by Glynis Astie
Simply the mention of fries made my stomach growl. Everyone looked at each other and tried not to laugh. We were all well aware of the age-old adage, “Never wake a sleeping baby.”
I walked over to Kate and kissed her gently on the forehead. “You’re amazing! What a beautiful daughter you have.”
She took my hand and we both stole a glimpse of Sam. “She really is beautiful, isn’t she?”
I nodded as the tears threatened to come back to my eyes. Lack of sleep not only made me stupid, but also really weepy. I had to get some sleep soon. Life was not going to make any sense until I did and I needed my brain firing on all pistons to handle the craziness going on right now. Maybe I should send Louis to the airport tomorrow to pick up my mom. They hadn’t had a proper chat in quite some time.
After Louis and I ensured Kate and Nick had been properly fed (following my incredibly satisfying French fries on the car ride over), we bid them goodnight and headed back to our apartment. I had called my boss earlier in the day to let her know Kate had given birth and asked if I could take a few days off to help out. We had already discussed my taking some time off, but the time frame had been up in the air. Babies are rather unpredictable!
Thankfully, Vivian gave me her blessing and requested I pass on her best wishes to Kate. I absolutely loved working for a company in general, and a boss in particular, who was so attuned to the importance of work-life balance. It was a concept lost on many an employer in Silicon Valley at present.
On the short drive to our apartment, Louis and I held hands contentedly. I was completely out of my mind with exhaustion, but I somehow felt more in my right mind than ever since Louis and I had talked. I marveled at how easy it had been to feel out of touch with him and vowed to keep our lines of communication open. I was bound and determined to prove to myself once and for all I had made the right choice in marrying him. As far as his choice in marrying me, well, that was all on him.
Chapter Six
The last two weeks had been a whirlwind of new baby activities. Once again, and rightfully so in this case, my wedding planning had taken the back seat on my list of priorities. My mom had been staying with Kate to help ease her transition into motherhood, so she and I had spent countless hours washing baby clothes, cooking meals, navigating the use of a breast pump (I’m still scared of those suction cups) and running to the store for whatever Kate needed. Time had quickly run out and my mom was due to return to New York and my non self-sufficient father tomorrow. Luckily, I was able to steal her away for a hasty lunch while Baby Sam and Kate took their afternoon naps.
As we pulled up to her new favorite lunch spot in Palo Alto, The Grapevine, my mom began to chuckle. I knew she hadn’t been sleeping much and had noticed she had become a little slaphappy of late. Though she was nearly brokenhearted at the idea of leaving Sam, the stress of caring for a newborn on her sixty-something (I will not put my life in jeopardy by listing her exact age!) year old body was becoming too much for her.
I smiled. “What are you laughing about?”
A few more giggles escaped her before she could answer. “It’s just nice watching your sister become a mother.”
I scrutinized her with raised eyebrows. “And this is funny how?”
She examined her hands. “This is going to sound bad.”
Now she had my attention. “What do you mean?”
My mom shrank in embarrassment. “Well…everything has come rather easily to your sister.”
I was at a loss for where this was going. “And?”
She sighed. “Being a mother is wonderful; it’s rewarding…it’s life changing. But it’s also undeniably hard.”
I was still confused. “And what, you don’t think she’ll be able to handle it?” Because the Kate I knew could handle ANYTHING. Including her bat shit crazy sister.
My mom shook her head. “No, she can handle it; your sister is very strong. But it won’t be pretty. At least not in the beginning.”
“And…this is funny?” It was really not like my mother to laugh at someone else’s difficulty, particularly one of her children’s.
She rolled her eyes at me. “No, I don’t think it’s funny. It’s good to see her in a more…human way.” She started to giggle again. “I had to help her this morning…” The giggling took over until her whole body was shaking uncontrollably. This wasn’t like my mother. She was clearly taking a page out of Louis’ book. What had he implanted in her when he picked her up at the airport?
“Uh…Mom…you’re starting to worry me.” This comment only drove her into further laughter, because, well, this is a ridiculous statement coming from me. But it doesn’t change the truth of the statement.
After a good five minutes, my mom stopped laughing and brought her gaze to meet mine. “I know your sister has always been the epitome of perfection to you. And she’s undoubtedly the most self-sufficient of my children. It’s new for her be a little vulnerable. She’s in completely unchartered territory, but she’s handling it.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Still failing to understand the big-ass giggling fit you just had.”
“Sydney Durand! I’ve always told you, profanity should be saved for a special occasion.”
I raised my eyebrows. Wondering if your mother was losing control of her faculties was an occasion for the use of profanity if I’ve ever heard one. It seems she didn’t agree.
“Can’t control it sometimes, Mom. My apologies. Please, get to the point.”
She exhaled slowly. “I found your sister nodding off this morning in her rocking chair.”
“Ha! Ha! What a laugh riot.” Was my mother really starting to lose her mind? Or maybe it was merely the lack of sleep at her age. Either way, it was quite troublesome.
She scowled at me. “Let me finish.”
I slowly rolled my eyes at her. “Be my guest.”
“She had been using the breast pump. The cup had detached from her breast and latched on to her stomach. I tried to extract it, but forgot to turn the pump off first. She woke up suddenly, screaming that her stomach was being eaten by aliens. The noise woke Sam up and they screamed together.”
I stared at my mother in horror. “This? This is what was making you laugh so hard?”
My mom had the grace to look ashamed of herself. “You should’ve seen the look on her face.”
I pondered her description for a moment and felt the corners of my mouth turn up. Picturing my perfect sister in such a ridiculous situation was kind of funny. I started to cackle and my mom joined in. As the tears of laughter streamed down my face, I thought about what terrible, awful people we were. Truly hateful, awful people. But we were also two people who’d just laughed their asses off. I made a mental note to bring my sister flowers. I felt I owed her for my current state of levity.
Over dinner that evening, Kate threw a curveball I was not expecting. (I suppose I deserved it for laughing so heartily at her expense earlier in the day.) I had just sat down with my second plate of Nick’s delicious chicken cutlets and was debating adding more pasta when my mom asked me how the wedding plans were shaping up.
“Well, thanks to you, we have the tuxedos taken care of. I’ve scheduled a tasting session at the hotel, which will include cakes, and have booked a block of rooms for out-of-town guests. I still have to plan the rehearsal dinner and the post-wedding brunch, find the wedding party gifts and book our honeymoon.” I smiled at Louis. He had told me we both really needed a honeymoon, even if all we could afford was a weekend in San Francisco. We simply needed time alone away from everything and everyone.
Kate cleared her throat. “There’s one more item you need to add to your list.”
I thought it over. “You’re right! I’d forgotten about the place cards.” Kate never forgot the details - even when she was barely getting any sleep. She really was impressive.
She shook her head. “No, I meant something else.”
I wracked my brain for details. “What else is there?” What on ear
th had I forgotten?
She seemed a little embarrassed. “Well, you didn’t forget anything. It’s…”
Nick put his hand on hers. “Kate, tell her. It’s not a big deal.”
She shook her head. “You’re a guy. You don’t know the amount of work involved. It is a big deal.”
What the hell were they talking about? It sounded pretty serious. “Um…Kate, is everything alright?” I felt my heart starting to race as I imagined the possibilities. Was there some kind of post pregnancy complication no one has told me about? Is Kate going to die? Or is it Sam? What is wrong with my perfect niece?
My eyes must have been huge as the door of crazy swung open and lit my brain up with outrageous possibilities. Kate immediately put her hand on my shoulder.
“Syd! Relax. Everyone is fine.” She cleared her throat. “I merely need a wardrobe adjustment for your wedding.”
I cocked my head to the side. I wasn’t expecting that. “I thought you liked the dress.” She had been very excited about the plum, off-the-shoulder dress I had chosen for my six bridesmaids. (Yes, I said six. We don’t have time for your skepticism right now. I’ll have to fill you in later on why I needed to have six bridesmaids.)
“I love the dress, Syd. It’s gorgeous. It’s…well…I don’t think I’ll be able to wear it.”
I wondered if my confusion registered in my face. “Did something happen, because you look great!” Kate had already dropped half of her baby weight and the wedding was still more than five months away. (It sounds insane, I know, since it had only been two weeks, but with Kate’s level of perfection, I was surprised she hadn’t left the hospital at her original weight.)
Kate stammered. “Well, I think the top will be a little tight…” She was starting to turn pink.
Louis leaned into me and whispered, “Her chest has expanded greatly due to the breastfeeding.”
Upon hearing this, I blushed what I’m sure was a deep shade of crimson. “Oh, Kate! I’m so sorry! I didn’t even think about your…endowment when we chose the dresses.” Kate had been a generous D cup pre-pregnancy; now she must be an E or an F…if such a size even existed. No wonder she was concerned. The bodice was very close fitting.
She shook her head. “Neither did I! We were planning so feverishly, and then you two ended up getting married early and my pregnancy took over…” She sighed. “I’m sorry. I know what it took to choose this dress.”
Well, I couldn’t deny her assessment. It had been a gigantic pain in the ass, since I was dealing with six different body types and skin tones and one very opinionated Maya. I cringed inwardly as I thought of starting back at square one. (Not that Maya would have much to say as I could never get her on the phone. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had set eyes on her.)
As I pondered where to start, the baby monitor Kate had next to her plate came to life with flashing lights and the sound of Sam’s cries. Nick got up from the table and kissed her on the head. “I’ll go check on her. You strategize with Syd.”
I met her eyes. “Don’t worry! We’ll figure it out. If we can’t find a dress to fit your chest and work for the other girls, we’ll keep them in the existing dress and give you a different style in a similar color.”
She grinned. “I am the matron of honor.”
I nodded. “Exactly! And that means you deserve a special dress.”
Kate seemed relieved. I felt a lot better knowing she could relax. She was barely getting four hours of sleep a night and needed as much of her brain as possible to figure out how to be a mother. She should leave the worrying about mundane wedding things to me. (I also had every intention of keeping her happy. Regular Kate was far more preferable to Pregnant Kate, otherwise known as the Dragon Lady.)
My mom helped herself to another cutlet and turned to Louis. “Since we’ve settled this matter of importance, tell us, Louis, how are your mother’s wedding plans going?”
Louis squinted. “I’m afraid I have been working at the martial arts studio so much that I have not been able to speak with her in a week.” The nine hour time difference and his lack of interest in wedding details helped to ensure they didn’t speak often. To his mother’s great dismay…she wanted to share every single detail with him.
Kate smiled at Louis. “Well, what do we know so far? The wedding will be outside, with the entire town in attendance.”
Louis laughed. “Not the entire town…well, not at the wedding ceremony. The entire town will be invited to the reception.”
My mom whistled. “I can’t even imagine how you prepare enough food for four hundred people.”
It was my turn to laugh. “Don’t forget our family. Dad and Charlie eat enough for, like, eight people.”
I had succeeded in shocking my mom. “Sydney Bennett! They certainly don’t eat that much! There’s no need to scare Louis.” When was she going to remember my last name had changed? Never mind, now is not the time. I have other points to make.
I shook my head. “Mom, you forget that a) Louis has met Dad and Charlie and b) very, very little scares him.”
Louis burst into laughter. “Your daughter knows me very well, Mrs….Lyn.” She had insisted he call her by her first name from the moment we were married. He was still having trouble adjusting. The need to respect his elders had been drilled into him from an early age.
My mom regarded me with disdain. “You would do well to show respect to your father, Sydney.” Apparently it was OK to mock my brother as much as I wanted. In all fairness, my father did join our family voluntarily when he married my mother. At the age of seven, I gained not only a father, but three grown stepsisters. Though he was my stepfather in reality, he was my real father in my heart. (I thought this earned me the right to mock him occasionally.)
Louis turned on the charm in an attempt to distract her. “You know, Lyn, one of the pre-wedding events will be a trip to one of our family’s vineyards. You absolutely have to try the newest Saint Chinian…”
I let out a small sigh of relief. My new husband certainly had the knack for charming my mother out of difficult situations. This ability will come in very handy over the course of our life together. I was pleased to notice for the first time in the past few weeks, I had a very positive outlook on the fate of my marriage. Whether or not everything had happened too quickly and whether or not we were under way too much pressure right now, I believed we were going to succeed. Ours would not be one of the marriages to end in divorce. Not if I had anything to do with it.
Chapter Seven
One of the scary things I was learning about marriage was even though things were going really well at one moment in time, this didn’t prevent them from raging out of control, barrel-assing down a huge hill and into a ditch in the next moment. (Yes, this is definitely an occasion for profanity. Besides, that particular profane word ALWAYS makes me laugh.) I was absolutely flabbergasted at the ease with which this happened.
One moment, Louis and I were comfortably enjoying our life as man and wife and the next we were snapping at each other for the smallest things. Try as I might, I couldn’t figure out what was happening. I kept thinking there had to be some sort of pattern and if I could just figure it out, I would be able to stop the insanity. (Thank you, Susan Powter, for this memorable expression from the early nineties.)
A month had passed since my mom returned to New York and it was almost the end of May. This meant Louis had been without gainful employment as a computer programmer for four months. While he enjoyed teaching Thai boxing classes, he wasn’t receiving the necessary intellectual stimulation and the level of compensation he required to satisfy himself. He was simply spinning his wheels until he could find the right opportunity.
It certainly didn’t help that our money concerns were growing by the day. I had done my best to keep our wedding expenses under control, but even the least expensive options cost a decent amount of money. As the days went by, I could see Louis’ carefully controlled personality begin to disintegrate before m
y very eyes. I felt helpless as there seemed to be no way for me to make him feel better without damaging his pride. He absolutely hated having to worry about every penny we spent and I had the very uncomfortable job of reminding him we could not afford the very expensive cheese he loved on a weekly basis. (Seriously, twenty dollars an ounce?!?)
I was hoping Louis’ job at the martial arts studio would, at a minimum, bring in enough to support his cheese habit, but several things happened at once to make this a moot point. The cost of our renter’s insurance went up substantially, the next portion of our deposit on the hotel was due and my parents had experienced a difficult few months with their store, leaving them with little ability to help with the wedding expenses. They had sunk a sizeable chunk of their retirement savings into the shop, believing the popularity of pottery painting studios would allow them to make it back (and more) within the first couple of years. Apparently, the good people of Rockland County were not willing to jump on the bandwagon of painting your own dishes and figurines. Because Rockland is really the height of sophistication…
I knew things were getting bad when I came home one evening to find Louis drinking a coffin. This is a particularly nasty cocktail composed of one shot of gin, one shot of vodka and one shot of tequila, served over ice. Yes, it’s as gross as it sounds and yes, it’s considered to be deadly by my standards. Louis hadn’t had one of these since the night we met. He told me he only drank this concoction when he was nervous or upset. As he poured himself another round of shots, I tried to prepare myself for what event had occurred to drive him to drink. Louis rarely drank, and if he did, he would choose a beer or a rum and coke, so something pretty bad must have happened to warrant this trip to the liquor cabinet.
I put my purse on the kitchen counter and carefully approached him. I slowly sat down opposite him at the dining room table and tried to smile.
