He is so sincere, honest, and raw in this moment that my heart sinks with regret. I know I made the right choice, but I really do care about him. On the outside, it looks like he has the perfect life, but he’s let me in on the inside enough to know there is nothing perfect about it.
“Casey…” I start, but I don’t even know where I’m going.
He brings his finger to my lips to stop me. “Don’t. It’s okay, Ashley. I know. I just wanted you to know”—he stops and looks up at the deep blue night sky above us—“that I’m still not over you, and I think that’s why.”
Before I can say anything, he intertwines his fingers with mine and leans his forehead down so it’s resting on mine.
“It just hurts; that’s all.”
Pull away. Stop him, I think, but I don’t do it.
“Hey, asshole.” I hear his voice, and I know. I squeeze my eyes shut to try to make it go away, to make this look different.
Knowing his voice, too, Casey instantly pulls away and puts his hands up in surrender.
I turn slowly, hoping I am wrong, and it’s not who I already know it is. However, my eyes land on Todd. He’s standing there in full pads and uniform on the other side of the fence, and standing right next to him is Rebecca. Of course. I’m sure she was more than happy to point us out. We are on the far side of the bleachers, so there is no way Todd would have seen us, but I didn’t realize we are right next to where the cheerleaders are set up.
“I told you already to back off and leave her alone,” Todd shouts from behind the fence. I know he’s already in trouble, and college scouts are here. If he comes over that fence, he will get kicked out of the game for sure. I run over to him to try to calm him down.
“It’s nothing. We were just talking,” I say as I glare at RTS, and she gives me a smirk that proves she is the reason he’s here. Just when I think I can’t hate her any more than I already do, she proves me wrong.
“Seriously, Todd. I’m sorry, man. We were just talking. That’s it. She was telling me how much she cares about you, and I was admiring her ... shirt.” Casey’s eyes land on my chest. “Nice, man.”
With that, Todd starts to climb the fence, and I brace myself for what I know is coming. Just as he’s about to make it over, he’s pulled back down by his collar and pads. “Hamilton. Get your damn head in the game!” Coach W. shouts. “Son, you are on thin ice. I wouldn’t do anything else to piss me off.”
Todd glares at Casey as he responds, “Sorry, Coach.”
“Go finish warming up.” Coach is still at volume ten, and he is as red as the other teams’ jerseys.
As Todd backs away, his eyes never leave Casey.
Once Todd is out of sight on the other side of the field, Casey smiles and gives a salute to RTS.
Unable to believe my eyes, I push him as hard as I can in the chest. “Wait, you both planned this?”
Casey gives me a wide, Cheshire cat smile and then glances at RTS who’s now standing in a semi-circle, giggling with most of the cheerleaders. Gretchen isn’t with them, and by her body language, she looks as angry as I feel.
“Nope, but I’ve gotta love a girl who has my back. Plus, I’ll do whatever it takes to help my team win the game.” He flashes me his flawless teeth as he runs his fingers back through his hair. His expression says he’s kidding, but his wall is back up, letting me know he’s done being honest about his true feelings.
“Well, this was fun, but I think Viv is waiting for you. That was her name, right?” I look back to the opposing team’s stands.
“Yeah, that’s her name. We’re not together or anything; she’s just fun when there is no one else, if you know what I mean.” He steps a little closer, but glances over at the sideline. He’s much more cautious now. I guess I was wrong; his wall came back down for a second. Then, just as quickly as it came down, it goes back up. “You going to Mark Conner’s party later?”
I swallow hard and try to hide my shock. “Are you?”
“Yeah. Conner and I go way back.”
God, does he know everyone?
“Well, I guess I’ll see you later, then,” I say with a quick smile as my heart sinks. I know this isn’t going to be good. Todd and Casey in the same place with Todd already pissed and Casey already drunk—none of this adds up to a good night.
“Don’t look so disappointed.” His fingers brush across my cheek, causing me to stiffen.
Please don’t let Todd see this.
“This will be good. Maybe Todd and I can kiss and make up.”
“Senior Todd Hamilton is coming out to attempt a forty-two yard field goal,” the announcers voice interrupts us, and I freeze.
We both turn toward the field.
I guess the first quarter is over already. That was fast.
I notice the score is seven to three; we’re winning. Johnny must have scored. My eyes land on Todd in the center of the field. I see the release, his little jump, and the ball soaring through the air. Then it flies right through the uprights, and I squeeze my eyes shut and give a silent thank you.
“Your boy is good,” Casey whispers in my ear.
Yeah, tonight is going to be trouble.
***
Half-time takes on a new meaning this year now that I’m dating someone who was actually voted on the homecoming court. Of course, all of the boys made court, and this year since they are all seniors, they can be voted king. Seeing Ryan out there with Gretchen in her homecoming dress brings a smile to my face. All of the girls who were voted on the court left to change into their dresses for the announcement of the court during half-time. The boys who are on the team have to stay in their uniforms, though, since they are in the middle of a game.
They call Ryan and Gretchen’s names. Ryan really is handsome, even when his hair is matted down with sweat from wearing his helmet. Then they introduce Brian and his partner. Brian is truly in his element. He’s egging on the crowd, trying to get louder cheers. He’s paired with Nancy, another cheerleader from Gretch’s group. I look over at Blythe who is way more invested in the announcement of court than I thought she would be.
“Look at your boyfriend,” I say playfully.
“Yeah, yeah,” she says, falling back into her usual aloof self.
“Look at yours.” She gestures back out to the field as Todd is announced.
Of course he’s paired with RTS who is hanging all over him. Although I can tell he is uncomfortable, he’s putting up a good front. I hate that they have to hold hands, but beyond the hate for her, my stomach flips over with a thousand butterflies for him. Yup, he still has that effect on me.
I love how his sweaty hair is hanging in his eyes. I love how his spandex football pants hug his butt. Seeing him in his pads and uniform will never get old. I want to jump over the fence, onto the field, and into his arms right now. Instead, he’s holding RTS’s hand. Either way, he’s mine and he looks incredible. I could sit here forever, looking at him in the middle of the field.
When the announcer takes an envelope from Principal Marks—homecoming is very official at our school—the crowd starts to quiet down to hear who won.
The announcer opens the envelope. “And it is my distinct pleasure to announce this year’s Homecoming Queen … Gretchen Parker!”
A small flutter of joy fills my stomach, and both Blythe and Shane nudge me.
“Ryan’s got this,” Shane whispers. I think he might be right since Gretch won.
“And your Homecoming King is … Ryan Taylor!”
The crowd erupts in cheers, but Gretchen squeals the loudest. It resonates through all of the speakers since she’s standing next to the man holding the microphone.
Both Todd and Brian run up to Ry and bear hug him, lifting him off the ground, while a swarm of girls surround Gretchen. They are both engulfed with people until the announcer pulls them away from the crowd. He has Ryan and Gretch stand at the top of the podium, where they both get ridiculously oversized crowns placed on their heads to enormous che
ers coming from the bleachers.
I glance down at my parents, and my mom looks so excited you would think she just won. My dad glances over at me and gives me a thumbs up.
Todd seems so genuinely happy. I know he couldn’t care less about winning. For some reason, however, RTS is still holding his hand.
God, I hate her.
***
“Tonight, we are drinking, boys,” Brian announces as we all walk into Mark Conner’s party.
His house is already packed with people since we waited for the boys to shower and meet with a few of the scouts who came to the game.
“We have a lot to celebrate,” Brian continues to shout over the noise of the party. “Notre Dame, Penn State, Bama. I mean, those are huge schools and they are interested in us.” He’s practically jumping up and down as he walks backward through the crowd. “Come on, Ryan, the Notre Dame scout was all over you. And the Penn scout was practically drooling over all of us.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Ryan says with a smile. “Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.” He pats Brian on the back, but Brain’s excitement can’t be contained.
He runs up to MC and chest bumps him while they both shout “Bama, baby!”
Ry shakes his head as he and Gretchen make their way through the crowd. They are both still wearing their crowns, and every single person we pass is congratulating them as they walk by. It’s pretty ridiculous.
On the other side of the room, I notice Casey is already here, laughing with his group of friends. Of course, Viv is practically on top of him. I feel Todd’s fingers tighten their grip on mine, letting me know he saw Casey, too.
“Here we go,” he bends down and whispers to me.
I look up at him and smile as he guides me through the crowd to the backyard. There are still a lot of people back here since this is where the keg is, but it’s a lot less crowded. Todd grabs us both drinks. I don’t usually drink, but I figure just one would be good tonight, especially for the conversation I know we are about to have from the look on Todd’s face. He’s been really quiet since we left school.
His clear blue eyes lock on mine as he sits down next to me on the ground and hands me my cup. “What was that at the game? Why were you with him?”
“I was just saying hi. He was drunk, and I didn’t think he was going to be”—Think, Ash, what is the right word?—“as close as he was.”
“Yeah, he was pretty damn close.” Todd was hiding it before, but his anger is deep and fully on the surface now. I hate that we are here again because of Casey.
“I need you to trust me.”
Someone shouts out about winning the game and everyone cheers, but Todd’s eyes are focused on me, only me.
“I do.” His lips turn up into a smile. “I don’t trust him.”
“I know.” I brush away some of the hair hanging in his eyes. It’s still damp from his shower, so it’s falling into his eyes more than usual. As my fingers glide through it, I notice the light catching the sparkles embedded in it. “Hey, did the scouts like this glitter?”
He starts to laugh. “Way to change the subject, and yes, they did.” His fingers brush my cheek and run over the EHS from this morning that is now barely visible. “You had the right idea with minimal paint. I’ve washed my hair at least five times, and it still won’t come out.” He looks down. “Probably wasn’t the best idea. Coach wants to kill us.”
“But it was fun.” Now I’m the one smiling.
He leans in closer to me. “Oh, yeah? You liked that?” His grin is full of mischief.
It’s nice to be this close to him. Even though we are surrounded by people, I feel like it’s only us as he wraps his strong arms around me, and we just sit there on the grass while I lean back into him.
The stars are bright, filling the sky. I never really notice them unless I’m with Todd.
“Penn State gave me a verbal offer tonight,” he says so softly I almost don’t hear him. I did, though. I just wish I didn’t.
Stay calm, be happy, or at least act like you’re happy.
“Wow. That’s amazing.” I squeeze my eyes shut, grateful he can’t see my face since I’m leaning against his chest.
He runs his hands down my arms, and I delight in his touch.
“Yeah? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I say too quickly, like a false reflex. “Really, I’m good. I’m happy for you.” Despite feeling tears welling up, I try to make my voice sound as normal as possible.
“I wanted to tell you first. We all had meetings with the Penn State scout. I think they are really interested in Brian and Ryan, too, as a package deal. Wouldn’t that be amazing if we all ended up at the same school, on the same team?”
“Yeah, amazing.” I continue to force my voice to sound steady, even though I’m feeling the exact opposite.
“A few scouts even asked to meet with Johnny after seeing him at state and then tonight. I guess our glitter stunt was good for something.” Todd gives a sarcastic laugh while I feel his fingers glide over the nape of my neck. I hear his voice, but he feels so far away already, like he’s not really here with me.
I glance around the party to avoid dealing with my reality, and I notice Shane and Johnny across Mark’s sprawling yard. The reflection of the moving pool water is bouncing off both of them as they talk, and it makes me think of the last time I was at a pool at night. It brings a smile to my face, even in this moment of deep distress.
Their conversation looks heated, though. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’ve never seen that look on either of their faces before. I don’t like it; however, I have my own issue at the moment.
“Ash? Ashley?” I hear Todd’s voice and zone back into our conversation. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
I turn my body to look at him, and seeing his gorgeous eyes makes me miss him even more already. I can’t believe I won’t get to see him every day.
I press my lips together to compose myself before I say anything else. I need him to believe me, or I know he won’t be able to truly enjoy this news. I run my fingers over his cheekbones. He really could be a model.
“I am, really. I’m good. I’m excited for you. I know you’re going to be amazing, and I can’t wait to watch you on TV.” I muster the most genuine smile I can.
His eyes study me before he finally smiles, too. “Well, I’ll probably be red-shirted for the first year, so you’ll have to wait for TV.” He leans in, and his lips connect with mine. “But coming to games will be fun. Then you can come see my dorm room.” His smile fills in the blanks, and I know exactly what he’s thinking.
He leans back into me as his lips connect once again with mine. The electricity that soars through me whenever we kiss never ends. His lips belong on mine. I don’t care that we are surrounded by people at this party; all I want is him.
His hands run down my back as he pulls me in closer. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder. At first, I ignore it, but then I hear his voice.
“Um, I’m really sorry to interrupt; you guys look busy.” I know this sound, and I know this is Shane on the verge of losing it.
I turn to give him a WTF look, but as soon as my eyes land on his, I know something is wrong. Todd must read him perfectly because I feel his hands drop away.
“I’ll let you guys talk,” Todd says as he gets up, giving me an understanding nod.
“Hamilton! Where is T.H.? We need him in here.” Brian comes barreling out of the French doors that lead to the backyard.
“Bri, over here,” Todd shouts back. “Looks like I’m needed inside,” he says with a smile, squeezing my shoulders then patting Shane on the back as he walks away.
“Okay, Shaney.” I pat the grass next to me.
He looks back over at Johnny who is talking to a girl that is exuding I-want-you vibes as she twirls her light brown hair.
Shane looks back at me and shakes his head. “Not here. Let’s go to the front; less people.” He holds out his hand to help me up.
TODD
“You are going down, Hamilton!” Brian shouts as he gets ready to serve. “This is a drink pong rematch. You may have won last time, but this is my night. The true winners will reign.” Brian has a huge smile on his face as he pounds his chest. He leaves the table for a second to kiss Blythe who is leaning against the wall, poised to watch the game, already amused. “I’m winning this one for my girl, our little beer wench,” Brian says as he smacks her on the butt with a grin.
Blythe has four red Solo cups lined up in front of her and a crystal pitcher filled with beer, which I’m sure Mark’s mom would not be pleased to know about.
“It’s Ryan and Todd versus me and Mark,” Brian continues.
It’s clear he is already drunk, but he’s so damn happy it’s awesome. He loves competition; it doesn’t matter the sport.
“Just for those who haven’t played before, this is drink pong, not to be confused with beer pong. Drink pong is the drinking game where you actually play ping-pong.” He glances over at Blythe with a smile. This is definitely for her benefit since we have all been playing this for years.
“When your team scores a point, the other team takes a drink. It’s a win-win. And Blythe will refill.” He gestures to the crystal pitcher brimming with beer. “First team to eleven wins.” He leans over the table and shouts, “And you pansies are going down!”
“Just serve the damn ball!” Ryan shouts back with a smile.
“Oh, yeah? You ready for this?” Brian grabs onto Mark’s shoulder and gestures between the two of them.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Ryan, who was it that won the last time?” I mock confusion.
“Oh, why yes, Todd, I believe that was us.”
I stroke my chin. “Yes, that’s right. Thanks for the reminder.” I smile at Brian and Mark.
With that, Brian serves and we all immediately go into a play-to-win zone. Ryan and I are nailing shot after shot.
“Out!” Blythe shouts as her arm gestures to Brian and Mark’s side of the table. “Drink.” She hands them their glasses. We started with the glasses half full for each shot, but I can tell she’s eased up a bit on the portions, which I appreciate. Even though we are winning, I’m definitely feeling it.
Unbreakable (Accidental Crush #3) Page 7
