I nodded.
“Does she grow vegetables?”
I nodded.
“Could our class visit her greenhouse and see her vegetables?”
On the outside, I nodded. But inside, I wanted to cry. Because we didn’t have Earth vegetables in our greenhouse. Mom would have to plant some fast.
“Very good,” said Mrs. McGreen. “I will call her later.”
Mrs. Parrot, the science teacher, came into the health room. “Are you ready?” she asked Mrs. McGreen.
She nodded and said, “Class, we have an announcement.”
Mrs. Parrot said, “Here is what you get to do. You get to try out vegetable recipes. Won’t this be fantastic?”
She waited. But no one said anything.
Mrs. Parrot said, “You get to find vegetable recipes that you like. In two and a half weeks, we will have Nutrition Day!”
That meant Nutrition Day would be the same week as the F.O.P. Parade. That would be a busy week.
“You must bring samples of your favorite recipe for everyone to taste,” Mrs. Parrot said. “Isn’t that fantastic?”
She waited.
Bree said, “It sounds—yummy?”
I groaned.
Freddy asked, “Will there be prizes?”
“Maybe,” Mrs. Parrot said. “We can try to have prizes.”
Mrs. McGreen said, “We will tell you your partner now. We want you to partner with someone who has a different family life. That way, you’ll get to try different foods. I wanted to work with Aja or Freddy or Bree.
Instead, I got Ting. Her grandfather came from China, which is on the other side of Earth. When we first came to Earth, we almost landed in China. Bree was working with Aja, and Freddy was working with Mario.
Mrs. Parrot said, “OK. You will sit with your partner for the rest of class. You can talk about food you want your partner to try. This is fantastic.”
Ting liked to eat hamburgers and pizza, just like every other kid in third grade. But her family knew lots about eating Chinese food and eating with chopsticks.
Eating with sticks sounded fun. I didn’t like Earthling forks anyway.
Ting has straight black hair and dark eyes. She said, “Your eyes are strange. Are they silver or what? Where did your parents come from?”
“They traveled around a lot,” I answered the second question.
“What is your favorite food?” she asked.
I wanted to say grawlies, but I couldn’t tell her about that.
Ting didn’t wait for an answer anyway. She said, “I love cicadas on a stick.”
“What is that?”
“Big brown bugs.”
Oh, no! Not bugs again. “Are you serious?” I looked across the room to Bree and Aja. I bet they weren’t talking about eating bugs.
“Yes. We went to China last year to visit my cousins. And I ate cicadas on a stick. And scorpions on a stick. Very good. Crunchy and salty.”
Some Earthling girls have no taste.
All that week, Dad worked on the Alien Chaser App problem. He went to Freddy’s house, and his Mom played piano while Dad recorded her playing “Home on the Range.” He didn’t explain his plan, but I trusted him to take care of the App.
Meanwhile, one day after school, Mom drove Bree and me to City Hall.
It is a big building with a dome. That is a huge half-ball thing on top of the building. The dome was full of stained glass, all red and blue and yellow. The sunlight came through the colored glass and made the inside of City Hall look like a party.
“Where do we get a permit for a parade?” Mom asked a guard.
“Follow the signs.” He pointed to an arrow that said, “Mayor’s Office.”
I was still looking all around City Hall when we went around the corner and I ran right into someone. We both fell in a heap. The man was bald, except his head was covered with a yellow rug or something. But my replicator would be sad to make fake hair that bad.
Mom helped us both up and said, “So sorry.”
But the man stuck out his chest and stood very tall. “Do you know who I am?”
Bree spoke in a choked voice. “Mayor Lucky?”
“That’s right. And this is my City Hall.”
Bree frowned. “My mother is a lawyer. She says that City Hall belongs to the people.”
“Yes, yes,” Mayor Lucky said. “But I run City Hall.”
Mom shook her head as if to say it was time to get down to business. “We were just coming to see you, Mr. Mayor. We need to ask for a parade permit.”
The Mayor sighed. “It’s the Friends of Police parade, right? Come this way.”
He led us to a big office door. He pulled it open and let us inside. It was a big room with lots of wood and huge chairs.
When everyone was seated, the Mayor said, “What will you do about the horse apples?”
“Um,” Mom said.
“I don’t want poop left all over my streets.”
“What?” I was confused.
“Horse apples,” the Mayor said.
“You know. Horse poop.”
“Oh,” Bree said.
“Look,” Mayor Lucky said. “I told Chief Glendale that the mounted police can be in the parade. But only if the horses wear diapers.”
“Diapers?” Bree sounded shocked.
“Yes,” Mayor Lucky said. “Horse diapers are bags that go under a horse’s tail and it catches the horse apples. But Chief Glendale said, ‘No.’”
Mom asked, “Is there any other way to take care of the horse apples?”
“Well, someone could follow along and pick up the horse apples.”
Bree said, “Oh, is that all? We can make sure someone does that. It’s like taking a baggie with you when you take a dog for a walk.”
Mayor Lucky shrugged. Then he reached into a drawer and pulled out some papers and handed them to Mom. “Here’s the application for a parade permit. If there’s even one horse apple left on the parade route, I will fine you $500.”
Mom flipped through the pages. “Ten pages for a parade permit?”
“That’s the short form,” Mayor Lucky said. “And I’ll need that by tomorrow. Paperwork takes a long time.”
“Yes, sir,” Mom sighed. “Let’s go, kids.”
But Bree went up to the Mayor and held out her hand. “It was a pleasure to meet you, sir. Someday, I will be the Mayor.” It sounded like her Mom’s lawyer voice.
The Mayor turned around, and the yellow rug on his head tilted to the right. He reached up and straightened it out. Then he looked at Bree’s hand.
He reached out and shook Bree’s hand. “Always a pleasure to meet a voter,” he said. And then he turned his back on her.
Bree grinned at me. And that made the sun come out and shine inside me. I was proud of her. That Bree. Someday, she was going to be a great Earthling Mayor.
Outside City Hall, Bree said, “Kell, we need to walk home along the parade route.”
A parade route means the streets where the parade will go.
“OK,” I said.
Mom drove home while we walked.
We walked past City Hall toward the school.
Bree asked, “Did you decide on superheroes and superheroines for the parade?”
I showed Bree the list.
MARCHING IN THE F.O.P. PARADE LIST: SUPERHEROES AND SUPER HEROINES.
1. Spy-Dee, the girl with eight arms, three extra ones on each side. Her name is Dee. She wears boxing gloves on each hand. Ka-Powie!
2. Buggy, who wears a uniform of bugs. He commands bugs to come and cover up his body and protect him in battle. Plus, he can tell bugs to bite, sting or cover someone’s nose or mouth. I didn’t like this one. It was Freddy’s idea. Freddy the Bug!
3. Fever, who is able to make any enemy "sick" with a touch. He might give an enemy a fever, a runny nose, or even make him vomit. Yuk!
Bree said, “This is going to be a great parade! I can’t wait.”
Suddenly, she stopped
and pointed to some chalk squares on the sidewalk. Grinning, she said, “Hopscotch.”
Hopscotch is an old Earth game, and Bree knew how to play it really good. It is a game about hopping and jumping into squares and throwing rocks into squares.
As a Bixster, I know how to do telekinesis. That means I can use my mind to move things. I could even move myself. If I didn’t hop big enough, tele-kinesis could help me land in the right square.
I could throw rocks into the right boxes.
I could even make Bree’s rock fall in the wrong place.
Telekinesis makes Hopscotch easy. I won three times.
After her third loss, Bree said, “It’s late. I need to go home.”
She did one last jump through the squares. Suddenly, she tripped and started to fall. Oh, no! I didn’t want Bree to smash her nose.
Quick, I used my telekinesis and made Bree slow down. She hung over the hopscotch board for a second. Then, she softly landed on square number eight. Right where I wanted her to land.
Bree pushed up to a sitting position and twisted around to stare. “You cheated!” She stood and put her hands on her hips. “You used your alien powers to move the rocks into the right squares.”
When you are caught, there is only one thing to do. I said nothing.
“Admit it,” she demanded. It was that lawyer voice, just like her mom.
But I didn’t want to admit anything. My jaw was shut tight. My lips were tight.
Bree shook her head. “It’s not fair for you to get extra help from your alien powers. You cheated. We are not friends. And you can plan the parade all by yourself.”
She stomped off toward home.
Earthling girls. Why do they have to care about being fair?
Kids clattered down the steps of the bus and raced toward my house for our field trip to Mom’s greenhouse. It was two weeks before the F.O.P. Parade and Nutrition Day.
We live in a 100-year-old, three-story white house. My bedroom is at the top. I can look out my window at Mom’s greenhouse. Right now, all of our Bix veggies were crowded into my room.
I helped Edgar van Dyke push his wheelchair up the driveway. Once on flat ground, he pushed it himself.
“Wow! More tree houses!” Kids who had come to Bree’s birthday party at my house were surprised to see two more tree houses. That’s my Dad. He misses Bix so much that he keeps building more.
Looking around, I realized that Mary Lee was absent. She had wanted to see the newest tree house. I wondered where she was.
The field trip had a bad surprise: Mrs. Lynx had come with us. She opened the door to Mom’s greenhouse and called, “This way, class.” She nodded to each kid as they walked past her.
Freddy pushed in line in front of me. “Bree said to tell you something.”
Bree was about to step inside the green-
house.
Freddy said, “She is weird. She said something about Mrs. Lynx and a cowboy song.”
Quick, I looked up.
Uh-oh.
Mrs. Lynx was pointing her phone at kids as they walked into the greenhouse. She knew that someone in third grade was an alien and she was using the S.A. C. Alien Chaser App!
I had to get past her. And what if she turned that thing onto Mom? I had to warn her.
The kids crowded into the greenhouse, but I noticed that Edgar was hanging back. Then everyone was inside except Edgar and me.
Mrs. Lynx said, “Edgar, your wheelchair won’t fit in there. You can watch from the door.”
“OK. I can see from here,” Edgar said.
Quick, I said, “I will stay with him. I’ve seen the greenhouse.”
Mrs. Lynx nodded at us and stepped inside. She crept around the back of the crowd, still pointing her phone at kids.
From the door, I saw Mom beside a bench that held several pots. I tried to wave and warn her, but she didn’t see me.
Mom called, “Hello!”
“Hello!” echoed the class.
Mom explained about a greenhouse. It is a heated room for plants. In the winter, a greenhouse is warm like summer. Plants love to grow in a greenhouse.
Mom bent over and tried to turn on a water hose to water the plants. But Dad had turned it off last time, and when he turns something off, it’s turned off tight.
Mrs. Lynx said, “Here, let me help.” She pocketed her phone and took hold of the hose.
Just then, Mom turned the handle really hard, and this time it came on. Water sprayed right into Mrs. Lynx’s face.
Mom put a hand to her mouth and said, “Oh!” She pointed the hose down and turned it off.
But the kids roared with laughter.
It took a couple minutes for things to calm down. Finally, Mom took Mrs. Lynx out of the greenhouse to the deck. She went inside to get towels.
Meanwhile, Mrs. McGreen and Mrs. Parrot took over the class. One by one, they held up a pot with a vegetable plant. Kids had to guess what kind of veggie it was. Guess who knew the most? Freddy!
Freddy knew tomatoes, peppers, lettuce, and carrots. I only knew those because Mom was a botanist, a plant scientist.
When Mrs. Lynx was all dried off, she and Mom came back to the greenhouse.
Mrs. Lynx tipped a pot in the corner of the greenhouse and poked at the green leaves. “What kind of vegetable is this?”
Mom sucked in a breath. Uh-oh. It was a pot full of shonks, a Bix veggie. Shonks are like purple carrots. I eat them like candy.
“I’m not sure what that is,” Mom lied. “My neighbor, Mrs. Hendricks, gave me the seeds for it, but I can’t remember what she said.”
Mrs. Lynx pointed her phone at the shonks, but it didn’t play any music. I guess expensive Alien Chaser Apps can’t figure out alien plants. Only alien people. Mrs. Lynx turned around to Mom again, and suddenly the phone started playing. Mrs. Lynx spun back to the shonks. The music stopped.
Fear stabbed through me. Mom had only heard Bree sing “Home on the Range.”
She probably didn’t recognize the music as the Alien Chaser App. And if Mrs. Lynx spun back around and pointed her phone at Mom, we would be caught.
Quick, I stepped into the greenhouse and bumped Mrs. Lynx’s arm. Her phone bobbled in her hands. I almost let it fall and break. But in the end, I used my telekinesis to make it hang in the air until Mrs. Lynx grabbed it.
I grabbed Mom’s arm and tugged, “Mom, is it time for muffins?”
“Kell?” Mom frowned at me.
Mrs. Lynx had hold of the phone again, and her hand was shaking. “Did you see that?” she asked no one.
Oh! I had made it worse by using telekinesis. Now, Mrs. Lynx knew an alien was close by.
Mrs. Lynx started waving the phone around and turning slowly. We had to escape!
“Muffins!” I yanked Mom over the doorstep. I shoved Edgar’s wheelchair into the greenhouse doorway and pulled Mom toward the house.
Mom and I rushed into the kitchen and away from that Alien Chaser App. Safe. Finally, I could explain to Mom about Mrs. Lynx and the app. I didn’t want to go back out, but Mom said we had to.
On big trays, we carried out eggless Earth Bread Muffins. They are made with carrots and zucchini squash. Of course, the bread had no eggs. Bixsters are hatched, not born, so we never eat eggs. Never! And we never cook with eggs.
Mrs. Lynx put her phone into her pocket and took a muffin. Kids sat on the grass and ate and visited. Freddy and Aja and I wanted to sit in one of the tree houses to eat muffins. But Mom said, “No. Not during a field trip.”
Instead, the guys sat on the deck, and we stuffed muffins into our mouths. Edgar won. He stuffed four muffins into his mouth at one time.
Mrs. McGreen and Mrs. Parrot asked Mom for the Earth Bread Muffin recipe.
And all the while, Mom and I stayed far away from Mrs. Lynx.
Then, Mrs. McGreen said we had a few minutes left before the bus came. She said, “Get with your Nutrition Day partner and talk about your project.”
Ting found me
and we sat with our backs to one of the tree house trees.
“Those are great muffins,” Ting said. “You should bring those for the project.”
“OK. And what will you bring?”
We talked about veggies and decided she would bring a Chinese green bean. “It is very spicy,” she said.
I hoped it would be as spicy as grawlies. I said, “Just no bugs to eat!”
“Bus is here!” Mrs. Lynx called. “Line up to go back to school.”
Walking back to the bus, I found Bree.
“It wasn't fair for me to use my alien powers. I cheated,” I whispered. “I’m sorry.”
Then Bree smiled and talked like Mrs. Crux, “No worries, mate.”
And inside me, the sun came out and shone brightly. I never tell anyone about the sunshine because Earth boys don’t talk much to Earth girls. I don’t think they like each other.
She whispered back, “For an alien, you sure make good Earth Bread.” Then she hit my shoulder and climbed the bus steps.
Wait. Why did she hit me? Earthling girls are strange.
“Maps?” I said.
Bree held up stack of parade maps to hand out, and said, “Check.”
It was after school, the week of Nutrition Day and the F.O.P. Parade. Bree and I were checking the lists and making sure we had everything ready. Dad said he had the “Home on the Range” problem solved. He didn’t explain what he had done, so I was still worried. But Bree checked it off the list.
Mom and Dad were in the study trying to call home to Bix again. They’ve been doing that for months. The study was full of machines and wires and things that didn’t work.
Bree and I had balloons to mark the route. Everyone marching in the parade knew when it started and where it started. But we still hadn’t decided on fund raising. We had talked about it lots.
Kell and the Horse Apple Parade Page 2
