by Tonya Kuper
I wanted to believe I was different. That I wouldn’t share Nick’s fate. But how could I know for sure?
“Josie, Reid is here to protect you. He is going to keep you safe.”
“Safe from myself.”
“He is an elite operative. He also bears a unique perspective because of his former association with our family and Nick.”
I hated her. I hated how she could compartmentalize and speak so rationally when every word from her mouth cut me to the core.
“We don’t have the luxury of time! You need to hold it together, Josie. Emotions have no place in this war.”
My God, she was so cold.
“Train with Reid. Make the serum exchange. After the ceremony, go to the Hub. Continue your training.”
“But I thought there was a leak. Isn’t the Hub compromised? Isn’t—”
Mom’s cane tapped against the floor. “That is exactly why you and Reid need to go. If there is a leak inside the Hub and they’re tipped off to your whereabouts, then—”
“Then I’d be bait. Lure them out.”
She wasn’t just cold—she was calculating. And I was nothing more to her than a pawn, a soldier to use in this war game.
I got it. I was a target. She’d made sure of that, with her dealings with SI and in injecting her serum in the first place. But how could she set me aside so easily? Did I matter so little to her?
The tears wouldn’t come, for once, and I was grateful for it. She didn’t deserve them. I understood her focus, the need to place the greater good above us, but didn’t I matter at all? Didn’t Dad or Nick?
“Reid is assigned to protect you, Josie. And he will. He’ll train you to take your rightful place in our cause.”
I didn’t want to hear about her plans. “I’m going to play with Eli,” I said.
“That is your choice.”
Right. If it didn’t pertain to the Resistance, then it probably didn’t matter to her. The same way family dinners weren’t important, and how, aside from our school work and whatever training she had in store to prepare us to become Oculi, family times were never high on her list, either.
I tugged my phone from my pocket and texted Reid as I left the kitchen and plodded up the stairs to Eli’s room. Talked about Nick.
Trying to stuff the information I’d just received and my accompanying feelings about said information deep inside me, I forced my mother from my mind. I had to face the facts. No matter what way I looked at it, I probably wouldn’t be around much longer. I wanted to spend time with my little brother.
My phone vibrated. Reid. tomorrow we’re taking the night off. we’re going out.
I didn’t want him to go easy on me. But, seeing as I didn’t know how long I had before I went crazy or got killed, I’d take going out.
18.
Reid
M
rs. Harper called and gave me an update. No wonder Josie wanted to get the hell outta Dodge.
I texted Josie to say I was on the porch. The door swung open in less than a minute and she tore out of the house past me. I followed her to my bike.
“Gah!” She kind of growled at the sky, then ran her hand through her hair. She’d left it wavy. No graphic tee tonight with her ripped jeans, but she wore more eye makeup. Striking.
She was clearly flustered but wouldn’t come right out and say it. And that was okay. That wasn’t how she rolled. “Let’s talk about it later.” I saddled up, she got on behind me, and I handed her the helmet.
“I didn’t mean you needed to take me out. I meant I needed to get out of my house.”
“Nah. You need to go out.” I started the engine
Her left hand held on to my side as she leaned forward on the right. “Wait. Where are we going?”
“To eat at a decent restaurant,” I yelled over the roar of the bike. “Then we’re doing something fun. Nothing Oculi related.” Shit. That sounds like a date.
Her arms wound around my waist, her fingers searing my skin through my shirt. Long shadows chased us down the streets, the skies painted pink and orange with the sunset.
To give her time to relax, I took an old back road and cruised the streets running out to the orange groves. The scent of citrus hung heavy in the air. Then I angled back toward town.
We tucked into a little Mexican restaurant and talked about things that normal people talked about. Movies, books, Eli, her love of baking, and memories of our childhood shenanigans. There was something therapeutic about it, probably because I’d laughed more in that hour than I had in the last six months combined.
When we climbed back on the bike after dinner, she leaned forward again. “Thank you. That was exactly what I needed.”
“Oh, we’re not done.”
“What—” I wasn’t going to let her protest, which was what she would’ve done if I’d told her my plans. She deserved to have some fun.
A few stars twinkled in the velvet black sky by the time we pulled into the warehouse. I watched Josie over my shoulder. She yanked the helmet off and stared at where the workout area usually resided. Instead, high-top tables and recycled barn-wood paneling surrounded a pool table. A jukebox sat in the corner and a rectangular billiards light illuminated the green fabric and triangle of colorful balls.
Her gaze skated to mine, a tiny line between her brows.
I held my hand out for the helmet. She placed it in my hand and hopped down, then jogged to the newly Pushed area. Her hand ran over the surface of the table as she circled it and took in the details of the new space. “What is this place?”
Crossing my arms, I leaned against one of the tall tables. “This is a replica of my favorite part of the Cavern Tavern, the Hub’s premier bar and grill.” I laughed. “It’s brighter than it should be, though.” I reached for the switch to turn down the lights.
She punched buttons on the jukebox. “The Hub has its own bar?”
“Yeah. It has everything. It’s like its own little town.”
Something flickered behind her eyes, and her stare fell to the tile floor as a song came on. We were talking about the Hub, where her mom wanted her to go. I shouldn’t have brought it up.
Stepping in front of her, I grabbed her hand and dragged her to the bar. Pulling stools out for both of us, I sat. “If we were in the real deal, this would just be a section of the bar. We’d go through that doorway to the main restaurant.”
Two frosty mugs appeared on the bar, and a little giggle escaped her. “What is it?” she chirped.
“Root beer. You want something else?”
She shook her head. “Don’t you dare Push another thing,” she said. “We’re not even practicing anything tonight and you’ve used so much energy.”
I’d talked to my dad about my energy stores before he went missing, and I’d watched my parents use their abilities as I grew up. I knew I had a decent supply to draw from. Not unlimited, but enough that these expenditures for Josie…they were worth it to me. Who knew, maybe that serum would be mass-produced at some point, administered to all the trainers and Oculi in the Hub. I honestly didn’t know if I’d take it, even if it were available. And as far as worrying about losing my powers? Operatives at my level, out on the front lines—we were lucky to survive to twenty-five.
“I’m serious, Reid! No more.”
“Okay.” I smiled. “We haven’t gotten to the best part yet.”
She sipped from the mug and licked her lips. “What’s that?”
Jumping off the stool, I racked the balls, placing them just so, as well as the cue ball. I plucked my preferred cue stick and chalked it. “No Pushing or Retracting,” I said. Then I did my thing.
I broke and picked the balls off one at a time, calling the pockets, until only the eight ball was left. I finally peeked at Josie. Her brows drew upward, and a smile greeted me. “You call the pocket,” I said, leaning on the table.
She shrugged with a laugh. “That one. The trajectory would make it nearly impossible.”
“I
f you think in straight lines, yeah. But you have to take into account the rotation you put on both balls.” I struck the cue ball, and it smacked the black ball into the designated pocket.
Josie clapped, still perched on the stool. “How’d you learn to do that?”
“Practice. The Hub can be boring for a kid. Okay, your turn.”
She nearly choked on a sip of root beer. “Oh, no. I’ve never played pool before. And I suck at using sticks to hit any kind of ball. Like baseball or golf? Tried those. Yeah, it didn’t go well.”
I ambled over to her, took the mug from her grasp, and placed it on the bar, then wrapped my hand around her fingers, tugging her to the pool table. She shook her head. “I really don’t know how to do this.”
“I’m going to show you.”
“Dear Loki.”
I laughed as I seized a short cue from the wall and handed it to her. I racked and broke the balls. Then I stood next to her and leaned over the table, aiming for a ball. “Copy me. You’re going to place your front hand on the table. People use all sorts of holds to guide the cue. It’s really just personal preference, whatever feels like you have the most control.”
She imitated my movements, knocked the ball, and it bumped two others. One crawled to the side pocket and fell in. She jumped around, squealing in excitement. Happy looked good on her.
“Okay,” she said, leaning over the table, setting up her guide hand. “Let’s do it again.” She lined up the cue and totally missed. Standing, she frowned. “Boo. What’d I do wrong?”
“It’s your back arm.” I set down my cue and stood behind Josie. Stretching my arm along the length of hers, I positioned the stick over her knuckle. Then I mimicked her stance, pressing my chest into her back, then wrapped my right hand over hers on the cue. She smelled amazing. “See…you can’t let your arm move.” My hand slid up to her elbow. “You need to keep this closer, and…”
She turned her head. Her eyes were brilliant green as always, but, for the first time, I could see beyond them. She let me witness a part of her, a vulnerability, I wasn’t sure anyone else had. And I knew what it was like trying to bury a part of yourself.
My skin buzzed where her body touched mine. And the skin that didn’t touch her craved that buzz. Her lips parted, and I wanted nothing more than to taste them, to see if her mouth held that same high.
I skimmed my hand from her elbow to her hand, pulling the cue from her grasp and tossing it. It clanged to the floor, echoing through the warehouse over the music from the jukebox, but she didn’t flinch. Adrenaline spiked my blood, sending my heart into spasms.
If I knocked down these boundaries, there was no repairing them. There was no turning back. For either of us. But I’d already decided.
I swept my hand over her arm and pulled her up. She turned, slow and torturous, then placed her hands on me. Tingles danced on my chest under her palms and my fingertips burned as they feathered down her back to her waist.
I backed her to the pool table, pressing out the space between us.
Josie
H
is dark lashes fanned over his sultry eyes as he blinked.
I inhaled deeply, trying to calm my nerves, but when my chest expanded against his, every sense was sent into overdrive. “I’m tired of not living,” I whispered. I hadn’t planned the words—they just broke out of me.
His eyes searched my face, then he dipped his head, lips barely grazing mine. My hands traveled from his chest, up his neck, and I pulled him to me, his lips pressing against mine in a soft kiss. Pulling away, he flashed his signature half smile, larger than normal. His hands quickly ran down my sides and wrapped around the back of my legs before he picked me up, sitting me on the edge of the pool table. I let out a loud gasp.
Stepping between my legs to draw closer, he kissed me again, this time pressing my lips open. His hands wound into my hair, and I was lost in him. I had no idea how long we kissed on the pool table. Eventually, he separated from me, drawing in ragged breaths.
I was petrified he’d regret kissing me and prepared myself for when he’d go cold, thinking this was a mistake. Blaming himself for the “kissing crime” that I’d wanted him to commit. In my head, I’d already played out the scenario where he’d lecture me about how this wasn’t right. And I wouldn’t be able to handle that. I cared for him—I had for a long time. Right now, beside my little brother, he was the only person I felt any kind of connection to. I couldn’t lose him.
His flirty smirk reappeared. “It’s a school night.”
“Ha.” School was now a joke. It was all an act.
His hot hands rested on my thighs, burning holes to the center of me. “So…” His dark brows rose playfully. “Can we play pool again tomorrow night? I’m not quite done with our lesson.”
I couldn’t help laughing. “Oh, for the love of Khan.”
He smiled and bit his lip. “Tomorrow it is.” Then he kissed my neck.
19.
Josie
H
annah and I strolled through the courtyard to our cars after school, the humidity so high it was insta-sweat. The fact that I was Pushing a shield around myself and Hannah, expending crazy energy, probably didn’t help. Santos or Reid was likely nearby—I didn’t think I’d been left unattended since the moment they rolled into town—but I didn’t see either of them. They tended to divide their time, sleeping in shifts, with Santos taking on most of the nighttime patrols so that Reid could train me during the day. Not seeing them…worried me. I glanced over my shoulder, scanned my surroundings, looking for any sign of a threat.
“What’s with you, Josie?” Hannah asked. “You’re going to hurt your neck if you keep whipping around like that.”
Just keeping an eye out for crazy Consortium killers.
“I, uh, thought I heard someone call my name.” As the award ceremony grew closer, I found myself growing more paranoid.
“I didn’t hear it,” Hannah said.
We continued toward the parking lot, the sun beating down mercilessly. Couple the sweltering heat with my already frazzled nerves, and it was a recipe for hot mess. Literally. My hair clung to the back of my neck and Hannah’s curls were crazy. There was just enough of a breeze to make the palms sway, but not enough to provide relief.
Hannah had texted the night before, asking if we could hang out, since it was a short school week due to spring break. I hadn’t spent any extensive time with her since my birthday, but with everything going on, it was hard to hang out and act normal. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to; I did. I was just scared. Scared of revealing my abilities. Scared of endangering Hannah.
But I realized I’d most likely be leaving in a few days after this handoff, and I didn’t know when or if I’d ever see her again. I’d checked with Mom, who agreed that a visit was “acceptable.” Reid said he and Santos would keep watch over the house but stay out of sight. My next “pool” lesson with Reid would have to wait.
Hannah and I crossed the parking lot.
“Josie!”
I whipped around and had to mentally stop myself from erecting a big ol’ wall right in front of me. Thankfully, I didn’t Push anything. Although I felt the surge in my shield, I just prayed Hannah didn’t, too.
“Wait up!” Marisa skipped over, her dark ponytail swishing from side to side. “Here.” She handed Hannah and me neon yellow pieces of paper. “The deets for that bonfire,” she shouted over her shoulder as she ran toward other students.
Hannah giggled. “You okay?”
“Too much caffeine, I think.” I lowered my shield some.
She nudged my arm. “I was thinking of asking Santos to the bonfire tomorrow night. What do you think?”
I couldn’t tell her what I really thought—that I wasn’t sure if he would go because he couldn’t commit to any kind of relationship with a Planck.
“You should ask him. Or Ian. He’d be a good option, too.” I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but I also didn’t want Santos to hav
e to reject her. She was living the life I wanted, the life I’d been working toward for the last two years. I was happy for her, but I would surely turn green from my envy. A redheaded Gamora.
“Ooooh! Forgot about Ian,” she whispered. Then she hesitated for a moment next to the door of her car. “Okay, I’ll be over in a few minutes. We haven’t done a sleepover in forever.” She slipped behind the wheel of her car, and I walked a little farther to mine, nonchalantly peeking in the backseat before getting in. If someone were waiting back there to kill me, he would’ve died first in the heat.
I drove home and let my mind wander. After such a crazy week, I was looking forward to a girls’ night. I needed some BFF time to forget about everything, even if it was temporary. Besides, it could be my last girls’ night. Ever.
H
annah bounded up the stairs, the floor creaking underfoot. “I’m here!”
Pulling in a long breath, I mentally prepared. I’d shove everything to the cobwebbed corners of my mind and pretend my life hadn’t been turned into some effed-up series on the SyFy network. Psh. No prob.
We watched the best scenes of the movies we loved and ordered pizza. Eventually, I dug out my nail polish and stretched across my bed like we’d done so many times in the last two years. In the grand scheme of things, two years ago wasn’t that long, but it seemed like a lifetime after my intro into Oculi weirdness.
Things had been simpler two years ago. Heck, things had been simpler two weeks ago.
Hannah rolled a bottle of blue nail polish between her palms. “So, are you going to tell me what’s going on? You’ve acted odd since your birthday, which just happens to be when Reid moved to town.”
My heart stuttered and I choked on my saliva. I didn’t answer. Her hazel eyes were wide and waiting.
I picked out a purple nail polish, hoping she’d change the subject.
“J? You’ve spent a lot of time with Reid. I’m all for helping out the new kid, and I know you guys have a mutual friend, but I think you like him.”
