by Deb Kastner
Cole frowned, clearly not any more enthused by Alexis’s directions than Tessa was. Her stomach churned.
What was this about? There was more going on here than was immediately evident. Alexis wasn’t making any sense patterning them this way. They’d never before used two adults following up at the back of the long parade of horses. In any other ride, she or Cole would be joining Marcus riding up and down the line.
It would make more sense to keep Cole and Tessa as far away from each other as possible. Like on different planets, perhaps.
Why was Alexis making things complicated? Surely she had to know how awkward they would feel.
Or maybe that was the whole point—intentionally pushing them together so they would be forced to get over whatever uneasiness lurked between them. They could hardly avoid each other forever.
She sighed and drew Little Bit to a halt while the rest of the group forged ahead. Maybe Alexis was right—assuming Tessa was correctly interpreting her motive. Maybe this trail ride was just what she and Cole needed to acknowledge the rift between them and, if not repair it, at least agree to let it be for the sake of their ministry.
She straightened her spine and lowered her heels, signaling to Little Bit that it was time for action—both for her and for her horse.
Cole wore his dark brown Stetson low over his forehead, but that didn’t prevent her from seeing the scowl that furrowed his brow as he reined in beside her. His expression was as dark and sullen as she’d ever seen it. It was obvious he was struggling to get over his emotional hurdles. He just handled it differently than she did—with anger, apparently, or at least frustration.
He didn’t used to be that way. He’d been a carefree young man who wore a smile on his face, a glint in his eyes and his heart on his sleeve.
They rode in silence for the first couple of miles, keeping to their own thoughts. Tessa pressed her despondency to the back of her mind and focused on relaxing her muscles, knowing Little Bit responded to whatever stress she was feeling.
With some difficulty, she shifted her concentration to the young people under her care. She knew better than to let her mind wander, especially on the first trail ride of the Mission Month, where an incident could emerge quite suddenly and require an immediate response. The horses were trustworthy even under duress. It was the teenagers she was worried about. At least one of the kids was likely to push the boundaries, and it was up to her and the other adults on the trail with them to catch the behavior early before someone got hurt.
Concentrate.
She was trying. Really she was. But Cole’s very presence was an antagonist she couldn’t ignore. What was the saying about acknowledging the elephant in the room? Or in this case, the one who was lumbering about on the large stretch of Texas ranch land, trumpeting its horn with loud abandon.
She chuckled at the mental picture her thought had created. Cole glanced her direction, arching his brows.
“What?” he asked, his voice low, coarse and cautious.
“It’s nothing.” She attempted to force a smile but missed the mark. It felt more like a grimace. “I was just thinking about something that struck me as humorous. Private joke.”
Cole didn’t press her and she didn’t elaborate, but now that the ice had potentially broken between them, she saw the opportunity to fracture the unsettling silence in which they’d been riding. If they could maybe just speak to each other, carry on a normal conversation—even if it was as mere acquaintances or fellow employees—at least that would be something. Anything to get them moving in the right direction.
The only problem was, she couldn’t think of anything to say, and Cole certainly wasn’t attempting to contribute to the conversation. The silence stretched as tight as a high wire between them.
“Grayson is a real cutie-pie.” Surely speaking about his son would be treading on safe ground. Everyone liked to talk about their children, right?
“Mmm-hmm.” Not exactly the answer she’d hoped for. Actual English words would have been preferable. Elaborating beyond a mutter would have been nice.
“What is he now—eight weeks old?”
“Seven.”
One word. In English. Progress.
“And I think you mentioned your father is watching him during your working hours here at the ranch?”
He nodded. Checkers surged forward suddenly, and Cole expertly reined him in. The horse shifted sideways toward Little Bit’s flank. Tessa reacted instinctively and held her mount steady. Cole’s Appaloosa’s temperament had always been fiery and skittish. Apparently some things didn’t change over time.
“I’m sure that’s quite an adjustment for all of you. I think it’s great that your dad wants to be so involved with the baby. Is Grayson sleeping through the night already? He seems so calm and sweet.”
“Yeah, when you are holding him,” Cole said drily and with more than a little punch. “Some evenings he goes right to sleep, but on others he’s colicky and won’t settle down. I’ve spent many evenings walking the hall for hours with the poor little guy, bouncing him and rocking and patting his back until his tummy feels better. You wouldn’t believe the lungs on the kid. He could easily huff and puff and blow our house down.”
“And it’s all on you to care for him?”
Cole pressed his lips and jerked his chin affirmatively. “I try to give my dad the nights off, since he watches Grayson all day.”
“You work all day, as well. That’s a lot of responsibility on your shoulders. I don’t know how you do it.” She hesitated, wanting to ask the question that had been bothering her since she’d first discovered Cole was a single father. Now appeared to be the perfect opportunity, or at least as good as she was going to get. She understood that if a single woman got pregnant, she might sometimes be left to raise her baby on her own, but how did a single father end up in that position?
“If you don’t mind my asking, where’s Grayson’s mother?”
Cole raised a brow. “Honestly? I don’t know, and frankly, it doesn’t matter much to me anymore. I’ve got full custody of Grayson, so I have no interaction with her. My lawyer will stay updated on her location in case I ever need medical information or anything on Grayson’s behalf, but otherwise we have no contact whatsoever.” He paused and frowned. “That wasn’t my call to make. It’s the way she wants it. From the very beginning, she never wanted anything to do with Grayson.”
Tessa detected an edge of anger to his voice, and no wonder. Even back in high school, Cole had grand ideals of marriage and family. A mother who didn’t want her baby? Tessa couldn’t even imagine such a thing.
“She doesn’t want to see her son at all? Ever?” She tried to keep the astonishment out of her voice but knew she failed. She didn’t want to sound as if she was judging—even if privately she had to admit that she was.
“No. Nora—Grayson’s biological mother—considered him a mistake. A burden she wanted nothing to do with. From the moment she learned she was pregnant with Grayson, she had every intention of giving him away for adoption. Or worse. I don’t even like to think about what might have happened had I not stepped in. Thankfully, I found out she was pregnant with my child before she could make those kinds of decisions, and I talked her out of it. It wasn’t easy. I’ve never fought for anything so hard in my life, and Nora isn’t a big fan of mine right now. Probably won’t ever be.” He scoffed. “Grayson and I apparently got in the way of her fun. I hate that my son will grow up without his mother, but I think he’s better off. I had a lawyer draw up papers and took custody of my son the moment he was born.”
Bewilderment blanketed Tessa like a thick fog. On one hand, the idea that Cole had stepped up and taken responsibility as a father was beyond impressive, especially when the mother didn’t want any custody rights at all. Tessa couldn’t imagine too many men who would do such a thing, and it spok
e to Cole’s character that he didn’t walk away from his obligation to his child when it would have been so simple to do. But not Cole. He was a sailor and a cowboy, and even before he’d joined the military, honor and duty were written in his heart. Of course he would never abandon his own flesh and blood.
This was also why the story confused her. Clearly there was no love lost between Cole and the baby’s mother, and yet there had to have been a certain level of intimacy for Grayson to have been conceived in the first place. Cole wasn’t the type of man to have a meaningless fling—or at least, he hadn’t been. She realized just how little she knew about him now.
“That was very—” She hesitated as she searched for the right word. Gutsy? Loving? Strong? Amazing? “Courageous of you.”
He blew out a breath and shook his head. “What it was, was stupid.”
Her gaze swept over his face, taking in the deep lines stress had left in its wake. He shook his head, and his shoulders and arms tightened, his biceps twitching with strain.
Was he talking about the circumstances that had led to Grayson’s birth? Surely he didn’t regret taking custody of his son?
“Well, I think you’ve done a very loving thing.” Though they’d parted on bad terms, Tessa knew Cole’s capacity for caring about someone, and she knew beyond a doubt that he would give Grayson every bit of his heart. “God will bless you for your sacrifice.”
Cole shook his head “That’s what Alexis said, and you both couldn’t be more wrong. It’s not a sacrifice. It just is. I don’t walk away from my mistakes, or my obligations.”
“No, I know you don’t. That’s not what I meant.”
“That came out wrong. Grayson isn’t a mistake. I never knew I could love a human being as much as I do that baby boy. It’s just that I hate the...” His sentence skidded to a halt, and his jaw tightened.
The way it happened?
Cole had always fostered a deep faith in God in his heart. Whatever else had changed in his life, Tessa couldn’t imagine his faith would have faltered. But he wouldn’t be the first man—or woman, for that matter—to find himself succumbing to temptation. The only difference here was how Cole had responded once he found out his actions had had permanent repercussions. Her heart expanded at the thought.
Tessa looked away from Cole just long enough to glance up the line. One of the boys, Matt, had turned backward in the saddle and was making all kinds of ridiculous noises. Screeching, yelling, whooping and hollering it up—exactly the kind of thing that would send most horses bolting.
Crazy kid was trying to get the girls’ attention, no doubt. Not thinking about what would happen if his horse decided to take off from underneath him. He’d land on his merry little bum, and then they would see who would be smiling and laughing. She didn’t know whether to chuckle or shake her head. It was starting. The challenge of Mission Month was about to explode into full gear.
She searched for Marcus and found him up near the front of the line, enjoying Sissy’s easy gait as he conversed with Alexis. It figured. He didn’t spare a backward glance behind him, and he wasn’t paying any attention to what was going on down the line. Probably figured she and Cole would pick up the slack—which, apparently, they were going to have to do.
“Hey!” she shouted to Matt, kicking Little Bit into a brisk trot. Normally she’d keep her own voice down, but in this instance, she wanted to make sure she was heard over the boy’s earsplitting antics. “What do you think you’re doing? Your horse is going to take off from underneath you. This isn’t a carousel. Stop clowning around and turn back in your seat where you belong.”
Matt merely laughed at her suggestion—at least until his eyes met hers and he realized, probably from the scowl on her face, that she meant what she said. He griped loudly in protest but reluctantly turned forward in the saddle and stopped his screeching. Hotshot kids didn’t think before they acted. It was a good thing for him the horses were all well vetted or he would have been in a world of hurt. Literally.
From her very first experience on a Mission Month, Tessa had learned that the young people would press their luck to see how much they could get away with, especially early on. Many of them were well-to-do and used to getting their own way. Fortunately, it usually didn’t take long for them to realize Alexis and her team weren’t kidding around. They were strong enough to deal with both foolishness and stubbornness and, ideally, to redirect the teenagers into more productive emotional expressions.
There was plenty of affection and kindness to go around, pouring from all who came into contact with the kids, but sometimes the tough had to be woven through the youths’ lives before the sweet side of the love could truly be threaded in.
Today, Matt would be learning a hard lesson, starting with Tessa’s scolding in front of his peers and ending with a very large stack of potatoes to peel when everyone else got time off.
“See me when we’re finished with the trail ride. You’ve just earned yourself KP duty, mister, while your friends are going to be out enjoying the evening. They’ll be playing games while you’re chopping vegetables.”
“Playing games? Like a bunch of little kids?” Matt gave her a silly smile that she imagined sent many females in his own age range into the clouds.
How annoying. Why did guys always think they could get away with things with a wink and a smile?
“Oh, come on, give me a break,” he pleaded.
She wanted to roll her eyes, but instead she narrowed her gaze on him. “You want to push me and make it a week?”
Matt started to say something else and then seemed to think better of it. He shook his head and slumped in the saddle.
“Sit up straight or Ginger here won’t know you’re in charge.”
This time he wisely did as he was told—without giving her any guff about it.
Better. She smiled, satisfied with today’s progress. They’d get where they needed to go with Matt. She was sure of it.
One kid down, eleven to go.
Marcus turned Sissy around and trotted toward her, examining the line of teenagers and horses as he went. Now he came to help? She snorted. Better late than never.
“We’re all good back here?” he asked, flashing a smile that was curiously similar to Matt’s earlier attempt at getting his way. And just about as effective.
“No thanks to you.”
“So you had to play the old battle-ax, huh?”
“Ha! Keep talking to me that way and you’ll find yourself on the sharp edge of a battle-ax, you jerk.”
“Tessa,” Cole called from behind her, his voice laced with raw concern. “One of the girls just took off in another direction. Should I bring her back in line?”
Tessa glanced over her shoulder. One of the teenagers, Briana, was, indeed, heading down a different trail, but it was immediately apparent to Tessa that it was the horse doing the leading and not the other way around. Unlike Matt, who’d made all kinds of noise, Briana’s jaw was dropped in a silent scream. Her enormous eyes sparked with terror. She hoped Cole recognized the teenager’s lack of control as well, and didn’t try to mimic the kind of counseling she’d just given Matt. The last thing a panic-ridden, inexperienced rider needed would be anything that resembled the chewing out she’d just given Matt.
Fortunately, Cole had paired Briana up with Zephyr, who was one of the gentlest and most trustworthy horses in the stable. Just as his namesake indicated, he was a breeze to ride. He wasn’t easily spooked and was well adapted to green riders. On the other hand, Briana must have somehow accidentally guided him the wrong direction. He and Briana were headed down an intermediate trail with a rather large embankment not more than twenty feet in front of them. It was a good obstacle for later on in the Mission Month when the teens were used to riding, but right now Tessa could think of nothing worse.
“Hurry, Cole. There’s
a—” she started, but it was already too late. Zephyr had nearly reached the two feet high edge. Poor Briana was clinging to the saddle horn like a lifeline, the horse’s reins forgotten and dropped well over his neck.
Cole leaned forward and kicked his horse into a canter, but Zephyr reached the embankment before Cole did. Tentatively the horse stepped forward, his front feet reaching the landing below while his back hooves remained at the top of the rise.
And then Zephyr stopped.
Just...stopped.
Two hooves down and two hooves up, his flanks in the air and his long tail twitching back and forth.
Instead of clearing the embankment as Tessa expected him to do, Zephyr dropped his head and started grazing on the nearby grass, just as calm as you pleased. He didn’t appear to notice the awkward position he was in—never mind that he still had a rider on his back. He seemed completely oblivious to the fact that a terrified human being still clung to his saddle.
Thankfully, Cole reached Briana’s side. Tessa couldn’t tell whether Cole’s low tones were for Briana or for Zephyr as he reached for the horse’s head and guided him the rest of the way down the step, but she breathed a sigh of relief when the horse was once again on flat, solid ground.
Crisis averted, thank the good Lord. Cole removed his Stetson, wiped his brow with the sleeve of his shirt and did the one thing Tessa never imagined he would do.
He laughed.
* * *
Cole had never seen anything like this horse’s crazy antics in all his life, and he’d seen many things over the years. Whatever had possessed Zephyr to stop the way he had? Crazy equine.
He’d immediately recognized that the girl thought she was in distress, but it hadn’t taken much to fix the problem. Clearly she was a new rider. Good for her for staying in the saddle. Thankfully he’d been able to guide the horse forward until Zephyr put his hind feet in league with his front ones. Now all Cole had to do was lead the errant horse and rider back to the rest of the group.
