by Amy Andrews
Steffy glared at him, but the look of determination in his eyes told her he wasn’t going to give up on this. She knew deep in her heart he was right: she at least had to be true to herself.
“I’m just … sick of it, okay?”
“Of what?”
“Of all of it,” Steffy retorted. “Of the twisted love triangle between Liam and Hope and me. Of my mother trying to push me toward Liam and undermining Hope. Of Brooke trying to push Hope toward Liam and undermining me. Of the constant bickering and stress.”
Steffy stopped. She could already feel the tension in her shoulders at the thought of going back. After a year away, the mere thought of facing it all again made her ill.
“I’m sick of the fallout from Team Brooke and Team Taylor always jockeying for position at Forrester, having never let go of their feud. Having been slaves to a sick connection to a man who couldn’t make up his mind.”
“Ridge,” Bill muttered.
She nodded and then glanced at him. “I suppose that sounds disloyal to my father?”
Bill shook his head. “Your father has hardly been blameless in this.”
Steffy nodded. “I love my father, and finding sanctuary with him this last year has been exactly what I’ve needed. But it’s true, he’s as responsible as my mom and Brooke over this whole mess. And then they continued this feud with their daughters and we got caught up in that same stupid cycle. I’m tired of all the toxic relationships at Forrester because of it. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want Hope and I to repeat history. I just want out.”
She fell back against the seat as though her admission had been wrenched from deep inside her. Bill watched her silently.
She looked at him and grimaced. “Sorry. I don’t know where that came from.”
“Feels better though, doesn’t it?”
Steffy smiled at him. “Yes,” she admitted. “It feels surprisingly cathartic.”
“Good.” He handed her the letter. “My work here is done.” He chuckled.
His low laughter slid along Steffy’s frayed nerve endings, soothing them. “So you think I should rewrite this?” she asked, taking the envelope and turning it over in her hands.
Bill shook his head. “Nope. You’re your own woman, Steffy Forrester. You’re strong and capable and confident. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone or apologize. As long as you’re being honest with yourself.”
Steffy nodded slowly. Clearly it was fate that had set her on a collision course with Bill this morning. “Thank you.”
Bill smiled. “Any time.” He glanced out the window, noticing they were nearing Forrester Creations. Their time was running short and a part of him regretted it. Their conversation had been refreshingly candid.
“What will you do?”
Steffy shrugged. “I have absolutely no idea.”
He liked the way her new bangs feathered around her face, giving her a maturity he’d not seen before. Or maybe that was the effect of her revelations. “Well, don’t rush it,” he murmured.
She nodded. “I’m lucky I have the luxury of not needing to.”
Bill’s gaze meshed with hers. He’d never noticed the shimmer in her blue eyes, how luminous they were, before now. Her eyes had always seemed so hard and determined as she’d fought for Forrester with him. And when she’d fought for Liam, battled with Hope and Brooke to keep hold of her man. But—and maybe it was just because of what he knew now—he could see vulnerabilities in the wavy blue pools.
“My son is an idiot,” he murmured.
Steffy couldn’t look away from the honesty in Bill’s eyes. They were like the richest, darkest chocolate, sweet yet bitter all at once. “Yes. He is.”
Their gazes stayed locked, the space between them seeming to shrink, and it was only the limo gliding to a halt that pulled them out of the trance.
“Looks like we’re here,” Bill said.
Steffy felt like she had been dipped in honey and weighed down in chains. She looked slowly out the window. “I guess this is it. The moment of reckoning.”
As if on cue, the door opened and Carrington said, “Ma’am.”
Steffy nodded at him. “Thank you,” she said, turning to Bill. “For the ride. For everything. You’ve helped. A lot.”
Bill bowed his head slightly. “Any time you need a sounding board.”
Steffy smiled. “I may just take you up on that.” She turned to go.
“Steffy?”
“Yes?”
Bill’s gaze locked with hers again and he was overcome with an urge he couldn’t suppress. She was so brave and resilient—his admiration for her skyrocketed. He couldn’t help himself: he slid his hand onto her jaw and pressed his mouth against hers in a brief, hard kiss.
“Don’t let anyone talk you out of it,” he murmured against her mouth before he pulled away, his breathing surprisingly erratic for such a brief act.
Steffy blinked, her lips tingling, her heart hammering like a steam engine in her chest. She shook her head, suddenly mute.
“Go,” he said pulling completely back, his hand dropping away. “Go start your new life. I’ll see that your bags get to your apartment.”
Steffy felt a lump in her throat at his words. Bill wasn’t looking at her resignation as a door shutting, but as one opening. Maybe she should too.
She nodded. “Thank you.”
And then she exited the limo.
Chapter Two
Steffy walked down the stark marble corridor to her grandfather’s office, a clash of feelings rioting inside her. This place felt so much like home to her, the idea of leaving and never coming back seemed too bizarre to consider. So much of her life had been wrapped up in the family business she was sure leaving would feel like she’d had a limb amputated. But she couldn’t keep going like this. Some dependencies just weren’t healthy and she had to believe she could make her way in the world, carve a path for herself outside of Forrester Creations.
She was stopped several times on her way to her grandfather’s office by staff she hadn’t seen in over a year, who expressed their happiness at seeing her and their delight at how well she looked. It helped to calm her and keep her mind off her churning thoughts and the doubts that prowled, never far from reach.
And it kept her mind off the kiss. By the time Steffy got to the door labeled ERIC FORRESTER in raised gold lettering, she’d been in the building for fifteen minutes.
She paused to collect herself for a moment then, taking a deep breath, she knocked. There was no answer but she knew how engrossed her grandfather could become in his designs, so she turned the door handle and entered.
The office was empty and Steffy couldn’t help the spike of disappointment. For a start, she’d missed her grandfather while she’d been away and had been looking forward to one of his comforting hugs. And she needed to get this over and done with.
She entered the office, the familiar décor and big old heavy desk drawing her into a nostalgic lap of the spacious room. The soft carpet under foot, the dark wood-paneled walls displaying the expensive art to perfection, the bookshelves crammed with fashion industry awards.
Steffy ran her finger over the framed photographs boasting the Forrester family in their many guises over the years, smiling at the laughter and happiness radiating from their faces. She picked up a frame that held a picture of her and Thomas with their parents, Ridge and Taylor, so sure in their love. When did it go wrong for her mom and dad or had they always been doomed, like her and Liam?
She put the frame down, her heart heavy but determined to move on. She stepped around an easel displaying a sketch of a gorgeous strapless gown and picked up the swathe of fabric draped over one corner. It was the finest georgette in an electric blue shot with threads of silver. Steffy raised it to her face and brushed it against her cheek, sighing at the exquisite softness.
She took the fabric to the nearby sofa and sat, looking around the office that was part of her life. Her lungs filled with the familiar
smell: leather, paper and graphite. It took her back to being a child, sitting at her grandfather’s desk and trying to draw a gown her grandfather would be proud of, telling him she was going to be a designer just like him. Steffy smiled to herself at the memory, wishing that it didn’t have to be this way, wishing that she could go back in time and fix things so her parents could have stayed married, so she and Liam could be still be together.
Wishing they could all be one big happy family like the photographs on the bookshelves implied, instead of victims of bitter feuds and torn allegiances.
But they weren’t. And she couldn’t live like that—day in, day out—any longer.
Steffy stood and opened her bag, pulling out the white envelope, determined to go through with resigning and starting her life anew. She strode over to her grandfather’s desk and placed the letter on top of the paperwork awaiting his attention. It would be the first thing he saw when he sat down.
“Steffy?”
Steffy removed her hand from the envelope as if she’d been caught in the middle of some industrial espionage. She turned to face her brother, Thomas.
“Thomas.” She smiled, and when he opened his arms, Steffy practically ran into them.
“So … the rumor’s true—someone just called to tell me you were in the building,” Thomas said as they hugged. “When did you get in?”
Steffy squeezed her eyes shut as the sound of her brother’s voice formed a lump in her throat. “I just landed,” she said, injecting lightness into her suddenly shaky voice.
Spending time with her father away from it all had been something Steffy had needed to do but she’d missed her other family. She’d missed Thomas and her grandfather and her mother—particularly her mother. Taylor’s relentless championing of Liam had been too much to take after the miscarriage and after their marriage had disintegrated, and it had been good to escape it, but that hadn’t stopped Steffy from missing her.
Taylor had visited Paris twice during Steffy’s self-imposed exile and it had been wonderful to see her. But the second visit, just prior to the annulment becoming final, had been a little strained. Taylor had desperately tried to talk Steffy out of what she believed to be a rash and impetuous decision, one her daughter would live to regret. She’d begged Steffy to reconsider, to realize that she was pushing her husband into the arms of Hope.
“Why didn’t you tell us you were coming back?” Thomas chided. “We could have met you at the airport.”
Steffy shrugged. “I wanted to surprise everyone,” she said, which wasn’t entirely true. She’d known she’d needed to start out as she meant to go on. She needed to do things under her own steam.
“You look good. Love the haircut.” Thomas smiled at his sister. “How are you feeling?”
Steffy could feel the weight of the question as her brother’s gaze searched her face earnestly. “I’m good,” Steffy assured. “Really good.” She smiled at him for extra emphasis.
“You know … now that you’re back, I’m sure Liam would love to hear from you …” Thomas said tentatively.
Steffy’s smile became strained. “Thomas.”
Thomas held up his hands. “I know, I know. I’m not …” He sighed. “You have to run into him eventually.”
Steffy nodded. “I know. But not today. I need to see Mom and then I need to go home and sleep for a week. I just came by to drop something off for Grandfather and say hi to you.”
Thomas frowned and Steffy noticed his gaze flick to the desk before focusing back on her. “Drop what off?”
Steffy hadn’t planned on telling Thomas today—she figured her grandfather would soon enough—but now that he was here it seemed cowardly to let someone else drop the bombshell. Their mother had fought hard for them to have their rightful place at Forrester Creations and she knew Thomas would be just as gutted by Steffy’s decision as Eric.
“I just dropped off my letter of resignation.” Steffy watched Thomas carefully. A storm of emotions flitted across her brother’s handsome face: worry; confusion; outrage.
“Steffy,” Thomas said, taking a step toward her. “You don’t mean that—you’re still suffering emotional scars from the miscarriage, the annulment … You should never make huge life-changing decisions after going through the things you have.”
“God, you sound like Mom,” Steffy said. “Please don’t analyze me. I’ve done a lot of thinking; a lot of growing. And I want this.”
Thomas frowned. “Want what?”
“A chance at a new life. Something … different.”
Thomas shook his head. “Forrester Creations is our birthright, Steffy. It’s our legacy. It’s what we were born to do.”
“No.” Steffy shook her head sadly. “It’s what I was born into, not necessarily what I was born to do.”
“But …” Thomas took a step toward Steffy. “You need stability and familiarity. A job you know, people who care about you. Now you’re here where you belong you can start claiming back your life. You can claim Liam back.”
Steffy gave an exasperated sigh. Thomas didn’t understand. He’d always been on Liam’s side.
She strode over to the bookshelf to calm down. “I know you find this hard to believe,” she said eventually, “but I don’t want Liam back.”
“Since when?” Thomas demanded.
Steffy felt the tight band of tension that had built during the flight, and cranked tighter the second she’d stepped into Forrester Creations, give an almighty snap. She whipped around. “Is he still with Hope?”
“Well … yes … but you shouldn’t let that stop you, Steffy, you’ve lured him away before, I’m sure—”
“No, Thomas.” Steffy said, cutting her brother off. “Enough. I’m sick of it. I know that you want Hope for yourself but I don’t want to still be fighting this battle in twenty years’ time like Mom and Brooke. I don’t want history repeating itself.” Steffy gave an almost hysterical laugh. “I’ve made my choice. I’m not going to be kept on some string like Mom was over Dad.”
She and Thomas had both suffered from the battle royal for Ridge Forrester. Hell, they’d grown up without a father figure for most of their lives when her father had chosen Brooke over Taylor. And she wasn’t going to perpetuate the cycle anymore.
Thomas grimaced. “I know that wasn’t an easy time and I’m sorry, Steffy. I just want what’s best for you.”
Steffy nodded. “I know,” she murmured. “Just trust me. Support me. I’m not saying I’m going to be gone from Forrester Creations forever.”
Thomas nodded. “So what are you going to do? Get a job with another fashion house? Our grandfather won’t be too happy about that.” Thomas laughed and even though it sounded worried to Steffy’s ears she appreciated her brother trying to lighten the mood.
“No, I don’t think so,” she replied. “I think it’s time for a complete change. Leave fashion altogether.”
Steffy noted the slight widening of her brother’s eyes and could tell he was struggling with her lack of direction.
“Okay.”
“It will be,” Steffy said, determined to sound confident instead of aimless and scared witless. “Okay, that is. I have a good business grounding and who knows, I may even go back to school, study something completely different. Maybe I’ll do psychology, like Mom?”
Thomas frowned. “You’ve never mentioned a desire to follow in her footsteps before.”
Steffy shrugged. “I don’t know, I really don’t. But the point is, I get to choose now. Forrester was always a foregone conclusion—now I get to pick.”
Steffy was grateful when her brother pulled her in for another hug and she took a moment to absorb the confidence and assuredness Thomas had always displayed. Her brother was strong and not afraid to go after what he wanted.
Steffy needed that right now more than anything.
*
Ten minutes later, Steffy was almost out of the building. Freedom beckoned and the closer she drew to the glass entryway, the faster she
walked.
But it wasn’t to be her day for fast exits.
“Steffy.”
Steffy halted at the voice she knew so well. Liam. Liam who had told her he’d loved her. Who had said I do. Who’d vowed in front of God and all their family that he would love her only. That he’d be there for her and the baby.
Until death do us part.
Steffy prayed for her mother’s strength as she turned to face him, expecting the same old funny wobble in her belly she always experienced. But it didn’t come.
Sure, he was as achingly good-looking as always in his superbly cut suit. So much of her life had been tied up in his dizzying charisma, but a year apart had made her wary, hardened her heart. When she looked at him now, she could see him for his actions instead of his looks. She remembered his broken promises.
“Liam.” Steffy was so proud of the coolness in her voice. There was none of the old breathy Steffy, wearing her heart on her sleeve and praying for any morsel of attention from him. Her voice was strong and firm. Her voice said, I’m over you. And she made sure her gaze sent exactly the same message.
“Thomas just called to tell me you were back.”
Steffy felt a kick of annoyance. Was her brother meddling—already? “Yes.”
“Are you back for good?”
Steffy nodded. “Yes.”
Liam smiled. “That’s great,” he said, stepping toward her, his arms extended, his intention to hug her clear.
Steffy stepped back a pace and held up her hands to ward him off. Liam stopped and frowned. “What, we can’t even hug now?”
Steffy shook her head. “I think it’s better if we don’t.”
Liam shoved his hands into his pockets. “I thought we could still be friends.”
“Maybe one day … but not now.”
“That’s just plain silly,” Liam said. “We were married, for Pete’s sake.”
Steffy bristled at having her perfectly valid feelings being reduced to “silly.”
