by Sarah Beth
She stood on the stone yard, watching his truck drive away from the glade. She stood there until she couldn’t see the lights anymore, but even then she couldn’t bring herself to move.
“True Mates aren’t a Faye construct, but interesting things, aren’t they?”
She didn’t turn to look at the Faye behind her, “It feels like I’m being pulled after him. Like if I move I’ll suddenly be pulled off my feet and across the water.” With clenched fists and a deep breath, she turned from the water and looked at the Faye, “I’ve been trying to deny these feelings and yet I can’t seem to muster the energy anymore. Will that ever go away?”
He shrugged one shoulder gently, “They say it gets worse in many ways but also better. Once the Mating is complete, you will know where your mate is at all times. It will lessen the feeling of needing to be beside them, but then it will also be more of a need than it is now.”
She raised her eyebrows at him and he chuckled, actually chuckled, his shoulder moving slightly with the force of it. She found she liked his laugh, it sounded like music.
“I know, that probably doesn’t make sense now. But it will.”
She glanced back over her shoulder, even though she knew she couldn’t see the truck any more. It was like she just had to look one more time. Never, in her eighteen years, had Abby ever felt so utterly attached to anyone. Sure, she had dated guys in high school, but nothing had ever felt like this. It was like they were two planets, minding their own business in the galaxy until one day, suddenly, they’re thrusted into each other’s orbit and gravity pulls them closer every second. She hadn’t allowed herself the time to think about it, really. It was jarring.
“Eternity if an awfully long time to spend alone, child.”
With another deep breath, she walked back to the porch where Lord Elazar stood. He nodded briefly as she approached him, “Let’s get started then.”
Chapter Nineteen
❖
Abby
They walked down a hallway, vines covered the walls and reached up to the ceiling, before coming upon a room larger than the meeting room. Its ceilings must have been twice as high as anywhere else in the house, at least to Abby’s knowledge so far. The shape was odd — a tiered octagon, steps leading down into the center of the room. How it fit into the main structure of the house, she didn’t know.
More magic, clearly.
The floor in the middle was littered with cushions of every size, and she noticed a fountain bubbling in the one corner. Vegetation and flowers grew on the border of the room, growing high, as if to reach the light streaming in from above. When she looked up, she was surprised to see that it didn’t have a roof at all. She saw the blue sky clearly, puffy white clouds dotting it here and there. “I come here to meditate. It’s my favorite room in the house, if I had to pick one.”
She looked at him and nodded, glancing around again, “I can see why. I don’t think I’d ever want to leave.” It was as inviting and cozy as any room could be. She thought she could find herself with a stack of books in the room any day.
“Good, because you’ll be spending a lot of time in here.” He nodded towards the lower part of the floor, “Get comfortable. We’re going to practice meditating.”
She looked at him like he had ten heads, her brows pulled together tightly. “Seriously? I tried meditating, it didn’t work.”
The old Faye raised a perfectly shaped brow, “Were you expecting some sort of fancy spell? Waving a wand around in the air for good measure?” He looked at her as if she was a little bug worth squashing.
She was about to say that no, she hadn’t actually expected to need a wand, when he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You are shining like a beacon to any spirits in the near vicinity. You have no cap on your power, no off switch. In order to shut out the spirits, and only speak to them when you want to, you have to work on your mind. Build walls around your power, only allowing it out when you have use of it. Just because you tried meditation once means nothing.” He sighed again, raising his hand palm up in her direction, “Your power is there, Abigail, inside of you. It always has been. We just need to unlock it so you can control it.” He looked at her expectantly before waving his hand in the direction of the cushions on the floor. “Sit, clear your mind. Only when you have gotten rid of all of the distractions in your head can you truly begin to see your power. See it and control it.”
She looked at him for a moment longer, before letting a quick breath out of her nose. Well, she didn’t exactly have any other option at the moment. Walking over to a big blue cushion near the center of the room, she sat herself cross-legged. Resting her hands in her lap, she tried to do as he instructed. That was what you were supposed to do when meditating, right? Sit cross legged and spine straight. At least that’s what she’d seen in the YouTube videos she watched.
There was a reason why she had given up on meditation — it was hard. Every time she tried hard to not think of anything, she realized she was still thinking by trying not to think of anything. And then other little thoughts would pop into her head. How she had always felt different. How all of those times growing up, thinking she saw things in the shadows, but playing them off as tricks of the light. How Wesley’s eyes warmed when he looked at her. How Alex’s home made her feel safe and like she belonged. How she was currently sitting in a Faye’s house, trying to meditate.
“You’re thinking too much.”
She groaned as she opened her eyes, “It’s kind of hard not to! That’s what the brain does, it thinks.”
He hadn’t moved from his place by the door, but now he moved gracefully down the steps and to a cushion in front of her. He sat down, his cool eyes meeting hers. She expected to see annoyance in them, since he had been rather annoyed since she arrived. But instead she found understanding.
Her shoulders sagged. “It didn’t work the last time I tried it. Why should it work now?”
He hummed and rested his hands in his lap. “Do you know why I sent your Mate away?”
She tried very hard to not roll her eyes at him. “Because he’s a distraction.” She still couldn’t decide how she felt when someone called Wesley her “Mate” — regardless of the conversation they had shared before he left. Being away from him both helped and made the emotions and feelings boiling in her head worse. She wished she could talk to Alex about it or maybe Tori. Except Tori would probably never let her live it down.
He nodded his head minutely. “And yet you are still thinking of him. Why is that?”
Looking down at her lap, she didn’t know what to say. Wesley had crept into her every thought since they met, without her even realizing it. He was the first thing she thought of upon waking and the last thing she saw in her mind before she drifted off to sleep. She looked back at her teacher, his eyes shone in a way they hadn’t been before. “Because I keep pushing him away. And I don’t want to.” As she said it, she realized that it was the truth. No matter that they had only known each other for three days — every cell in her body told her that he was it. He was everything and anything she could ever need.
He was the light that she had been searching for her entire life. There to illuminate her darkness. Her fears were the only thing keeping her from him, just like her fears were stopping her now. Her fears of never being good enough; of learning who she really is and not meeting expectations. She’s supposed to be this powerful witch, half-Faye, and yet she didn’t feel any different than she had a week ago.
Lord Elazar’s lips pulled into a small smile. She wondered how often he smiled, living all on his own. He said that eternity was a long time to spend alone. Eternity. What was it like living a thousand years or more? She wanted to ask, but guessed it would shut him down on her again. Someday though, she would ask him. Maybe she would ask Alex how it felt to live longer than one lifetime. Her thoughts were drifting again, back to the house and wondering what Wesley was doing. Probably pacing a hole in the floor after being sent away from her
like that.
“Abigail.”
She refocused on his face, sitting up a bit straighter and pushing her shoulders back as she did it.
He nodded approvingly, “Try again.”
Taking a deep breath once more, she settled herself into the pillow beneath her and shut her eyes. It took a few minutes of fighting her thoughts back, but then a thought of Wesley’s kind eyes came into her mind and she smiled. Everything else began to fade away. All that was left was those crystal blue eyes. The worries of the last few days diminished to nothing. The dangers that surrounded her waking hours gone. A warmth began to bloom in her chest, filling her body. It spread from her heart, to her fingers and toes. The picture of Wesley in her mind began to sparkle and glow.
She wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting there, it could have been minutes or hours — time didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered were the eyes looking at her and the warmth spreading through her entire body. A sun burning inside her, just under her heart and lungs.Understanding flooded her. Of why everyone kept saying she had this great power inside her. For the first time she could feel it. It spread from her center and filled every inch of her body, down to the ends of her hair. A voice started to come through the peace. Softly at first before getting a bit louder and harder to ignore. She tried to ignore it for a time, not ready to leave her place of solitude. But finally, with a slight sigh, she bid farewell to her safe refuge and opened her eyes. Lord Elazar was standing before her, his hands clasped behind his back. She noticed briefly that candles had appeared around the room — whether they had been there before and had gone unnoticed, she wasn’t sure. Everything around her still felt foggy, her head light. Like she had just woken up from a deep sleep. Or as if she stood up too fast for her senses to prepare, leaving her unbalanced. Regarding the Faye, he wore a strange expression on his face. One she wasn’t sure what it meant, and also left her thinking she probably didn’t want to know.
Without moving a muscle, he said. “Light the candles.”
She looked at him strangely for a moment, her head cocked to the side like a dog’s, before looking down at a candle inches from her right knee. Still feeling so calm and warm, Abby looked at the flameless wick. In the blink of an eye, it burned to life.
As she stared at the flame of the candle, she was unaware that every other candle in the room lit at the same moment. Dozens of flames now shone brightly in the dim room, casting shadows on the stone floor. The warmth in her body was almost too much, like it would burn her alive from the inside out. But then she also knew that it never would — it was her safety, her asylum. Movement in front of her broke her trance, and she looked back up at the Faye. He had turned around to look at the room, and she became aware of the rest of lit candles.
His voice was soft when he spoke, softer than she had ever heard it before. Gone was the strong and icy tone, what was left was almost hollow. “I haven’t seen raw power like that in centuries.”
The peace she had been holding onto was beginning to fade, the warmth in her body dimming. But it was still there, in her core, if she felt for it. It was like a burning ember in her chest that would glow brightly when she called upon it. She realized that it had always been there, deep inside her, she had just never known about it. Had never felt for it or called upon it. But she knew, without a doubt, that it had never abandoned her, that it had just been locked away. And she had just freed it.
Lord Elazar turned back to face her and she swore she could see unshed tears in his eyes. Without a word to her, he left the room. A breeze trailed behind him that blew out all of the candles, except the one by her knee. She sat there and watched him go, felt the temperature of the room drop when the candles were extinguished. She knew she should go after him, but she couldn’t bring herself to move just yet. Like the simple act of moving would break whatever she had tapped into.
She felt more alive — more herself — than she ever had in her life. Never even realizing how dead she had felt inside until the warmth had entered her limbs and hadn’t left. As if for years she had been stuck in the cold of winter until suddenly the sun broke through the clouds, and had melted away all of the snow and ice. She looked back down at the candle beside her and smiled, its flame still burning. Life certainly had gotten interesting lately, but she had a feeling it was only going to get better from there.
It had been a good twenty minutes before she went searching for the Faye, wandering through hallway after hallway. It was like the house went on forever, even though it seemed like just a small cottage from the outside. She found herself wondering if all Faye lived in houses like this or just ones as old as Elazar. The windows that she had passed proved to her that time had indeed passed while she had been in a trance. The sun hanging much lower in the sky than it had been before. She came to a fork in the hallway, one leading left and the other right. How strange that a house would have a forked hallway. But then again, she reminded herself, this house wasn’t exactly stationary. After a moment of deliberation, she went down the left hallway.
This hallway wasn’t as long as the other ones she had walked down and this one ended with a large wooden door with a brass handle. Speaking out loud to herself in the dim hallway, her voice echoed off the walls. “Abby, this is not your house. You don’t open doors in other people’s homes.”
She shook her head and turned back around, thinking that she should probably try harder at finding her teacher rather than at exploring. She was three steps away when the door creaked open behind her. As she turned and watched the big oak door swing into the room, her breath was taken away in a rush.
It was a library.
Chapter Twenty
❖
Abby
Libraries like this were only supposed to existed in dreams and film.
It was huge, with ceilings a good two stories high. A wrapped walkway spanned the two upper floors, rolling ladders on every level. A large fireplace sat to her left, granite framing the hearth and creating a large barrier between the fire and the books. Multiple tables and chairs were spread out on the floor; books piled here and there. It was heaven — of that she had no doubt. She walked to the nearest shelf, gently running her hands along the bands of dozens of books. Some looked ancient, while others were probably only as old as she was. But they all looked well-loved and used, the bindings slightly worn and bent. She could have stayed in the library just staring at all of the books for years and never notice the time slip away.
There was a tug in her center, like someone had poked her. Something was telling her to look up. From the very top of the room, from the tallest shelf, a book started to float down to her. She quickly spun around, expecting to see Lord Elazar standing in the doorway. But she was still just as alone as she had been when she entered. She looked back at the book as it descended, not daring to move until it gently set down on the table nearest her. With one last glance around and a deep breath, she walked over to the table and gently ran her fingers down the cover.
The book was old. Possibly older than any other book she had seen. The cover held no title, no indication of what was hidden in its pages. The parchment pages cracked as she gently lifted the cover. Latin. The words were in Latin.
She rolled her eyes and sighed, of course it was. Although she felt grateful for her stint in Catholic school and her Latin classes, she really hated the language. It was hard to read and even harder to speak. She was about to close the book when the pages changed in front of her, like a gust of wind had turned the pages. But with no windows in the room, except for the skylights high above, there was no way a breeze had moved the pages.
Her Latin may have only been basic, and not very good, but she was knowledgeable enough to know what the top of the page said — Blood Magic. The chill down her spine should have been enough of a warning to close the book and leave the library, and to not think about it’s worn pages again. And yet she couldn’t tear herself away from the table. Something, or someone perhaps, wanted her to read
this book, this page.
With a shaky breath, Abby leaned closer to the book before her, reading the words on the page. Her gut clenched at the implications of the spell, of how one could use the spell for evil. This was dark magic; this was what the dark witch behind the murders was doing. Why was this book in Elazar’s library? Why did she need to see it?
Looking behind her quickly, to make sure she was still alone in the library, she took a deep breath. She promised herself, and whatever wanted her to see the book, that she would never use this magic unless she had no other choice. Then she looked back to the spell and started to memorize the words.
Close to another hour had gone by, by the time she left the library. Part of her wondered why Elazar hadn’t come looking for her. But then he probably wasn’t concerned. He could probably tell where she was in his house by magic, if he wanted to know. She went back to the forked hallway and went the other way. The hallway wound around before leading her to a greenhouse.
It was filled to the brim with all sorts of plants and trees. Vines running up the the supports and into the grand buttresses that held the glass roof up. The trees reached high into the sky, as if they thought they could reach the blue expanse on the other side of their barrier. Abby walked further into the room, passing all sorts of small trees, bushes, and flowers. She could see Lord Elazar on the far end of the room, tending to some plant. But as she walked further into the room, she started to hear voices, and they didn’t belong to anyone she knew.
