She stood, nearly shoving him away, eager to put space between them. Or more precisely, between herself and temptation. Without his touch, reality and doubts wormed their way in. Unable to face him and cope with her out of control emotions, she hurried to the door. Her chest tightened, breath strangled in her throat as she remembered the way she’d all but attacked him.
“Caly?”
She froze but didn’t turn, a hand on the doorjamb. One look and her hands-off resolve would turn to mist. Terrified that he’d try to touch her and she’d let him, it was all she could do to prevent herself from bolting. She grabbed the first excuse that came to her. “I better get ice for your shoulder.”
Her mind told her she was being sensible, her body called her a coward.
Too bad she agreed with her body.
Chapter Fifteen
The door shut firmly behind Caly’s trim figure with a finality that almost made him rise to follow. He wouldn’t put it past her to run. It was too late for her to disappear on him.
He needed her for much more than his freedom now.
The room echoed with silence. His chest ached with the need to touch her and confirm she was real, confirm what she made him feel was real. Without her, a hollowness yawned in his chest. He leaned back on the floor and raised his arm behind his head. The muscles protested but not enough to distract him.
He unconsciously licked his lips, catching himself searching for one more taste of her. What the hell just happened? He had to figure it out before she returned, and he screwed it up worse.
They’d kissed.
It was forbidden. It didn’t stop him from wanting to repeat the experience.
Restless and riding on nerves, Ruman finally understood the taboo of the daughters of man and how an angel could fall from Heaven. If any of them where like Caly, they wouldn’t have had a choice.
He twisted to find a comfortable spot but his clothes no longer seemed to fit. He shifted to relieve the pressure in his jeans, but one thought of Caly and he was back where he started.
The instant they touched, her soft mouth on his, the connection he had to her strengthened. Although he couldn’t feel her emotions, he could sense her presence near the icebox at the other end of the hall. He knew her every step.
Despite pairing being forbidden, they’d bonded.
The only place he’d heard of such a thing was in an ancient text, locked away in the temples from prying eyes. Cases where guardian angels became too attached to their charges. At the first sign of a tentative bond, the angel was removed from their assignment.
Most of the time it helped.
But sometimes an angel couldn’t forget. Ruman didn’t know what happened to them. He had to wonder, if like the ancients, they were captured and locked away or if someone took pity on them and granted them a reprieve to spend time with their beloved.
He wished he’d paid more attention and knew what type of battle he had on his hands. The brink between the past and future teetered before him, and he willingly took the last step. He couldn’t return to his old life.
Not after everything he’d seen.
Not after her touch.
The door slammed. Caly stormed back inside, banging around the bucket and ice. Ruman sat up slowly, so as not to startle her and waited for an indication from her on how she felt about the situation. A clue from her on how he should act.
Posture stiff, her eyes shielded, she wrapped the ice in a towel and lifted it to his shoulder. Then paused. “Shirt off.”
He did as told, wincing at the pull of muscles, too smart to question her in her current mood. He tossed the shirt aside, taking comfort in the way her eyes watched him when she thought he wasn’t looking. Heart pounding a harsh rhythm against his ribcage, he silently dared her to reach for him again.
The last thing he wanted was to make the first move, lose control, and have her run. Angels weren’t cute or sweet or cuddly. They were warriors. Though patient, if provoked, they were very passionate about those they watched over. And he was very passionate about Caly.
The ice pack landed hard, the cold seeping through the thin material of the towel. Gooseflesh pebbled his skin, erasing some of his body’s more dangerous demands.
“I thought angels didn’t feel pain.”
As belligerent as the statement was, Ruman was grateful she deigned to talk to him at all. “All creatures feel.”
Her eyes remained on the icepack, allowing him to observe her freely. He silently urged her to ask another question, anything to prevent them from lapsing into chilly silence.
“Ask.”
Her head shot up at the sound of his voice. Only to stare at him with a fragile look that made him ache to hold her. He wanted to promise he wouldn’t hurt her, but his will wasn’t his own. Not yet. She chewed at her bottom lip, and he bit back a groan. He wanted to soothe the bruised flesh, wanted to kiss away all her worries.
“I don’t understand.” She stopped and dropped her gaze.
“What?” He resisted the urge to tip her face toward his. It was too soon to force the issue, and he was too uncertain of all the bombarding emotions to feel he could touch her freely.
Tension cleared her face, leaving nothing behind but the warrior. “How did you become a demon?”
“Temporary demon.” He answered with only half a mind, his response automatic. He took a deep breath, forcing his scattered thoughts away from her and onto her question.
“Demons came into existence several ways. Some were born from other demons or a combination of human and demon. Others were made when angels were created. Every creature was given a choice. The stronger ones looked toward the Heavens and became angels. The weaker ones looked away, transformed into demons. Before angels were assigned the job, many demons delivered prayers to Heaven. They helped humans, not caused mischief.”
“And the third?” Caly spoke absently, seemingly absorbed in icing his shoulder, but tension lined her shoulders. “The way you were created?”
“I messed up and failed in the most basic way.”
“What do you mean?”
“Angels work toward a greater goal. We don’t judge or act without prior approval. All I had to do was obey, but I couldn’t.” Ruman refused to drop his gaze or hide from his crime. “As punishment, I was sent here as a guardian demon to watch and observe. Every few decades, a person was sent to me. If I were ready for the trial, I’d awaken. All I’d need to do is save their life, and I’d be free to return home.”
Caly removed the towel and ice slushy, placing it in the sink in the bathroom before returning. “Then why haven’t you returned before now?”
Ruman grunted, reluctant to admit the truth to her. “I guess I haven’t learned my lesson. Not all the people chosen were innocent. One man tried to rob another, thinking himself untouchable with me under his command.” Ruman shook his head, still disgusted at the memory after all this time. “I couldn’t do it. I failed to obey.”
“How’s that fair?” Hands on hips, Caly looked mad enough to spit. His heart warmed at her defense. “You shouldn’t be expected to save the life of a bad man at the cost of another.”
A smile twisted his lips. “That’s the problem. It’s not my place to judge. And since it has been centuries, I guess I still haven’t learned my place.” Part of him worried that he worked so closely with humans that they had rubbed off on him. That he couldn’t be impartial anymore.
Her gaze dropped to her feet. “An angel. I guess I can really pick them.”
Ruman doubted she was aware of what she unwittingly admitted. Such a simple statement rocked his thoughts. He stood and stepped in front of her, blocking the door. The phone rang but he ignored it. They’d only just started talking about what was important. “Caly—”
“It could be the team with news.” Without waiting, she ducked past him and escaped.
Shirtless, Ruman followed and watched her from the doorway. Frown lines appeared between her eyes while she talked on the phone
. He wanted to smooth them away, have her smile and laugh with him as she did with only the closest around her.
She sat, her head bent, taking notes. Hair fell down her back and spilled over her shoulder. A toss of her head sent the strands out of the way, but only for a moment. Slow, like molasses, they crept forward to slink back into place.
Reaching back, he retrieved the leather tie he used for his own hair as he walked toward her. He gently gathered the impossibly smooth, silky layers into one hand.
He ignored the way her body stiffened at his touch, focusing on the fact she hadn’t pulled away. The smell of her shampoo and cinnamon filled his nose, loosening the tightness that had taken up residence in his chest.
He closed his eyes.
It’d been too long since he voluntarily touched someone, took pleasure in such a simple gesture. He leaned forward, seconds away from succumbing to the urge to bury his face in the strands, when he felt the sharp prickling run along his skin.
The sun was about to rise.
Not wanting Caly to see him as anything but human, he clenched his fists and retreated.
* * *
“Ruman, wait.” Caly shot to her feet, her body at odds with her mind. She didn’t want him near her. He messed up her thinking, but the instant he’d left, her chest tightened in an odd sort of panic.
The darker part of herself said run after Ruman. They had unsettled business. The sensible part told her to bury the desire and focus on business. Focus on saving her friends. To do that, she needed Ruman to knock off the games and stop messing with her head. “Jarred, I have to go. Thank David for the information.”
“Be careful.”
“You, too.”
Setting the receiver in the cradle, Caly hurried after Ruman. She hesitantly reached up and touched the leather tie in her hair then wiped her hands on the front of her pants.
She was nervous about facing him again. She’d never second-guessed herself before.
Not until now.
Not until him.
Taking a deep breath, she walked into his room, striving for a cool, calm steady pace so he wouldn’t guess how much he stirred her up. “The news from home is encouraging. No more attacks have been reported. And thanks to David’s techno geek abilities, they’ve managed to contact a group of demon hunters. We meet their contact tomorrow…er, tonight.”
Ruman looked pale and distracted as he paced the room. “Is that it?”
All the tentative emotions forming between them since the very first time they met shriveled under his dismissive attitude. Carefully closing the notebook, Caly turned away, cursing as the fragile shell protecting her wavered. She knew this would happen.
And worse, he was right. They needed to keep their distance. “Yes.”
“Caly, don’t.”
“Don’t what?” She paused for barely a moment, her heart pounding in such damning hope she winced at her own susceptibility to him.
When she didn’t receive a reply, her heart shattered a little. Unable to help herself, Caly glanced at him, not sure what she expected to see.
A harsh gasp of denial escaped her throat.
Whatever she expected, it wasn’t this.
Ruman had reached out to her in entreaty, but instead of a live man, she came face to face with her statue.
A glance over her shoulders revealed the bright rays of the early morning sun streaking through her room. When he issued his threat this morning, she thought he was bluffing.
Apparently not.
Caly couldn’t take her eyes away from him. The lack of shirt revealed a chest that left her breathless, displaying a body she’d recently caressed and kissed so intimately.
Almost unaware of her movements, needing to make sure he was real, Caly reached out and trailed her fingers lightly over his chest.
The stone’s warmth startled her. It disturbed her to think of him alive beneath the stone, awake but unable to move. She thanked God he didn’t have to go through that torture.
If she hadn’t known what to expect, she might have run. She was strong, but there was only so much a girl could handle before she cracked. Seeing the man she’d kissed not moments ago turned into a statue was one of them.
She couldn’t imagine living a life cast in stone, awakening only to face one test after another. To never have a life of your own. To be confined would drive her insane. To be imprisoned for centuries would kill her soul.
She didn’t know how he managed.
She rested her head against his shoulder, her body fitting naturally against his, but the one sided hug didn’t offer any comfort. All that power, all that frozen vitality couldn’t protect her, not when he proved to be the biggest danger to her.
“What are we going to do?” Caly closed her eyes. “I don’t understand anything since you came into my life. I’m so close to getting everything I’ve ever wanted, so close to being normal I can feel it. But it’s slipping away.”
She reluctantly released her hold. With one last look at him, she turned away. “I’m not sure how to deal with you. With what you make me feel. You mess up my thinking, and I can’t have that.”
Caly touched the smooth scars that encircled her wrist and the old burns that webbed up her forearm. “I’ve lived through too much. I’m not sure I can go through more. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to survive you.” It felt good to finally say it aloud, even if she was too much of a coward to say it to his face. Now maybe she could put it behind her and forget she’d ever had those thoughts.
* * *
Ruman was helpless to do anything as Caly left his room. The dejected slump to her shoulders, the tone of her voice sent a shaft of pain through his chest. He’d never wanted to cause her such pain.
In a silent rage, he cursed the situation. He needed to gather her close and reassure her that he would always be there for her. Instead, he was stuck encased in stone.
If she ever found out he heard her speak, she’d cheerfully slip one of her precious knives between his ribs. Caly wasn’t one who liked to be vulnerable, never in front of others and especially to herself.
But he was fiercely glad to hear her words. Resolve filled him. With a woman like Caly, being soft would get him nowhere. She needed a strong hand and a strong man to match her.
He just hoped he got the chance.
Even in the form of the statue, her touch burned. The way her fingertips caressed his skin, the soft breath against his chest made him yearn for more. He wanted her to come to him freely.
And she would, he’d make sure of it.
He was through fighting himself, fighting her would be hard enough. Somehow, some way, he’d find a way to have and keep her.
Chapter Sixteen
Attired in her standard battle gear, minus nearly all but a few of her weapons per the meeting requirements, Caly waited by the elevator for Ruman. She couldn’t stay and watch him awaken. It felt too intimate.
She ignored the bite of nerves at seeing him again after everything that had happened. Part of her feared that he wouldn’t wake from the statue. Half her afternoon had been wasted staring at him, fantasies dancing in her mind.
Just like now.
She shook her head, wishing it was as easy to get rid of those thoughts.
Work.
Job.
Focus.
The report David gave regarding the overseas group of demon hunters preyed on her mind. How could Oscar have kept them in the dark?
Her.
It was the only answer. A chill slithered down her spine at all the people who’d needlessly died so he could keep his experiments quiet.
A door down the hall opened. Caly automatically turned. All thoughts of plummeting to her death or the upcoming meeting evaporated at the first sight of Ruman.
Hell, truth be told, all thoughts ceased to exist as the feelings she’d tried to lock away exploded through her. Ever since the kiss, her body was hyperaware of him and reacted to his nearness in ways she had no defense again
st.
His long strides drew her gaze. As she scanned his body, her mouth grew drier than the desert heat outside. His black jeans were snug against his legs, revealing all that power; his shirt hugged the muscles of his chest. A shiver of awareness hitched her breathing in an embarrassing way that made her feel like a teenager crushing.
“Caly.” He stopped inches from her, a warmth in his eyes that invited her to lean into him and take what she wanted.
Self-conscious and too easily tempted, Caly quickly turned away. Only to face the small, cramped quarters of what some man considered adequate transportation. He gestured for her to enter the elevator. Refusing to show weakness, she clenched her teeth, stepped inside, and struggled against the need to go right back out.
She wasn’t sure what was worse. Being in the elevator or being alone with Ruman.
As the doors sealed her inside the metal tomb, she absently rubbed the scars on her wrists to remind herself she was free. Her eyes wandered, searching for a distraction.
And automatically shifted to Ruman. One quick look confirmed her fear. The view from the backside was almost better than the front.
When they remained stationary for another minute, she slowly lifted her gaze to find him staring at her reflection in the polished door.
“What’s wrong? Is it the meeting?”
“Nothing.” When she moved to push the button, he planted himself in front of the only source of her escape.
“You’re disturbed. Do you sense something?”
She couldn’t tell him the truth, tell him that he was the one who disturbed her by making her care for him. She wasn’t prepared for her own reactions, let alone his. So she took his excuse and focused on work.
“The main faction was cautious and refused to meet, offering up a member on the fringes of the group instead.” She licked her lips, thinking of how much she should say about all the conditions they’d placed on the meeting.
“Their caution is understandable. Discovery could hinder the group or get them killed.” Ruman didn’t budge. The bastard refused to let her get away with the easy answer.
The Demon Within (A PeaceKeeper Novel) Page 14
