“It's just not a good idea. I wouldn't be good for you—when it comes to relationships, I'm not a good bet.”
Cocking her head to one side, Lexi tried to process the cool tone in his voice with the hot, drugging kisses of moments earlier. “I don't recall asking you for a relationship. I asked you to come upstairs because I wanted you, and I assumed that you wanted me to. But maybe I was wrong about that.”
“It would be a mistake. I'm just—you don't want to get tangled up with me.”
The finality of his tone was difficult to take. The fact that he kept his gaze averted from her made it even more so. It dawned on her then that maybe he hadn't really wanted her at all. She'd simply been convenient. But even convenience wasn't enough to make him look past her size.
“It already is a mistake, and for the record the it's not you it's me bit is already played out.” She didn't cry, though she wanted to. It felt like high school all over again with cruel pranks about popular boys who would never really be interested in her. Reaching for the door handle, she climbed out of the truck and this time, he made no move to stop her.
She made it up the stairs and into her apartment, but even then she refused to cry. Stalking toward her bedroom, she kicked off her heels and stripped out of her beer soaked clothes. Donning a comfortable tank top and pajama shorts, she then climbed into bed, willing the tears away.
~*~*~
Morgan sat in his truck for the longest time, watching lights come on in Lexi's apartment and then watching them go dark again. He regretted his decision and regretted he'd hurt her with it. But he wasn't a good fit for her and eventually she would realize it too. Too old, too broken and too set in his ways, Morgan didn't feel like a good fit for anyone.
Knowing that he was doing the right thing for them both did nothing to ease the ache of wanting her. Muttering a curse, he started the engine and drove toward home and another sleepless night in a lonely bed.
CHAPTER THREE
“What do you mean he just left?”
Ashley's shrill tone was making Lexi's head hurt. It was probably stress, and her high strung sister wasn’t helping with that. Holding the phone away from her ear, she waited for the litany of curses to peter out.
When Ashley finished screeching, Lexi explained it as dispassionately as possible, “He said it was a mistake, that he wasn't looking for a relationship and then he left.” It stung. She tried to tell herself it wasn't her looks, or specifically her weight, but that ugly voice in the back of her mind kept insisting otherwise.
“So, he left the bar practically salivating after you...you all make out like horny teenagers on prom night in the front seat of his truck...then he bails?”
Lexi held the cell to her ear, unlocked the door to the shop and stepped into the darkened kitchen. The shop wasn't open, but she was expecting a delivery and they didn't really factor in her desire to have Mondays off. “That sums it up.”
“Why didn't you call me yesterday?”
Spending the day in bed with a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a Lifetime movie marathon had seemed a better option. Plus, she'd wanted to stave off owning up to the humiliation of rejection for a day longer. She didn't say this out loud though. It would have sent Ashley through the roof. “Look, it's not a big deal. I'm just not his cup of tea. It happens.”
“Next time I see him, I'm giving him a piece of my mind!”
Lexi groaned…exactly what she'd been afraid of. When Ashley went into protective big sister mode it invariably made things worse. “Please, don't. I don't need you fixing this for me. It's not the first time in my life I've been rejected by a man, and it probably won't be the last. This does not require you shifting into rescue mode.”
“I'm not going into rescue mode,” she denied hotly. “I'm going into kickass mode!”
“No!” Lexi's denial rang firm. “It's humiliating enough without him thinking I went crying to you!”
“I don't like it,” Ashley grumbled, “But I won't embarrass you further.”
Lexi breathed a sigh of relief. “I have to go. I need to get things organized before the truck comes in.”
“There's a guy out there for you, Lexi. One who will think you're perfect just as you are.”
The tears she'd been fighting ever since Morgan had all but shoved her out of his truck came then. She blinked furiously, willing them away, but a few escaped anyway. “I love you, Ash. Now, I'm getting to work.”
~*~*~
Morgan stood in the workshop carefully measuring and cutting the trim pieces for Lexi's kitchen. His decision from the other night still gnawed at him, and so did his lust. He knew she was probably unaware of the fact that after she’d left his truck, he sat outside for a long while, watching her window, regretting his decision.
Biting back a curse, he fed the wood through the router, creating a perfect edge. He'd just finished, allowing the saw to go quiet, when he heard the slamming of a door. Looking up, he saw Ashley stalking toward him, looking mad enough to chew glass. “Fuck.”
His uncle, Jess, had been sitting quietly on the other side of the work shop, sanding and polishing some of the more ornate pieces of wood. He took one look at Ashley and rose, heading for the house. “You're on your own with that one, son.”
Morgan braced himself. He didn't know what the hell was going on, but he knew that look. Putting down the pieces of wood that he'd been working on, he took off his safety glasses and waited.
“You fucking asshole!”
His only response was a sigh. “Probably. What have I done, now?”
She picked up a block of wood and chucked it at him.
Luckily for him, Ashley's aim had always been terrible. He ducked to one side, ignoring the protesting muscles in his leg. “Goddamit, Ashley. Stop throwing things!”
“If you didn't want to go out with her, fine! But don't look at her like she's the hottest thing that ever walked and then reject her!”
“You don't know what's going on here and it's best if you just stay out of it.” He kept his tone cool when he spoke. It hadn't escaped him that he owed Lexi an apology and an explanation, but he just hadn't worked his way around to how do it yet. Having Ashley butting into the mix, probably wouldn’t help. “I didn't reject her.”
She all but bared her teeth at him. “You did. You took her home and then you told her you weren't interested in her and dumped her out in front of the shop and left.”
Morgan cursed under his breath. “I never said I wasn't interested in her. I said it would be a mistake for her to get involved with me and that's the truth!”
“Why? Give me one good reason why? You're single, she's single and you're not getting any damn younger!”
“It's none of your damn business!”
Ashley stamped her foot then. Literally stamped her foot like a child mid-tantrum. “The hell it isn't. She's my sister! Did you decide suddenly that she was too fat for you? Did you get embarrassed because she's not a size two?”
This sparked Morgan's own temper. “Don't say another word like that about her.”
“Like what? You think you're the first guy to look at her and get blinded by those big brown eyes and giant tits, only to have second thoughts?”
“Goddamit, Ashley, don't say another word!”
“I'm not the one she needs protecting from, Morgan! You're the one who hurt her! Because what I'm saying right now...that's what she's thinking. You did that. You!”
He ran his hands over his face in a gesture of frustration as old as time. “It had nothing to do with that. Lexi is gorgeous.”
She planted her hands on her hips. “Then tell me why? Why would you run out on her when you're obviously crazy about her?”
He threw his safety goggles, the plastic cracking against the pavement. “Because I'm too fucking old for her, because I have violent nightmares where I relive watching my friends getting blown up, because my leg is more metal than bone and some days it hurts so fucking bad I can't get out of bed... Because I've spent
more time killing people than I have living with them. I'm so covered in scars that when I take my clothes off—I don't even recognize myself. What the hell do I have to offer her?”
Ashley halted then, her eyes widening and her jaw dropping. “Oh, Morgan.”
The pity in her voice made him angrier. “I don't need you feeling sorry for me...and I sure as hell don't want Lexi feeling sorry for me.”
“I don't feel sorry for you—I'm sorry you got hurt, and I don't mean just physically. But right now, I just think you're a dumbass.”
“What?”
Ashley leaned against the work table and looked at him much the way someone would look at a dog that was too stupid to be taught tricks. “Do you think she cares about your scars? Nightmares eventually fade Morgan...Lexi has plenty of her own. Did you know that when she was thirteen she had to move in with Brent and me because our stepfather got a little too friendly? Or that when she was in high school she was the butt of so many jokes and vicious pranks that she would get physically sick before going to school?”
“Where's your stepfather?”
“You don't need to kill him. He died of a heart attack outside a strip club in Nashville...The point is, you're not the only one who has a past and has demons. And right now, Lexi's demons aren't telling her that you've got issues. They're telling her you didn't find her attractive for the same reason those vicious fucks in high school didn't...because she's the fat girl.”
“That's not it. That's not it at all. She's perfect.”
“Then tell her. Go tell her that, and stop being a fucking martyr and making you both miserable...It's better to regret a relationship not working than to regret it never starting.” With that parting shot, Ashley rose to her full but still diminutive height and sauntered off.
Morgan watched her go, her words ringing in his head. It had never occurred to him that Lexi would ever believe his retreat had been about anything but him. “God, I'm an asshole.”
“You got that right, son.”
Morgan glanced up to see Jess standing in the doorway. “You want to take your pound of flesh, too?”
Jess shook his head sadly, before pushing his cap back on his head. “First off, you're an idiot. I love you. Couldn't love you anymore if you were my own son...but there's not a woman alive who doesn't think it's about her looks when a man leaves her or turns her down. I reckon you get a pass on that, being as how you haven't been around 'em that much the last twenty years.”
“There were women in the military.”
“No. There were soldiers who happened to be female. Doesn't matter if you're male or female, the military changes how you look at things. Realigns your priorities...They did it to me before Vietnam, and they did it to you. Sometimes, it takes a while to get your thinking right when you're amongst civilians again. Sometimes, it never gets right, and you can't afford to wait around for that. Go buy that girl some flowers and convince her to make babies with you.”
“Do you think I can take her on a date before we decide that?”
Jess laughed. “You can try.
CHAPTER FOUR
Lexi stared at the crates of supplies and shook her head. The new deliveryman had simply wheeled all the stuff in and dumped it in the middle of her kitchen. Lugging fifty pound tubs of flour and sugar wasn’t how she’d planned to spend her morning. With a sigh, she opened the door to the small closet that was her pantry and pulled out the hand truck. It would help somewhat.
Normally, work didn't bother her. She loved her shop, but her mood and her bruised ego were making enthusiasm hard to muster. She’d just shifted the first load from the kitchen to the narrow pantry when she heard the door open. Struggling to hoist one of the tubs onto the metal shelving, she called out that she’d be just a minute.
“What the hell are you doing?”
The weight of the tub was instantly gone, a pair of strong arms coming around her and shoving it onto the shelf with apparent ease. Turning, she found herself staring into Morgan Donnelly’s green eyes, their faces only inches apart. Not for the first time, she wished she were taller, but the impetus for that now wasn't the desire to be closer to his too-perfect lips framed so beautifully by dark stubble, but because having to look up at him only pissed her off more.
All the reasons for feeling angry came flooding back into her mind. Stepping back, she leveled a cool stare at him, one eyebrow cocked and her best bitch face on. “Not that it's any of your business, but the new delivery man screwed up.” Her voice sounded a little breathless and shaky even to her own ears and only part of that had to do with exertion. He was responsible for a good bit of it.
“I’ll help you with the rest of us this, but you need to call the supplier and complain.”
Lexi pasted a sweet saccharine smile on her face. “Thank you so much for telling me how to run my business. Any other words of wisdom you’d like to impart right now?”
His jaw firmed, his eyes flashing. “I'm not telling you how to run your business. I'm just going on what I know about you..You're too damn nice for your own good.”
“Fat chicks have to cultivate a pleasing personality,” she shot back bitterly.
His lips firmed. “Lexi, don't say things like that.”
“It's true. I'm fat. It didn't escape my notice—and I don't even care anymore. I could starve myself and I'll never be thin. What really bugs me is that for a split second, I allowed myself to believe it didn't matter to you either.”
Morgan didn't respond, just stared at her for a moment, his jaw firmed and his lips pressed into a hard line.
Lexi wished she could call back the words. Admitting that to him had been a moment of weakness and her pride was already hurting for it.
The back door to the shop opened and the deliveryman called out. “I’m leaving the invoice by the door!”
Fear prompted her to move. Lexi dove past him for the pantry door, but it was too late. The vacuum created by the closing of the back door caused the pantry door to slam shut, and the broken doorknob on the inside left them completely trapped. “Oh, hell...I don’t suppose you have a screwdriver with you?”
“In my truck. Outside. Where it does not a damn bit of a good.”
Lexi gazed back at him. He didn’t look angry, but there was a tight note in his voice that left her puzzled. Of course, they were hardly on the best of terms and were now locked in a small room, four feet by eight feet. That was enough to make some people nervous. He'd also made it abundantly clear that he wanted to keep his distance from her. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she sighed. “I’ll text Ashley. She can come over and let us out...if I can get a signal.”
Holding the phone up, she managed to get one bar. Hoping it would be enough, she quickly tapped in the message and hit send. “For what it's worth, I'm sorry you're stuck in here with me. You've made it abundantly clear that you'd rather be anywhere else.”
“Goddamit, Lexi. It's not like that!”
“Well, you could have fooled me,” she shot back.
With tempers flaring and trapped in such close quarters, it was impossible not to touch. She could feel his body heat and she could smell him. A hint of cologne, wood and just him—it was an intoxicating combination.
Staring at the wall, her lips pursed in anger, Lexi tried to ignore his presence, but he wasn't helping. She could feel his gaze on her, Lexi peered up at him. The expression on his face was puzzling. “What?”
“To hell with it!”
She’d no clue what he meant by that, and no chance to ask questions. He grasped her wrists, hauled her against his chest and then his lips were on hers. Lexi couldn’t think, could barely breathe. All she could do was feel. His chest pressed hard against her, his arms tight around her, and the heat of his mouth was pure bliss.
~*~*~
Morgan hadn’t intended to kiss her, but then he hadn’t intended to be locked in a closet and arguing with her either. His good intentions for a heartfelt and sincere apology fled in the face of her proxim
ity and the temptation of her lips.
He just couldn’t resist the urge, especially when fate and her crazy sister were throwing them together at every turn. So, with a muttered curse, he pulled her to him, and did what he’d wanted to from the first moment he laid eyes on her.
Feeling her breasts crushed against his chest along with the soft sigh as his lips settled on hers, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. He might have initiated the kiss, but he wasn’t in control of it. Neither was she. From the second his lips touched hers, it took on a life of its own.
Sweeping his tongue between her lips, her mouth was simply the sweetest thing he’d ever tasted. Like any man who’d been starving, he gorged himself on her. Licking, biting, nipping at her lips, he pressed her against the door. The softness of her body against his equal parts became torment and pleasure.
When she moaned, the sound low and intensely erotic, he left her mouth, pressing hot kisses against velvety skin. His lips coasted over her throat, his teeth grazing sensitive flesh.
Her hands clutched at his shoulders as her hips moved against him. He wanted her in a bed. Naked. He wanted to be balls deep in her and feeling her come around him. The need became so fierce it twisted inside him like a knife.
Tugging at the hem of her shirt, he slid his hands beneath the fabric, over the satin skin of her belly and up to the lush mounds of her breasts. Her nipples were hard points against his palms as he cupped them, kneading them gently. His cock, already painfully hard, throbbed.
Then her hands were roving down his back, to cup his ass, tugging him closer.
“There isn’t enough room in here to do what I want with you,” he murmured.
“Get creative,” she urged, a wicked grin curving her kiss-swollen lips.
If he’d any blood in his body flowing towards his brain, that would have changed the direction. He needed to be inside her. He needed that like he needed air. Turning her so that she faced the door, he stroked the lush curves of her bottom, reaching for the hem of the skirt she wore.
The Seraphina Donavan Collection: Contemporary Page 3
