by Theresa Weir
Finally, he was spooning against her again, his hard-on that had softened getting stiff again.
He shifted closer to her. It was a sweet torture. As sweet as she was. Nothing like…
His breath stopped. Olivia. Nothing like Olivia.
He breathed again. Olivia, whom he hadn’t thought about all day.
Still holding Maddie, he closed his eyes and pictured his dark queen, in all her glamorous beauty. She was probably on a set in Canada today. Laughing with her fellow cast members about the American Thanksgiving traditions. Mocking them. She might eat a little turkey, but there would be no pie for her size-two figure. At night, she would go to her soon-to-be husband wearing one of her many short, silky robes. Near the bed, she would untie the matching silken belt then shrug out of the robe, letting it fall to the floor for the maid to pick up in the morning.
And then she would climb into bed and allow her very wealthy and very besotted fiancé to worship her perfect body.
He closed his eyes tighter, the cloying darkness returning. Pushing his nose against the back of Maddie’s hair, he breathed in deeply, smelling her hair, her skin, forcing himself to think of Maddie not Olivia, to remember the stories she’d told him, the people she’d helped, her tenderness with her son and her cat.
His tension eased. Slowly he drifted into sleep, thoughts of Maddie keeping away the gloom.
* * *
Dog had been banished overnight to the barn where the heat from the cows kept him and his water from freezing. The woman had said, in a hard voice, that she didn’t want him in the house tonight. “Guests” were coming. Dog wasn’t sure what “guests” were, but wonderful smells escaped out of the house and traveled on the cold air into the barn to him, drifting through the scents of the cows and their wastes.
He stuck his nose out of a crack between two pieces of wood to smell the food better, even though he couldn’t eat any of it. The woman would never let him. And if the girl gave him food, her mother would yell at her, so it was better if she didn’t.
But as he sniffed, he caught a whiff of something else.
Him. His human.
The hurt filled him, so he wasn’t hungry anymore, the hurt too raw and too big.
He needed the human, and the human needed him. There was a hole inside him, and once he and the human were together, the hole would fill up and go away.
Dog didn’t know how he knew this, he just knew and didn’t question. The human and he were supposed to be together, but something bad had happened, some disconnect, and they’d missed each other.
And now he was locked in this barn and couldn’t get to him.
And more than that, the girl needed him badly. He had to stay with her.
He did the only thing he could do. Pulled his nose in, lifted his head, and howled out his heartbreak.
Other howls and barks returned to him on the cold air. Other dogs who were out in the cold. At least he was in the barn. But instead of comforting him, it just hurt more.
Chapter 17
A mreow and a furry mouth rubbing against her jaw woke Maddie up. Her eyelids snapped open. Weak rays of sunlight seeped in through the window, and she knew just where she was and what the rod pushing against her left buttock was.
She jerked away from it and from him. Ginger jumped off the bed, and Maddie followed her, her moves much clumsier. When she peered over her shoulder, she saw Logan had turned onto his back and was gazing up at her. His mouth was set, and she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Not with his brain, at least.
“Do you always wake up like that?” she asked.
“So handsome?” His right eyebrow rose, and he crossed his hands beneath the back of his head.
“So ready.” She let her gaze travel down his body. He had a cover over him—a good idea since it was literally freezing out, and the insulation in the old house wasn’t the best. But she let her eyes linger on the elevation below his waist. “Do you always wake up like that?”
“Always. And good morning to you, too.”
She turned away from him. Some things it was better not to discuss with a man.
Ginger was already padding away, and she hurried downstairs after her. Zach should still be sleeping, and if she—
“Mom!” Zach looked up at her from the bottom of the stairway. “Are you upstairs with Logan? I woke up and couldn’t find you.”
“Um, I went upstairs to find Ginger.”
He frowned, and she froze. Then he nodded. “Can we go to the hill today and ski?”
“Uh, sure.” She worried about him on the ski hill, but she wouldn’t let her fear hold him back. She made sure he wore a helmet and stayed with the younger kids, then tried to act like she wasn’t a crazy, helicopter mom.
Today would be worse than usual. By now, she suspected the board members were leaking their version to their relatives, neighbors, and friends. Putting themselves in a good light and showing her as jealous and bitter.
The thought made her feel sick. Partially because there was some truth in it. She’d convinced herself that they liked her and wouldn’t betray her. That her ex and her mother weren’t the norm, they were the exceptions.
Now she was learning that the exceptions were her sister and Caroline…and one more. Logan. The man she’d thought would be least likely to stand by her.
She smiled determinedly at Zach. She wasn’t going to hide away from any gossip as if she were at fault. Instead, she was going to march in with her head held high. “Let me shower and change then I’ll get you breakfast, okay, sweetie?”
“Can I watch TV?”
She nodded. Whatever happened, Zach came first. In the end, he was the one that mattered. Not her hurt feelings, not her dented ego. Whatever she decided to do about the situation would come down to deciding what was best for Zach.
* * *
Logan looked down at the three words on his phone:
I need you.
His heart pounding fast and his hands numb, he headed to the window, the cell phone in his hand, and stared out at the bare branches of the treetops. Someone must have taught Olivia how to text. Maybe her fiancé.
The phone trilled, and he looked down at it again. Call me. I need you.
I needed you, he thought. And where were you?
But he knew the answer to that question.
With another man.
On an impulse, he unlocked the window and pushed it up, slowly, because it wanted to stick. Then there was a storm window to open, too. He started on it, the need to throw out the damn phone compelling him on. But as he tugged on the damn metal tabs at the bottom of the old windows, he remembered he couldn’t do it.
This was the number he’d given the investigator he’d hired to find out the dirt on Duane.
He needed the phone for Maddie.
And how dramatic was he to need to throw the phone out the window into the snow? Like a damn diva.
He’d accused Maddie of being afraid of rejection, but look how he was acting.
His jaws clamped, he turned off the phone then set it on the dresser. He even remembered to close the window before heading downstairs for breakfast.
He was getting so domesticated it wasn’t funny.
He ran down the stairs. In a short time, he’d be out of here. He’d stay through Christmas, and then he’d leave and put the house up for sale.
Or maybe he’d let Maddie stay here. It would mean nothing to him. He didn’t belong here, and she did.
And if she was pregnant…
He reached the bottom and put that thought out of his mind. If she was, he would deal with it then.
Chapter 18
During the next week, Maddie felt as if she had a target on her back. Instead of dying down during the second week, the fallout got worse. While shopping during her lunch hour on the second Friday, she heard whispers, felt pointed stares, and saw lopsided pity smiles. In the grocery store coffee aisle, Ruth Johnson patted her on the head as if she were a hurt puppy. In the cereal
aisle, she hurried away from Arnie Johnson, who was lifting his hand to pat her, too. And she was pretty sure Arnie’s landing target wasn’t her head.
Like the Bonnie Raitt song said, people were talking—and she suspected some of them were tweeting and Facebooking, too.
To assuage her nerves, she picked up a bag of dark chocolate truffles. Back in the town hall office, she gave Caroline her requested package of ginger tea. Caroline thanked her profusely, telling her how the tea helped her digestion—a subject Maddie tried to avoid. When Maddie took out the bag of truffles, Caroline’s eyebrows shot up.
“What happened? Someone said something, right?”
“The news is out,” Maddie said.
“I didn’t say anything. I bet it was Helen.”
“My money’s on George.” Maddie unwrapped a truffle. “He’ll want to twist it to put himself in the most sympathetic light. And he and Duane have tons of relatives who live around here.”
“Sure, they do, but how many of them like George and Duane?”
“You know them better than I do.”
“George and Duane aren’t favorites around here.” Caroline rubbed the pads of her thumb and middle finger together to show there was money involved. “The only kindnesses they do are for themselves. Not like you. You’ve got more friends in this town than they do.”
“Blood is still thicker.”
“If you’re a vampire.”
Maddie laughed, but she heard the bitter notes in it. If her laughter was chocolate, she’d spit it out.
“Hey, it’s not all bad.” Caroline headed to the hot water carafe to pour herself a cup to dip her tea bag into. “What about all the dates you’ve lined up?”
Taking the chair on the other side of Caroline’s desk, Maddie slumped into it. Since her work was cut in half, she’d had a lot of time to spend online this week, looking at cat pictures and checking for matches.
It was more fun looking at cat pictures. They were cuter than the men, and she was pretty sure they weren’t Photoshopped.
“I haven’t accepted any yet.”
“You should. The inventor sounds interesting. Eighty-nine patents! You never know, one of them might come through, and you could be married to a billionaire.”
“That wasn’t on my list of must-haves.”
“Put it on. If you can’t use the money, you can send some my way. I always dreamed of a trip to Paris.” She sighed and gazed out of the window. After her husband had died, she’d used his life insurance policy and the money she got from selling their house on Angel Lake to put her two children through college.
“If I marry a billionaire,” Maddie said, “even a millionaire, I’ll send you to Paris. First class all the way.”
Caroline crossed back to Maddie’s desk, her cheeks pushed up in a giant smile. “And I’ll take that trip.”
They both laughed, and the light seemed brighter in the office than a moment ago.
“If you didn’t like the sound of the inventor,” Caroline said, sitting in her chair, “what about the IT guy from Minnesota? Just think, if you have a problem with your computer, he could fix it.”
“Hard to pass up a guy like that.”
“I know. And he’s a dad, too. Divorced.”
“That’s what they all say.”
Caroline opened her eyes wide in mock surprise. “You mean they might be lying?” She grinned. “My favorite is the trumpet player in Madison. At least you know he looks like his picture. He was really cute on that YouTube video. And when he’s not playing for the orchestra, he likes jazz. You know that’s my favorite music.”
“Why don’t I juggle all three of them? The inventor in case he gets rich, so I can send you to Paris. The IT guy to take care of your computer. And the trumpet player so you can drool over his looks and his music.”
“Sounds like a great plan to me.”
“I think you were a cat in another life,” Maddie said. “Somehow God put you into a woman’s body by mistake.”
“I’ve often thought the same thing. Who wouldn’t rather be a cat than a woman? Just think, you let people worship you, pet you, and take care of you, and if you don’t like what they do, you scratch and bite them.” Caroline leaned forward. “Why make the three men wait? Is it because of Logan?”
“Not the way you think.” She frowned at her chocolate. She doubted Caroline would guess she was careless enough to have had unprotected sex and might be pregnant.
What the hell had she been thinking?
Oh, right, she hadn’t been thinking.
“I have to tell Logan a story every night, remember?” she said. “I have to be home for that.”
“You can record your stories for him. He doesn’t need you in the same room. I’m sure if you ask, he’ll give you a night off. He doesn’t seem like a demanding Hollywood guy at all.” Her voice ended with a high note of surprise.
“Doesn’t matter. My life is in flux right now, and it’s probably not a good time to date.” That was the truth in too many ways. “Instead of looking for a date, I should spend all my time looking for a job.”
“This is a bad time to look for employment, just before Christmas. Did you hear back about the job in Ohio?”
Maddie shook her head. When she hadn’t been looking for men, she’d been emailing resumes. She hated to be too far from her sister’s family, but she might not have a choice.
“Damn these board members.” Caroline’s face tightened into an angry cat fierceness. “They’ve been on it so long, they think they can do anything they please. It’s been the same members for twelve years now, and Patty and Victor have been on it for twenty years.”
“I’ve only been here for five years.” Maddie tried to smile, but her mouth wouldn’t cooperate. “No wonder they feel they don’t owe me anything. To them, I’m a newcomer.”
“You sure you’re not going to sue? You have grounds.”
“Don’t tell them, because I hope they’re squirming, but I’m pretty sure I won’t.”
Caroline put her elbow on the desktop and tapped her thin upper lip with her index finger. “I might see what I can do.”
Maddie leaned over the desk and hugged her, unshed tears clogging her throat. Then she picked up her bag of truffles and headed to her own office. She actually had work to do before the day’s end. And besides, all she could think of was the pregnancy test she was going to take tomorrow morning.
* * *
Logan had never thought his life might be changed by the results of a pee test. But here he was, up a good hour earlier than usual, hovering in the downstairs hallway with Zach, who gazed up at him, his head tilted.
“Is the upstairs toilet broke?” Zach asked.
Logan heard a flush from inside the bathroom. He’d read the instructions on the box, which said she had to wait a few minutes to see the results. He wasn’t sure why he was anxious. He didn’t know why he hadn’t used a condom, either. First time that had ever happened. Even with Olivia, he’d never once forgotten.
But with Olivia, sex had been a game. They’d both used it to see who would win.
With Maddie, it was…something else. Tenderness and passion. He hadn’t been thinking with his brains. His body had been in control.
But that was a lie. Something else had been in control.
His emotions.
He frowned. Now he understood why this bothered him. Emotions were impractical. Not like his addiction to Olivia. He understood that. His addiction had come out of the force of her power and her beauty, the danger that she might drop him any second for someone new…. The combination created an adrenaline rush he couldn’t resist.
But he couldn’t think of that now. Not with the small boy waiting for his answer.
“It’s working,” he said finally. “But I’m in no rush.”
“Sometimes Mom takes a long time.”
“She’s a woman. That’s what they do.”
“Because they don’t have a penis?”
A
noise coming from the bathroom sounded suspiciously like a growl.
“Could be. They have to pull down their pants, and that’s an extra step.”
Zach nodded, and another sound came, this one a clear “argh.”
Logan bent to the same height as the four-year-old. “I think your mom doesn’t like us talking about this.”
Zach laughed, the sound clear and pure, like a church bell ringing. As Logan watched Zach’s laughing face, something inside him opened up, and he thought he would like a child. Especially if Maddie was the child’s mother. She was good at it, the way she was good at telling stories and making him forget he was supposed to be miserable.
The toilet flushed again, a sound of finality. He snapped up, his muscles tense again, and Zach frowned, obviously feeling his nerves.
Water rushed from the faucet next.
He leaned against the wall. Next to him, Zach copied his stance. Logan glanced down at him. If Zach had chosen him as a role model, he’d picked the wrong man. He was a selfish man and wouldn’t be around long enough to help nurture him or any child.
At least he could support his child. She wouldn’t have to worry about money. He was thirty-three, with no ties, and—
The door opened; she stepped out. He pushed away from the wall, not saying anything. She shook her head. A no.
A smile that looked painful formed on her face, and she bent down and picked up Zach, twirling him in the small hallway. Zach’s laughter rang out, and Logan stepped sideways, steering clear of Zach’s feet.
She slowed to a stop, still holding her laughing son, her back to Logan. She glanced over her shoulder at him. “I’m making oatmeal. Steel cut. I soaked it overnight, so it won’t take long to make. Do you want some?”
He nodded, not opening his mouth, unable to speak, not sure what would come out of his mouth if he tried. She set Zach down, and they headed to the kitchen, hand in hand, Zach telling her that Logan had been waiting a long time to use the bathroom.
