by Lexie Davis
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I’m sure.” He kissed her temple. “God, Ella. I can’t breathe without you. Much less anything else. I’d never agree to have a kid, if I didn’t want it. I don’t know anything about them, but I’ll do my best.”
“I still feel like I’m pressuring you. Like it would never occur to you if I didn’t bring it up.”
“There is nobody else on this earth I would ever want to have kids with.” He forced her to look at him. “You’re it. You’re my wife. You’re the love of my life. You telling me what you want isn’t pressuring me to do anything. It’s what we do. You tell me what you want from me and I give it to you the best I can. The same goes for me. I tell you what I want and you give it to me the best you can. I don’t lie to you. I would never tell you I wanted something if I didn’t just to appease you. I meant what I said on our wedding night. Toss the pills and let me get you pregnant.”
She wrapped her arms around him. “I love you.”
“I know you do.” He smoothed his hands along her back. “I’m sorry I left you alone today. Is that where this is coming from? I know you missed me. I’m trying to work my schedule out so that we’re together on your days off.”
“Maybe. I don’t know.” She pulled away from him to wipe her eyes. “Being alone never bothered me before.”
And it hadn’t. She’s spent an entire week without him and was completely fine. On her day off, she did errands. It wasn’t a big deal. Maybe the hormones were pumping strong. She’d never really had such a longing to be with Ryker. She loved him, but being away from him was never an issue.
“You’re not alone anymore.” He kissed her. “Come on. I think you’re tired too. You worked on our room all day. I love you for it, but I think you’re exhausted.”
He led her back to their bedroom and helped her into bed. The conversation eased her mind drastically. She knew he’d never agree to anything he didn’t want, but the reassurance helped. Ryker moved in beside her and pulled her to him. She liked the feel of his arms around her. He made her feel safe and protected.
It was exactly what she needed.
Chapter Twelve
Ella grabbed Ryker’s hand and led him to the downstairs bedroom. She stood outside the closed door, anxious about his thoughts for the decorations in the room. He was a bit hard to please, even though he said she could do whatever he wanted. She hoped he’d like what she’d picked out.
“You ready?” she asked.
“I guess.”
She opened the door and let him go in first. He glanced around. Only one thing hung on the wall and it was a picture. He walked over to it and stared at the photo.
“A sonogram?”
“Yeah.” She studied his face. “We’re having a baby.”
He glanced over at her. “Well, that explains the crying.”
Ella scoffed. “Are you happy?”
He studied the picture. “I think happy is the wrong word.” He looked at her. “You make me happy. This—this scares the shit out of me.”
She tried not to feel disappointed. Her doctor said some men aren’t excited in the beginning. Maybe Ryker would come around.
“Are you okay?” Ryker looked her up and down.
She nodded. “Yeah.” She walked over to a pile of magazines she had left near the wall. “I’m about seven weeks. Everything looks good. My doctor calculated my due date to be around your birthday.”
Ella sat in the floor and flipped through some of the baby magazines she’d bought. “I really like the jungle theme for the room. It has a lot of green in it though. I wanted someone to come in and paint a mural or something on the wall. Kind of like this one.”
She held up a magazine for him.
Ryker sat next to her in the floor. “What happened to motorcycles?”
She glanced up. “You want a motorcycle nursery theme?”
He nodded. “I’ll let you have green paint if I can have motorcycles.”
“For a girl?”
“We don’t know what it is.” He leaned back, propping himself up. “It’s probably a boy though.”
She arched an eyebrow at him, smiling. “You’re sure about that?”
“I had Sex Ed. Doesn’t the father choose? I’m choosing boy.”
She laughed. “It doesn’t work that way.”
“Says you.” He flipped through another magazine. “If it’s a girl, she can have pink motorcycles.”
Ella grinned. “Would you be okay with a girl?”
He rubbed his eyes. “Shit. I’d be in jail. Every fucking boy that even thought about looking at my daughter would get his teeth knocked out.”
Ella could imagine that. Her father was bad enough, but Ryker would be ten times worse. Maybe a boy would be better for them. She liked the idea of him being protective over their kid though.
“Stop.” Ryker kissed the top of her head. “You’ve got that look in your eye like you’re planning for baby two and three. One. That’s all I agreed to. That’s all we’re having.”
“Says you.” She sat the magazine aside. “We could have two kids.”
“One.”
She laughed. “What have you got against more kids?”
“What have you got against one?” He stretched his legs out around her. “You are an only child. I am an only child. There’s nothing wrong with having one kid.”
“We could have two.”
He groaned. “Ella.”
“Or three.”
“I can’t count that high.”
“We have four extra bedrooms.”
“I knew you were planning to fill them with little humans.” Ryker shook his head. “Hell, let’s see how we do with the first one. If we don’t screw it up within the first year or so, then maybe. But don’t get your hopes up. I doubt I’ll ever want more than one kid.”
She leaned in to kiss his cheek. “You’re not going to screw it up.”
“You underestimate my ability.”
“You’re not. You’re going to be a great dad.” She laid her head against his chest.
He kissed her temple. “I’m glad you have confidence in me.”
“You’re an amazing person. Don’t cut yourself short.” She turned to face him. “Are you happy?”
“Are you happy?” he asked.
“I am.”
“Then I’m happy.” He pulled her to him for a kiss. “You make me happy, Ella. As long as you’re happy, I’m fine.”
“But…” She paused to collect her thoughts. “Is this something you want?”
“It’s a little late to ask me that now.” He smoothed his hand along her face. “You’re what I want. Everything else is bonus.”
“Ryker, I really need you to say yes.”
He leaned in to kiss her. “Yes. One. I’m happy about one.”
“I’m going to need reassurance.” She looped her arms around his neck. “Like everyday.”
He smoothed his hands along her back. “I’ll do my best.”
Ella stood. “Come on. I want some dinner. I rushed through my lunch break since I had my doctor’s appointment.”
He stood and followed her into the kitchen. “Have you told anyone?”
“No.” She searched the pantry for something to fix. “I mean, my boss knows. I told him he didn’t know officially until I told you, but he knew I went to an OB appointment upstairs.”
Ryker wrapped his arms around her. “Your dad is going to be pissed.”
“Nah.” She grabbed some ingredients to fix their meal. “I think he was bullshitting us. He likes you.”
Ryker arched an eyebrow.
“Okay, he tolerates you. You went on that trip together. You’re working on the Shelby. You’ve come a long way.”
“Yeah, he’s not punching me for fucking you anymore.”
Ella grabbed a bowl from the cabinet. “He knows you’ve changed. I think with Razor gone, things are different in his mind too.”
Ryker nodded, folding his arms ove
r his chest.
“Hey.” Ella gripped his chin. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but if you’re comparing yourself to your father, don’t.”
“I wasn’t.”
“Don’t.” She stood on her tip toes to kiss him. “You’re nothing like him. You’re a loving, protective, loyal husband and you’re going to be an even better father. Don’t let him get in your head.”
“Like it or not, he was part of me.”
“And he taught you what not to be.” She smoothed her hand along his chest. “You haven’t said much about it after you beat the shit out of Vampire. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” He leaned against the counter. He groaned. “I know you said I can talk to you.”
“You can.” She busied herself with cooking dinner. “You can talk to me about anything.”
“I hated his guts.” Ryker took a deep breath. “Years of taking his shit, and not only taking it, but expecting to take it really took its toll.” He looked away from her. “My grandfather was a better man, but he had his faults. He raised Razor, after all. I mean, I’m not them, but there is a cycle. How the fuck do I break that cycle? I mean the kid isn’t even born yet and I’m already convinced I’ve fucked it up.”
“You break the cycle by giving your baby what you wanted.” She stared at his back. “You be the dad you wished you had.”
“I don’t know how to do that.”
“I think you do.” Ella walked around the kitchen island to face him. “There was one point in time when you claimed you didn’t know what love was. You do now, Ryker. You know why?”
“You.”
“No.” She shook her head. “You care. You care about me. We’re not perfect, you know that. We fight. We argue. It doesn’t mean you don’t care. Chances are our fights exist because we do care.”
“So I just have to care?”
“Yes.” She smoothed her hands along his arms. “And you’ve already got that down. You’re going to be fine. When you hold our baby, it’ll be different. You’ll see that the little life we created is only the best parts of us. Not the worst.”
He leaned in to kiss her. “Do you know a lot about babies?”
“I deal with kids all the time.” She kissed his cheek. “You’ll get the hang of it.”
“You’re going to have to teach me.”
Ella smiled, her heart full of joy. “I’ll teach you anything you want to know.”
And she would. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for him.
Epilogue
Ryker held his son in his arms while they rocked together in the nursery. He didn’t know what the hell he was doing, but as long as he held the baby and rocked him, he stopped crying.
“You’re getting good at that.” Ella stood in the doorway of the nursery. “Do you want me to take him? You’ve been on baby duty for a while. I’ve rested so I’m good to go.”
“I’m fine.” He glanced down at the sleeping baby. “The books say to talk to him. I don’t really know what babies like to talk about so I’ve been teaching him about motorcycles.”
Ella smiled. “Starting early, huh? He’s going to be riding as soon as he can walk, isn’t he?”
“Probably.”
Ella walked toward them and lifted the baby from him. She kissed the baby’s temple and held him close. Ryker watched her. Ella had a caring nature and she was the perfect person to go to for comfort. He understood why their son enjoyed laying against her. He enjoyed it too.
“Mom and Dad are coming over. Dad’s driving the Shelby. He said you told him he could leave it here?”
Ryker rubbed a hand over his face. “Yeah.”
She arched an eyebrow. “The garage is a mess. Where are you going to put it?”
He stood. “Don’t worry about it.”
She rolled her eyes. “Fine. But you need to clean out my side of the garage.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He saluted her.
“Stop.” She grabbed his shirt. “You’re such an ass.”
Leaning in, she kissed him. He held her face as he deepened the kiss. She made him happy and in that moment, he was pretty fucking happy.
“Your door was unlocked,” Pat commented, coming in the nursery. “Lock them up. Someone could come in and snatch Mason and you’d never know.”
Pat took the baby and cradled him against his body.
“You’re the only baby snatcher in the area.” Ryker pulled Ella to him. For a moment, he enjoyed having his arms around his wife. “Nobody else would be that stupid.”
“I may snatch him up. You guys can get him back when he’s eighteen.”
“Over my dead body.”
“That can be arranged.”
Ella smiled. “You were both against me having a kid and here you are fighting over him.”
Ryker leaned into kiss the top of her head. “I’m going to clean the garage. Pat, put my kid down and help me.”
“Why would I help you clean your mess?”
“You want your car stored here, right? You daughter said I had to clean the garage.”
Pat reluctantly handed Mason to Ella. “I may spend the night tonight. I want more snuggle time with him.”
“That’s not going to happen,” Ryker commented, leaving the room. “You can hug him and love him while you’re here, but you’re going home.”
“The house next door is for sale. I could sell mine and move next to you.”
“Ella.” Ryker glanced over at her.
She laughed, propping the baby on her shoulder. “I’m not getting involved.”
Ryker went to the garage. When they’d bought the house, he thought Ella intended for him to keep his motorcycles in the single garage off to the side of the main double-car garage. Instead, he had parts everywhere and more bikes than he knew what to do with.
“You’ve got a mess.”
“I know.” Ryker sighed. “I like working on this here instead of the club, but it only pisses Ella off. I may end up taking it back to the club.”
Pat looked around. “Word on the street is that there’s a new group in town. Mavericks of Mayhem. You know anything about them?”
Ryker lit a cigarette. “Define know.”
“Have you heard of them?”
“Yes.”
“Am I going to have some trouble coming my way?”
Ryker pulled the cigarette from his lips. “Don’t you always have trouble coming your way?”
Pat ran a hand over his face. “Can you not bullshit with me for one second?”
Ryker pushed away from the bench and grabbed the Harley Knucklehead to move so it didn’t get scratched.
“Let’s say hypothetically that I met them in Mississippi and one random fly by night guy on a motorcycle pointed a gun at me and caused a lot of stress for my wife.” Ryker parked the bike near the far wall away from everything else. “His cut looked a lot like their emblem.”
“Do you have a beef with them?”
“Well, I don’t really like being shot. It fucking hurts.”
“Hey, boys.” Maggie came in the garage and waved at them.
Ryker moved away from Pat to hug his mother-in-law. “Ella’s with Mason. Go on in.”
She smiled at him and went inside the house. Ryker turned toward his father-in-law. He tried to settle things with them, but their leader was a dopehead who had it out for the Roaming Devils whether or not he really knew who they were. Razor continued to live on from the grave, and it fucking sucked.
“Do I need to remind you that you’ve got a baby and wife now?” Pat folded his arms over his chest. “They don’t need your damn gang turf war bullshit in their lives.”
“I take care of both of them.” He brought the cigarette to his lips. “Have since day one.”
“Yeah. A lot of tears have come from my daughter’s eyes too.”
Ryker flicked his ashes. “I’m not the only one that has made her cry.”
Before he could say any more, several motorcycles pulled in his dr
ive. Vampire and Superman were the first to get off their bikes, followed by the rest of the voting members. He smiled at his friends.
“Where is the next member of the Roaming Devils MC?” Vampire asked, pulling his sunglasses off.
“Inside.” He glanced over at Pat. “Ella’s not going to go for a game of pass the baby though.”
“That’s cool.” Vampire glanced back at their friends. “Some of these ugly motherfuckers would probably scare the little guy.”
Ryker laughed and went to the door. Opening it, he hollered for his wife. When she came to the garage, Ryker took the baby from her and walked over to his friends. For a total of five seconds, some of the roughest bikers on the streets of Atlanta turned into blubbering fools.
“Can I hold him?” Vampire asked Ella.
She stared a moment. “Wash your hands.”
Vampire grinned and went inside to do just that. When he came back, Ryker reluctantly handed him over. He and Superman were there for Mason’s birth. They stayed most of the time and became a comfort Ryker didn’t know he needed.
They were his family.
“You actually made a cute kid, Prez,” Vampire stated holding the baby. “He looks like you.”
“Did you just call me cute?”
“No.” Vampire smiled at the baby. “I’m trying to figure out how something so adorable came from your ugly ass.”
“Sure.” Ryker took him and cradled him against his body. Parenthood didn’t change him much. He knew nothing about babies, but Mason wasn’t that difficult to get to know.
“We got him something.” Superman grabbed the bag from Mad Dog and pulled out a pint size cut with the Roaming Devils emblem on it. The tag on the front said President Jr.
Ryker laughed. “Damn. Look, Ella.”
“I see it.” She walked toward them. “If he’s going to be riding as soon as he can walk, he might as well have the look.”
“You’re not going to teach him the ways of your motorcycle club, are you?” Pat asked. Ryker almost forgot that he was standing in the background.
Ryker smiled. “He’s the next generation.”
