“But you did. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore.” I take a deep breath trying to control the tears that are trying to burst out of my eyes. “I can’t be with you. I can’t trust you.” My voice cracks, tears pool into my eyes. I look at him as I say this. He looks broken.
“No, please don’t say that,” he begs.
“You don’t even know why you were with her. How can I trust you?” I say trying to hold back a sob. I take a deep, steadying breath. “I do love you, but I can’t trust you,” I manage to say.
“We can work through this,” he pleads. “I swear I will never stray again. I promise. I love you.” He grabs my hands and gazes at me through tear strewn eyes. “Please, forgive me.” He looks desolate.
I look at him, so remorseful. I still don’t understand why he cheated on me in the first place. “I can’t,” I whisper. “Whenever we would be apart, I’d wonder where you were or who you were with. I can’t live like that.”
“Please Liv, don’t leave me.” He is begging, pleading with me, and it’s killing me. I can’t help but remember all the good times we had. My days started and ended with him. He was the love of my life and all I have ever known. I was focusing on my degree so we could live without surviving paycheck to paycheck. Once I had a full time job, we were going to get married and buy a house.
But Brenda keeps telling me I’m young and there is so much more life ahead of me. Can I move past this? I know quite a few people that have taken their lover back after an affair and have been happy. I honestly don’t know if I have that in me. “Please, Evan. Stop. You cheated on me. This is all on you.” I wipe away a stray tear that has fallen down my cheek. He stares at me like his world is crashing around him. I don’t know what else to say to him.
“What can I do to regain your trust?” he asks, clinging to my hands as if I’m about to run.
“I don’t know. Time, maybe.”
“I can do time, I can wait. I just need to know that I didn’t lose you forever.”
He’s been a huge part of my life for so long, I’m not sure I can totally break free from him; to cut all ties. “I can’t say that we’ll be together somewhere down the line, but when I get home at the end of the summer we can try to be friends.” I’m not even sure that will work. They say that men and women can’t be friends, because the man always wants to get in the woman’s pants. I have never had a friend that was a guy, at least not a straight one, so I don’t know if that’s true or not.
“I don’t want to lose you. If that means starting from the beginning, then that’s what I am willing to do,” he states, his words a passionate plea.
“That’s not exactly what I said.” Oh, I don’t know what I’m saying anymore. “I am taking the next ferry back to the beach. Just friends, Evan. I don’t know if it will work, but we can try. This doesn’t mean that we’re back together. I don’t trust you,” I say with vehemence.
“Okay, I can live with that. I can wait for you.” His face lights up, and a small smile plays on his lips. I take a deep breath trying to calm my nerves. That went better than I thought it would. That would be because I caved. I stand up, and he stands next to me and stares into my eyes. “I will wait for you,” he whispers. Crap.
We walk back toward the ferry station. I have another fifteen minutes until the ferry leaves. “I’ll call you when I get home next month.” He smiles and nods his head.
“I look forward to it,” he says anxiously. He turns and walks toward his car like he has a little more spring to his step. I hope I didn’t give him a false sense of hope.
I buy another round trip ticket back to Davis and board the Kiki. It is busier this direction than coming over, so I have to search out a seat. I find one toward the front of the boat up top. I sit down and think about our conversation.
I know I spent a lot of time studying and focusing on my career. The past few months we hadn’t seen much of each other, especially since this was my last semester. But, Evan and I didn’t have much of a love life to begin with. He was more like my best friend with benefits. Although, I really don’t have anything to compare it with. We would watch TV lying on the bed or go out with his friends. Sex was rare. Either I was studying, or he was tired from his construction job. I was a virgin when I started dating Evan, and I never thought I would be intimate with anyone else. Until I met Chase.
Chase makes me feel wanted, desired. The way he looks at me makes me tingle all over. He touches me, and I swoon. When we danced in his cottage, I almost gave myself to him. He could hold me in his arms, and I would be happy for the rest of my life. I don’t remember Evan ever making me feel that way, even when we first started dating. I love Evan, but now I wonder if it’s more like a best friend kind of love. Maybe this breakup is the best thing that can happen to me.
I’m back in Davis by noon. Not too bad. I don’t see anyone so my secret is safe. I walk down Trustee Walk toward my house. It’s Monday, and there aren’t too many people on the walk. Instead of turning right toward the house, I continue straight to take a look at the beach. It’s a beautiful day, waves aren’t too rough. Not too hot. A nice day to read a book down by the water. I turn around and head toward my house to retrieve my beach equipment. As I turn the corner, I see Chase walking toward me. He changed his shirt to a tight blue t-shirt. Wow, those abs. He sees me and smiles.
“Hi,” I murmur.
“Hi.”
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“Yeah, why?” He’s puzzled.
“Well the way you left this morning . . .” I trail off.
“I’m sorry. Hearing about what that scumbag did to you, it just set me off,” he apologizes.
“Oh, I thought I said something to offend you.”
“No, of course not. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Oh, good.” I let out the breath I’m holding.
“I’m heading down to the docks. Do you want to come? I’m taking the boat out.” He smiles that dazzling smile that makes me dizzy.
“Boat?” I question.
“Didn’t I tell you? I have a boat. It’s normally on the North Shore, but I had it brought around for the rest of the week,” he says with pride. Boys and their toys.
“Um, sure. Just let me go and tell Brenda where I’ll be. Otherwise, she’ll worry.”
“Okay, I’ll see you in a few.” He beams.
I go past the house down the walk that leads to the beach. Climbing down the steps, I see her umbrella a little to my right. I walk over to her knowing she won’t be able to hear me, and tap her on the shoulder. She pulls out her ear buds. “What’s up?” she asks.
“I ran into Chase on the walk. He wants me to go with him for a boat ride.”
“Boat ride?”
“Yes. Apparently, he has a boat. I just found out myself.”
“Of course he does,” she mutters sardonically.
“I won’t be gone too long, I don’t think.” I wonder where we are going.
“Have fun and I’ll see you later.” She waves and puts her ear buds back in.
I head up to the house to grab a bag, and change into my favorite bathing suit. It’s the Victoria Secret unforgettable Demi Top in wicked rose with the matching hipster bottom. After putting my denim shorts back on with my white tank top over the bikini, I throw a towel, my sunscreen, my iPod and a sundress in case I get wet, into the duffle bag. Then, I grab my Coach sunglasses and run out the door.
Chase is waiting by the general store when I appear from down the walk. “Ready?” he asks all excited.
“Yup, let’s go,” I say equally as excited. “Where is your boat?”
“On the other side. Come.” He grabs my hand, and I follow him down the dock. We make a left at the end and continue walking. He stops in front of the biggest boat in the marina. Holy fuck! To say the boat is large is an understatement. It’s a beast.
“How big is she?” I ask in astonishment.
“She’s a forty-five footer,” he says with a boyish smile
on his lips. I just stare at this behemoth of a boat.
“What kind of boat is it?” I’m still gaping.
“She’s a Sealine S450. Can’t buy these boats in the US, had her brought over from England. Isn’t she a beauty?”
“This is not a boat, it’s a mansion with fins,” I say, gawking at it. The boat is beautiful I must admit. He jumps on and reaches over to help me aboard. The platform is very close to the dock making it easy to get on. I notice the name of the boat painted above the loading platform: Carpe Diem. Hmm, seize the day.
I step onto the platform and whoa! It’s even bigger on the inside than it looks from standing on the dock. It has a huge seating area toward the back of the boat. We walk in between two L shape benches.
“Watch this.” He reaches behind one of the bench couches and hits a button. “Electronic rear cockpit seating system that slides together to seat dining for eight or convert into rear or forward facing sunbathing area.” Jeez, he sounds like a boat salesman. The couches move together to form a huge u-shaped couch. “It makes it easier to walk around the side of the boat this way,” he says. “This boat features a full length, soft top convertible roof system, and large opening side windows which let in the light and the fresh air.” He points up. I just stand there staring in awe at the largesse of it all. “Take a seat while I help Paul cast off.”
I didn’t notice there was someone else on the boat. He was toward the bow and untying ropes when we came on. I turn and sit toward the back of the boat, waiting for them to finish whatever it is they’re doing.
Chase comes back around and yells out to Paul, “Ready on your side?”
“Yeah, I’m good.” Paul comes around from the front and heads toward the helm. He starts the engine, and we slowly move forward. Chase appears from the side and sits down next to me. I give him a puzzled look. “Paul is the captain,” he states. Oh. “Paul, this is Olivia.”
Paul shakes my hand. “Pleasure, ma’am.”
Chase turns his attention back to me. “I thought we’d head out to the ocean and cruise around for a bit if that’s okay with you,” he says cautiously.
“Won’t the ocean be too rough?” I ask.
“Not in this.” He smiles like a little kid running loose in a candy store, and I can’t help but to smile back.
“Okay,” I say. “It’s not like I have much choice. I’m trapped.”
“You aren’t trapped. You don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to,” he says with a nervous edge to his voice.
“No, I’m kidding,” I say with alarm. I see I hit a nerve. I try a distraction tactic. “Can I see the rest of the boat?”
“Of course.” His eyes soften with relief, his shoulders visibly relax. And he’s back. He stands up and holds out his hand. “I don’t want you falling. It gets a little bumpy.” I take his hand, and we head forward. “I’m going to show her below. Let me know when we get to the inlet,” he yells up to Paul.
“Sure thing.”
We head down a few steep steps into what appears to be the salon / galley combo. It’s a large space with a full width skylight. Comfortable dining area that I’m told converts into a double berth. Why don’t they just call them beds? Dark cushions and chrome. Very modern. It even comes complete with an iPod docking station that’s hooked up to the speaker system. On the opposite side of the dining area is the galley kitchen. Full height fridge and freezer, electric range, oven, dishwasher, the works. It’s bigger than most apartments.
The aft cabin that is behind the stairs has a versatile layout to sleep three. There’s a bathroom across on the other side.
We continue walking forward through the galley into the master suite. It’s a double berth, sort of round. There is storage on either side with shelves that go almost all the way around. Attached is a separate shower and toilet. I just stare.
“This is a lot to take in.” My voice is soft and hesitant.
“What do you mean?” he asks, his head cocked to one side. He looks so sexy when he does that. I take a seat on the edge of the bed.
“This.” I wave my arm at the grandeur.
“It’s just a boat,” he says regarding me warmly. He saunters forward so he is standing right in front of me.
“It’s a yacht. I’ve never been on such an extravagant boat.”
He tilts my head up so I am looking at him. “It’s just a boat,” he repeats. Just a boat that must have cost at least half a million dollars. He tucks a stray hair behind my ear and strokes my cheek. My breath hitches. I close my eyes and savor the feeling. His hands are so soft. When I open my eyes, he is regarding me with admiration. His eyes are blazing. Kneeling down, Chase kisses me gently. I close my eyes and kiss him back. His lips molding mine, our tongues caressing each other. His hand travels up my arm to the back of my neck. His fingers splayed out in my hair. I tenderly hold either side of his face.
He tugs on my hair so my head tilts up. His lips travel from my lips to my earlobe, nipping. His breath is like a caress against my skin. I moan. He rains kisses down my neck, across to my shoulder. His hand still in my hair, he comes back up to my neck, to my mouth. Firmer this time, demanding. I clamp down on his lower lip and pull. A guttural moan comes from deep in his throat.
My fingers run through his unruly hair, pulling as I go. He loops his arms around my back and draws me close. I can feel his muscles rippling against my breasts, pressing against me. His kiss deepens, more passionate. His heartbeat is racing underneath his shirt, matching mine. He cups my face with both hands, gazing down at me. I’m panting, trying to catch my breath. “You are so beautiful.” His voice is raspy and low, struggling for control.
Chase closes his eyes briefly, then stands up and holds out his hands. “We’re near the inlet. Let’s go back up top,” he says with a tinge of melancholy. Wait, what? I just sit there staring at him. We were . . . he was so . . . gah! What happened? That was the most sensual kiss I have ever experienced. Even more so than the one we shared at my cottage.
He continues to stand in front of me with his proffered hand out, waiting. I look up at him a bit disconcerted. I place my hand in his, and he pulls me close so I am right up against him. His lips quirk up into a half smile. He kisses me on the forehead, then still holding my hand, turns back toward the galley. As we headed toward the stairs, Paul peeks his head down.
“Perfect timing, Mr. Remington, I was about to yell down. We’re about at the inlet.”
He nods, and we head back up top.
There are four wide forward facing seats at the helm, two on each side. Paul is sitting on the right steering the boat. We take the two seats on the left. I sit on the outside by the window so Chase can talk to Paul.
“The wind has picked up, looks pretty choppy,” Paul says. Chase runs a hand through his hair, looking deep in thought. Suddenly, he turns to me.
“Are you hungry?”
“I don’t know, I guess.” Chase moves over toward Paul and whispers something into his ear. Paul gives him a conspiratorial nod. Chase smiles, gives me a wink, and heads downstairs. Paul passes Moriches inlet and keeps heading east.
A few minutes later, Chase appears from below deck and sits down next to me. “Change of plans.” I look at him dumbfounded. His smile gets broader. “We’re going to one of my favorite restaurants,” he states cryptically.
“Okay,” I reply, albeit still confused.
Paul continues through Shinnecock Bay and continues heading east. “Where exactly are we going?” My curiosity is piqued.
“It’s a surprise.” He gives me an enigmatic smile. I hate secrets.
Twenty minutes later, Paul approaches a no wake zone and slows the boat down. He maneuvers in between buoys and pulls up to a dock.
“We’re here,” Chase announces.
There is a dark Lincoln Town car waiting for us as we disembark. Chase gives me a mischievous grin. “We need a car for where we’re going,” he says twitching with excitement.
Oh.
�
�You’re not going to tell me,” I mutter petulantly.
“Nope.” He smiles. I don’t have a prayer.
Chase walks to the car and graciously opens the door for me. I slide in, and he closes the door. He walks around the back of the car and gets in beside me. He nods to the driver, and we’re off. “Can you at least tell me where we are?”
“Somewhere in the Hamptons.”
Ugh.
I’m not familiar with this end of the island. It’s where the rich and famous come to spend their summers, and I avoid the temptation to gawk like a tourist.
The roads are quiet and scenic. Quaint little towns, nestled in between 19th century homes, gives it a feel of being in the middle of nowhere. After driving for a bit, we slow down and pull up in front of a restaurant. “I’ll open your door,” he whispers. He slides out of the car and comes around to open my door.
The restaurant is amidst several other buildings, almost like a strip mall. I look up at the name. Bobby Van’s. Holy fuck. This is a very exclusive expensive restaurant in Bridgehampton that has been around since 1969. This is the type of restaurant that famous people come to. Very famous people. It was rumored that Truman Capote finished his novel In Cold Blood here.
“I am so underdressed.” Ooh, the sundress. “I have a sundress in my bag . . .” I trail off realizing that the bag is still on the boat.
“No, you look fantastic. It’s fine,” he reassures me. I stare up at the sign in pure panic. He must sense my reticence. “If you’re that uncomfortable, we can eat outside.”
I turn to look at him. His lips twitch into a sideways smile that makes me all warm and fuzzy. “Okay,” I acquiesce.
Within a minute of us standing out front, the maître d’ comes running out. “Mr. Remington, what a pleasure,” he gushes. He and Chase shake hands. “I have a private table waiting for you inside.”
“That won’t be necessary, Charles,” Chase says with authority. “We’ll dine outside today.”
“Excellent. Give me a moment to set up a table for you.” He runs inside and grabs a server. They both amass silverware and menus and set up a large table. It’s a gorgeous day, and I’m surprised there aren’t more people eating outside. Charles motions us over to the table.
Drawn to You Page 7
