by Erin Trejo
I quickly press the end button not able to handle her voice anymore.
My head drops forward while my breathing kicks up a notch. All the wrongs in this world are because of me. I need to stop this!
“Selfish bitch!” Screaming without a care for who is in the room, I slam my fist into the wall. Over, and over, I keep punching until there is nothing more than a gaping hole staring back at me.
Hearing a little gasp behind me, I turn to see Nina curled into herself sitting near the headboard.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” I tell her. Her eyes are wild for a moment when recognition hits her.
“It’s ok. Are you okay?” She asks sweetly. Nodding my head, I move to the chair in the corner and drop into it.
I lay my head back and close my eyes, wishing all of this shit was just a bad nightmare. That tomorrow I’ll wake up, and have at least one of my kids still alive.
If I’m being honest with myself, I wanted to be a father. I wanted to see my little son or daughter running wild around the club house.
Now, that will never happen.
Sleep well
Chapter 11
I don’t know how long I’ve laid here. I don’t really care either.
My mind isn’t fully comprehending how Ally could be so selfish. Did she not even care the slightest bit, about what would happen to those babies that I placed inside of her?
Did she not even care what I thought about it?
My thoughts are jarred when I feel hands land on me.
Jerking away, my eyes fly open as Nina sits on her knees in front of me, eyes wide and locked with mine.
“Your hand is pretty bad.” She says. Something in her eyes just tugs at me. So, caring to her captor. Why?
“I’ll live.” I grunt. She stares at me for a minute before I notice the first aid kit sitting next to her.
Nina blinks rapidly trying to regain her composure before grabbing my hand in hers again.
Blowing out a breath, I lay my head back while she pours something onto my hand. The burn is welcome, so I don’t move.
“You want to talk about it?” She asks. Shaking my head, I don’t even look up or open my eyes, for that matter.
“You wanted the baby, didn’t you?” Now my head flies forward, eyes wide. How the hell could she have known that?
“I saw the way you looked when I asked if she was pregnant. I’m sorry. That has to be hard.” She says so sweetly, as though she understands. Shrugging my shoulders, she continues bandaging my hand for me. I can’t let her see how that shit has affected me.
“It wasn’t the first. I’m sure it won’t be the last either, but I can guarantee it will be the last of mine.” I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep letting myself get drug back into Ally. This has to stop.
“I’m sorry it happened. Sometimes it’s for the best, though.” She speaks in such a low and soft voice, that it intrigues me even more.
Reaching for her hand with my good one, she stills all her movements. Swallowing hard, her eyes slowly roam to mine.
“Why do you let this keep happenin’ to you? Why not run or find somewhere else to live?” I have to ask her. I have to know. The overwhelming need to understand her keeps gnawing at the back of my mind.
“They always find me. He has ties all over the country. I’ve moved, even stayed away from him. I suppose I should be grateful that he’s always upped the money at some point for me, but I know one day he isn’t going to. His precious money has always come first.” We sit here in a silent standoff. Neither of us know how to respond to that.
Gauging each other’s reaction to everything that’s going on.
“It’s one hell of a way to live.” I say. Nina shrugs before slowly pulling her hand out of my grasp.
“Sleep well.” She says, and with that, she climbs back into the bed leaving to my own thoughts.
Thoughts that I don’t really want to have.
Something deeper
Chapter 12
Yawning, I stretch out before I stand from the chair I fell asleep in. I grab the blanket off my body that Nina must have put there when I passed out.
Glancing around, I notice she isn’t in here or the bathroom.
“Shit!” I growl and hope like hell that girl didn’t run. I don’t think my mind can handle hunting her ass down today, or being nice to her when I find her.
I pull the bedroom door open and stalk down the stairs. Noting that the guys are gone, and the blankets are all folded and placed neatly on the couch where some of them slept, I know she’s been down here, too.
Hearing noises coming from the kitchen, I head that direction and almost lose my mind when I see her standing in front of the stove in my t-shirt cooking.
I clear my throat, making her jump before she yells.
“Damn it!” She screams. She grabs her hand before flipping the cold water on and sticking her hand under it.
I rush toward her when I see how red the spot is on her hand. Shit, she burned it.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you burnt. Don’t use water.” I say. Turning the sink off, I move to the refrigerator, grabbing the butter out.
I slide my finger through it, scooping a little onto my finger tip before grabbing her hand in mine. I slowly spread the butter over the reddened spot.
Her hands are so fucking soft and small in mine.
“Butter? Where did a biker learn that trick?” She asks in an interested tone. Grinning slightly, I look back at those sexy damn eyes of hers.
“My momma always used butter when I was little.” Her breath catches in her throat as we look into each other’s eyes. So, confusing, broken, used.
We are so much alike but so different.
“Shit, the eggs!” She screeched. Nina pulls her hand from mine before moving toward the stove.
My dick jerks in my jeans and my breathing has kicked up twenty notches. The tug to this girl is undeniable. I know it isn’t the wisest choice to mess with her, but damn!
Without overthinking it, I move in behind, reaching around her little waist to turn the stove off.
Before she can speak, I slide my hands around her stomach reveling in the warmth that radiates off her.
I nuzzle my face into the crook of her neck, savoring the scent of her before I groan.
“You’re very intriguing, Nina.” Her chest rises and falls rapidly before I press my lips against her neck.
Let it go
Chapter 13
My bodies on fire with a new need that only Nina can fill. I know this is all kinds of wrong, but feeling her in my arms feels so right.
“This is a bad idea.” I whisper, nipping at her earlobe. She moans softly but does nothing to stop me.
I run my fingers under the hem of the shirt she has on feeling the soft flesh underneath.
“Shit.” Hissing between my teeth, Nina’s head falls back onto my shoulder.
I let my fingers travel further, until I’m caressing the silky skin of her stomach while kissing her neck.
The way her body moves and shifts against my dick is going to kill me if I don’t get inside of her soon.
Grabbing the shirt, I yank it over her head before spinning her in my arms. Her eyes are wide as she looks at me with so much lust.
“I’m not a good guy, Nina. I’m rough and ruthless.” I state. Her tongue runs across her bottom lip and I swear I’m about to cum in my jeans.
Her hands come to land on my stomach, igniting a fire within me. A fire that burns so fucking hot, I can see the ashes in its wake.
The lower her little fingers travel, the more I want her. She grabs the top of my shorts yanking them down my body before standing in front of me.
“I like it rough.” That’s it. I can’t hold back anymore. Her mouth is killing me right now.
Grabbing her roughly around the waist, I lift her, slamming her onto the counter in front of me.
“You better hold on.” Pulling the drawer open next to her, I p
ull out a condom and roll it on quickly.
Yes, we have condoms in every orifice in this house.
Pulling her hips, so she’s closer to the edge, I grin.
“Beautiful.” She spreads her legs further for me as I let out a groan. She’s so ready and willing for me to take her.
Leaning down, I suck her nipple into my mouth before twirling my tongue around it. I love the feeling in my mouth when it hardens into a little bud.
I reach down with one hand, grabbing my dick before edging it closer to her.
“Hold on, sweetheart.” Slamming inside of her, her body tightens around me as she screams my name.
I stand up before gripping her hips, and pulling her closer to the edge of the counter allowing me better access.
Hard, rough, thrusts, have her tits bouncing as I slam my dick so deep it feels like I’m going to pass out.
“Fuck, Nina!” Growling as she screams louder, I keep up the pace but her little body is so tense and on edge, that I can practically feel her orgasm right on the tip.
“Let it go.” Looking down at her, her eyes closed tightly, she cums.
“BLAZE!” Yeah, I like hearing my name leaving a woman’s lips after I’ve made her cum.
Back to business
Chapter 14
Walking into the clubhouse, Nina follows closely behind me.
I didn’t want to leave her at the house by herself.
“You can sit out here or go up to my room. The guys should stay pretty busy.” I tell her. Nina gives me a sad smile before going to take a seat at one of the tables with her back to me.
I stand there and watch her for a minute. I don’t understand this girl. She’s so mysterious to me.
“Blaze! Get in here.” Pres hollers, pulling my attention away from Nina, at least for the moment.
I turn on my heel, and head into the office before dropping into the chair across from him.
“Heard that run went well.” He says. Chuckling slightly, Pres smiles at me.
“Yeah. He’ll have the money in a few days.” I say. Nodding his head, he runs his hand through his greying hair.
“What are you thinkin’ on this Matthew shit?” He asks the obvious. Here we go. Get back to business.
“The girl agreed to help me out. She’s been through this shit before. I don’t know how many times, but Matthew has always paid for her safe return. Shouldn’t be a problem this round either, but since he’s missin’ in action, we have to hunt him.” Pres nods before pulling a cigarette out, offering me one.
I light it up before looking back at him.
“She’s givin’ me the run down on some places he might be at in return for my protection. The guys got a little out of control when they saw her.” Pres grunts before blowing the smoke out of his mouth.
“Heard that. They have minds of their own.” He says.
I wait for his answer. Pres usually never says no to the things I plan. Mainly because my plans are always spot on.
“Alright. Go with it. JP is off the grid for a while with his ole’ lady. Take whoever you need. Keep me updated, though. We have that shit comin’ with the Ruff Ryders.” He reminds me. Nodding my head, this is all stuff I know.
“How’s Shelby?” I ask. Shelby is JP’s wife. She had a run in with another club not so long ago and since he’s the VP of this club, it didn’t go over well.
“They say she has some brain waves. Hard to say.” Sighing, I know how hard that has to be for JP.
“I’ll head up there later. Let him know the club’s here if he needs anything.” Pres glances up at me before he speaks again.
“I’m pullin’ some guys to run up north. The other chapters up there are gettin’ shorthanded. I need to figure out who’s runnin’ shit from there. We can’t afford to take any more hits.”
There is always something going on in this world. Something's we can control, some we can’t.
Either way, we have to work through it and come out stronger.
Somethings never change
Chapter 15
The meeting with Pres went better than I planned on. I’m glad he’s checking into the other shit while I handle Matthew.
The hospital is never a place I want to be. It’s way to clean for my liking.
Nina trails behind me as I head up to see JP. Shoving the door open, he startles before looking over at me.
“Blaze. What’s up, brother.” JP smiles. I move in and hug him.
“How you holdin’ up?” I ask. JP pulls back but his eyes aren’t on me. There on Nina.
“This is Nina. Nina, this is JP. He’s the VP of our club.” I introduce them. Nina steps forward and takes his hand all while JP’s eyes jerk to mine.
“What the fuck is this?” He asks releasing her hand. He eyes me with a new pissed off look on his face.
“She’s helpin’ me out with Matthew. How’s Shelby?” Getting his attention of off Nina and back to why I’m here, he sighs.
“Doc said it’s all the same. We just have to wait and see.” I walk over next to the bed before leaning over and kissing her cheek.
“Wake up for us beautiful.” Whispering in her ear, I run my hand over her hair.
“We’re here ya’ know. Anything you need.” Looking back at JP, he nods.
“I need to go see Ally before we head out.” JP blows out a breath before slapping my shoulder.
“Really sorry about the kid, brother.” He says. Nodding my head, I put my arm around Nina and lead her from the room. I don’t want to talk about that anymore and surely not in Shelby’s room.
We head up the elevator one more floor before walking towards Ally’s room. My stomach is in knots.
I’ve never liked this part of my life. The part when I have to face the music. The consequences of my actions.
Taking another breath to steady myself, I turn to Nina.
“Wait here. I won’t be long.” Nina nods her head before I shove through the door to Ally’s room.
There she is. The woman I thought I loved for a long time. The one I couldn’t pull away from even when she’s torn my heart apart a million times.
“You awake?” My voice comes out gravely but she turns to face me. Her eyes are red and glazed over.
“Blaze. Baby, you came.” She says motioning for me to come closer. I do but that regret sits in the back of my throat like a bomb waiting to explode.
“Just wanted to see how you were feelin’.” I hate it. The look, the fucking look in her eyes as she’s high as a fucking kite.
“I just, I don’t know. I need you, Blaze.” Pulling my head down to her chest, she runs her hands through my hair.
“We can’t keep doin’ this, Ally. You’re lyin’ here after killin’ another baby high out of your mind.” The words weren’t meant to hurt her, not really anyway.
Ally shoves me away from her as she glares at me.
“That’s why you came here? To fucking say that to me? Fuck you Blaze! You know I don’t want kids anyway!” She screams without any regret. Rage eats at me but I know I need to keep my cool or I’ll strangle her with my bare hands.
“I wanted it though! Does that mean nothin’? Does what I want mean anything to you!” The giggle that escapes her gives me every answer I need.
“Somethings never change do they, Ally.”
I once thought Ally was the world. I thought she was the air that I breathed but not anymore. Not after what I’ve seen her change into.
She’s morphed into something that I can never change. She will never be worthy of a life that she once deserved.
I turn to leave all the while listening to her giggle to herself.
Who the hell are you?
Chapter 16
I had to get out of there. That hospital was eating me alive and spitting me out in pieces.
Driving towards the address Nina gave me, my stomach is clenched tight.
I thought I knew Ally. I thought she loved me and cared but all she cares about is her damn drugs a
nd how she’s going to get her next fix. I need to shake this shit from my head. I need to be thinking straight. I don’t know what it is that I’m about to get into.
Nina’s hand comes across the middle resting on my arm but she’s not looking at me.
The simple gesture stirs things that I’ve long since held out of sight.
I don’t say anything and she doesn’t move her hand as I keep driving.
“When we get there, I don’t want you out of the truck. Can’t take the chance of someone seein’ you.” I tell her. I glance around at the area and it doesn’t seem like something that asshole would be in but who the hell knows.
“Ok. I won’t get out.” She says as I pull up to the curb and stop. I glance over at her and say, “No smartass comment?” Nina shakes her head, her face impassive.
“I’m pretty sure you have a lot on your mind after the hospital.” Everything about this girl throws me off. Why would she even give a shit about what happened to me at the hospital?
“Grey house, Green shutters. Ask for Roy.” She says when I don’t move. My eyes stay glued to the side of her head but she never once makes an attempt to look back at me.
It’s a strange truce that we have here.
Climbing out, I lock the doors before making my way across the street to the house.
Stepping up to the door, I knock.
A big man that looks like he’s made of a fucking tree trunk opens it glaring at me.
“I’m lookin’ for Roy.” I say. He raises his eyebrows and the thought that she might have sent me into my own death flashes through my mind. It is possible, I don’t know shit about that girl.
“And you are?” Eyeing me up and down, he finally comes to rest on my name patch.
“Who the fuck you roll with?” He asks in a nasty tone. Shit. I forgot to take my cut off before coming up here. Sometimes being unknown is better.
