by Judi Curtin
Aaaaargh.
As soon as they saw me, Mum and Dad ran over to me and hugged and kissed me.
Don’t they watch TV?
Don’t they know that kids my age really hate it when their parents kiss them in public?
Can’t they remember what it was like to be young?
Or do they just do it out of spite – a little payback for all the times I dropped my clothes on the floor and left the bathroom tap dripping?
Rosie ran over to Alice who picked her up and swung her around. Those two had always been great buddies. Luckily, even Hazel seemed to think that Rosie was cute. She tickled her, and gave her a sweet from her pocket. I giggled. Pity Mum didn’t see that – if she had, she’d have tried to get Hazel expelled from the camp immediately, and all my troubles would have been over at once.
Dad looked at his watch.
‘Come on you lot,’ he said. ‘It’s a lovely sunny day, and I don’t want to spend it here in the car park. Let’s go.’
Mum looked at Alice.
‘Are your parents coming to see you today?’ she asked.
Alice shook her head.
‘No. They’d like to, of course, but they’re very busy.’
Mum didn’t look very pleased to hear that. She was never too busy to give attention to Rosie and me. This was of course both a good and a bad thing – mostly bad.
Then she smiled at Alice.
‘Maybe you’d like to come out with us for the day? You’d be very welcome, and I’m sure Megan would like to have you along.’
That was a totally brilliant idea. I could have kissed Mum, and right then I didn’t care who was watching.
Alice looked a bit doubtful.
‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘That’s very nice of you, but …’
She stopped talking and looked at Hazel. I looked at Hazel too, and tried to make up my mind. Which would be worse – bringing Hazel and putting up with her for the day, or leaving her here with Alice?
If she came along with us, would she spend the last week of the camp mocking my mum’s crazy ways, and my dad’s so-not-funny jokes?
I had a pain in my head from trying to decide what to do, but in the end, Mum decided for me.
‘Sorry, Megan,’ she said. ‘We only have one spare seat belt. We can bring Alice, but I’m afraid we won’t have room for your other friend.’
I didn’t speak. It wasn’t the time or the place to mention that Hazel was no friend of mine, and that if I never saw her again it would be too soon.
We all looked at Alice and waited to see what she had to say. Like me, she seemed to be having trouble making up her mind. At last she spoke.
‘Thanks, Sheila, but I think I’ll stay here – otherwise Hazel will be on her own for the day, and she’ll be bored.’
‘Her parents might show up,’ I said.
Hazel made a face at me.
‘They probably won’t. Thanks for staying with me Alice.’
Then, before anyone could say anything else, she put her arm around Alice’s shoulder and practically dragged her back into the school. I waved good-bye, but neither of them saw me.
Mum shook her head.
‘What a pushy girl!’ she said.
You don’t know half of it, I thought as I climbed into the back of the car with Rosie. I wished I could tell Mum what was going on, but I knew it would have been a mistake. Mum would have dived in to try to sort everything out, and then everything would end up even worse than before. So I didn’t say any more, as Dad revved up the car and we set off for our day out.
* * *
We had a lovely time. It was really warm so we decided to go to the beach. For a while I made sandcastles with Rosie, Dad read the paper, and Mum did her knitting. She was knitting something in thick, hard wool the colour of green slime. It was probably a surprise jumper for someone – a very scary surprise. I hoped it wasn’t for me.
After a while, we were all hot and sweaty, so we decided to go for a swim. It was fun, once I got over the shock of seeing my family’s swimming clothes. (After two weeks with normal people, I’d almost forgotten how weird my family was.) Mum’s swimming togs were huge and covered with fading flowers. They looked like they had once belonged to her granny’s granny. Poor Rosie was wearing a floppy bikini that looked suspiciously as if Mum had knitted it. (Luckily Rosie is too young to be as embarrassed as she should be by that sort of thing.) Dad was in horrible, tight shiny swimming trunks that made a lot of people stare at him, and two little boys laugh out loud.
We swam until we were all shivery and my fingers were turning white. Then we raced back to our stuff and wrapped ourselves in our towels and tried not to think cold thoughts.
When we were all dry and warm again, Mum started to root around in one of the huge bags she always seems to carry around with her.
‘I’ve brought a picnic,’ she said with a big grin – like that was something that would make us all jump up and down with joy.
First she pulled out a bag of bananas, but it looked like someone had sat on them. They were so badly squashed that even Mum (who thinks wasting food is almost as bad as killing someone) didn’t try to insist that we eat them.
Next she rooted in another bag and produced a pack of (and I’m not joking here) chick-pea sandwiches. For the millionth time I wondered why I couldn’t have had a mum who put normal stuff in sandwiches like ham or chicken or cheese. The sandwiches had been left lying in the sun, though, and they smelled so bad that even Dad wouldn’t eat them. (And he’d eat practically anything).
‘Oh well,’ said Mum. ‘Looks like we’ll have to go straight on to our treat.’ As she spoke she pulled out another package. ‘It’s my special sugar-free, fat-free cookies.’
I sighed. I should have known she wouldn’t have brought a real treat. Mum’s sugar-free, fat-free cookies were also taste-free – unless you think dried-up sawdust has a taste.
Rosie squealed.
‘Yippee. Cookies,’ she said, jumping in the air. As she landed, she knocked the package from Mum’s hand and the cookies flew into the sand. For a minute I thought Rosie had done it deliberately, then I remembered that Rosie is so innocent, she actually likes Mum’s cookies. The poor child doesn’t know what real cookies are supposed to taste like.
‘Ooops. Sorry, Mum,’ she said.
So that was the end of Mum’s picnic.
I tried not to look too happy.
‘There’s nothing for it,’ said Mum. ‘I’ll have to walk to the nearest shop and buy us some food.’
I gulped. There was no telling what she’d bring back. There was every chance we’d end up sitting on the beach eating cold butter beans, or something totally gross like that.
Dad must have seen the scared look on my face.
‘No, Sheila,’ he said. ‘That wouldn’t be fair. You were up early packing all that lovely food for us. You rest here with the girls, and I’ll go and buy us something to eat.’
After Mum had spent twenty minutes telling him about the food pyramid, and hydrogenated fats and all that boring stuff, Dad set off for the shop.
Fifteen minutes later, he was back with a huge foil bag under his arm. As he came close, a beautiful smell wafted towards me. My mouth started to water – that definitely wasn’t the smell of butter beans.
‘Look what I got,’ said Dad proudly, opening the bag so we could all see.
Mum actually went pale when she saw that the bag was full of potato wedges, chicken nuggets, and sausages.
‘Sorry, love. It’s all they had,’ said Dad, but he winked at me when Mum wasn’t looking, so I had a funny feeling he wasn’t telling the complete truth.
Dad sat down and divided out the food. Mum kept going on about how bad it was for us, and how ashamed she’d be if any of her friends came along and saw her poisoning her family in public. I thought that it would serve her right if her family embarrassed her in public – at least she’d see how I spend most of my life. I didn’t say that though – I was too busy pi
cking non-organic meat off non-organic chicken bones.
Rosie ate loads of the wedges. I don’t think she’d ever had anything like that before. She kept on patting her tummy, and saying ‘yum-yum’.
Dad and I laughed, but Mum looked as if she’d love to grab what was left of the food and dump it in the nearest bin. She is so totally uptight when it comes to food.
In the end Dad said,
‘Lighten up, Sheila. One bad meal won’t kill the child.’ And to our surprise, Mum did lighten up, and she even laughed at herself. And when she thought no-one was looking she ate three potato wedges and four chicken nuggets.
Chapter fourteen
It was nearly tea-time when I got back to camp. I hugged Rosie, then I got out of the car and closed the door behind me. Mum and Dad wound down their windows. Mum was building up for a big emotional farewell scene, but Dad was in a hurry home because there was a rugby match on the television later that he wanted to watch, so I was saved.
I stood in the driveway and waved as they drove off. Dad can be a bit of a pain sometimes, and Mum is a total embarrassment most of the time, but in a way it was nice and simple being around them. I could be myself, and I knew they loved me no matter what, and even if I said something stupid, they wouldn’t go on and on about it forever. Sometimes it was easier than being with friends.
As soon as the car was gone from view, I went up to my room. There was no sign of Alice or Hazel. I walked around all the places I thought they could have been, but I couldn’t find them anywhere. In the end, I found Gloria lying on a rug behind a hedge in the garden. She was rubbing sun protection cream into her arms. I was puzzled. Her skin was so dark already, it was hard to imagine the sun doing anything at all to it except making it nice and warm. She looked up and saw me. I didn’t know if it was rude, but I had to ask.
‘Are you hoping to get a tan?’
Gloria gave one of her big laughs.
‘Do you think I look a bit pale?’
I could feel my face going red.
‘No. I mean yes. I mean…’
Gloria laughed again.
‘Black skin burns too you know,’ she said.
I didn’t know that. I felt a bit stupid so I said quickly,
‘Have you seen Alice anywhere?’
Gloria nodded.
‘Yes, I saw her just after you left this morning. Hazel’s parents came to take her out, and they took Alice with them. They should be back soon.’
She stopped and then she said suddenly.
‘Actually, I’ve just remembered they won’t be back soon. Hazel’s parents asked Mrs Duggan if they could keep the girls out for dinner.’
Great. Alice got to spend the whole day with Hazel and now they were hanging out in some fancy restaurant, while I was stuck at camp on my own.
Gloria sat up.
‘Is everything OK Megan?’ she asked.
I nodded, even though I felt like screaming or stamping my foot or crying or something.
Gloria patted the rug beside her and I felt I had to sit down.
‘You and Alice are good friends, aren’t you?’
I nodded again.
‘It’s tough when your friend makes other friends, isn’t it?’
I nodded.
‘Want my advice?’
I didn’t know if I did want her advice. Gloria was very kind, and I knew she was trying to help, but I could still remember how she had tried to help me by telling Alice she had to be my partner in the talent show. That hadn’t turned out very well, had it? But it would have been rude to say no, so I nodded yet again.
‘Yes, please. Tell me what you think I should do.’
Gloria smiled at me. ‘Just try to relax. If you and Alice are real good friends, it will take more than a few weeks at summer camp to ruin it. Have fun with Alice, but don’t crowd her. Hang out with the other kids too.’
But I was hanging out with the other kids. I liked Sarah, and Sam was good fun, but that wasn’t enough.
All I really wanted was for Alice to still be my friend.
Only problem was – all Hazel wanted was for Alice not to be my friend.
‘It’ll all work out in end, you’ll see.’ Gloria lay back on her rug, and closed her eyes. I could tell that the conversation was over.
‘Thanks Gloria,’ I said in the happiest voice I could manage, and I went up to my room and waited for tea-time.
It was nearly nine o’clock by the time Alice and Hazel got back. I was up in my room, trying to read, but not able to concentrate. I heard them before I saw them – chatting and giggling like they’d known each other for ever, not for just a few weeks.
They burst into the room, all happy and excited. Alice was so wound-up she couldn’t stop talking.
‘Oh, Megan. We’ve had such a fun day,’ she said. ‘Hazel’s family is sooo cool.’
Great. Trust Hazel to have a cool family, when I was stuck with the least cool family on the planet.
‘They’re just back from Dubai, you know,’ continued Alice. ‘And Hazel’s brother is sooo funny. He’s called Lee. He’s Hazel’s twin, but they don’t look alike. He’s much better looking than she is.’
Hazel gave her a kick in the leg, when she said this, but I was sorry to see that it was a friendly kind of kick. The kind of kick you only give to people you like.
Alice stopped to catch her breath, and then went on.
‘Lee’s friend came out with us too. He’s called Conor. He’s nice, but not as nice as Lee.’ She gave a sly look towards Hazel.
‘Hazel likes Conor, though. A lot.’
‘But what about Jordan?’ I blurted out at Hazel. ‘I thought you liked Jordan.’
Hazel gave a bored sigh.
‘Oh, Jordan,’ she said. ‘Jordan is so last week.’
Poor Jordan, I thought at first – before I realised that he was lucky Jordan to have escaped from the evil Hazel.
Alice gave a small laugh, and continued the account of her day.
‘First we went bowling, and then we had lunch in this really cool place, and then we went out on a really cool boat because Hazel’s dad knows the guy who owns it, and then we went to a really cool restaurant for dinner, and Lee and Conor played this real cool trick on the waiter, but he didn’t mind, well not very much anyway, and …’
And on and on and on she went. In the end I thought if she said the word ‘cool’ one more time, I’d have to jump up and punch her in the face or something. And all the time Hazel was watching her with a small smile on her face, like having such a ‘cool’ family was no big deal. (But she must have known it was. After all, she’d seen my family, and even a blind person couldn’t call them cool.)
After ages, Alice must have noticed that I wasn’t quite as enthusiastic about her day as she was. She stopped suddenly.
‘Sorry, Megan,’ she said. ‘I’ve been going on a bit, haven’t I?’
I was so happy that she’d stopped at last that I decided not to give her a hard time. ‘It’s OK,’ I said. ‘I’m glad you had a nice day.’
That was the truth actually. I was glad that she’d had a nice day. I just wasn’t very glad that Hazel had been a part of it. I wished Alice could have had a nice day with me.
‘Anyway,’ Alice said. ‘What about you? What did you do? Did you have a nice time with your family?’
What could I say to that?
I’d had a lovely day out. I’d had fun making endless sandcastles with Rosie, and swimming in the sea. Dad buying the chicken nuggets and the sausages and the potato wedges had been really funny. Still, I knew if I described my day to Alice and Hazel, it would suddenly sound stupid. My day would have sounded totally dull if you compared it with the fun day Alice and Hazel had.
I shrugged.
‘It was OK I suppose. Parent stuff, you know, kind of boring.’
And Alice didn’t ask me any more about it.
* * *
In bed that night, I kept hearing beeps and seeing flashes from Alice and
Hazel’s phones. At first I thought they were texting each other – telling each other secret stuff about their day out that they didn’t want me to hear.
Then I had a horrible thought.
Were they writing stuff about me?
Was Hazel mocking me and my family?
And was Alice letting her?
For a while I pretended not to care. I listened to my Walkman. (I decided to take a chance, because it was dark, so Hazel couldn’t see it.)
In the end though, I couldn’t take it any more. I pretended I needed to go to the toilet, and when I got back into the bedroom, I kind of casually went and sat on Alice’s bed. She was smiling to herself as she read her latest message.
‘Who are you texting?’ I asked, trying to sound like I didn’t really care all that much – like it wasn’t driving me totally crazy, wondering what was going on.
Alice looked up, as if she’d just remembered that I existed.
‘Oh, hi Megan,’ she said. ‘It’s just Conor and Lee. They are soooo funny. Look at this.’
She held the phone towards me and I read the message. It was very long, and was about a bowl of carrot soup and a slice of bread and it didn’t make any sense at all to me.
Then Alice said,
‘Oh, sorry, Meg. You wouldn’t get that one. It’s a joke about something Lee said today.’
She leaned out of bed, and held the phone over to Hazel. As soon as Hazel read the message she fell into a fit of laughing like it was the funniest thing she’d ever in her life read. I felt like throwing my uncool, ancient Walkman at her, because I knew that half the reason she was laughing was because she knew that I didn’t get the joke.
I went back to my bed and climbed in. I heard my Walkman clatter down onto the floor. It sounded as if it might be broken.
I didn’t care.
I didn’t care about anything except that I had never in my whole life felt as left out of things as I did at that moment.
Chapter fifteen
Next morning I was kind of glad when the time came for Alice and Hazel to go off to their tennis course. I thought I’d scream if I had to hear another word about Conor or Lee or the ‘cool’ time they’d all had together.
