Debbie went to the bathroom and got herself a glass of water. She returned to the room and we sat on the chairs by the table. She took a sip. I downed a mouthful of Coors. We both lit a cigarette. I looked at her while she looked at the floor.
"So, Debbie, you're not sure if you're gay or not," I said, trying to lighten the mood. "What happened to the people who say you're born that way and can't help it?"
She looked up at me. "I really do think some people are that way. I thought I was, maybe still am. I don't know. Holly came onto me. I won't go into all the details, but she—"
"No, please." I touched her hand. "Go into all the details you want. I want to hear everything. I can handle it." I smiled.
"You're such a perv. Have you ever thought about two women doing it?"
"Of course."
"Good. I don't want to disappoint you with reality, so let's just leave it in your mind." Her face remained solemn. "Anyway, Holly made the first move and it was the best sex I ever had. Probably the thrill of something new. I can't tell you how flattered I was that a woman as good-looking as her came onto me." She pointed to herself. "I was in awe of her beauty, and she wanted me." She took a deep breath and sipped her water. "Anyway," she continued, "I figured, we were drunk, and it was a one time thing. But she kept coming 'round to my room or inviting me over to her place, and we always had amazing sex. It felt like we were a proper couple. I fell in love and told her one night. That freaked her out. She started calling me a lesbo, and…well, let's just say she got really nasty. She never spoke to me again."
"So why'd you think Holly played the game?"
She shrugged. "Don't know. Maybe because I kept telling her how lucky I felt and how beautiful she was. She's got a really big ego that needs regular stroking, but I'm sure you already figured that out. I think for her, it was a drunken encounter, then experimental, and then being flattered. I really did idolize her, and she knew it. If she snapped her fingers, I jumped. No doubt she liked the power."
"Wow. I always figured she could be a bit mean, but that's below the belt calling you names and everything." I took another drink and noticed Debbie staring down at the carpet in what looked like a visit to the past. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."
"I know how you meant it. No worries. Anyway, we were together for four months, so I figured that was what I was. I had a few other girlfriends after that. I thought me and Lisa were solid. She turned out to be a lying, cheating bitch, and I started thinking again about what it would be like to be in a relationship where I didn't have to sneak around, keep it hidden and not be able to tell anyone." She wiped away a tear. "Tyler, I don't know if I'm gay or not. I thought you'd be a good way to find out. You strike me as a guy who can turn off his emotions. I don't want a stalker if I turn out to be any good at this hetero stuff."
I took her hand that was resting on the table. "Debbie, I might be doing myself out of free sex here, but you don't need to do this. I don't think you're gay."
"You're sweet, Tyler. Sometimes an asshole, but a sweet, caring asshole. I've primed myself for the last week for this moment, and I want to do it. I need to know, once and for all. I need to know how I feel when…well, you know."
"So, are you going to judge your entire life on one fuck?"
"No, but it's a start." She put her finger on her lower lip and pulled it down. "Tyler, do you want me?"
"Do I want you?" I stood up and unbuttoned my shirt. "Let's find out how gay you really are."
#
We shared a taxi back to Pearl Harbor Sunday morning. I had never had so much sober sex, and I don't think she ever had so much straight sex. It turned out to be a quiet ride back to base. I sensed she was deep in thought and wanted some peace to search her feelings. I gave her a peck on the cheek before we got out of the taxi and headed off to our respective dorms.
I walked into an empty dorm room, which I was happy about as it gave me time to lay on the bed and relive the moments of the night before. I could have really gone for Debbie. But if it wasn't for Holly, I'd be kicked out by now. I had to keep Holly sweet even if she did bug me. And it wouldn't be wise to keep screwing Debbie under the circumstances, no matter how much I wanted to.
Mark interrupted my thoughts as he entered the room. He pulled up a chair next to my bed and sat down. "So, Tyler, fuck any hot lesbians lately?"
"None of your business."
He threw his hands up. "Wait a minute, it was my business not that long ago. Is she lezzy or not?"
"The jury's still out."
"Well, while you were standing jury duty, Holly stopped by."
I bolted upright in bed. "What did she want?" I could hear the panic in my own voice.
"Relax. I told her you were probably down on Shit Street dorking some stripper." He smiled, but returned to seriousness when I didn't smile back. "Just kidding. I told her you went down to Gussie's Bar for dollar/pitcher night. She said for you to call her when you got back."
"Thanks."
"You know, if you gave me a buck for every time I lied for you, I'd get my fifty bucks back in a day or two. So what's the deal with Debbie?"
"No-strings sex. I did my part; now it's up to her which way she goes. I better go call Holly."
"You're a cold bastard."
"Runs in the family. Like father, like son."
#
I arrived at Holly's later that day as per her request, or demand as it was. She greeted me at the door with a certain coldness and showed me through to the living room while she made some coffee. We sat down and her eyes searched my face like an interrogation Gestapo. I practiced my innocent look.
"So, where were you last night?" she asked.
"I went down to Gussie's. Pitcher of beer for a dollar night."
"So, you're going out drinking without asking your girlfriend now, are you?" She flicked her hair with her hand. "Were there any girls there?"
"Of course there were girls there. It's a bar, not a monastery." I instantly regretted what I said. Holly didn't take flippancy well.
She wagged her finger in my face. "Don't get an attitude with me, Chambers. We're like going together." She suddenly gasped and put her hand to her chest. "Oh my God! You weren't looking for a younger woman, were you?"
Holy shit. Much younger than her and they'd still be in high school. "Course not, babe. After a sophisticated woman like you, how could I possibly go chasing after teeny-boppers?"
She smiled. "True, but maybe I wanted to go out for a drink. Ever think of that?" She folded her arms and slightly flexed her arm like there was an SS insignia on it.
"Yes, I did. That's why I'm a bit embarrassed." I hung my head in pretend shame. "I only had five dollars drinking money. I could hardly call you up and say 'Hey, babe, I got five bucks. Fancy a drink?' Now could I?" I pulled my head up, looked at her and flashed my baby blues that I knew she was a sucker for. "You know I think the world of you. You deserve class, not to be asked out to some seedy bar supping suds for a buck."
She sighed. "Well, okay. But you need to be spending your time with me. I don't like you going around where other girls can get their claws into you." She took my hands in hers. "I know you only want me, but some women can be quite cunning when they want to be. Check with me before you go out next time."
I felt myself snap from the pressure of being under her thumb. I couldn't deal with it anymore. She had to go. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, reminding myself to duck if she started throwing things.
"Umm…Holly, can we talk a minute? I'm not so sure that we, umm…what I mean is—"
"Oh-My-God. Wait." She held up her open palm. "Before you say whatever it is you want to say, I'm going to say something. I know you're with me because you like me. I don't know, maybe you even like love me. I'm sure the fact that I risked my military career for you has nothing to do with our relationship. I'm quite happy to sit in my office and make sure that nothing else from the Fort Wayne Navy recruiter's office finds its way onto Lieutenant Johnson'
s desk. That's what girlfriends do for their boyfriends. Right?"
"I guess so. Sure."
She patted my leg and smiled. "As long as we're clear about or relationship. I'm sure we both want the same things, right?"
I forced myself to nod.
"Okay, like what did you want to say?"
I wiped what felt like a torrent of sweat from my forehead. "I just wanted to say how much I care about you. I get a little nervous when I try to talk about emotions and stuff. That's why maybe I seemed a little hesitant at first. But yeah, we're cool and I think you're great." I leaned over and kissed her.
"How sweet. That's what I like to hear." Her smile and the look in her eyes said, 'I got you by the short and curlies'. "Did you bring your swimming trunks like I told you?"
"Yeah. They're in my overnight bag."
"Good. Let's get changed and go to the beach. I know a secluded place on the other side of the island. If you're a good boy, I might let you make love to me on the beach." She stroked my cheek with the back of her hand.
Make love? "I can't believe how lucky I am, Holly. Good looking, smart, adventurous. You're everything a guy could want."
She patted my cheek. "I know. That's what you get for going out with an older woman."
#
Mark laid on his bed as I nervously changed into civilian clothes after work the day after I last saw Holly. My head was all over the place as to what I was supposed to be doing to whom and when.
"So, who's the lucky lesbian tonight?" Mark asked.
I pulled up a chair next to his bed and sat down. "Can I talk to you a minute? I can trust you, right?"
Mark rolled over to lay on his side, propped his head in his hand, elbow resting on the bed and looked at me. "Let's see. You got me involved in a barroom brawl, all because you wanted to stuff some stripper on stage. I constantly lie to your girlfriend for you to keep you out of the shit. You told me you lied on your enlistment papers, almost got kicked out, but had your girlfriend make up false documents to keep your butt in. And you cheated on your girlfriend with her former lesbian lover. I don't know. You sure you can trust me?"
"Touché. That's French for shut up. What am I going to do about Holly? Man, the chick's driving me crazy. Now I need her permission to go anywhere without her. Last week she said she thinks I drink too much. She's really tightening the screws, and more or less told me if I dump her, some more papers might find their way to the division officer saying that I'm not the saint everyone thinks I am."
"I told you blackmail was a poor foundation for a relationship. She's got it over you, man." He held a finger up. "But don't forget, her fingerprints are all over the crime scene as well. You could remind her of that, then dump her."
"Yeah, I could. Pretty risky though. She really did save my ass." I dropped my look toward the floor. "I'd feel guilty if I did that."
"You? Feel guilty? Give me a break. I've never heard anything more ridiculous in my life. There's more chance of the Japs bombing this place again before you'd ever feel guilt."
I looked up. "Well, you know what I mean."
"No, I don't, actually. Seriously, Tyler, you're my friend. We have a great laugh together, and you know I'd do anything for you. But I think you've had some kind of surgery to remove—"
"Okay, okay," I interrupted. "I get your point. Maybe it was a poor choice of words. But how else can I shake her?"
"Get her to dump you," he said matter of factly. "Pick a fight with her until she gets so mad she tells you to get out. Or tell her you know about her past with Debbie, and you'll tell the Navy she a lesbian and get her kicked out if she doesn't back off. Or take her to a strip joint, get up on stage and start stuffing a stripper while she's watching." Mark rolled over on his back and started kicking his feet up and down on the bed. "That's if you can get it up!" He laughed and kept kicking his feet. "Man, I loved that."
I laughed too. "I suppose it was funny. It wasn't at the time, though. Fucking jarhead." I smacked his leg. "Thanks, buddy. I needed the talk. I don't know what I'd do without you. But, I have to face it. She's got me by the balls."
"I wasn't much help on this one. I don't think you actually need a girlfriend. You seem to do a pretty good job of fucking yourself on your own. So you going to see Holly now?"
"No, Debbie said she wanted to see me. She probably wants to tell me if she's gay or not."
Mark grabbed the pillow from behind his head and hit me with it. "You're unbelievable."
"Laters." I got up and left.
#
I arrived at Debbie's dorm. She welcomed me with a warm smile and a kiss on the cheek. She looked sexy in high, tight shorts and an orange halter top. She brought out a few beers from her mini-fridge and we sat down at her table.
"I hope you don't think I've been avoiding you," she said, "but I've been doing a lot of thinking lately."
"I thought you would be." I cracked my beer open and took a drink. "Just let me say, I really enjoyed our night together, and I respect whatever you decide to do."
"Thanks, I know you will." She placed her hand on mine. "I don't think I'm really gay. I think—"
"What a minute." I held my palm up. "Before you switch back, any chance of a threesome?" I smiled.
She swatted her hand at me. "I knew I could count on you to come out with something like that. No." She sipped her beer. "I've never had a lot of boyfriends, but the ones I did go out with always treated me like shit. Holly was the first person to ever treat me nicely in a relationship. Overbearing, but nice. I think feeling like I was special for the first time may have misguided me."
"You mean Holly was nice to you?"
"You sound surprised. I know she can be demanding at times, and she does like to control the relationship. She's five years younger than me, but she was so authoritative. That was fine. I liked someone being forceful with me, it was quite a turn on. It made me feel like she really cared about me. Has she ever said anything to you about having gay experiences?"
"Are you kidding? No, and I've never asked. So what happened after Holly?" I took another sip and it was going down smooth.
"Another girl came onto me, and I reciprocated. It didn't last long. I was on the rebound and, well, it just didn't work out. We're still friends. It was an amicable split. Then I met Lisa. I really fell for her, and then she did the dirty on me."
"So what made you think that maybe you're not gay?"
"After Holly, the sex was never as good. Sometimes I didn't even enjoy it. I began to realize that I was more in love with the idea that someone actually cared about me, and not so much the sex or the lifestyle. I felt needed and loved. That's all I wanted out of the relationship. So, when Lisa dumped me, I started wondering what it would be like to have sex with a guy again. I wanted to see if I enjoyed it. It had been so long, I had forgotten."
I lit a cigarette and she slid the ashtray over.
"I've come to the conclusion that anyone can treat you like shit. Male or female. So I'll just have to take the chance. Yes, the night with you, I must admit, I enjoyed the sex more than I did with Lisa."
"And you're sure about this?"
She nodded. "Yes. So, how are you and Holly getting along by the way?"
"Not sure. I like her in some ways, but she drives me around the twist in others. We'll see."
"I know it's difficult, but she is good in bed, isn't she? I'll give her that." She lit a cigarette.
I didn't say anything. I wasn't sure if I was ready to compare notes about a mutual fuck with another girl.
She blew out a puff of smoke. "If you do break it off with her, will you put me on your available list?"
I help a hand up. "Wait a minute. I thought this was all about no strings, unemotional, non-stalking sex. Are you saying you want a relationship?"
"No, I'm saying I want no strings, unemotional, non-stalking sex."
"I can do that, Debbie, but somehow I don't think you can. You just told me that you needed to feel loved, and cared abou
t. That was more important than the sex."
She took a drag of her cigarette. "When we did it, I enjoyed it just for what it was. Sex. I can give the relationship thing a rest for a while." Her face lit up with an enlightened idea. "We could be like fuck-buddies even if you don't give up Holly. I'll need the practice if I'm going hetero." She touched my hand. "Come on, Tyler, two women on the go. I thought that would be right up your alley."
My eyes wandered over her bronze body. There was no denying she looked hot. "Look, Debs, I can't. I was happy to help you out as a friend. You know, helping you find your sexuality and stuff. But I really need to make a go of it with Holly. She'd kill me if she found out. I think you're great, and if I hadn't already hooked up with Holly, yeah, I'd go for you in a heartbeat."
She pushed her lips to one side of her closed mouth and looked at me with those piercing eyes.
I took a drag and stubbed out my cigarette.
"Sorry, Debs."
She pulled the bow behind her head and let her halter top fall, revealing her perky breasts. She walked over and held my face with both hands. She leaned into me, her lips brushing mine, her breasts pressing against my chest. Her subtle flowery fragrance graced my nose. The kiss grew passionate.
She moved away and dropped her shorts, standing naked before me. "One more time?"
I stood up and drew a deep breath. Taking her hand, I led her to the bed. "For old time's sake."
She smiled.
Chapter 10I arrived at Holly's at seven o'clock Friday evening, just as she had asked, or commanded to be more accurate. She invited me in, kissed me, and informed me dinner was nearly ready. The aroma of simmering tomato sauce filled the apartment and raised my awareness of how hungry I actually was.
The small dining table had an elegant and romantic look about it. Two tall candles sat a third of the way in from each end of the table, soft flames danced over the linen napkins and crystal wine glasses. Most of the meals at Holly's were heated up frozen dinners eaten in front of the TV. I could tell something special was in the making.
I stood admiring a print she had on the wall while she put dinner on the table. A large black and white photograph of Times Square dominated the wall over the fake fireplace. Cars appeared to be whizzing around the city with trails dragging behind each car. Yellow cabs provided the only color.
Trouble Triangle (Tyler's Trouble Trilogy) Page 7
