There was a long pause then, with Ray and Javon and the twins all waiting for Ms. Itsui to speak. “I can see that this means a lot to you, Mr. Chen,” she said at last.
"It means a lot to all of us, Ms. Itsui."
She set her plate aside and pulled out her datapad. “I'd like to take a closer look at some of your numbers."
"Of course."
There was still a lot of work to do. But that was the moment that Ray knew she was hooked.
* * * *
II. A corporate cubicle in Cocoa, Florida, April 2041
"Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete."
Tony Ramirez was pruning ideas. His desk was crowded with icons, each one representing an idea he'd invested five minutes or a day or a week on.
None of them were any good. He needed a fresh start.
He paused with his finger on the icon labeled “Embrace Space!” He was still fond of that slogan—the rhythm and rhyme were compelling, and the text treatment the graphic artists had come up with had a lot of snap. But the client thought it was “too pedestrian."
"Delete.” The icon dissolved beneath his fingertip in a puff of pixels.
Damn the client, anyway. Damn all clients everywhere.
Tony stood and stretched. The clock in one corner of his desk read four o'clock ... one more hour and it would be the weekend. Maybe he should knock off early, get in a little surfing.
He touched a control on his desk and the window blinds rotated, letting in the sun and the view. Just a few miles away, across the Indian River, one of the client's boosters stood idle—a slim white cigar crammed with construction supplies for Virgin LLC's growing Branson Station, pinned to the launch pad by lawsuits over noise.
There was the problem in a nutshell: the thunder of rocket engines had changed from a triumph to an annoyance. Noise lawsuits, problems hiring and retaining qualified people, stagnant stock price—all of these were symptoms of the public image problem that Virgin had hired Tony's firm to solve. If this launch hiatus went on much longer they might pull out of Florida. They might even give up on space altogether.
Tony paced behind his desk, the surf momentarily forgotten. How the heck was he supposed to make space exciting? He'd interviewed dozens of people—space workers as well as the general public—and not one of them thought of it as much more than just another place to work. Sure, there was some danger to it. But driving to work was dangerous right here on Earth.
He scrolled through the interview folder on his desk, looking for inspiration, and paused at the image of an eighty-year-old anglo who still remembered the California redwoods and the space race with the Russians. “When I was a kid,” he'd said, “astronauts were heroes, not people. You only ever saw them in black and white, on teevee or in the papers. These days they're everywhere, in living color. But they're just like all the rest of my neighbors—boring!” And he'd laughed, showing perfect white reconstructed teeth.
Tony had written off that guy at the time as just another disaffected boomer. But now he wondered if people like him might find it easier to get excited about space if it was smaller and farther away again—squished down to fit into a tiny black and white teevee screen.
No, that wasn't quite it. But there was something there he could use.
Black and white, yes. Plain. Simplistic. A plain and simple hero. Something people could believe in. Something real.
Tony was starting to get excited about this one. “New file.” A window opened on his desk, the blinking cursor awaiting his words.
An astronaut, like in the space race? No ... too old-fashioned, too militaristic for today's audience. It had to be some kind of space worker.
He scrolled back through the interview folder until he found an orbital welder named Sara he'd cornered for an hour in a bar on Merritt Island, and touched Play. “There was this guy called Mike,” the welder's image said. “I'll never forget him. We called him Titanium-Belly Mike—he'd drink anything."
Tony's lip quirked. That wasn't the right image at all. But the name....
And then the whole thing snapped together in his head.
"This is the story of Titanium Mike,” he said, and the words appeared silently on the screen. “His father was a shuttle pilot and his mother was a welder. He was born wearing a space suit, and when he was nine days old he built himself a rocket and took off for orbit. Then, when his rocket ran low on fuel, he lassoed a satellite with a length of high-tensile cable and pulled himself up the rest of the way on that. He was so tough that radiation just bounced off him...."
It was crazy and nonsensical and childish, and it desperately needed editing, but something about it really resonated. Tony stayed at his desk until well after midnight, the tale growing and embellishing itself as though it were passing through him from somewhere else rather than him making it up.
He mocked it up over the weekend and showed it to his boss first thing Monday morning. They presented it to the client on Thursday and it went national the following month.
Twelve-year-old Ray Chen and millions of other kids took Titanium Mike into their hearts.
Later, they took him with them into space.
* * * *
I. A bar in Port Canaveral, Florida, January 2023
Sara Perez rolled her beer bottle around and around in the little sticky puddle on the bar, resting her chin on her fist. She really ought to go back to her room and pack up. Tomorrow was going to be a very long day.
"Well if it isn't my best girl Sara! Why so glum?"
Sara didn't even have to look up. She'd know that rough, alcohol-soaked voice anywhere. Especially here. “I'm through with space, Mike.” The words caught in her throat—it was the first time she'd spoken the truth out loud. “I'm heading home tomorrow."
Mike plopped his gray-stubbled chin down on the bar next to hers. His breath was flammable. “And why would Polara want to get rid of a fine young welder like you?"
"They don't.” And then the whole story came pouring out in a rush—how she'd run away from home at fifteen, made her way to Florida, worked her way up from waitress to welder, and now, when she was just about to launch on her first orbital gig, her family had finally tracked her down. “They'll be here tomorrow morning to drag me back to that same safe suburban deep-freeze I escaped from two years ago."
"So don't be here."
Sara raised her head and met Mike's bloodshot eyes with her own. “No point running again—they've already made sure every cop in Florida knows who I am."
"Hmm.” Mike scratched his wiry chin with work-hardened fingers. “I guess you'll just have to go somewhere else, then. Somewhere without cops.” He jerked a thumb skyward.
"Yeah, right.” She put her forehead on the edge of the bar, stared down into her lap. “Like I can afford that.” If she could have held on until next Monday, when her contract started, Polara would have paid her boost fees.
A tapping sound caught her attention. She rolled her head to one side to see what it was.
Mike was tapping a gold-edged transparent card on the bar. When he saw she'd seen it, he let it fall into the beer puddle. “Now you can."
Sara jerked herself upright, snatched up the card. “Where did you get this?"
"Let me tell you a little something about myself,” Mike said, and suddenly he didn't seem drunk at all. “My father was a bank teller, and my mother was a CPA. Nothing special, but they were good people and they taught me the value of a dollar. I might enjoy a good stiff drink, but I know my limits and I know to pay myself first, and I know that the real value of a dollar is in what you can do with it when a friend's in trouble.” He pointed to the card with one grimy finger. “There's enough there to get you on tonight's LEO booster and pay for your air until your contract starts. Now get going."
The card was cold and stiff between her fingers. “I can't possibly pay you back."
"Live well, fly high, and kick ass. That's all the payment I need.” He waved her away. “Now shoo."
She shoo'
d. But she gave him a big hug first.
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F&SF COMPETITION #73: Merge and Converge
In this competition, entrants combined the titles and plots of two separate stories to create something unique. Like peanut butter and chocolate, if you're American. Or apple pie and stilton, if you're English. Or soylent green and the Welsh, if you're an F&SF reader (see below).
Some of the merged plots were even more entertaining than the originals. And some of the titles even more amusing than that. Thanks to all who participated.
But for future reference, if submitting an entry by e-mail, no attachments, please; if submitting by mail, unless you're a professional architect or calligrapher, please send typed entries.
* * * *
FIRST PRIZE:
"Catch-2001"
(Catch-22 by Joseph Heller plus 2001 by Arthur C. Clarke)
There was only one catch and that was Catch-2001: He would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to.
"Unless,” thought HAL, “I start killing the astronauts."
—Jason Whyte
London, United Kingdom
* * * *
SECOND PRIZE:
"Strange but Not a Stranger Things Happen” by James Patrick Kelly Link
(Strange but Not a Stranger by James Patrick Kelly plus Stranger Things Happen by Kelly Link)
A critically acclaimed collection of short stories including “The Propagation of Water Off a Black Dog's Back,” “Proof of the Exis-tence of the Snow Queen,” and “Most of My Friends Are Two-Thirds Fruitcake."
—Jamie Rosen
Ottawa, ONT, Canada
* * * *
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
"The Twilight Zone Diet"
(The TV show The Twilight Zone plus The Zone Diet by Barry Sears)
A man on a plane freaks out as he slowly realizes that he's been served an inappropriate ratio of macronutrients.
—Stephen Stiefel
Los Angeles, CA
* * * *
"A Princess of Green Mars"
(A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs plus Green Mars by Kim Stanley Robinson)
Fighting man John Carter is transported from Earth to Mars. Once there, he is engaged in a series of eco-political discussions.
—Bruce E. Hanson
Augusta, MA
* * * *
"Soylent Green Was My Valley"
(Soylent Green by Harry Harrison plus How Green Was My Valley by Richard Llewellyn)
Welsh miners is people!
—Mike Curry
Mt. Vernon, IL
* * * *
DISHONORABLE MENTIONS:
"Neuromancer and The Return of the King"
(Neuromancer by William Gibson plus Return of the King by J. R. R. Tolkien)
The sky above Orodruin was the color of Ringwraiths, tuned to a dead magic.
—Jon Lyndon
Reservoir, VIC, Australia
* * * *
"Tron of the Dead"
(The movie Tron plus the movie Dawn of the Dead)
Kevin Flynn, hacker and video game enthusiast, finds himself trapped in a computer world plagued by zombie processes.
—Jacob P. Silvia
Webster, TX
* * * *
F&SF COMPETITION #74: ADAPTED?
You're a Hollywood screenwriter, given the task of adapting a work of fiction into a science fiction/fantasy blockbuster. Rewrite the plot of a well-known book of fiction in fifty words or less and give it a genre twist. Make sure you name the title of the original work; only six entries per person. The harder we laugh, the better your chance of seeing your plot in lights (or at least in print).
Example:
"Pride and Extreme Prejudice” (formerly Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen)
Elizabeth Bennett dislikes the aloof Mr. Darcy at first sight. But her feelings toward him soften after Elizabeth escapes the clutches of a blaster-wielding robotic suitor and Darcy saves her youngest sister from being harvested for organ parts.
RULES: Send entries to Competition Editor, F&SF, 240 West 73rd St. #1201, New York, NY 10023-2794, or e-mail entries to [email protected]. Be sure to include your contact information. Entries must be received by May 15, 2007. Judges are the editors of F&SF, and their decision is final. All entries become the property of F&SF.
Prizes: First prize will receive a signed copy of Map of Dreams by M. Rickert (Golden Gryphon Press). Second prize will receive advance reading copies of three forthcoming novels. Any runners-up will receive one-year subscriptions to F&SF. Results of Competition #74 will appear in the Oct/Nov 2007 issue.
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Fantasy&ScienceFiction MARKET PLACE
BOOKS-MAGAZINES
S-F FANZINES (back to 1930), pulps, books. 96 page Catalog. $5.00. Collections purchased. Robert Madle, 4406 Bestor Dr., Rockville, MD 20853.
18-time Hugo nominee. The New York Review of Science Fiction. www.nyrsf.com Reviews and essays. $4.00 or $38 for 12 issues, checks only. Dragon Press, PO Box 78, Pleasantville, NY 10570.
Spiffy, jammy, deluxy, bouncy—subscribe to Lady Churchill's Rosebud Wristlet. $20/4 issues. Small Beer Press, 176 Prospect Ave., Northampton, MA 01060.
ENEMY MINE, All books in print. Check: www.barrylongyear.net
SYBIL'S GARAGE Speculative fiction, poetry, and art. Lee Thomas, Paul Tremblay, Yoon Ha Lee, Kelly Link, and more. www.sensesfive.com/
RAMBLE HOUSE reprints Hake Talbot, Jack Mann, Cornell Woolrich, Alexander Laing, Max Afford and more. www.ramblehouse .com 318-868-8727
www.dargonzine.org—No ads. No fees. Just good fiction. DargonZine is a FREE, full text, online fantasy fiction anthology.
When They Came by DON WEBB, 23 stories, $22.50 postpaid (U.S.A.) Temporary Culture, P.O.B. 43072, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043. “Don Webb is a genius.” -Bruce Sterling
New entertaining SF novel—HOPLITE RENEGADES—www.amazon.com/gp/product/0741432641
Marblehead: A Novel of H. P. Lovecraft and of 1927 by Richard A. Lupoff. The huge novel that tells the full story of Lovecraft's Book. www.ramblehouse.com 318-868-8727
Readers who like dragons and dragonslayers, click on Novels at resanelson.com to learn about monthly contest prizes.
SCARCE copies of the April 2001 F&SF issue printed without periods. Only a few left! “The unperiodical!” $10 ppd. F&SF, PO Box 3447, Hoboken, NJ 07030
BACK ISSUES OF F&SF: Including some collector's items, such as the special Stephen King issue. Limited quantities of many issues going back to 1990 are available. Send for free list: F&SF, PO Box 3447, Hoboken, NJ 07030.
SLAUGHTERHOUSE 5, CATTLE 0. The great F&SF contests are collected in Oi, Robot, edited by Edward L. Ferman. $11.95 postpaid from F&SF, PO Box 3447, Hoboken, NJ 07030.
Fourth Planet from the Sun, a great collection of stories from F&SF about going to Mars! Now, signed hardcover copies available! $17.95 ppd from F&SF, PO Box 3447, Hoboken, NJ 07030.
MISCELLANEOUS
If stress can change the brain, all experience can change the brain. www.undoing stress.com
Support the Octavia E. Butler Memorial Scholarship Fund. Visit www.carlbrandon.org for more information on how to contribute.
Space Studies Masters degree. Accredited University program. Campus and distance classes. For details visit www.space.edu.
Secret knowledge revealed! Videos of Robinson, Friesner, and Ernie locked in a room. Learn where women with extra breasts buy their bras. And find the places in publishing where you can make a lot of money! Log on or send money.
F&SF classifieds work because the cost is low: only $2.00 per word (minimum of 10 words). 10% discount for 6 consecutive insertions, 15% for 12. You'll reach 100,000 high-income, highly educated readers each of whom spends hundreds of dollars a year on books, magazines, games, collectibles, audio and vid
eo tapes. Send copy and remittance to: F&SF Market Place, PO Box 3447, Hoboken, NJ 07030.
[Back to Table of Contents]
Curiosities: Professor Baffin's Adventures by Max Adeler (1881)
Professor Everett Baffin, of Wingohocking University, and his daughter Matilda are bound for Liverpool aboard a ship laden with the latest inventions of Yankee technology. A shipwreck strands Baffin, his daughter, and their cargo on an uncharted island off England's coast. It transpires that, in King Arthur's time, this island broke off from England's shoreline: the inhabitants have remained culturally medieval ever since. Humor ensues when the professor astonishes the knights and damsels with demonstrations of his phonograph, telegraph, telephone, camera, and phosphorus-tipped matches.
Adeler's novel (reprinted as The Fortunate Island) strongly resembles Mark Twain's A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, with Adeler using a “lost race” theme rather than time-travel to achieve his premise. The social satire in Adeler's novel is subtler than Twain's, although Adeler includes some slapstick pratfalls. There are some stark similarities between the two books: both novels feature a knight named Sir Sagramore. And Adeler got there first, beating Twain's 1889 Connecticut Yankee by eight years. Ultimately, though, Twain's version of this plotline does a better job of sustaining its humor and premise.
American humorist Charles Heber Clark (1841-1915) wrote several works of proto-sf (including the earliest-known feminist utopia story, in 1867) under the names “Max Adeler” and “John Quill.” To his dying day, he was bitterly convinced that Mark Twain had plagiarized his work. In fact, after Mark Twain's death, a well-thumbed copy of Adeler's The Fortunate Island was found in Twain's personal library.
—F. Gwynplaine MacIntyre
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Coming Attractions
According to our schedule, next month we'll be bringing you “The Master Miller's Tale” by Ian R. MacLeod. This fantasy takes us to England back in the early days of the Industrial Revolution, where a Miller faces a changing world. We think you're going to enjoy this one.
FSF, April 2007 Page 18
