Which only filled her with shame and guilt. How could she say that about her sister? What if Lindsay just needed time? Needed someone to believe in her? Lauren was so afraid that if she gave up on Lindsay, Lindsay would truly give up on herself. And she couldn’t live with herself if that happened, knowing that if she had just stuck it out, her sister might get her act together.
Deep down, Lauren knew that life didn’t work that way. In the sane, rational part of her mind, she knew she wasn’t responsible for Lindsay and that she couldn’t help her sister if she didn’t want it. But logic and emotion didn’t always go together, and this was a perfect example of one of those times.
So what if she didn’t completely trust Lindsay? That didn’t mean she couldn’t be there for her.
Chapter Nineteen
Kenny stopped for the light, his eyes cutting over to his passenger. Her face was in profile, shrouded mostly in shadow except for the slice of light coming from the streetlamp on the corner. The light accented her high cheekbones, making them look sharper, more defined in the curve of her cheek. He must have been staring too long because Lauren turned her head, her lips barely lifting in smile that looked too forced.
“The light’s green.”
Kenny pulled his gaze away from her, turning his attention to the nighttime traffic. It was late enough that traffic was lighter, allowing him to divide his attention between the road and the woman sitting next to him. He was definitely more interested in the woman. How could he not be? She was smart, funny, sexy as hell, and into hockey. What wasn’t there to like?
Nothing—except for the fact that she was too quiet tonight. She seemed preoccupied, her mind elsewhere. At least, Kenny hoped that was the reason she seemed so distant. He’d asked her twice already; he didn’t want to push it and ask a third time, especially when he had a good idea why.
The restaurant he had picked for tonight’s dinner was just ahead. Kenny slowed the car to turn into the parking lot then eased into an empty space. Lauren shifted, her hand already moving toward the door handle.
“No, wait.” Kenny opened his own door and hurried around to the side, not missing the look of surprise on Lauren’s face. He held his hand out to help her from the car, holding his breath until she actually took it.
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“Yes I did.” He curled his fingers around hers, holding her hand in place when it felt like she was going to let go. He grinned, not missing the quick narrowing of her eyes. “I know you’re more than capable of opening your own door. And a lot of other things, too. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it for you whenever I have the chance.”
“Is that so?”
“Absolutely.” He watched her, hoping for a smile or a laugh. Her lips curled up but the motion was too quick to be called a smile. She started walking, pulling him along without a word. Kenny stopped and tugged on her hand, pulling her back and turning her around. His arms came around her waist and he lowered his mouth to hers, claiming her lips in a soft kiss. Her body stiffened and Kenny almost stepped back in surprise, not understanding why she seemed so hesitant. Then her body finally relaxed against his and her mouth opened for him. He dipped his tongue inside, meeting hers in a slow dance that sent heat straight through him.
He tilted her head back and deepened the kiss, swallowing her small moan as she leaned into him. This is what he wanted, what he’d been waiting for since he left her house the other day. Only two days had passed. Two. He shouldn’t be this tied up with need and want, shouldn’t be so hungry for something as simple as a kiss. But he was. He didn’t think he could ever have enough of Lauren’s kisses. Slow, deep, warm. The way she clung to him when they kissed, the way her body molded so perfectly against his own. The tiny little sounds she made, almost like a kitten purring its happiness.
And if he wasn’t careful, this kiss could quickly turn into something more.
Kenny pulled away, swallowing his own groan as he rested his forehead against hers. His breathing was just a little harsh, a little ragged. He grinned when he realized Lauren’s breathing was an echo of his own. “I should have done that earlier, as soon as I picked you up tonight.”
“Yeah?” A tiny grin lifted the corners of her mouth, a real grin, not a distracted one.
“Definitely.”
“We may have had to go back upstairs to my place if you had.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
Lauren laughed, her eyes sparkling in the reflection of the parking lot lights. She stepped away, tugging his hand as she moved toward the restaurant. “No, not a bad thing. Except I don’t normally eat this late and I’m hungry.”
“Why didn’t you say something? We could have gone earlier, or done something different. I didn’t—”
Lauren turned in his arms and pressed a quick kiss against his lips. “I’m fine. Stop worrying.”
Spicy warmth greeted them as soon as they walked inside. Kenny inhaled deeply, his eyes closed as he breathed in the mixed scents of curry and cardamom and saffron. He heard Lauren laugh and opened his eyes in time to see her shrug out of her jacket, a small smile on her face.
“Was I being too obvious?”
“Not really. It smells really good. I would have done the same thing but I was too busy watching you.”
“I hope that means you like Indian food.”
“I haven’t had it in a while but yes, I like it.”
Kenny breathed a sigh of relief as the hostess led them back to a corner table set slightly apart from the others. He pulled the chair out for Lauren then sat across from her as the hostess placed their menus in front of them. A waiter quickly showed up to fill their water glasses and take their drink orders then left. Lauren reached for her menu, studying it with a small frown.
“This is my first time here but everyone I talked to said it’s supposed to be pretty good.”
“Hm?” Lauren peered at him from over the menu, that distracted look back in her eyes. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“I think I need to kiss you again.”
“What?” Lauren lowered the menu, her brows pulled together in confusion. “Why?”
Kenny watched her for a minute in silence, studying her. The line of her jaw, the delicate bow of her upper lip, the sweep of her dark lashes as she blinked. He sat back in the chair and stretched his left leg out, his fingers playing with the stem of the water glass. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
Lauren looked away, reaching for her own water glass and taking a sip. To avoid answering him or because she was thirsty? She took another sip then shook her head, her eyes not quite meeting his. “Nothing’s wrong.”
“Then why do you seem so distracted?”
“I’m not.”
“Lauren, the only time you haven’t been is when I kissed you in the parking lot. Honestly, I was kind of hoping that would be the one time that you were distracted.” He’d said it as a joke, hoping to see her smile. She did, but not a full one, not a real one that lit her face.
“Trust me, I was.”
“So what’s wrong?”
“Really, it’s nothing.” She motioned to the side then smiled as the waiter approached their table with their drinks: a white wine for Lauren, a bottle of Kingfisher for Kenny. He took their orders and left again. Lauren fidgeted with her wineglass, the small frown back on her face. Should he ask her again, or just leave it alone? He searched his mind, looking for something else to say, something that might get her mind off whatever it was distracting her, when Lauren let out a little sigh and looked up at him.
“I’m not distracted. Not really. I’m just…” Her voice faded off and she looked away.
“Just what?”
She glanced at him, looked down at her wine, took a sip. “I’m just…I wish you wouldn’t have said anything to Dale about Tuesday morning, that’s all.”
So that was what this was about. Kenny leaned back in the seat and took a long swallow of beer, not sure
what to say. Her brother had obviously said something to her but he had no idea what. Had he given her shit about Kenny spending the night, about them being together? He’d been so worried that something had happened to her when he saw Dale at the rink that he hadn’t even thought about possible repercussions.
He took another swallow of beer then rolled the bottle between his hands. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t even thinking that you wouldn’t want him to know—well, you know. That I spent the night there.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
He looked over at her, frowning. “Then I think I’m lost.”
“I was talking about my sister. Lindsay. You didn’t have to tell him what happened.”
Kenny’s hand tightened around the bottle with the same force of his jaw clenching. Just hearing her name set his nerves on edge and twisted his gut. He put the bottle down, afraid it might actually break in his hand. The violent reaction, so swift and complete, surprised him. He shouldn’t be reacting this way, shouldn’t be consumed with anger at the memory of the other morning. But he was, whether it made sense or not. Looking over at Lauren, he knew he wasn’t the only one upset.
And there was no doubt they were upset for totally different reasons.
Kenny took a deep breath and let it out slowly, making a concentrated effort to relax his hands. He swallowed, cleared throat, shifted in the chair. Took another deep breath and finally nodded.
“I’m sorry. I hadn’t meant to say anything.”
“But you did. It wasn’t your place.” Lauren’s words were clipped, her voice tight. She looked away but not before he saw the irritation flash in her eyes. It took Kenny all of two seconds to realize that Lauren was more than just distracted. She was upset. Angry. And he couldn’t understand why.
“Did your brother tell you why I told him?”
“I don’t feel like talking about it.”
“So you just bring it up then suddenly want to let it go without hearing my side?”
“You don’t have a side because it doesn’t concern you.”
“Actually, it concerns me a lot if she’s going around telling people that we slept together. And who knows what else she might be saying? Might be accusing me of? Or anyone else, for that matter.”
Lauren’s head snapped around, her eyes narrowed. “What are you implying?”
“I’m not implying anything. But did you stop to think about the repercussions this could have on me? On my career? I don’t know what she’s telling people. I don’t know who she’s telling or even why. But all it takes is one person to make an accusation, to say the wrong thing. That could be the end of everything I’ve worked for because you don’t recover from accusations like that. Ever.” Kenny’s voice had gotten louder with each word, his anger bubbling to the surface. And he was surprised. Not just by the words, but by the realization that he’d even been thinking them, that the worry over what else Lauren’s sister might be saying even existed. He hadn’t given it any thought, hadn’t even considered it. Not consciously, at least. But now that the words were out there, the sick realization scared him, souring his gut and twisting it into knots.
He reached for the beer bottle, studied it for a second, slammed it back down on the table.
“Lindsay would never do that.”
“Really? I don’t know that, do I? And I don’t think you do, either. After all, she was pretty quick to lie to you and tell you I slept with her.”
“So I guess that’s why you ran to my brother, hm? So worried about yourself about something that would never happen.”
“Actually, no. I was worried about you. I saw Dale at the rink and immediately thought something had happened to you. It was a stupid reaction. Trust me, I’ll make sure it won’t happen again.”
Lauren opened her mouth to say something then immediately shut it when the waiter appeared with their food. It was just as well, Kenny thought. Judging from the scowl on her face, he didn’t want to hear whatever she had been ready to say. He grabbed the bottle and took a long swallow of beer, eyeing the food being placed in front of them. The same distaste he suddenly felt was reflected on Lauren’s face and he wondered if he should just ask the waiter to bring some boxes. There was no way he felt like eating now, not when his appetite had vanished the second Lauren brought up her sister’s name.
So much for the nice date he had planned.
Silence settled between them, thick with tension and anger. He sipped from the bottle, watching Lauren through half-closed eyes. She looked as miserable as he felt. Tension tightened her features, creasing her forehead. Her lips were pressed together in a tight line, changing their color from a rosy pink to a pale, washed-out peach. Another long minute went by, awkward and oppressive. Lauren reached for the Naan bread, her movements short and clipped as she broke off a piece. She didn’t eat it, just stared at it for a few seconds, her frown deepening.
“Dammit.” She tossed the bread onto her plate and sat back, running both hands through her hair.
Kenny put the bottle down and slid his chair back. “I’ll get the waiter, ask for the check—”
“No. Wait.” She leaned forward and wrapped her hand around his wrist, her fingers cold and pale against his skin. Kenny didn’t move, just waited to see what she would say, wondering why she had stopped him.
Her tongue darted out, running across her lips as she looked down at her hand. The grip on his wrist tightened, just for a second, then she let go and dropped both hands into her lap. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s just…I guess Lindsay is a sore spot for me right now.”
Kenny sat back in the chair, tension still gripping his shoulders. He wasn’t sure what to say, how to respond. Did he want the night to end? Now, like this? No. But he didn’t want the blanket of tension to hover over them all night, either. And now that he gave voice to his concerns, put them out there where they had to face them, he wasn’t sure he could just act like it didn’t matter.
Judging from the look on Lauren’s face, he got the impression she felt the same way. So where did that leave them? Where did they go from here?
“You said you were worried about me. Why?”
He reached for the bottle of beer, frowned when he realized it was almost empty. The question didn’t surprise him, not really. The problem was, he had no idea how to answer her. Tell her the truth and risk completely destroying the rest of the night? He wouldn’t lie to her, and he didn’t think she’d let him get away with not answering, not when there was more than simple curiosity on her face.
“I really didn’t think we’d spend the night talking about your sister.”
“Neither did I. So why?”
“Lauren—” Hell. Did she really want to know? Maybe she did. Or maybe she just wanted an excuse to end the night. It didn’t matter. He wasn’t going to lie to her. “The other morning…it’s just—are you sure you really want to know?”
“Yeah, I do.”
Kenny took a deep breath, suddenly wishing he understood the fine art of tact. But that was something he’d never learned, never had to worry about it before. He glanced up, studying the tiled ceiling like he could find answers in the aged squares above them. Screw it. The only thing he could do was tell her the truth then be prepared to ask the waiter for the check when she got pissed.
“Lauren, I like you. I really do. But your sister…there’s something off about her. Something I don’t trust.”
“You can’t—”
“You asked. Please, let me finish.” He held his breath, waiting for the blow-up, but Lauren merely tightened her lips and nodded for him to continue. “The way she was looking at you, her eyes. They were just…I don’t know how to explain it. It was like she was being eaten alive by jealousy and hatred. And when she was talking to you, lying to you…I have a sister, I know all about sibling rivalry, okay? But we outgrew it when we stopped being kids. And even then, it was never like that. Never so…vicious. So deep and chilling.”
Kenny paused, waiting for Lauren to say something. She sat across from him, her body stiff and still, her dark eyes watching him without any real expression. No, that was a lie. He glimpsed sorrow in them, a deep sadness that made him want to move next to her and just pull her into his arms. She blinked and looked away, the expression gone. He lowered his gaze to the table, reaching for the fork and rolling it under his fingers just for something to do.
“I don’t know your sister, Lauren. I only met her the one time and then only briefly. But the way she talked to you even then—it wasn’t right. I would never dream of talking to my sister that way, and neither would she.” Kenny paused, cleared his throat in the silence. “When I saw your brother at the rink, I had no idea he was there to meet Randy. I guess my imagination ran away with me because the first thing I thought was that something had happened to you. That maybe…that maybe you and your sister got into a fight or that she…I overreacted. Jumped to conclusions. And then your brother wanted to know why I was worried and I didn’t even think, just told him what had happened.”
And Christ, now he really needed another drink. For not knowing what the hell to tell her, he sure said one hell of a lot. More than he should have. He pushed his chair back with a heavy sigh. “I’ll go get the check.”
“Kenny—no. Don’t.” She didn’t reach for him this time. She didn’t even move, just sat there, the sorrow clear in her eyes. Another minute went by then she slowly pushed her glass of wine across the table. “Here, looks like you could use this more than me right now.”
Her lips moved in what he thought was supposed to be a smile but it died before it even started. He looked down at her slender fingers, still resting on the base of the glass. He didn’t think, just reached out and grabbed her hand, threading his fingers with hers and giving them a gentle squeeze. She did smile that time, just a small sad one, there and gone in the space of a heartbeat.
“I just—” Lauren stopped and cleared her throat, the sound rusty and hoarse. “I just want you to know that I’m not usually such a defensive bitch. Honest.”
On Thin Ice (The Baltimore Banners Book 8) Page 16
