She nodded, realizing she had felt his excitement within her, as if a tugboat pulling on the ropes of her soul. While she had not wanted to be turned on and had rather wanted Bill's concurrence that such a fantasy was wrong, she had instead felt the aches of passion stirring in her. But was it just because my husband was excited? And it excited me? "Yes…he was."
Her friend's hands moved and her smile widened.
Beth had no willpower to stop her, as if admitting her husband was excited had sapped her determination. Fingers brushed her panties and she relaxed her legs.
"That sounds like a lot of fun." Fingers snaked under her panties and began massaging.
Beth closed her eyes at the unwanted but welcome intrusion, breathing through her mouth. It felt good and wrong, and right and bad.
Lynne whispered, "I played with Roger last night, made him think of you." Her fingers pushed in deep. "He was so hard."
Beth gasped, her pussy clamping on Lynne's fingers at the mention of the event.
"I think you'd love his cock." Fingers shoved slowly in and out. "Would you like to feel it in here?"
Beth trembled, fighting the surge of sensuality inside her. Am I fighting the image, or her fingers? Her mouth was open and her eyes squeezed shut. She rolled her head to the side, her thighs tense while her pussy got worked by her friend's fingers. I can't be a lesbian, so it must be the thought of Roger's cock—
A tidal wave of tension rose so suddenly she felt as if tossed upwards to dizzying heights. She gasped in quickly, trying to catch a breath that wouldn't come. Trembles of tension tightened with a speed that had her holding her breath – eyes squeezed tightly shut.
Lynne's fingers worked faster, plunging into Beth's pussy. "Yes, you'd like to feel his cock, wouldn't you? You want to fuck him…"
Beth tensed more, twisting up out of her chair as the swell of passion lifted her higher. Then she was dropped, tumbling down fast. She let out a strangled cry, feeling the grip of her pussy clamping on her friend's fingers. A flood of relief swept her over, then tossed her back up. She stuffed her knuckles into her mouth and whimpered as her body shook with orgasm.
~ ~ ~
Beth stayed away from the Coffee Kitchen for two days before she got a call from Lynne. She begged off visiting telling her friend that she needed to think.
And she did.
What is going on with me? Why has my life went from comfortable to confusing? She looked over the new applications: over-educated; over-qualified; applying for half the pay they had received before…
Beth shook her head. So much in life wasn't making any sense. The politics blogs she read all claimed the unemployed were primarily uneducated white males. Yet each of the seven applications before her had been filled out by those unemployed white males and not a single one was uneducated.
My work doesn't fit the common sense and neither does my home-life. She flicked through the papers, trying to decide which was the least educated and qualified. No point in embarrassing the better ones with our pay.
"Well?" Scary Gary's eyes were on her as he leaned in the door. He liked to walk around, checking out the women.
She rubbed her fingertips fast, reflexively, as if trying to brush away something dirty on them. "They're all extremely over-qualified."
"Who cares?" His voice was airy and heavy at the same time, as if there couldn't possibly be any difficulty in choosing between Doritos or Cheetos.
"It would be shameful for any of them to accept our pay—"
"Who cares? Just pick one. They'll be glad to have a job." He lifted his upper lip in a quick gesture of indifference. Then he was gone.
Beth sighed. He's probably right. Can it really be that simple? Can life offer up challenges that seem insurmountable but are really simple to solve? She selected the application of one Robert Thomas: he had been out of work the longest. She lifted her phone, hoping her selection was the right one.
"Hello?"
Beth took a breath. This won't be hard. He either takes it or not. "Hi, Robert?"
"Yes?"
"This is Beth Crawley, Personnel Manager for Data-Tek?
A catch in the voice was followed by caution. "Yes?"
"I've looked over your application and you're quite a bit over-qualified—"
A loud breath of frustration from the other end. The resignation in the voice was heavy. "I know."
"But we'd like to hire you on."
She heard him breathe on the other end.
She said, "Could you come in tomorrow? For an orientation and some further paperwork?"
The breathing came faster. His words were a rush of stunned hope. "Tomorrow?"
Beth thought he was going to cry.
~ ~ ~
The weekend gave Beth some time to relax. She had avoided the Coffee Kitchen all week. Disturbed by the development of events between her and her friend, she had stayed away and secured her libido against Lynne's lesbian leanings.
That's what they are, aren't they? She laid her head back on the lounge in the backyard. It was still chilly, not fully into spring yet, but warm enough to be outside in the fresh air.
She held a magazine that she wasn't even pretending to read. Her thoughts drifted to Robert, their new employee. Enthusiastic and sharp, he had dived gracefully into his job with an ease that made her feel happy to have selected him. Keeping the servers up and running and resolving hosting problems was beneath him, but he handled it all together with the other employees with a slickness that made even Scary Gary smile.
Giving him the job had felt so shameful, but he's so happy. If he cares about the pay cut, he certainly isn't showing it. She remembered him trembling with eagerness at the orientation – her surprise had turned to pleasure. Having given him something she didn't think he'd want, she felt as if her job had notched a success – a personal one. A professional one. And one in her soul.
She wanted to call her friend and share the interesting bit of news, but thoughts of her last visit intruded. Am I a lesbian because I came on her fingers? How could I have allowed such a dirty thing to happen? But, no, I can't be a lesbian. I must have cum because she was talking about Roger…
That didn't make her feel better.
~ ~ ~
Bill glowered at her. He did not turn out the light. "What's eating you?"
Beth gave him an innocent look. "Hmm? Nothing." In other words, I have a lot to think about and you wouldn't understand. Besides, I wouldn't know where to start.
He squinted one eye down. "Don't give me your bullshit."
She sighed. Do we know each other so well I can't keep a secret from him? Am I that easy to read? She felt a warm tug at their bond at the thought. "Just been thinking a lot."
He nodded as if the excuse bored him. "Yeah, yeah, obviously. What about?"
Oh gosh, do I have to really tell you everything? "It's sort of private."
He looked slowly at her as if she had just said Mars was one huge pink alien mothership with drooling lizard-aliens on it waiting to invade Earth and impregnate the men.
She said defensively, "What?"
"Private?"
"Well—"
"I'm your husband."
You don't have to be right all the time, you know. Fuck. She slumped.
"Well?"
Beth lifted a hand as if to protest and let it fall in defeat. "It's about Lynne."
That gave him a look of confusion that produced in Beth a sadistic surge of satisfaction. He said, "Lynne? What about? Her husband's fantasy thing?"
Feeling bolder now that she had stumped her husband, she said, "Not exactly…"
"Tell me."
Is it as simple as that? What if he disapproves? What if he gets mad? What if he wants a divorce? "If I tell you, will you promise not to get mad?"
He made a raspberry with his lips and rolled his eyes.
Dammit, I love him. Does he have to make me wonder why I worry so much? "You promise?"
He rolled his eyes some more and
bounced his head around as he did it. "Yeah, I promise. What did you do, screw someone behind my back?"
Horror tore through her. "No, of course not."
His nod was quick and direct. "Then I can't be mad. Spill."
It was that simple for her husband. His boundary was a secure line that did not waver with what ifs. She felt a little better, but embarrassed. "Well…you know how we were talking at her store?"
He urged her with a nod.
She pursed her lips. "Well…"
"Quit saying 'well' and just spit it out."
She twisted her mouth and gave him an evil eye. She took a breath and let it out. "While we were talking about your fantasy and this Roger-thing—"
"Roger-thing?" He shook his head. "Roger-thing? He has a fantasy, too. It's not a thing like it's something disgusting. It's not a tumor. He has a fantasy about you and there's nothing disgusting about it or you."
Had I been thinking that? No, I'm not disgusting. But isn't his fantasy? Or not? "But—"
"It's his fantasy, and I think it's a good one. If I were him, I'd be fantasizing about you, too. Just because you didn't think of him that way doesn't make him sick or something. Not like if his fantasy had been about me—"
Beth clapped a hand to her mouth. But that's so close to the truth… Yet, her husband was right: she had no reason to try to belittle someone's fantasy.
Bill must have seen something in her expression. "Or was it? Tell me."
"No…I…"
"Go on."
There was no way around him. Not tonight. Not here. "When we were talking about those things, Lynne was massaging me."
He stared blankly. "Yeah? So?"
"Well—"
His sharp look stopped her.
"Sorry. The…massaging got a little more involved."
His expression turned more serious and considering. "All right, go on."
She replied, slow at first, then in a rush to get it over with. "We were talking about your fantasy… How you wanted something…and that we should talk about it. But as we talked, she went from massaging my shoulders to touching me."
"Touching you?"
She knew he knew what she meant, but he was asking for clarification. Beth nodded. "Very…um, intimately."
His eyebrows rose. His words were slow. "I didn't know you had thoughts like that—"
Still in a rush, she said, "No, I don't."
He gave a short nod to placate her. "All right, all right, don't get excited."
"Does that make me a lesbian?"
He laughed and the bed shook.
What a jerk, I'm being serious.
He said, "Did you lick her pussy?"
Shock flopped her mouth open in a gasp. "Bill!"
"Did you?"
"Of course not."
"So you're not a lesbian."
Too simple; you're not getting it. "But I came…when she did it."
"You came when she licked your pussy?" He sounded confused and curious.
Beth thought her eyes were going to pop out. "No! When she…fingered me."
His words only increased her outrage. He said smugly, "Sounds fun."
"I'm being serious."
He snuggled closer and she felt the hardness beneath his bed-shorts. "So am I."
She coughed. "But doesn't that make me a lesbian?"
"Would you quit going on about that?"
"But doesn't it?" She felt his cock flexing through his shorts. Goodness, do you get turned on by everything?
He said, "Look, do you want to lick her pussy?"
"No, of course not."
"Then you're not a lesbian."
"It's not that simple."
He sighed. "Fine, we can be a little deeper. What do you prefer for an intimate bed-partner, a man or a woman?"
"You."
"Duh…am I a man or a woman?"
"A man."
"So…?" He bugged his eyes out at me with comic emphasis.
Jerk. "I can't believe it's that simple—"
"It is. If you don't prefer women, you're not a lesbian."
"But, with what happened—"
"Stop it. If you were tied down and blindfolded and fingers touched you and you didn't know their gender, you would probably still cum. You aren't a lesbian, get over it."
That made some sense. Sort of. "But I knew it was Lynne."
"So? If I was getting jacked by some guy, I'd probably cum. Just because I'm not gay doesn't mean something can't feel good. I'd have no control. Neither did you."
His twisted, simple and maddeningly mundane view made sense. She settled back wondering how she had blown it all out of proportion.
CHAPTER 9
Beth began to become comfortable as the weeks passed. Probably staying away from the Coffee Kitchen helped a lot. She talked to Lynne on the phone frequently and the edgy agitation began wearing away.
Bill was strangely quiet, perhaps sensing she needed time to digest all of this.
A few Saturdays after her last visit to Lynne, he made indications he was interested in sex. It certainly wasn't a bother as their couplings always affirmed to her that their bond was as strong as ever. She welcomed his advances.
He pulled the bullet out and began teasing her in bed. Outside, rain tapped fast against the window and a wind drove it one way and then the other. The shifting sound was soothing and serene.
He murmured into her ear. "You've been different lately. Not your usual self."
The vibrating toy sent tingles along her limbs and she sighed happily. Finally, she felt secure once again – satisfied with who she was and where she was in her marriage. Her husband's fantasy hadn't wrecked anything, despite her fears; they were just as strong a couple as before. She wriggled and snuggled closer to him, feeling so very much more a part of him now that she knew his unusual kink. Yeah, I can live with it, and it's kind of fun getting him excited and talking about it.
The sound of the wind driving the light rain outside made it sound more stormy than it really was. But the effect of the natural noise and the touch of the buzzing bullet had her drifting fast into a place of peace.
Bill whispered, "What's been on your mind?"
Her answer was easy and dreamy. "Not much, just adjusting to all this."
"To which part?"
She dropped her head over slightly to look at him. His face was too close and she settled looking blurrily at one of his eyes. "All of it. Your fantasy, Roger's fantasy, and what happened at Lynne's store."
"Still troubled about it all?"
Her breathing was deep and coming a little faster. Warmth spread swiftly through her. "No, not really. I think I'm all right with it all now."
"Have you been back to her store?"
Thought of going and feeling Lynne's fingers pushing into her pussy caused her to gasp. "No." An ache developed inside her and she reached over to grip her husband's shaft. It was hot in her hand and already hard. She gave it a squeeze.
Bill chuckled. "Afraid of her?"
Yes. "No, of course not."
He snorted.
Stop it. She remained quiet, hoping he would drop it.
"Or are you afraid of talking about Roger's fantasy?"
Another gasp ripped from her and she shifted her hips as the coil twisted with tension inside her. Maybe not his fantasy. But no, certainly not Lynne being weird with me.
Her husband said, "Or have you been thinking about what it would be like to be with Roger?"
A low moan of wariness and worry erupted from her throat as a wave of sexual anxiety reared up. Wow, this orgasm is building fast.
Bill didn't wait for an answer. He pulled the bullet away to Beth's disappointment. He climbed over her and positioned his erection.
She panted lightly, feeling the promise of the orgasm lurking. She needed her husband, right now, and he was ready to give.
He was grinning down at her, that smoky look of lust in his eyes. "Have you thought about…" He touched the head of his cock to her
pussy and rubbed it over her clit.
Scintillating shivers of numbing need spilled through her, saturating her nerves and limbs.
He was panting also, lightly, a glow in his eyes. "Have you thought about what his cock might be like?" He pressed the head in.
The feeling of her pussy opening as her husband mentioned Roger's cock made her gasp loudly. No, I haven't. But the image was there in her mind.
Bill paused. "Have you thought about what it would be like to feel it inside?" He rammed his shaft straight in, immediately stretching and filling her pussy with hot man-hardness.
Her mouth was open in shock and so were her eyes. No, I haven't. Really. She gasped three times before she could say, "No."
He pounded his erection into her, taking away her breath and control.
She tried not to think about Roger and what it might be like, but the image in her mind was hammered home by her husband's maniacal lust. Would it be like this? Would it be as satisfying as my husband? Surely not…
He grunted hard above her, his hips smashing down into hers – just the way she liked it. "Maybe he has a big cock."
Why do men think a huge cock is better? The imagination of her pussy being stretched more than what she was feeling made her tremble with fear and curiosity. A flash of Roger's face in her mind along with the thought of being stretched even more caused an unexpected blossoming explosion of tension and sexual need. She felt herself thrown upward, quivering, as the tightness in her became unbearable. She broke over, falling with a loud cry. Her hips thrust convulsively as her orgasm snuck in and wrecked her moment with her husband.
Bill rammed her harder, a smile of delight and delirium on his face. "Yeah, that's right. Think of his cock. Imagine how it feels."
She cried out louder, helpless to stop the orgasm and also the image of Roger being the one who was delivering her this release. She clawed at her husband and gritted her teeth, grunting loudly as she came.
Her husband gasped harshly. "Yeah, your pussy likes that, doesn't it?" He groaned savagely and slammed it all the way in. His spurts of hot seed inside her signaled his satisfaction.
No, not Roger cumming in me. She panted, still clamping with the last of her orgasm. But her body clamped harder as her mind conjured Roger above her. Her groan erupted from her throat as her body pulsed with the grinding relief of her orgasm. "Ungh…"
Beth's Dilemma Page 5
