by A. D. Ryan
Goosebumps rippled up in the wake of his lips as they brushed across my shoulder, and my breath shuddered when his teeth scraped my skin, using them to pull the strap of my tank top down. I knew we needed sleep, especially given the hour, but my body immediately warmed to David’s intentions when I felt him grow aroused behind me. I rolled over to face him, my desire sparking to life and flaring rapidly.
His arm remained around my waist, holding me tight against him as we kissed. David’s lips were firm and insistent against my own, and there was an eager yearning that burned between us as he slipped his hand under my shirt and palmed my breast with urgency. Moaning, I arched my body into his touch, reveling in the way his hands played my body like a well-tuned instrument and greedy for more. He knew me like no one else. Not even Nick…at least, not anymore.
Nick used to know me better than anyone. His ability to know what I needed or what I was thinking far surpassed anyone’s. I used to think it was because we were meant to be, but since David seemed to be capable of it also, perhaps it was as simple as my willingness to let someone in. Let someone love me.
The mere thought of Nick forced a fresh surge of rage through my body. How could I even think of him at a time like this? Who did that?
Angry at myself and desperate to push my ex from my mind, I made short work of the few articles of clothing we had on and straddled David’s hips, slowly lowering myself onto him. When he brought his hands to my waist in an effort to set our pace, I grabbed and raised them up over his head. Holding them there as our bodies writhed against each other, I leaned forward and kissed him hungrily.
It didn’t take long for my climax to build, my skin buzzing and alight with desire as I released his arms and dragged my nails lightly down them. His biceps quivered beneath my touch, registering the ticklish sensation for what it was on his increasingly sensitive flesh, and I deepened our already voracious kiss…
“You know it can’t work, right?”
I bit back a snarl and continued to try to focus solely on David.
Sadly, Nick kept worming his way into my thoughts, and it made me increasingly more forceful and dominant with David.
Lost in my thoughts about Nick, David caught me off guard, flipping us over on the bed and pinning me beneath him. While I usually welcomed a change of pace and position, I needed to be in control. If I wasn’t in control, my thoughts might slip at any moment.
Like they’re not slipping already, Brooke.
I used my body weight and rolled us over once again, but I misjudged just how much bed was left, and we toppled to the floor, a mess of tangled limbs and joined body parts. I banged my elbow, the pain rocketing up my arm, but I forgot about it when David laughed and pulled my face back to his. He kissed me softly, picking up where we left off, and I sighed as a wave of contentedness washed over me. He didn’t really seem to care that we were on the cold hardwood floor as opposed to our warm, soft bed, and to be honest, neither did I. This moment was perfect because we were together, so I lost myself in him completely, moving my hands over his sweat-slickened skin and feeling his heartbeat quicken beneath my hands as I dragged them over his chest…
“He’s human. You’re not. It’s dangerous for you to be with him.”
No! Just because Nick was too scared to even try to make our relationship work didn’t mean he could scare me away from the one man who’d made me happy after he left. Yes, I’d changed, but I wasn’t dangerous. I cared for David…loved him. So much. How could I possibly hurt him?
“I love you,” I breathed against his lips, hoping that declaring it aloud would keep Nick from intruding with his unwelcome opinions. The first wave of pleasure passed through me, my skin tingling as it radiated from every pore. My fingers and toes curled when David returned the sentiment, his words coming out somewhat broken as his hips stilled beneath mine.
Out of breath, I collapsed onto David’s chest, and when my gaze traveled along the dark wooden floors, I giggled, having momentarily forgotten falling out of bed. I lifted my head, resting my chin on David’s sternum, and met his eyes. He still looked tired—satisfied, but tired, nonetheless—so I moved to slip away from him, but he held me in place for a moment longer, lifting his head to kiss me lightly.
We remained like this for a few minutes, enjoying the closeness after such intensity, and David’s hand stroked the length of my hair, tickling my back until I shivered. All traces of Nick disappeared, much to my relief. The last thing I needed was for my thoughts to be clouded with him right before falling asleep.
I shivered again as David’s fingers moved down my spine, and with a soft, exhausted chuckle, he took this as his cue to usher me back into bed and beneath the thick blanket. The second my head hit my pillow, the exhaustion that avoided me all night hit me like a bus. I yawned as David pulled me closer, and I rested my head in the crook of his neck, letting sleep finally take over.
Coffee was the first thing I smelled, and it pulled me from sleep. Inhaling deeply, I rubbed my eyes and sat up. That’s when I smelled the bacon…and the eggs. I already knew what I would find when I looked to my left, but I did it out of habit; the bed was empty, save for me. I reached over to find David’s side of the bed chilly, and I smiled fondly as I reminisced about the night we shared.
I could practically feel his hands on every inch of my skin, and it warmed me entirely, the heat moving down my body as my toes curled again. There was nothing about last night that wasn’t amazing. In fact, the intensity still hung in the air, stimulating my longing for him all over again. Seemed last night made me more than a little insatiable.
The combined smells of my breakfast pulled me further from my slightly dazed and sleepy state, and I placed my feet on the chilly floor, reaching my arms up over my head and stretching. There was a satisfying pop in my spine, and my skin tingled from the release of tension.
Before exiting the room, I grabbed the yoga pants I’d stuffed in my top drawer the night before and pulled them on, padding down the hall barefoot. In the kitchen, David stood at the stove, dressed in nothing more than his plaid sleep pants, as he cooked breakfast like a pro. There weren’t many people who would risk cooking a food like bacon in next to nothing, and I crossed my arms, leaning against the entryway wall and watched raptly.
Turning his head, he caught me watching him and grinned. “You’re awake,” he said. “I didn’t hear you come down the hall.”
Laughing lightly, I stepped toward him and wrapped my arms around his waist and watched him cook. “I’m pretty stealthy.” As he flipped the bacon over in the frying pan, I glanced up at the clock on the stove and gasped. “It’s almost ten in the morning.”
“Yup.”
I was stunned. It’d been over two weeks since I’d slept this late. Lately, I’d been waking up before dawn with an insane burst of energy. The energy was still very much there, so I was willing to bet that this change was simply due to the fact that I went to bed later than usual, altering my internal clock slightly.
Or maybe you just expelled all that extra energy into the amazing sex last night, I told myself.
Whatever the cause, it was a bit surprising.
While David finished up with breakfast, I set the table. By the time everything was in place, David brought the food over, and we sat down to dish up. Everything smelled amazing, and looked even better. Having gotten used to my increased appetite, David prepared more than double what the two of us would normally eat—which meant I ate almost three times what I used to. It concerned me in the first few days, but because I’d never felt better, I didn’t worry for long.
After David had a chance to dish up, I loaded my own plate with bacon, eggs, and even a huge heap of hashbrowns since I was no longer repulsed by anything that wasn’t meat. David seemed pleased by this turn in my appetite as he brought his fork to his mouth. I was just about to do the same when my attention shifted from the food on my fork in front of me to the dark rings around his wrist.
My stomach turned vio
lently, and I gasped, dropping my own food-filled fork as I reached for his hand. Eggs splattered across the table and onto the floor, but I didn’t care. “What the hell?” I asked, inspecting the faint bruises circling his wrist. I glanced over at the other one—the one I’d watched flip the bacon in the pan—and noticed that it, too, had some bruising, but it wasn’t nearly as noticeable.
David chuckled, flipping his hand over to show me the rest of the injury. It was then I realized they were a perfect outline for my fingers. “You were pretty aggressive last night. All of your early morning workouts must be paying off.” I ghosted the angry-looking marks with my fingertips, being careful not to press too hard. “It’s okay, they don’t hurt.”
Bile churned in my stomach.
“He’s human. You’re not. It’s dangerous for you to be with him.”
I hated to let Nick invade my thoughts again, but given the evidence in front of me, it was a little difficult to not take stock in his previous warnings: It’s dangerous for me to be with him…I’m dangerous.
“I-I’m sorry,” I stammered, still unable to believe I was—am—capable of something like this.
“I’m not. Shit happens, Brooke. Besides, I didn’t complain last night, and you’re sure as hell not going to hear me start now.” He laughed again, withdrawing his hand from my grip. “If you’re worried that you hurt me, you didn’t.”
I had trouble believing him, thinking that maybe he was just trying to placate me, because the proof was right there around his wrists in a deepening purple hue. Regardless of how many times he told me not to worry about it, guilt consumed me, and I replayed what happened in the bedroom over and over again. Unlike earlier when I fondly reminisced about it, now I analyzed it, trying to figure out when I lost my self-restraint.
And it all pointed to one conclusion: Nick.
It was Nick telling me that David and I couldn’t work due to what happened to me. His stupid warning got to me on a much deeper level, and in the heat of the moment, I felt the best way to eliminate his taunting from my mind was to push past it forcefully. What I hadn’t expected was that I would be as physically forceful toward David while mentally willing Nick from my thoughts. I’d done what I wanted to prove I would never do: I hurt him because I lost control.
I hurt him. I’m dangerous.
I tried to shake the thoughts from my head, but it wasn’t easy. The more I tried, the more I wondered if Nick was right, and I hated myself for that.
I thought about everything I’d learned over the past few days in regard to what had been happening to me—my strange surges of strength and energy, my heightened senses, my cravings. Yes, I hadn’t been acting like myself in the beginning, and while I initially questioned it, I admit that I grew accustomed to everything—liked it even—and as time went on, it was as if something deep inside told me that this was how it was supposed to be. That it was okay for me to be experiencing all of this, and that it was natural.
Then Nick came barreling back into my life with information that would change my life as I knew it, and now all I could think about was how I hurt someone I loved.
My guilt continued to mount, tightening like a knot in my churning stomach, and my appetite disappeared. David noticed this, and repeated again and again that I shouldn’t dwell on it, but how could I not? How could I know for certain that this wouldn’t happen again next time?
Next time? I surprised myself when I inwardly voiced the question, and I immediately resolved that there wouldn’t be a next time. There couldn’t be. At least, not until I knew how to control my strength completely—which, according to Nick, could take quite some time.
When I looked up again, I could see in David’s eyes that he was worried about my reaction to all of this, and I realized that I might not have the luxury of time. If I pulled away again—even to fix this—I risked losing him.
Chapter twenty-three | detached
It wasn’t easy, pretending everything was fine, and I knew David saw through each and every reassurance. And he was right to be skeptical. Any idiot could see that, never mind my police detective boyfriend. I wasn’t intentionally pushing him away, but I was terrified of hurting him again.
The reality of harming him still weighed heavily on my mind. It was no longer just a possibility, and I realized I was lucky to have only harmed him minutely. But it was only a matter of time before I lost control completely. The full moon was coming in just over three weeks, and until I learned to shift of my own volition, it would be forced upon me again and again and again.
Nick promised to help me with this, but I was afraid to contact him. This, of course, didn’t mean he hadn’t contacted me. He had. Several times a day. It was a real chore keeping it from David.
Why hadn’t I pick up or call him back? Because I was a coward. I feared he might see what I’d done, the shame I felt, and tell me that he told me so. I wouldn’t be able to handle that. I didn’t need him to add to my guilt.
That didn’t mean I wouldn’t contact him. I just needed another day or two. I needed…time. Not that it helped me in any way.
But I had to. With every day that passed, I knew I did. If not for me, then for David. He was the best thing to ever happen to me—I knew that now—and I wouldn’t leave him. I knew what that felt like, and I refused to run away. No, I would learn to control this so we could be together.
And what about those reemerging feelings for Nick? I hadn’t forgotten about them. How could I? I was reminded of what we used to share every time we were in the same room together. I could feel the heat of his gaze, feel the pull he had over the desires I thought long gone, but I kept telling myself that what I felt was just residual emotions from the past. That it was all just familiar, and that they’d be forgotten the second he left town.
But deep down, I knew better. I knew it was more. I could feel it.
And it terrified me.
“You okay?” David’s voice startled me from my thoughts, and I looked across the car at him. Letting his eyes wander from the road for a second, he grinned at me. “You seem scared.”
See. He was rather astute as of late.
“You have no reason to be nervous,” he told me with a genuine snicker. “It’s not like I haven’t already met your parents.”
I wished it was just my mother’s dinner invitation that had me so preoccupied.
Probably in hopes of drawing me from my tumultuous thoughts, David laid a hand over mine as they sat clenched in my lap. Glancing down, I watched the sleeve of his leather jacket creep up, exposing his wrist. The bruises had faded, but they were still there; a faint yellow-tinted reminder of what I did to him. I still couldn’t bear the sight, and with a shaky breath, I gently pulled my hands from his grasp and pretended to fix my hair. I hoped he wouldn’t see the gesture for what it was, but he did.
He exhaled heavily, placing both hands back on the wheel and tightening his grip around it. He didn’t bring up the issue; he knew what it was, and it frustrated him to no end that he had no idea how to fix it.
Truthfully, neither did I. But I was working on it, and I hoped to figure it out before it was too late.
Even though he already knew the source of my unease, I offered him a gentle smile. “Yes. I realize you’ve already met them both,” I said. “But this is entirely different. We’re together now. Openly together and living under the same roof. I don’t think you fully understand what this means to my mother.”
The tension in the car lifted slightly, and I was thankful for it.
My mother’s invitation to dinner wasn’t too big a shock. It was bound to happen eventually, and the only thing that surprised me was that it had taken her this long to organize something. Mind you, David and I had been pretty tied up with work lately, and with my father being in charge of our department, I suppose she was privy to our availability through him. Add to that my recent wolf attack and hospitalization, and we were almost impossible to plan around.
While we still had yet to break
ground on our case, my dad suggested we needed a break from everything. He felt like we were running around in circles, chasing our tails—an analogy that wasn’t nearly as humorous as it was now, given my circumstances when the full moon came around every month.
When we arrived at my parents’ house, David rushed around and opened my door for me before I got the chance. It was sweet, and I smiled appreciatively as he reached into the backseat and grabbed the bouquet of flowers and bottle of wine he’d picked up earlier. As we made our way up the walk, I grew increasingly more nervous because I didn’t know what to expect.
My mom opened the door only moments after we knocked, and she pulled me into her arms. “Brooke, honey,” she said. “I’m so glad you two could make it.” After releasing me, she looked over at David, wearing the biggest smile I’d ever seen, and then she hugged him too.
It caught him slightly off guard, but he recovered quickly. “Mrs. Leighton,” David responded. “Thanks for having us.” He held out the wine and flowers. “These are for you.”
“How sweet,” was her response as she accepted them from him and ushered us inside. “And it’s Laura. Now come on, you two. Dinner’s ready.”
I took David’s jacket and hung it with mine in the coat closet before we followed my mother into the dining room. The rich smell of her cooking infused the air, making my mouth water as I inhaled deeply and pinpointed what we were having. Roast beef… I inhaled again, licking my bottom lip. Mashed potatoes… Swallowing the saliva that continued to pool in my mouth, I took one more deep breath. Steamed broccoli in Mom’s homemade cheese sauce.
If I thought I was hungry before, it was nothing compared to what I felt now.
“Is there anything I can help with, Mrs…” David paused for a minute before amending himself. “Laura.”
