"Just a friend of mine from school," Jamie replied after Jack had hit a powerful slice that landed on the 3rd fairway.
"A guy?" Jim asked hesitantly, thinking that perhaps this was an issue between the young couple.
"Only partially," Jack answered his question as he stalked off to find his ball.
Jim and Jamie watched Jack stomping his way across the fairway with shock on both of their faces. "What in the heck is wrong with him?" Jim finally asked her.
"He's just been in a mood for a while," Jamie replied neutrally. "I think he's got too much stress with law review and his class work."
"What did he mean by that comment?" Jim persisted as he refused to let the issue drop. After Jamie hit her second shot, a nice 5 iron that landed softly on the green, she replied, "She's a friend from school that Jack doesn't like."
"What did he mean when he said she was partially a guy?" he asked.
"Ryan's a lesbian. And for some reason Jack feels threatened by that," she finally admitted.
"Hmm," Jim replied. "That does seem strange," he finally said.
At least he's on my side, Jamie thought as Jack finally reached the green. They finished the hole in silence. Not another word was said until they finished up on 18. Jim looked at them both and said, "Let's go into the Grill. I don't want you two to leave like this."
Jack looked a little guilty about his belligerent attitude and Jamie had no reason to refuse, so they agreed. After they were settled with drinks Jim finally broke the silence again. "Do you mind talking about what's bothering you two?"
"It's not a big deal, Daddy," Jamie said. "Jack has been unhappy about my friendship with Ryan but I'm sure he'll feel better about it when he gets to know her a little." She really didn't want her father to know how childish Jack was being about this.
"I don't want to get to know her, Jamie," Jack said through gritted teeth. "If you really respected my opinion, you would stop spending all of your free time with her."
"I don't spend all of my free time with her, Jack," she defended.
"How many times did you see her this week?" he asked, bearing down on her like a prosecutor.
"We played golf on Monday, I saw her in class twice, we had to volunteer together on Tuesday and Thursday night, she trained me at the gym twice and then I made her dinner on Friday as you know."
Jack didn't say a word in response to her statement. He merely raised one dark blonde eyebrow and narrowed his eyes a bit in obvious triumph.
"But I don't see her that much all of the time," she said defensively. "This week was an anomaly."
"That's not what Cassie says," he said dramatically.
Jamie's face had been relatively composed, but now it grew bright pink with anger. "Do you have any others spies keeping track of me, or only Cassie?" she said evenly through her own set of gritted teeth.
"Jack, Jamie" her father finally said, trying to calm them down. "It's obvious that this is a big issue between you two." Jamie continued to glare at Jack who was glaring right back at her. "Jamie," he said as he turned to her, "I think the solution is rather obvious."
"I don't know if I can wait for Jack to grow up, Daddy," she said sweetly as she turned to look at her father.
"No, Honey," he said firmly. "You can't put your friendships ahead of your commitment to Jack," he said patiently. "Friends will come and go, but your spouse is with you for life."
Jamie felt all of the color drain from her face. She turned from her father to Jack and then back again. She felt absolutely betrayed by both of these men. "So that's what makes a good marriage? Giving in to every irrational request that your partner makes? Or is it only the woman who has to give in?" she added, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
The looks she was regarded with were identical. Neither man had ever seen her stand her ground so forcefully, and neither liked it. Rather than cause a bigger scene she stood and regarded them sadly. She just shook her head and fought to control the tears that desperately wanted to come as she turned and left the room.
After a half hour in the Jacuzzi she found an attendant in the locker room and handed her a note. The woman assured her that it would be delivered to her father immediately.
Jim and Jack were patiently waiting on a pair of overstuffed chairs within view of the women's locker room. The attendant recognized Jim and handed him the note. It read,
I've arranged for a ride home. Please respect my wishes and give me some time alone.
"Well, Jack, welcome to married life," Jim said as he handed Jack the note and stood to leave.
After Jamie had written the note she began to figure out how to get home. First she called Mia, but no one was home. Next she tried Mia's pager, but got no return call. Oh, right, she's in L.A. this weekend. I don't think she'll be home until tomorrow morning. Next she tried her grandfather, but no one was home at either his house or his office. I shouldn't do this, but I don't have enough cash for a cab. She dialed Ryan's pager number and waited just a few minutes for the return call.
"Hi," Ryan's voice called out brightly. "Are you calling to get a piece of birthday cake?"
"No," Jamie said meekly as she started to cry.
"What's wrong?" Ryan's voice was filled with alarm.
"I need a very big favor," she finally choked out.
"Anything," Ryan said firmly. "Just name it."
Jamie gave her a short version of her plight and Ryan immediately agreed to come get her. How does she do that? Two minutes of talking to her and I feel that everything will be okay.
Jamie showered and dried her hair. She rummaged in her locker to find a heavy lined warm up suit that she sometimes wore on rainy days. She decided she could use all the layers she had for the bike ride. She pulled her slacks and sweater back on and then put the warm ups on over her clothes. She left the locker room, glancing around carefully, hoping that her father and Jack had heeded her wishes, knowing there would be massive trouble if they saw her get on Ryan's Harley. She walked out to the circular drive and was very pleased to hear the Harley roar up the long entryway.
The attendant looked puzzled when Jamie came over to the bike. He was unsure of how to help, so he just let Ryan pull her on to the big machine. Jamie settled the spare helmet on her head and they pulled away.
When they got to the street Ryan pulled over to the curb and turned the bike off. She turned around as much as possible and gently asked, "Where do you want to go?"
"I'm not sure," she said as the tears overtook her again. "My car is in Palo Alto, so I guess I have to go there."
"I can drive you down there tomorrow," Ryan replied firmly. "You're too upset to drive back all that way by yourself. Why don't I just take you home?"
"I guess that's my only option," she said sadly. "I'm just afraid that Jack might be there waiting for me. And if I see Cassie, I might actually kill her," she said sadly.
"I've got a better idea," Ryan replied as she turned and kicked the big bike to life.
Jamie was pleased that Ryan had just taken control of the situation. She just knows what to do to calm me down, she thought dreamily as she rested her face between Ryan's shoulder blades to cut the wind. Her arms were wrapped tightly against her trim waist and she finally felt safe for the first time all day.
"Do you need anything for the night? I have some sweats and stuff but nothing will fit you right."
"Is there someplace that I could buy a few things? I also need a bookstore to buy a novel that I have to read by tomorrow."
"Sure. We'll head over to 24th St."
They did just that and stopped at The Gap where Jamie purchased yet another pair of jeans and a bright blue chamois shirt along with a pale yellow T-shirt. Another stop at a cute little lingerie store added panties, a pair of cotton boxers, another bra and a pair of socks to her pile of purchases.
Luckily a used bookstore had a copy of her Barnes novel, and she was set.
They pulled up in front of the neat home in the Noe Valley just after 6. It was
fully dark and she could see that the house was dark also. "Where is everyone?" Jamie inquired.
"Conor is helping my cousin Niall work on his new house over in the Sunset district. I assume they'll go out for a drink afterward, so he won't be home tonight. Da had to fill in for someone at work, so he's gone all night. Rory left on his tour today, so we have the place to ourselves for a change."
As they hopped of the bike Jamie regarded her thoughtfully, "You didn't have plans tonight did you?" she asked a little suspiciously.
"No, not really," Ryan prevaricated.
"I just thought that this could be a good opportunity to see your little friend," she replied. When Ryan's face showed no recognition, she continued, "You know; the one who lives at home."
"Oh, no, no. I'm not seeing her anymore," Ryan laughed. "I've sworn off all women who live at home," she replied seriously, "Unless they have a really big car," she added with a laugh. "I was thinking about calling my friend Ally," she said with a waggling eyebrow. "But it's never in my best interests to see her on a school night."
"How come?"
"Remember the day you had to let me sleep in your house?"
"Yeah."
"That was all due to Ally. Moderation is not her middle name," she said with a twinkle in her eyes. "You have no idea how much my body will thank you for saving me from going over there."
She felt herself shiver at the thought of what that really meant but just gave her a playful little poke in the ribs as they climbed the stairs. They were greeted enthusiastically by Duffy who acted as though Jamie was his long lost best friend.
"Boy, I've forgotten how much better a friendly greeting can make you feel," she said wistfully.
"Hey, Duffy isn't the only one who's friendly," Ryan said as she approached her and offered her arms for a hug.
Jamie gratefully accepted. As the warm, strong arms circled her she felt herself sucking up the comfort like a dry sponge. As she relaxed in the embrace she felt herself begin to let go again. She began to sob as Ryan rubbed her back in a calming, reassuring gesture. After a few minutes Ryan pulled away a bit and said, "You feel really warm. Why don't you take your jacket off."
Jamie numbly complied as Ryan did likewise. Next she removed her warm up pants and folded both of them neatly. Ryan placed an arm across her shoulders and guided her to the sofa. She gently pushed her down and leaned over to look at her face closely. "Do you drink alcohol?"
"Um, yeah," she replied, unsure of where this was headed.
"I'm going to make you a warm drink to relax you a bit," she replied.
Ryan ambled into the kitchen. Duffy looked from Ryan's retreating form to Jamie and back again. Making up his doggie mind he scrambled onto the sofa and lay his big black head on Jamie's lap, uttering a heavy sigh as he did so.
When Ryan returned Jamie was stroking Duffy's head and murmuring sweet nothings. "I can tell who his favorite is," Ryan stated as she gave him a mock glare. "C'mon Duff, I saw her first," she said as she snapped her fingers as he immediately leapt from the couch and onto the floor. "He steals all of my friends if I let him," she whispered conspiratorially as she handed Jamie a steaming mug.
Jamie took a bit sip and purred with contentment, "What is in this?" she asked with a big smile.
"Hot cocoa and Bailey's Irish cream," she replied as she sipped her own mug. "The Bailey's counteracts the caffeine in the cocoa, so it really relaxes you."
Ryan turned a little as she put her mug on the floor. She leaned over and grasped Jamie's legs, pulling them onto her lap. She began to unlace her boots and tossed them to the floor as she finished. "I want to know everything that happened since I last saw you," she said soothingly, as she began to massage her feet.
Jamie felt herself immediately begin to relax. "I went down to Palo Alto after I left here. The evening went okay," she decided to gloss over the sexual aspects of her evening. But something about the day was bothering her too much to ignore. "Can I ask you a really, really personal question?"
"Sure," she said immediately.
Jamie pursed her lips as she thought about how to frame her question. "Have you ever tried to..." she struggled a little as she tried to adjust the question for Ryan's sexual orientation. "Have you ever tried to get your partner to do something that was painful for her?"
Ryan looked at her with a slightly cocked head as she tried to think of how to answer. "That's a tough one," she admitted. "I'm not sure what you're getting at, but there have been lots of times where I've pushed just a little farther than was probably wise. Sometimes it's hard to tell if a sound means 'Do that harder' or 'OUCH!' Is that what you mean?"
Now Jamie shot her a confused look. "I don't know what you mean," she admitted.
"Do you want me to be graphic? I don't mind giving you a blunt answer but I don't want to tell you more than you want to know about my sexual habits," she said with an embarrassed look.
A myriad of images flew through Jamie's fertile imagination. She shook her head to clear it and realized that she had to be the one to be more graphic. "Okay, here's the issue. Jack was insatiable last night. He really seemed needy and sometimes he seems to express himself only through sex. I think it's his way of feeling close again after a fight."
Ryan nodded in complete understanding. "That's a common reaction to a fight," she agreed.
"Right. And even though his insecurities don't appeal to me, I didn't complain. But he tried to make love to me three separate times this morning. I clearly told him that I was too sore but he would not stop. I finally gave in just to get him off my back, but I was really resentful. It really upset me that he wanted to have sex even when he knew it was causing me pain. And it pissed me off that he could enjoy himself when I was just lying there like a dead fish!"
Ryan was unsure of how to comment on this. She had never in her life tried to talk any woman into having sex when she did not want to. And she could no more enjoy sex with an unwilling partner than she could fly. But she did not want to reveal how mean she thought Jack was being. Jamie was engaged to this guy and even if he was sometimes a jerk she didn't think it was wise to be the one to point that out.
"I don't think it's fair to compare how people react to things that are really emotionally loaded," she said judiciously. "What's really important is how that made you feel. Tell me about that."
"I don't think there's any lonelier feeling than lying in bed with someone who's just using your body for their own pleasure," she murmured as she began to cry softly.
Ryan quickly got up and went to the other end of the loveseat. She lifted Jamie's torso and sat down, lowering her back down until her head was in her lap. She started to run her fingers through her hair in a soft, calming fashion. After a few minutes she said softly, "I'm so sorry, Jamie. I can't stand to see you hurt so badly. I wish I could do something to help."
"You are, Ryan. You're doing more than you know," she reassured her as she patted her hand. "But I've got lots more to bitch about so I may as well get it over with."
As she took a deep slow breath and furrowed her brow in concentration Ryan's soft voice wafted over her. "Is this okay?" She lifted a good portion of Jamie's shiny blonde hair and gave her scalp a little scratch to indicate the nature of her request.
Sea green eyes lifted and gazed at her, deep gratitude reflected back. "This is the best I've felt all day," she replied with a sad smile as she covered Ryan's warm hand with her own. "Actually," she amended, "It's the best I've felt in weeks." She patted Ryan's hand softly as she stressed, "It's more than all right. It's keeping me sane."
Ryan gave her a gentle, sweet smile as her hand drifted lower and she began to trace the smooth planes of Jamie's face with her fingertips. It was difficult for the prone woman to keep her train of thought but she struggled to get through her story. "We played golf with my father this afternoon." Here she paused to concentrate. "I was playing well and it seemed to piss Jack off...which is odd for him. He's not normally competitive with me." Ryan nodded
to encourage her, but did not speak.
"My father made a comment about bringing you to play on Monday and Jack flipped out," she replied. "He gets angry so rarely, and never, ever, in front of my parents," she said as her face clouded again.
Ryan's fingers grew more determined in their efforts to remove the stress from her friend's face. She worked at the tense lines with both of her thumbs, smiling to herself as she could see Jamie begin to relax a bit. "Then what?" Ryan softly inquired.
Jamie decided not to reveal the slur that Jack had made toward Ryan since it was not vital to the story. "After the round we went to have a drink and my father really wanted us to talk about it," she shook her head sadly. "Jack said that he didn't want me to see you anymore," she said as she began to cry in earnest. She nudged Jamie upright and sat down behind her as she put her arms around her shaking body. "That's not the worst part, though," she sobbed.
Ryan continued to smooth her hair and stroke her back. "It's okay, Jamie. It will all be okay," she soothed.
"The really bad part was when my father agreed with him," she finally got out through the raking sobs.
Ryan could hardly believe how much this revelation hurt her. She felt as though she had been kicked in the chest, but she did not want to make matters worse for her friend. She just held her tighter as she murmured reassuring words to her. After a long while the sobs turned to whimpers. Ryan said very softly right into her ear, "I don't want to cause problems with your boyfriend and your family, Jamie. I understand if you need to stop seeing me so much."
Jamie sat bolt upright and got to her knees as she turned to face Ryan with a look of abject panic on her face. "Not you too!" she nearly shouted as she grabbed Ryan roughly by the shoulders. "Don't you understand?" she cried as she gave her a forceful shake.
"Jamie, Jamie, it's okay," Ryan said calmly as she removed Jamie's fingers from their death grip. "I just want you to know that I support you in whatever you choose to do," she said softly. "It would hurt me terribly to stop being your friend, but if you need to see me less I want you to know that I will understand. I'd do anything to make this easier for you Jamie," she said with a tear in her eyes. "Anything!"
Awakenings - SF1 Page 32
