Room to Grow

by Lisa Heaton

  Whatever it was, he was determined to get to the bottom of it before it could become a problem for Sophie. They had only recently dodged what could have been a crisis in their marriage. He wasn’t going to sit idly by and allow himself to be blindsided if Chloe had a problem with him or them.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Several days passed with Josh still uneasy over Chloe’s recent change in disposition. It wasn’t his imagination; something was up with her. She was always polite and friendly as usual, but still, he knew something was different; a distance had formed. It boiled down to the fact that she would hardly ever look him in the eye. That’s wasn’t like her.

  The only way he would know for sure was to talk to her about it, but he didn’t want to worry Sophie unnecessarily. They were all usually together in the morning for breakfast, so his only hope was to catch her at night after Sophie went to bed.

  With Chloe’s erratic schedule, that wasn’t proving easy to do. In recent days she was home later than midnight every night. That night, after Sophie drifted off, Josh had come down to the living room to wait for her.

  He sat in the darkened living room and waited until he heard her car pull into the drive. The car door closed and he expected her to come through the front door at any time. When she didn’t, he moved to the front window to look out.

  Josh blinked and then narrowed his eyes, making sure he was seeing what he thought he was seeing. Sure enough, Drake’s car was there in front of the house, and Chloe was leaning in the driver’s side window kissing him.

  All the pieces fell into place from there. Drake’s semi-distance and his infrequent phone calls made sense. Even at church, Drake wasn’t often around. Chloe was going to their church but to a different service. Maybe she and Drake were going to church together.

  Why hadn’t Chloe or Drake told them? Whatever the reason, he was pretty ticked off to have been kept in the dark. He had shared his deepest feelings and problems with Drake over the years. Now, for Drake to keep something so monumental as dating Chloe from him was not cool.

  Unsure of how to proceed, Josh jogged up the stairs and to his bedroom. He would need to think it over before confronting either of them.

  “What are you doing?” Sophie said when he got into bed.

  “Just a little roaming.”

  She didn’t stay awake long enough to ask any more questions.

  The next day, Josh stewed on and off over Chloe and Drake’s secret. It was Thursday, so he would be at Bible study with Drake that night. That thought irritated him, the fact that Drake had been with him every Thursday night and hadn’t mentioned it. Until this, Josh believed they had shared everything of any importance with each other, at least he shared with Drake.

  Josh considered how long it must have been going on and had concluded since before Chloe had moved back home. The day they moved her things from Knoxville, Drake had offered to help. At the time Josh had thought Drake was just being helpful.

  Then Chloe announced she was going to work for Drake at the café almost immediately upon her return, so that had been planned for a while most likely.

  So it all pointed back to the day Chloe and Drake had taken furniture to the storage unit. Josh had met them there to help unload. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary as far as he could remember, but obviously something significant had started that day.

  Sophie had only mentioned her curiosity over Chloe’s love life one other time after Austin had contacted Chloe. Sophie said if Chloe was interested in anyone else, she was keeping it quiet even from her. Once, Sophie said she wondered if maybe Chloe was spending part of her time with her dad but hated to tell them. That had made sense to Josh and even had him a little worried.

  “Where are you?” Sophie said as she moved around his desk and reached into the top drawer for a file.

  “A million miles away.”

  “I can see that.” She smiled and sat on the edge of his desk. “Everything okay?”

  “Everything’s great. I’m just pondering stuff.”

  “Pondering stuff? I think that’s called daydreaming.”

  “Guys don’t daydream.”

  Sophie moved in to kiss him. “Never?” Her grin was flirty.

  “Well, maybe sometimes.” He took her face in his hands and kissed her back.

  She took hold of his wrists and pulled his hands from her face. “You’re not starting all that. I have work to finish, then I have to get home and bake something to take to Justine’s.”

  “I thought your group met at our house tonight,” he said.

  “Justine invited a neighbor, so we thought we would make it easier on her.”

  “Okay, babe.” He nudged her from his desk. “Get on out of here before I decide not to let you go.”

  Josh’s and Drake’s Thursday night group was made up of mostly the same men who had been meeting together for the past four years. They all knew each other’s business from the best to the worst. A closeness had so formed over the years that Josh considered all of them brothers. None compared to his relationship with Drake, though. That was why Drake’s keeping his relationship with Chloe a secret felt more like a wound than a slight.

  Conversation flowed that night as it usually did. Drake led the lesson this week. As God would have it, a conversation arose about transparency without Josh initiating it, but he sure took advantage of it.

  “I’ve found that anything kept in the darkness can have tremendous power over you,” Josh said to the group as a whole.

  He scanned the group and locked eyes with Drake at one point. Drake looked away.

  Soon enough their time was up, and one by one the men left until only Josh and Drake remained. They went about the business of stacking chairs without speaking. On occasion, out of the corner of his eye, Josh would see Drake looking at him. Drake was clearly burdened; Josh had known him too long not to pick up on it.

  “We should talk,” Drake said and removed an overturned chair from a table. He took a seat.

  “Sure.” Josh moved a chair close to him.

  “There’s something that has been bothering me for so long, something I’ve been keeping from you.” Drake shook his head and looked away. “Tonight’s lesson crushed me with conviction.”

  “Why would you keep something so significant from me?”

  Drake’s head snapped around to look at him, his eyes wide. “You know?”

  “Not until last night. I saw you in front of the house.”

  “I’ve wanted to tell you all along.”

  “How long is all along?”

  “Since we moved Sophie.”

  “So you’ve been sneaking around for over five months?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Why?”

  With a shrug, Drake said, “I don’t know. Chloe just didn’t want anyone to know yet. I disagreed, but she begged me not to tell you.”

  Josh sat with that a moment. Finally, he said, “Is she mad at me?”

  “No. She thinks you’re awesome for her mom. She talks about you both all the time.” Drake leaned back in his chair. “I honestly don’t know what the big deal is. When I’ve asked her why, she won’t really say.”

  Drake was rarely serious about anyone. Since Josh had known him, Drake had dated plenty but never continuously. The longest a relationship had lasted was a few weeks before Drake ended it. Five months with Chloe said something in Josh’s opinion.

  “Is this serious?” Josh said. “I mean, like, do you see it going somewhere, or is it just a passing thing?”

  “Yeah, it’s serious.”

  “If she doesn’t want anyone to know, do you think she’s serious?”

  “I think she is.” Drake paused a second. “I kinda know she is.”

  “So you’re in love with her?”

  “Since I met her.”

  Josh tapped his foot and smiled. “That movie night?”

  Drake chuckled. “Okay, maybe infatuated then. I just know I was irritated that she kept fighting with so
me guy all night on the phone. I couldn’t imagine what guy would ever let her go.”

  “I get that.” Josh nodded. “She’s a great girl.”

  “I only now get what you meant when you said you knew right away that Sophie was the one. That’s how I feel. I can’t imagine life without her.”

  Josh pulled in the drive and was glad to see Sophie wasn’t home yet. He wanted to talk to Chloe alone.

  When he walked through the front door, he found her sitting there on the stairs waiting for him. He sat next to her but said nothing.

  “Are you mad?” Chloe said.

  “I was.”

  “And now?”

  “Confused, I guess. I thought we were good.”

  “We are good.”

  “Then why would you keep this from me, from us?”

  “I didn’t know what you would say to Drake.”

  “What did you think I would say?”

  She looked away. “I don’t know. I thought you may warn him not to date me.”

  Josh took her arm to urge her to look at him. “Why would I do that?”

  Chloe only glanced up at him. “Because of what a lunatic I was last year. If it weren’t for me, you would have married after you asked her the first time. What I did got in the way of the greatest proposal.”

  “Look at me.” When she did, he said, “Honestly, I was just as much a lunatic as you. That proposal was me in panic mode. Things with you scared me. I was so afraid of losing your mom. I should have never proposed so soon.”

  “I came so close to ruining the best thing that’s ever happened to my mom.”

  “You were in a bad place at the time. What happened with your parents took as much of a toll on you.” He paused, unsure if he should speak his real thoughts. “I’m not trying to take a shot at your dad, but I’m just saying what it seemed to me. You were hurting, and he took advantage of that and manipulated you to try to get your mom back. That wasn’t fair to you or your mom.”

  “I didn’t see it then.”

  “None of that even matters now, Chloe. I’m with your mom. She’s happy. All of that is forgiven.”

  Chloe sighed and grinned. “I’ve never seen her any happier. You really are the best thing that’s ever happened to her.”

  “I might need to share that title with you. She’s pretty fond of you, too.”

  “I can’t blame her, really,” Chloe said.

  He chuckled. “Me either. You’re a funny and bright and beautiful girl.” He stopped and looked at her. “I’m not sure how we define who we are to each other, but because you are a part of your mom, you’re a part of me now. We’re family. The truth is, I would give my life for you. I know the idea of me as your step-dad feels pretty weird, but I love you like you’re my kid.”

  “Yeah, step-dad is a little weird since you were, like, nine when I was born. But now that you’re thirty, I may be able handle it.”

  He smiled at that. “I want the best for you, Chloe. You’ll never find any better than Drake.”

  “I know that. I love him so much it almost hurts. I guess that’s why you saying something to him scared me so much. I can’t lose him.”

  “If anyone gets that, I do,” he said. “So now that we’ve talked as family, can I say something to you as Drake’s best friend?”

  “Sure.”

  “From my own experience, what’s always been the most beautiful thing about your mom was her faith. It’s because of her that I even ran after Jesus. Did you know that?”

  “No, she’s never mentioned it.”

  “Drake deserves a woman who runs after Jesus with him – and if anyone does, he runs after Jesus.”

  Chloe nodded.

  “I assume you’ve been going with him to church.”

  “I have.”

  “I don’t know where you are in your walk, Chloe, but if I can give you any advice at all, it’s this: Watch your mom. Do what she does. A morning doesn’t go by that we don’t find her out on her porch spending time with Jesus. She keeps putting Him first.” He shrugged, “Maybe we both need to learn from that.”

  “Why would you need to learn from that? Other than Drake, I’ve never known a man who lives what he believes the way you do.”

  Josh scratched his head. “I said something to her recently, something I’ve said countless times, but now it has me thinking. I tell her she’s my world.”

  “What’s wrong with that?”

  “It’s okay to love someone as much as I love her, but I fear I may get a little off balance sometimes. It’s always got to be Jesus first, then her. I think I forget that sometimes. We can only love others with our best when we love Him first.”

  He watched her ponder that. “Love Jesus first, Chloe, and then you’ll love Drake as much as he deserves.”

  She leaned in and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m sorry I made him keep it secret. He’s been miserable.”

  The door opened and Sophie stood there looking at them wide eyed. “What’s wrong?”

  Josh stood and went to kiss Sophie on the cheek. “Nothing’s wrong, but I figured out a little secret.” He looked at Chloe. “Do you want to tell your mom?”

  “I’m dating Drake.”

  Sophie shrugged as if it was no big deal. “Yeah, I figured as much.”

  “You knew?” Chloe said.

  “You glow when you talk about him. How could I not know?”

  Josh threw his arms in the air. “And you didn’t say anything to me?”

  “I didn’t know if you would approve, so I figured I would wait–”

  “Why would I not approve?”

  Sophie shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s your best friend. I thought maybe you would think it was weird.”

  “We’re all about weird in this family,” he said. “Having my best friend as my step son-in-law would be the greatest.”

  Chloe grabbed Josh’s arm. “Did he say he wants to marry me?”

  Josh’s eyes grew wide. “Um, yeah.” He leaned in closer. “If he hasn’t said that to you, then don’t you dare say I told you.”

  Chloe squealed and hugged her mom. At that Josh said, “I’ve had all the girl drama I can take for one night.” He made his way up the stairs. “See you upstairs, babe. ’Night, Chlo.”

  He knew that was going to be a long conversation.

  ***

  Sophie sat and talked with Chloe for over an hour.

  “Do you know how long it’s been since we’ve done this?” Sophie said.

  “I know. I’ve wanted to tell you.” Chloe paused and sat looking at her mom. “I’ve been dying to tell you, but I knew you would tell Josh.”

  “You were afraid of what he would think?”

  “Yeah, kinda.”

  “But now you know he’s fine with it.”

  Chloe smiled and her face softened. “Yeah, he’s more than fine with it.” Her eyes widened. “I haven’t told Daddy.”

  Sophie grimaced. “Yeah, that’ll be a hard sell.”

  “I know. I dread it. Drake has asked me several times why I haven’t told him.” She stopped and shook her head. “You know he’s not going to think Drake’s good enough.”

  “He just doesn’t know him.”

  “Just the fact that he has a restaurant instead of a corporate job will make Daddy disapprove.” Chloe forced a laugh. “And Grandmother Banks.”

  Sophie didn’t even smile at that. “And Christmas is just around the corner.”

  Chloe fell over onto the sofa cushion. “You’ll go with me, right?”

  Sophie laughed out loud at that. “You’re on your own, kiddo.”

  When Chloe leaned over and rested her head on Sophie’s shoulder, Sophie said, “Is there something else?”

  “Yeah.” She sat a few seconds, then said, “We haven’t.”

  “You mean had sex?”

  “Right. He’s not like that.”

  “I could have guessed that. I think he and Josh made a pact.”

  Chloe looked
up at her. “Y’all didn’t?”

  “No, not until we married.”

  “Hmm, I just assumed.” Chloe looked at her thoughtfully. “So only two ever?”

  Sophie nodded. “Only two ever.”

  “I was with Austin.”

  “I guessed.”

  “I think that’s why I fought so hard for us to stay together. He was my first.”

  “That was no reason to make something work, especially with all the arguing.”

  “I wanted to be like you.”

  “Like me?”

  “Yeah, you had only ever been with Daddy.” She grinned. “I guess I’ll still be like you – only two.”

  “Does Drake know about Austin?”

  “Yes. It bothers him since he knows I loved him.”

  “I can understand that, but time will make that better. The longer you’re together, the more that will all fade.”

  “Like you with Josh?”

  “Yeah, just like that.”

  Chloe said, “He did great with Daddy at the graduation, didn’t he?”

  “He did. I was proud of him. Now that he knows I’m his, he’s not threatened. You’ll see. Drake will settle in and feel the same.”

  “He thinks I’m ashamed of him, that’s why I won’t tell anyone.”

  “Are you?”

  “No, absolutely not. I just know how Daddy is. He’ll judge.”

  “He probably will. You just have to decide what Drake means to you.”

  Chloe’s eyes filled with tears. “All this time, seeing you with Josh, I didn’t think I would ever find someone to love me that way.” A smile formed on her face. “Drake does.”

  “And do you love him the way I love Josh?”

  “No doubt about it.”

  “Then you need to grab hold of that love and never let it go, no matter what your dad thinks.”

  “I can learn that from you, Mom.”

  Sophie opened the door, trying not to wake Josh. The room was quiet, so she got ready for bed and slipped in next to him.