By 5 o'clock they were both famished and she was a bit tipsy from the wine samples being consumed on an empty stomach. They decided to go to Tra Vigne in St. Helena for dinner, and since it was so early they had no trouble getting a table.
They were shown to a nice table and presented with the extensive wine list. Jack handed the list to her, always content to have her exercise the skills that he lacked. The server presented the bottle of Merlot that she had picked out and Jack indicated that Jamie would be the one to taste the wine. After pronouncing it acceptable they relaxed and waited for their appetizers to be delivered.
"Can we talk about Ryan a little bit, Jack?" she asked with just a touch of hesitation.
To her relief he did not tense up or look uncomfortable at the topic. He just tilted his head a bit to encourage her to continue. "I know that you said last night that you accepted full responsibility for our breakup but that's not really accurate." He furrowed his brow a bit as he stared at her intently, but still did not speak. "You were right about Ryan," she said firmly.
His eyes widened perceptibly and she realized how that must have sounded. "No, no, not like that!" she hastened to add. "You were right that she was part of the problem."
"How?" he finally asked.
"She was part of the problem because I turned to her for the emotional support that I didn't feel from you," she admitted. "Ryan is very available emotionally and she was always there for me when something was bothering me. Like when I had that pregnancy scare," she reminded him. "It wasn't that I didn't want you involved. I just thought you would be upset with me for not making sure we used a condom. I felt like she would be there for me without judging me. And I didn't feel that from you," she added softly.
"But that sounds like a good thing, Jamie. It's nice to have friends that you can count on like that."
"Yes, it is," she agreed quickly. "And I want Ryan in my life permanently. The problem isn't with her. It's with me. Rather than trying to work out my issues with you I took the easy way out and just got the support that I needed from her. That was unfair to all of us, Jack. It didn't let you know what I needed from you; it got her involved in things that were really not appropriate for a friend to be involved in and it let me take the easy way out. In a way I used her, and I feel really badly about that."
He nodded briefly and gazed at the wine in his glass as he lifted it and swirled the deep red liquid around. "I'm glad that you admit that I wasn't imagining that she was interfering with our relationship," he said quietly. "And I'm sorry that I assumed it was sexual and that she was actively trying to interfere. I guess I owe her an apology."
"No, you don't," she said quickly. "I never told her any of the comments you made about her. I'm sure she doesn't know how you really feel."
He smiled gently and said, "Thank you. It makes me feel good to know you don't talk about me behind my back."
She rubbed the bridge of her nose nervously as she conceded, "I wouldn't exactly say that." A small chuckle bubbled up from her chest and she added, "I talked about how I felt about you and how hurt I was by you. I'm not sure she thinks you're a fabulous guy. I just never spoke about what you said about her. And I've never told my parents anything bad about you. I only said that we had some issues we couldn't get over."
"That's still pretty good," he admitted. "If I only have to repair my reputation with Ryan I think I'm in good shape."
She looked at him and asked directly, "So you won't mind if I stay close to Ryan? She really means a lot to me Jack."
"Jamie," he said confidently as he grasped her hand. "She can be your maid of honor at our wedding; she can be the godmother to our children; she can be your biking partner; heck, she can even be your personal trainer. I just want you back!"
It was late when they finally arrived back in the South Bay. He walked her in and they spent several minutes sitting on the couch and kissing rather innocently. But she could tell he was terribly tired so she suggested, "Why don't you stay over...in the guest room?" she added with a grin.
He sighed deeply and stretched before he nodded his head. "That's a good idea. I'm really beat."
"Come on, Sweetie," she urged as she got to her feet and tugged his hand. "Time for bed."
She got him settled in the guest room right next to hers. After a few tame kisses she walked to her room and got ready for bed. Just before she slid into the sheets she glanced at her cell phone that she had inadvertently left at home. There were 3 messages from Ryan on voice mail, each one sounding a little more concerned. God Ryan, she thought, don't be so possessive! Can't I have a day without my cell phone?
She woke at 6 a.m., still very tired but in dire need of the bathroom. After she had relieved herself she got a sly grin on her face and snuck next door and slipped soundlessly into Jack's room. He was sprawled out across the bed, consuming nearly all of the king sized mattress. He was sporting some cute navy blue and white checked boxers... and an erection. Oh oh, she thought, as she reconsidered her plan. I don't want to have sex just yet, but I'd really like some closeness. Well, maybe he'd be willing to just cuddle, she thought, deciding to go for it. She slipped in next to him and his body curled up on his side in immediate reaction. She snuggled up against his strong back, taking in his slightly musky scent and the smooth, lightly tanned skin that her cheek rested against. God I missed this, she mused as sleep claimed her almost immediately.
As her eyes blinked open a deep voice whispered, "Good morning."
"Oh, hi," she said with a shy grin. "I hope you don't mind that I snuck in here this morning." He was lying on his back and she was curled up against his chest with her head resting on his muscular shoulder. His arm was securely wrapped around her shoulders and his large hand rested on her hip.
"Best surprise I've had in weeks," he replied as he placed a tiny kiss on her head. "But I need my arm back for a minute." She released him and watched his cute little butt as he padded into the bath. A few minutes later he emerged, with his face washed and a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. "What do you want to do?" he asked through a mouth full of toothpaste. "Ready to get up or would you like a little cuddling?"
She was a bit surprised by that offer since cuddling was never his forte. "I'd love to cuddle if you really don't mind."
He gave her an adorable grin that lit up his whole face. He dashed back into the bath, spitting noisily, then ran a few steps toward the bed and launched himself at her with a wild look in his eyes. She laughed heartily at his antics, trying to remember the last time he was so playful. He grabbed her roughly and plastered his toothpaste smeared mouth against hers, making her giggle uncontrollably. She calmed down after a minute and he braced himself on one arm, leaning over her and saying in a very serious voice, "I missed cuddling with you, Jamie. After we broke up I would lie in bed in the morning and just ache to feel your body next to mine."
She gazed up at him in amazement both at the sentiment and his very successful attempts at emotional openness. Her face curled into a welcoming smile and he lowered his head to place a few delicate kisses on her lips. But true to his word he immediately flopped down next to her and wrapped her in a warm embrace. She turned onto her side and scooted up against his lap, relieved to find him flaccid. I don't think we've ever cuddled in the morning without him getting an erection, she mused. Maybe he really is serious about just being close. They were both still tired and after a few minutes of the tender embrace she slipped back into a contented slumber. They cycled through sleep and hugs for another half hour or so, turning from one side to the other several times.
At around 8 she woke on her left side, cuddled up against his back. She now felt rested and content and found herself start to nibble on his neck and shoulders. He stayed right where he was but he woke also, tugging her arm close against his chest as he relaxed and let her kiss him at her own pace. "Jack?" she asked softly. "Can we talk about sex a little bit?"
"Sure," he agreed. "What do you want to talk about?"
"Um...I've done a lot of thinking about how sex was between us and I think we need to make a few changes..."
"Oh, I agree," he said without hesitation. "I know you were not very satisfied, Jamie, and I take full responsibility for that."
"You do?" she asked, completely stunned.
"Yeah, I do. I was the more experienced partner and I should have made your pleasure my priority."
"Well you did...at first," she ventured.
"I know," he admitted quietly. "But that was another of my insecurities. I started to feel shut out and I reacted by trying to care less. Towards the end I admit that I was a total asshole! I still can't believe I acted that way, Jamie," he said softly. "Your pleasure is terribly important to me and I swear I'll work harder to focus on you."
"It's not that you didn't work hard enough, Jack, it's almost the opposite," she opined. "I think we both have to loosen up and be more experimental if we're going to make this work."
He rolled over onto his back and gazed over at her with a very serious look on his face. "Tell me what you liked and didn't like," he asked, his gaze never wavering.
"Gosh," she said as her eyes blinked slowly. "Um...I loved the way we were before we started having sex," she said tentatively.
"Why? What exactly did you love about that?"
"You used to just turn me on," she said with a winsome smile. "God! Some nights I could hardly walk when I left your apartment. Your kisses and your soft little caresses just drove me wild! But when we started to have intercourse a lot of that stopped," she said softly, still hurt by the withdrawal of her required intimacies.
"You're right," he said immediately. "I admit that I was having a great time and I didn't spend enough time making sure that you were also."
"Sometimes I did enjoy intercourse, Jack," she insisted. "But our schedules were not the same and our arousal patterns didn't mesh well. Like in the mornings, for instance," she explained. "You would wake up most mornings and be ready for action, but you seemed to just want to have a quick orgasm. That will never work for me," she maintained. "I can get aroused in the morning but it takes a while. And it's painful when you enter me before I'm fully aroused."
"It's painful?" he asked with a hurt look on his face.
"Yes, Honey, it's actually painful. And when you cause me pain it just makes me tense up the next time so it becomes kind of a vicious cycle."
"I swear I didn't know that, Jamie. I guess I figured that you would get aroused from having me inside of you."
"No, that doesn't work for me, Jack. It might for some women, but not me. I need slow, soft kisses and touches to get aroused in the morning but that's obviously not what you need."
"No," he admitted as he blushed deeply. "I wake up horny and I just want to have an orgasm." He pursed his lips together and said, "There's no reason that you have to satisfy all of my needs. We can reserve our lovemaking for when we both are in the mood and we have some time."
"That's not necessary, Jack," she assured him. "This is where we have to get creative. I'm more than happy to help you reach orgasm whenever you need it. I'm just not willing to have intercourse all the time."
"Oh," he said as he nodded slowly. "You don't mind fooling around a little when I'm aroused."
"No, I not only don't mind, I think it would be fun," she said happily. "But can you be satisfied with other kinds of stimulation?"
"Of course," he said immediately. "Any assistance you can offer would be appreciated," he said with a grin as he leaned up for a kiss.
She turned him over onto his side and cuddled up against his back. "Would you like a little help now?" she whispered into his ear.
"Well, um...I'm not really arou...oops! Check that," he laughed as he felt his shorts grow snug. "Uhh, yeah, I'd love a little help. What do you have in mind?"
"Well," she purred into his ear. "I could kiss you while you touched yourself..." He tensed up a little at that suggestion but he gallantly agreed.
"Okay...we could try that if that's what you want."
"No, Jack...It's not what I want, it's what would please you," she insisted. "I could," she suggested as she slid her hand down his abdomen and dipped into his shorts, "stroke you with my hand." She grasped his penis with her hand and took a few experimental tugs.
His eyes closed as his head fell back against her shoulder. "Ohh, that's nice," he growled.
"I could even touch you like this," she suggested as her hand slid lower and gently manipulated his testicles. His penis immediately got rock hard as he let out the breath he had been holding.
"Jeeesus," he murmured as his hips involuntarily pumped a few times. He turned to face her with a wide eyed look. "Where did you learn to do that?"
"Nowhere," she said honestly. "I'm just trying to get rid of some of my inhibitions. I'm also more than willing to try something else," she said as he locked eyes with him and started to kiss her way down his belly.
His eyes nearly popped from his head as he stuttered, "L...Let's take it one step at a time, Honey. Come up here and touch me with your hand again." He was lying on his back now and he smiled over at her as she slid his boxers off, revealing his fully erect member. She gazed at him for a moment as a slow smile crept across her face. There was something so obvious about his genitals that she found rather appealing. If his penis was hard, he was aroused. Once he had an orgasm, it became flaccid and he was satisfied. The simple, straightforward nature of his needs was reassuring to her as she tried to throw off some of her restraint and get more fully involved.
"Show me what you like, Jack," she whispered as her hand gripped him again.
He hissed out a moan of pleasure but did as he was told. Guiding her hand with his own, his eyes tightly closed, his excitement built quickly. Within minutes he was making his cute little pre-orgasm sounds. She wasn't prepared for his climax though, and she had to duck to avoid getting hit in the face. "Whoa," she giggled as he collapsed, a fine sheen of sweat covering his now musky smelling body. "You could poke somebody's eye out with that stuff!"
He turned his head languidly and gazed at her with a bemused smirk. "Are you sure you didn't date anybody while we were broken up?"
"Nope. Not a one. I was obviously waiting for you," she whispered as she leaned over him and kissed him tenderly.
To her extreme pleasure they lay in bed for another hour, their soft, stroking caresses interspersed with tender little kisses. "This is exactly...and I do mean exactly, what I needed," Jamie mumbled into his chest. "I love touching you and kissing and hugging in the morning, and I really enjoyed helping you have an orgasm. But I really don't think I want to have intercourse in the morning."
"This is a perfectly acceptable alternative," he agreed as he snuggled up against her back and nuzzled her neck.
This is what I thought marriage would be like, she mused as his hand ran slowly up and down her leg. Nice long cuddles, lots of kissing and hugging, and when problems happen you just talk about them.
Marta was very surprised to see Jack saunter downstairs, hand in hand with Jamie, but she made no comment other than to ask what they wanted for breakfast. It was after 10 when they finally got out of bed and a quick check of her cell phone while Jack was showering showed that Ryan had called at 8 a.m. God, I don't want to have to go into everything with her right now, Jamie worried. I think I'll just call her house and leave a message on the machine. Her message was truthful as far as it went, but she knew that Ryan would be concerned. She merely said that she had unexpectedly decided to come down to her parents home and that she would see Ryan at their appointment on Monday afternoon. Oh shit, she thought as she hung up. She probably waited for me to take our long ride today. Oh well, this is a lot more important than a bike ride, she thought decisively.
"You're being terribly generous with your time, Jack, but I know you have things to do," she said as she tried to keep her train of thought. They were sitting on a double chaise out by the pool after a lavish brunch and Jack could not refrain from kissing
her on every exposed millimeter of skin.
"I don't want to let you out of my sight...or my touch," he whispered as he pinned her against the cushions with his chest and leisurely explored her mouth with his tongue. "Are you sure you don't want to go back upstairs and let me show you how experimental I can be?"
She pushed him away slightly by placing her hands flat on his chest. "I need some time to process this, Jack. I really feel a little overwhelmed right now. And besides," she added with a grin. "I don't have any condoms in the house and if you have one in your pocket I'll be terribly insulted."
He smiled back and stuck his hands in his pockets, pulling them inside out to show that they were devoid of birth control devices. "I understand, Jamie," he smiled. "I just want to make sure you get satisfied if you need it."
She kissed him gently and stayed very close, whispering right into his lips, "Oh, I need it, alright. You've been driving me wild with those kisses. But I can wait for what I want. And I think you need to go get your work done, Sweetheart."
"I won't be able to think of a thing other than your face," he pledged as he kissed all around her smiling face.
"You're too sweet," she said as she kissed him back. "But I've got work to do also, so I'd better go." She got to her feet and extended both of her hands to pull his lean body from the chaise. But instead of going along willingly he gave a sharp tug and pulled her right onto his lap.
"Just a few more kisses," he begged with his eyes closed.
She smiled at his dramatics but granted his wish, now more than ever regretting her decision not to go back upstairs...condoms be damned.
Awakenings - SF1 Page 65
