matching pants and not look like he wanted to be the next poster model for LBGT rights.
She stole a look at him, and Staffan immediately caught her doing it. He smirked. “Yes, I know. I’m too handsome for words.”
Saffi didn’t bother denying it, saying with a sigh, “You are.”
“Hey…” He pulled her closer even as he tipped her chin up. “What’s the matter?”
She shrugged. “Maybe I’m a little homesick.”
His eyebrows shot up. “We just got here! And thi
s is just NYC – you didn’t get homesick when we were in Stockholm!”
She sighed again. “I don’t know…maybe it’s really just because I feel so out of place here. Everyone’s just too busy being busy, cynical, calculating – I mean, where’s the love?”
Staffan choked at Saffi’s last words. “Where’s the love?” he echoed. “You’re really wondering about that?”
Saffi sighed. “Don’t mind me. I think these are just the hormones talking.” She stopped right after, her sickened gaze immediately searching Staffan’s. Would he be mad if she accidentally said something about her pregnancy or the baby?
Staffan was frowning. “That could probably be it. I’ve heard of women going crazy and doing crazier shit when they’re pregnant.” As they rounded the corner, his tone became serious as he said, “Look, I can’t be with you all the time today. You understand that, right?”
“Umm, yes?” She wondered where this was going.
Staffan opened the door for her as they went inside the building where his meeting was scheduled. It was twenty stories tall, with a dozen offices located on each floor. Most of the companies here had something to do with the film industry, and Saffi’s interest was immediately drawn in by the different modes of dress the other guests were in.
Seeing her curious look, he told her, “They went to their auditions in costume. It lets them stay in character and helps the casting crew to visualize them.”
Staffan was suddenly blocking her view. “What?” she asked.
“You’re not listening to me, are you? New York isn’t like your town in Florida, okay? People who are friendly here don’t always have good intentions.”
“But Staffan---”
He shook his head. “You stand out in this city, Saffi. One look at you and every serial killer will come out of their hiding places to try to take you. You’ve got prey and victim written all over you---”
“I do not!”
As they stepped inside the elevator, Staffan continued, “You can’t keep smiling---”
