“Hamilton, you might want to get a room,” I hear Brian’s sarcastic drawl in the background, and then Blythe says, “What?” She sounds as appalled as I feel, so Ryan must be explaining what happened. None of this makes us separate, though.
I feel his hands slide over my arms and move down my back before they push through my hair. My lips are starting to get raw and burn, but I can’t stop, and I know Todd feels the same way.
“Teacher,” Ryan warns as he clears his throat. Then both Ryan and Mark say, “Teacher coming,” through coughs.
Todd must register it and what will happen if we get in trouble and have our parents called, because he abruptly pulls away. We both start to straighten out our clothes, and when I look up, I see Ryan, MC, Brian, and Blythe have made a human wall around us. This single act speaks volumes, and I know they have our backs.
Mrs. French passes our group, with just a nod and a smile. Phew.
“Thanks, guys,” Todd says as he wipes his mouth and grins at me. Both of our lips are red and swollen. Man, our parents should make us break up more often—that was amazing. Wait. What am I thinking?
“You need to be more careful,” Ryan says, taking on a parental tone. He eyes me and Todd, and I see the concern. I know without him saying anything that he cares. As much as he hates us together, he doesn’t want to see us apart.
“You’re right,” Todd agrees, dead serious. Then he turns to me. “He’s right, Ash. If we get caught, and they know we’re still together …” He shakes his head. “They can’t know.”
I just nod.
“I still don’t have my phone, but you know where to meet up, right?”
“Yup,” I say with a grin.
“I don’t even want to know.” Ryan shakes his head with a smile then turns to walk away.
***
I nonchalantly walk up to the janitor’s closet and knock twice, as if this is a perfectly normal thing to do. The door instantly opens.
Two knocks is our signal; it means the coast is clear.
Todd’s hand quickly pulls me into our closet where the smell of bleach fills the air. He brushes his hands over my hair and pulls me farther into him.
“I missed you.”
“I know. Breaking up sucks,” I whisper back with a smile.
“Tell me about it.” He leans down to kiss me. “We have twenty minutes. Charlie said he’d cover for us at lunch. He doesn’t need anything in the closet since this is his lunch break, too.” I feel him wrapping my hair around his finger as he talks through the plan. “So every day at lunch, we can be alone.”
“We can take turns packing lunches,” I interject.
“Sure.” He pulls me closer. “Or we don’t have to eat.” He gives me a sly, crooked smile.
“I, personally, need to eat,” I say with a kiss at the end of each word.
“Oh, yeah?” He returns each kiss as his lips float down my neck.
“Or I’ll never make it through swim practice.” I run my fingers through his soft hair as his wisps of breath send chills through my entire body.
On my words, I feel his body tense and his kisses stop, but his head remains resting near my neck, so his breath is still caressing my skin.
“Have you talked to him?”
“No,” I say, continuing my trail of kisses. I will not allow Casey to draw a wedge between us. “And I’m not going to.”
He stops and pulls back. “Don’t tell him what happened, Ash. Let’s not tell anyone the truth. This should just be between us.”
“I wasn’t planning on it, but I’m pretty sure Ryan told everyone this morning to explain why we were mauling each other.”
His eyes are locked on mine, his hands cradling my jaw. “Yeah, I know, but I’ll talk to them. The more people who know, the better chance of word getting back to our parents. We need to act like we’re not together. It’s you and me, same as always, but people shouldn’t know. I think everyone needs to think we’re broken up. I’ll talk to Ryan and the guys. You talk to Sid, Blythe, and Shane if he knows.”
“Done.” I can’t stop kissing him. I can’t get enough. I feel like he’s going to be ripped away from me at any second. “But wait. What about Casey? Do I tell him we broke up?”
“Shit. Casey.” Todd clenches his fists at his side and then runs them back through his hair. “I guess you need to tell him, or maybe just don’t bring it up. Let him think we’re still together. Don’t say one way or another.”
My heart starts to pound at just the thought. Casey is tough to get anything past. I know he won’t stop trying to figure it out if he thinks something is up.
“Look at me, Ash.” He pulls my chin up so our eyes lock. “We can do this; just until we convince our parents they’re wrong. Remember that I love you. You. No matter what.”
“You, too. No matter what.” I step up on my tiptoes and kiss him to show him just how much. Then we hear the muffled sound of the bell ringing and know our time is up.
After Todd opens the door and peeks outside to make sure the hall is empty, he looks back to me and then drops my hand.
“Here we go.”
***
I have been dreading seeing Casey. I want to punch him myself. I know he has no idea how much trouble Todd got in after their fight or what happened, but in my heart, I blame him for everything. Now I need to try to hide all of that and act like everything is fine. I know he’s going to see right through me, though.
I am the worst liar.
My heart is slamming against my chest, and I feel like I might vomit. Good thing I didn’t eat anything for lunch today. Damn, I didn’t eat anything today at all. This practice is going to be rough.
“Here goes nothing,” I whisper to myself.
“What?” Janice asks.
Wow, I really need to stop talking to myself out loud.
I give her a fake smile. “Oh, nothing. Sorry.”
“Hey, how was homecoming? Your boyfriend is so cute.” She giggles.
Fake, fake, fake, I think to myself.
“It was great,” I say with a plastered smile as we approach Casey and the rest of the team.
This is the first time I’m laying eyes on him since the fight, and he looks pretty bad. He’s got a giant bruise across his cheekbone, a big gash across the bridge of his nose, and his lip looks like it was split open. It’s clear Todd won this one.
“What was great?” He gives me his bright white smile.
“Oh, my God. What happened to your face?” Janice shrieks. I try not to laugh at her reaction. I will be forever grateful to her for distracting him.
“What, this?” he asks innocently as his green eyes land on mine. “Just a misunderstanding, right, Ashley?” His confidence, even in defeat, is incredible. And from the way he looks at me when he says ‘misunderstanding,’ it’s as if he knows something. But he couldn’t, right?
“Were you there?” Janice whips her attention back to me.
I shrug and try to stall, but thankfully, we are interrupted by George’s shrill whistle as he calls the team over to the pool. Thank you, George.
TODD
I’m having a hard time concentrating at practice today. I can’t stop thinking of Ashley with Casey. Every time I kick the ball, I picture his face on it. I hate that he is with her right now. I hate that he gets to spend time with her out in the open, while I have to sneak around just to see her.
I’m grateful when Coach tells us to run laps. I love the feeling of my feet pounding the pavement or asphalt or whatever it is we are running on. Usually, we all run together as a team, but today I need to be alone, so I take off at full speed and keep it up.
I know Ryan knows the whole story and will cover for me. I just need to concentrate on my feet and the track, nothing else. I try to push everything else out of my head, but it keeps creeping back in, so I just run harder, faster.
I feel the sweat dripping down my back, running into my eyes. I don’t care. I slam my feet harder with each step, trying to
stamp out my dad’s voice, Casey’s face. I hate that I can’t even pick her up from practice today.
With each lap, I feel stronger. I don’t care about anything else, just running faster. I lose track of what lap I’m on, but it doesn’t matter; pushing myself is the only thing that is helping.
“Todd. Todd!” Ryan’s in front of me, running backward to get my attention, trying to get me to slow down. I’m at full speed, so he’s got to be running incredibly fast backward. He’s always been faster than me, the asshole.
“Todd, stop!” he shouts in my face.
I slow down a bit. He’s going to kill himself running backward this fast.
“I can’t!” I shout back. I need to keep going.
“Dude, just stop.” He reaches out to me. At this point, we are at a slow jog, but I need to keep going, or I’m going to have to face reality again.
Out of nowhere, Mark side tackles me, and we land on the grass in the middle of the field. Damn, that hurt.
“What the fuck? Are you trying to kill me?” I shout.
When my eyes finally focus on them, I realize they are out of uniform and have already showered.
“Shit, how long was I running?”
“An hour?” Ryan shrugs and looks at Brian and Mark who all nod in agreement.
“Coach wants to see you in his office,” Mark says as he gets up off the ground and reaches his hand out to help me up.
“You need to pull it together before you go in there,” Brian says. I know it has to be bad if Brian is telling me to pull it together.
I run my hands through my hair and feel how drenched with sweat it is. “Yeah, you’re right.” I wipe the sweat off my face with the inside of my shirt and take a deep breath. “I’m good.”
Ryan gives me a look that says he doesn’t buy it for a second. “Good luck.” He pats my shoulder pads.
When I’m finally standing outside Coach’s door, my heart won’t slow down. What could he want? Shit.
I have pulled my hand up to knock at least a hundred times, but I can’t bring myself to actually do it. I can’t afford to lose football, too.
Knowing I can’t put it off any longer, I take a deep breath and finally knock.
“Come in,” I hear from the other side of the frosted glass window.
“Todd.” A smile graces his face, causing my heart to slow for a second. “Come in and sit down, son.” He gestures to the wooden chairs lined up in front of his desk.
I’m still in pads and uniform, so it’s awkward to sit here. I should have changed and showered first. Damn.
His eyes study me for an uncomfortably long time. He threads his hands together, rests them on his desk, and takes a deep breath. “What is going on with you, son?”
“Me? I’m good, Coach. Really.”
He leans back in his chair and crosses his feet at his ankles. “Well, you see, you told me that before, and I didn’t believe you. Then you got yourself suspended for the first quarter of a game, almost kicked out of that game, now you’re sitting here with a black eye, and you were out there running a marathon. You were off at practice today. You are never off.” He leans back into his desk and threads his fingers once again. “So, you see, I have a hard time believing you when you tell me you’re fine.”
I have no words, so I shift my eyes to the floor and start to study the specs on the tile. I hope he breaks this silence soon.
“I talked to the Penn State coach. I know they gave you a verbal offer on Friday. Nothing is solid until signing day, though. You know that, right? They want you. Don’t blow this for yourself, son. I don’t care what is happening in your personal life; don’t bring it on this field.”
With that, my eyes dart up to meet his.
“Ryan told me a little of what is going on.”
I feel my fists tighten and my jaw clench. I’m going to kill him.
I can tell Coach notices, because his look softens for a second.
“He’s concerned about you, son. And I’m glad he told me. You need to talk to me. I’m tired of you telling me you’re good when I know you’re not. I’m here for you in this office, but out on that field, I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to hear it. On the field, you need to give it one hundred and ten percent, always. You can’t bring it to practice or to the games. Your focus needs to be on the game, no distractions. You hear me? Use the anger in the game, but don’t let it destroy the game.” His voice has grown to full volume, as if we are in the locker room at half time. All concern has been wiped away.
“Yes, Coach!” I shout back to match his tone.
“Hamilton, you’re a good kid. You have a bright future ahead of you, remember that. Don’t mess it up. And if you need to talk, I’m here to help. Here in this office, not on the field.”
“Right. Thanks, Coach.”
He gives me an understanding smile and nods his head. I know we are done here, but I also know he’s watching me from now on.
I still want to kill Ryan. I need to talk to him, but I don’t even know if I’m still welcome in his house, and it’s not like I have a phone to call him.
ASHLEY
I feel like I might drop right here on the pavement. We have a meet this Friday, so George is pushing us even harder.
I loved every second of my lunch with Todd in the janitor’s closet, but I really wish I had eaten something. I need to remember that tomorrow when kissing seems like the better option.
“Rough practice today, huh?” Casey’s eyes study me as he towel dries his blonde hair.
“Yeah.” I look up and smile. Pretend like nothing is going on, I keep telling myself.
“So how was homecoming?” he asks with a grin.
“Good. Great. Fine,” I say all at once.
“Okay?” His lips are smiling, but I can tell his eyes are studying me.
“George was really pushing us today, don’t ya think?” Janice interrupts us. I feel my shoulders automatically relax at the change of subject. I didn’t even realize how tense I was.
Casey’s gaze shifts before he nods his head in the direction of his gaze. “Your ride is here, Ashley.”
My heart flutters as an automatic reflex, thinking it’s Todd, but when I turn around, I remember it’s not when my eyes land on my mom.
“No lover boy today?” Casey leans in and whispers.
I squeeze my eyes shut. Thankfully, he can’t see my face.
“Nope. He’s got practice.” I try to keep my voice calm and steady. When I think I have it together, I turn back to both of them with a smile. “See you tomorrow.” Then I pivot on my heel and walk away. Point for Ashley.
I keep this calm façade up until I make it to my bedroom. As soon as I’m in the safety of my room, I fling myself across my bed and break down. How am I ever going to do this every day? I still haven’t said a word to my parents. Mom tried to carry on a conversation on the way home, but I only responded with grunts, nods, and sighs. I can’t bring myself to say actual words, or I will lose it.
Then I hear it—Todd’s voice. Now I’m hearing things, great.
But wait, there it is again. I have officially lost it, whatever “it” is. Although, I’m not sure I ever had “it” in the first place. I didn’t see his car, so he can’t really be here, right?
“I’m just pissed you told him. It’s none of his business.” I hear his voice again through the vent. Is he on speakerphone? And told who, what?
“He needed to know. You’re a mess, and he needs to know why. I didn’t want him to call your dad.”
“That would have been a good thing. Maybe they would see this is a mistake.”
“Yeah, or maybe this would prove their point.”
There is silence.
Could he be here? In Ryan’s room?
“Shit. You’re right. I just don’t want anyone to know; it’s none of their damn business.” There’s no mistaking his voice this time.
“Well, everyone needs to think you guys are broken up for this to work.”
The last part Ryan says really low, but I can still make it out.
“God, I hate this. I hate my parents. What the fuck?”
“I know, but if you don’t play along, it will be worse.”
“I know; you’re right.”
More silence.
“I think I heard Ash come home,” Ryan says. I don’t think I could love him any more than I do in this moment. “Which means my mom is home.” My love lessens a bit at that reminder.
I hear a faint knock on my door as it opens.
I quickly wipe my eyes as Ryan asks loudly, “Ash, can I come in?” I give him a huge smile as he peeks his head around and Todd sneaks in.
“What are you doing here?” I can’t hide my excitement.
“I needed to talk to Ryan.”
“I didn’t see your car, and how are you going to leave without my mom seeing you?”
“I parked down the street, and the same way you do.” He nods his head toward the window with a smile as he steps closer and cradles my face in his hands. “I’m so glad I got to see you.” Our eyes are locked on only each other.
“Okay, I’m going to go. Don’t stay too long.” Ryan smiles. We both totally forgot he was still standing in the doorway. He gives us a look and then quietly shuts the door.
Once we are alone, Todd runs his hands over my damp hair, his eyes saying everything I’m feeling. When he leans down to kiss me, his lips have never felt so perfect against mine. Not being able to have him makes me want him more.
“How was practice?” he asks through his kisses. He doesn’t say his name, but I know what he’s really asking.
“So far so good. He has no idea about us. He did ask why my mom picked me up, so I think he’s curious.”
“Good. He needs to think we’re still together. I don’t trust him if he knows we’re broken up.”
His lips float down my neck, and in the heat of the moment, I walk us over to my bed.
“I hate this,” I say as I guide him to lie down. There is so much energy flowing between us I can’t think clearly. “I just want to be with you.”
“I know. Me, too. But we need to be smart.” He positions his body on top of mine, bracing his arms on either side of me as he slowly lowers his body to meet mine while his lips brush across my lips.
Unbreakable (Accidental Crush #3) Page 12
