“Ella, what are you doing?” He stared at her as she turned to face him. Once more he was struck by her beauty as the moonlight framed her against the water.
“Being spontaneous—like you said. Are you coming in?” She reached for his hand.
He drew back before she could grab it. “I’m not interested in getting my pants wet.” He eyed her as she inched back in the water further.
“So take them off.” She grinned.
“Your skirt is going to get soaked if you’re not careful.”
“So I’ll take it off.” She grabbed the hem of her skirt and started to pull it up.
Dane turned around before he could see more than what he thought he should. “Ella, please.” His cheeks were hot as he stared off across the empty beach.
“What? You’ve never been skinny-dipping before?”
“Not with someone I just met.”
“So you have.”
“Not like this.” He tensed as he felt her hands snake over his shoulders in a soothing rub. He refused to turn back to face her, as he had no idea what he might see.
“Are you sure I can’t tempt you?”
He caught her hands as they began to rub down over his chest. “Ella.” His voice was calm but his grip was firm. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but this is a little too much for me.”
“Seriously?” She pulled her hands back from his. He heard the water slosh as she walked around in front of him. He was relieved to see that she still had her dress on. “You’re turning me down? I wasn’t even going to offer, but you seemed so—I don’t know—lonely, I guess.”
“I’m not lonely.” He met her eyes and did his best to hide his frustration.
“You invited me to take a walk on the beach. I thought you wanted to—you know…” She quirked a brow. “You don’t?”
“I’m not that kind of guy, Ella. I’m sorry. I mean no offense, but you’re moving way too fast for me.” He shook his head. “I guess Thomas was right about the dating scene. I’m definitely not ready for anything like this. I should go.” He started to walk out of the water, but Ella stepped in front of him.
“Is this some kind of ploy? Are you trying to make me think that you’re the last great gentleman on Earth?”
“I’m not trying to make you think anything, Ella. I asked you to take a walk with me because—well, I wanted to get to know you better.”
“Which is what we were doing.” She narrowed her eyes. “What’s the problem?”
“I want to get to know you, Ella.” He touched her shoulder gently. “Not your body.” He dropped his eyes for a moment to avoid the anger he felt rise in him, then he looked back at her. “This is just another way that you hide. Don’t you see that? You meet some guy and throw yourself at him?”
“Hey, wait just a minute. I wasn’t throwing myself at you!” She snapped her words.
He realized he’d lost his grip on being polite.
“I thought you wanted to have some fun,” she said. “I was just trying to loosen you up a little bit. I never said we were going any further than that. How dare you accuse me of something like that?”
He raised an eyebrow and looked into her eyes. “So you’re telling me that I’m wrong? That if I threw off my clothes and jumped in the water with you this wouldn’t have ended up the way I predicted? Am I so boring that you couldn’t imagine that happening?”
“Dane, you’re way off-base.” She crossed her arms and turned to walk out of the water.
Dane followed after her. He reached out and caught her elbow before she could escape him. “I’m not the one out of line here, Ella. You’re telling me that after one dinner, you’re ready to take things to such an intimate place?”
“Oh, please.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s just a naked body—just sex. You really are from the ice ages.”
“I guess I am.” He let his hand fall away from her elbow. “Because to me, it would never be just a naked body. It would be your beautiful body. It would never just be sex. It would be an expression of trust and desire—for one special person. I thought maybe there was something here, but I guess we have two very different ideas of what that might be.”
Chapter 16
Ella wasn’t sure if she was more furious or embarrassed, but her face was hot. She stared back at him with her shoulders high. He’d managed to pluck every nerve she had.
“I guess we do seem to have different ideas of what’s going on here, since you basically just called me easy.”
“I did no such thing.” He took a step closer to her, his gaze steady.
She looked back into his eyes without backing down. “No?”
“No.” He took her hand in his.
She wanted to pull back, but she couldn’t get her mind and body to communicate to one another.
“I would never call you that. You’re a wonderful woman, Ella, I can see that. You’re fun, passionate—you have your own ways and I can respect that. But I have mine too. What you want, at least what I think you want—maybe a few hours of ecstasy—that’s not what I would ever want from you. In fact, I’m not even sure what I do want. But I can tell you that if we spent the night together, I wouldn’t be disappearing the next day. It wouldn’t be an adventure that you could mark off on your calendar. If that’s what you want, then you have the wrong man. That’s all I’m trying to say.”
She shook her head. “You’re really strange, Dane.”
“I warned you that I might be.”
“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I was just trying to give you what I thought you wanted.”
“I know that.” He drew her hand to his lips. “But I’m not interested in what you think I want. You should be more interested in what you want.”
She watched as if she was someone else viewing the moment from a distance, as he brushed his lips across her knuckles and the back of her hand to leave a soft kiss. Her heart fluttered. His words only made her angrier. She didn’t want to feel what she felt for him. Maybe that was why she had pushed the envelope. She wanted to get it, whatever was brewing in her, out of her system and move on.
“I can tell you that I’m not interested in lectures.”
“Fine.” He released her hand. “I’m not giving any.”
“Did you ever consider that maybe you’re hiding too?” She pursed her lips. “Obviously, you’ve been out of the dating scene for a long time, Dane. Why? What are you afraid of?”
He looked away from her and cleared his throat. “Maybe it’s time we call it a night.”
“I think you’re right.” She turned away from him. As she walked back to her shoes, she tried to calm herself down. Her mixed emotions left her feeling dizzy. Was she furious? Was she infatuated?
She reached down to pick up her high heels in the same moment that Dane reached for his sneakers, knocking their hands together.
“Sorry.” He muttered his words and snatched up his shoes.
“Didn’t I tell you to stop apologizing?”
“I don’t see how I can stop apologizing when you are offended by everything I say.” He sat down to tug on his socks.
“I’m not offended.”
He looked up at her. “You could have fooled me.”
“I might have been a little offended. I think we just speak a different language.”
He sighed as he tied his shoes. “I get it. Don’t worry, Ella. We had a nice meal. I’m clearly a bit boring for your taste.”
She watched as he tied his laces. As he moved to tie his other shoe she reached out and stopped his hand.
“I don’t think you’re boring, Dane.” She waited until he looked over at her. “I’m sorry. I’m a pretty impulsive person. I take things too far sometimes.”
“What did you say about apologizing to me? I think that applies to you too.”
“Good.” She smiled and held his gaze. “You’re intriguing too, you know.”
“You think?” He smiled a little. “I thought you said I was b
oring.”
“I think we need the chance to get to know one another better—if you’re still intrigued, that is?” Her heart raced as she awaited his response. Would he still want anything to do with her? She wasn’t entirely sure why she cared, but there was no question that she did.
The length of time that he looked at her in silence made her wonder if she was crazy to even ask.
“You’d like to get to know me better?”
“Yes, Dane. I would like to get to know you better.” She looked back into his eyes. “Do you want to get to know me better?”
He was silent again—for just a moment—before he nodded.
“We’re going snorkeling tomorrow—my son and I. Would you like to join us? I’ll keep an eye on you.”
“Snorkeling? I can honestly say that is something that I’ve never done.”
“Well, then you’ll fit right in. Thomas and I haven’t done it before either.”
“That sounds like fun. You don’t think your son will mind?”
“I’m sure he won’t.” Dane grinned. He could imagine his son high-fiving him the moment he shared the news.
“Okay. I’d love to join you. What time?”
“Ten.” He brushed her hair back from the shoulder of her dress. “Will you make it? Or am I going to have to be patient?”
“I’ll do my best.” She caught his hand as it fell away from her shoulder. “Thanks for an interesting night, Dane. I have to say, you are full of surprises.”
“I’m the one with all of the surprises?” He smiled. “I have a feeling you have a few of your own to reveal.”
“Hm, maybe revealing isn’t the best bet with you.” She winked at him.
She could hear him laughing as she walked away from him.
With every step she took toward the parking lot, her heart lurched. By the time she got back to her cottage, she thought she might need to lie down. Her skirt was damp at the hem when she pulled her dress off.
She recalled the determined way that Dane had refused to look at her when he’d thought she’d been undressed in the water. Even Louis hadn’t been that proper.
In fact, she and Louis had been together on their first date. Now she knew that he probably looked at her the same way she looked at the men she dated—as just a fun time. But on that first night, Ella didn’t see Louis that way. She’d idolized him from the first moment she’d seen him. He’d been handsome and confident, and he’d wanted her.
Back then, she’d thought that was love. But never once had Louis made her feel the way that Dane seemed to be making her feel when he looked at her. She recalled Dane’s lips on the back of her hand, the way he gazed into her eyes, his demand that she think of her own desires. It was strange, but it set something free within her that she didn’t even realize was locked away.
She grabbed her phone and typed out an e-mail to Nicole.
Nicole,
It looks like I’ve gotten myself into something wild. I’ve never felt this way before. Don’t hold this over my head, but I have to ask you a question. I thought I knew from being with Louis, but now I’m wondering…what does it feel like to fall in love?
Ella
She stared at the e-mail for a long moment. Nicole would give her the best advice, since she claimed to have found her soulmate just recently. But was Ella ready to even consider it? She hovered her finger over the phone. At the last moment, she hit delete instead of send.
She stared across the cottage at the bare wall.
Whatever Dane was doing to her, she wasn’t sure if she wanted it to continue.
Chapter 17
Dane stared at the clock. He’d been up all night. It was ridiculous, but he was as excited as a kid before a fun trip.
Around two Thomas came in, but Dane pretended to be asleep. He didn’t want to ask Thomas what he was up to, and he didn’t want to tell Thomas about his encounter with Ella. It was hard for him to understand what that encounter had even been. They’d insisted that it wouldn’t be a date, and yet it had seemed to turn into one. He knew he’d crossed a line when he kissed her hand, but he couldn’t help it. The beauty he saw in her was mesmerizing to him.
It wasn’t even that Ella reminded him of Pam. She had a completely different look and personality. It was something similar to what he’d felt for Pam, but somehow more intense. Perhaps it was because he now knew what it was like to love like that—and to lose that love. Or maybe he was trying to convince himself that there was something there that wasn’t.
By the time the sun peeked through the window, he vowed that he would make a real effort to get to know Ella. Maybe it wouldn’t lead to anything. Maybe it would lead to everything.
He climbed out of bed and threw on some swim trunks. Then he walked over to Thomas’s bed. His son’s mouth hung open as he snored. He had some kind of feathers in his hair. There was a lipstick mark on his cheek.
Dane gritted his teeth and reminded himself that his son was an adult.
“Thomas, let’s go. We’re going to be late.” Dane pushed on his shoulder in an attempt to wake him.
“No, Dad.” Thomas moaned. “I want to sleep.”
“But it’s snorkeling, remember?”
“Please, I just want to sleep.” He buried his head under a pillow. “Please let me sleep.”
Dane looked down at his son for a moment. He knew that Thomas hadn’t gotten back to the room until late. “Alright, that’s fine. We’ll catch up later.”
He headed out of the hotel room and down to the lobby. When he pushed through the door to step outside, he was surprised to find Ella standing there.
She held out a cup of coffee to him. “Good morning.”
“Good morning and thank you.” He took the cup of coffee. “I knew you were full of surprises.”
“I thought I’d make up for being late last night. Does this help?”
“It sure does.”
“Where’s Thomas?”
“He’s not coming. I’m guessing he had a little too much fun last night.” He smiled and shook his head. “He’s taking this turning eighteen thing pretty seriously.”
“Didn’t you when you turned eighteen?”
A smile drifted across his lips as he walked toward the water. “I think I was in a different place when I turned eighteen.”
“Oh? What kind of place?”
Dane glanced over at her. He didn’t know her very well, but he wanted to be completely honest with her. “I was in love.”
“Oh, I bet that happened a few times around that age.” Ella slipped her arm through his as they walked. “I know it happened to me a few times.”
“No.” He gazed out across the water. “Only once.”
“Once? In high school?” She looked over at him with a raised eyebrow.
“Once ever.” He paused near the meeting spot for the snorkeling excursion.
“You’re not serious?” Ella drew back from him.
He followed her movement with a curious smile.
“Do you think that I’m lying?”
“No. I’m just surprised.”
“Well.” He looked back out over the water and rocked back on his heels. “She was it.”
“How long have you two been divorced?”
“We’re not.” He stole a glance in her direction.
“Oh.” She moved a few steps away from him. “I just assumed—since you were here alone. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were married.”
“I’m not.” He turned toward her. “She passed away.”
“Dane.” She took his hand in hers. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s been some time.” He met her eyes. “My friends tell me I should be able to move on, but for me, there are still moments that it seems no time has passed at all.”
“I understand that.” She squeezed his hand in hers. “Not like you do, of course, but I have moments I have a hard time moving on from myself.”
“Your one true love?”
“I don’t know. I g
uess.” She drew a deep breath and shook her head. “I thought so anyway. It turned out it was pretty one-sided.”
“Then I’m sorry.” He continued to hold her hand as he looked out across the water. “Losing Pam was the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced, but not experiencing her love would have been even harder.”
“Really?” Ella tilted her head to the side. Tendrils of her hair were whipped across her face by the strengthening wind. He reached up without a second thought and brushed the hair away.
“Really. Every moment was worth it.” He smiled. “Weren’t there any special memories that made your relationship worth it?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I never want to feel that kind of pain again. When he looked me in the eye, and said it was never real…” She lowered her eyes and her voice faltered. “It was pretty hard for me to get over.”
“Of course. I know that kind of loss.”
“It’s not the same. I know that. He didn’t die.”
“Maybe not, but the man you thought you were in love with kind of did. I can’t imagine what it would have felt like if Pam had looked me in the eye and said that she’d never loved me.”
Ella was looking at him in a way that made him feel sad for the pain of what she’d gone through.
“Doesn’t it make you frightened to ever—you know—try again?”
“Yes.” Dane sighed and gave her hand a squeeze “Yes, it does.” He turned to her to say more, but a man walked toward them. “I think this is the instructor.”
“Hi there. It looks like there’s a storm rolling in. Sorry, but with the weather, I’m not sure that we’re going to be able to go out at all today. This storm wasn’t supposed to come in until tomorrow. Hopefully it’ll blow through fast enough that the water will be calm and clear tomorrow.”
“Okay.” Dane frowned. “I guess we’ll try again tomorrow.”
To Trust Again: A Sweet Romance (Forty and Free Book 2) Page 6
